“Oh. Okay. Well, I'd probably get you to the nearest surface and make you go nuts again.”
“What if I said that before I raped you, right after you said you loved me?”
He tilts his head at me again then looks around the room. His eyes pause at Madison, her head bent, and he takes the empty seat next to her.
“I'm assuming we had some sort of satisfactory sexual relationship before the rape, making that wording 'necessary'. I obviously pleased you before but something inside of you snapped; causing you to say that and take what you thought was yours and yours alone, branding me, if you will, with those hard words while hoping that I wouldn't ever move on. You probably thought you loved me too but felt it was inappropriate to feel that way toward me, so you gave me only what you could in that moment.”
I see Lil nod at Tim and sit back.
I look back at Tim. “If I loved you, why would I resort to rape?”
“To demean me, and attempt to turn me against you. I probably loved you so much that you felt it and that scared you. You had to have been struggling with your feelings, probably for quite a while, and that would be the only way you knew how to strip me of mine. There has to be something about me you would have a hard time dealing with for the rest of your life.”
I smile. This is why I love him. We understand where the other is coming from, without actually discussing this. He is going to get so lucky tonight, especially if I can pull Madison out of this self-destructive course she's on.
I turn to Madison, who is staring at Tim with a murderous look on her face.
Chapter Twelve
Another Pattern
“You think that bastard loved me?”
I frown at her. “You had a sexual relationship with him before then?”
“Yes,” she says, snapping her head to me.
“How did he treat you before then?”
She shrugs.
“Had he hit you before then? Been rough?”
She shakes her head.
“Outside of sex, what did you do with him?”
“Nothing; just go to movies, study.”
“Talk and laugh? Hold hands? Give each other goofy grins?”
Madison blinks rapidly at me. “Yeah,” she says slowly.
I tilt my head at her and raise my brow.
“Why would he rape me then?”
“I can't say for certain, Madison,” I say as I go back to the seat next to her as Tim vacates it. “Could be like Tim said, maybe he did love you, but something inside of him couldn't admit that. Maybe he was a sadistic bastard and that was the real him that day. You were raped, that is true; and, he did it, also very true. You're good in bed, which your own husband has said is the understatement of the century. It was a compliment from the both of them, Madison.”
“So? It still took me back to that rape when Matthew said it.”
“Which he said after sex, after you pleased him; and that Phil also said before the attack, referring to when you pleased him.”
Madison's head shoots to Lil. “That's the same thing you said.”
Lil smiles, “Great minds and all.”
“Okay. I'll work on it. That word,” Madison says quietly.
“About Adam; when you talk to your therapist, please mention how you feel about his death and your relationship with Matthew. And let me know who you choose, I'd like to keep up with your progress.”
“Are you quitting on me?” Madison frowns.
I shake my head. “Never.”
“Well, why can't I see you?”
“If you want, Madison, that's entirely up to you.”
“Will you keep that drawer full of candy?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then I'll schedule an appointment.”
“Okay, good. In the meantime, I want you tell your husband how you feel about him. Like Mandy and Joshua, I don't think you want to lose him and no one in here wants to see that happen, either.”
I lean into Madison and whisper, quietly as I can.
“Look, Madison, you have a pattern here that you are about to repeat with your husband. You're almost at the three-year mark and you're pulling away from him. Are you sure that's what you want to do?”
I stand and glare at her. She looks at the floor, like a guilty child.
“Then fix it. Right now,” I say harshly. “Right now, Madison!”
She shakes her head furiously. I bend to move the table, but Ethan grabs it and moves it for me. I turn to Matthew and beckon him over. He jumps up immediately and stands to my right, frowning at his wife's bent head.
“Stand up, Madison. Look at your husband.”
She slowly stands, crossing her arms. There's a brief look of resentment in her eyes as she looks at Matthew. I turn to Lil when I catch it.
“Did you see that?”
She nods. I turn to my husband. “Did you?”
“Hard to miss,” he confirms.
“What? I didn't see anything,” Matthew scowls.
I step back and watch the two of them staring at one another.
“Vicky--” Marcus says as anger builds in Madison's eyes.
I shake my head. “Wait for it.”
“Sweetie... she's going to--”
“I know, big time.”
“She needs to. It's long overdue,” Lil murmurs.
Tim quickly walks around me to Matthew's side. “Brace yourself,” he murmurs, “Listen, and when she's finished, reply with total honesty. Do not hold back.”
“Finished with what?” Matthew asks looking at Tim.
“You'll see,” he says, coming to my side. “Sorry, sweetheart. I felt he should know.”
I nod. Minutes tick by, it feels like. Finally, a fresh tear falls down Madison's cheek.
“Why didn't you approach that table?”
A stunned look crosses Matthew's face. “What?”
The snap we anticipated happens. Madison becomes enraged. “You said you came for me! You flew all the way to Chicago, hunted me down and found me and Brad on a date! Why did you just walk away from me then? You were seconds away from being with me and you bailed? You don't love me! You never did! You just wanted another fuck!”
Matthew steps back and stares at his wife. His mouth opens and I step up.
“Not yet. Allow her to finish. Listen,” I murmur.
“Who the hell condones the woman they 'love' being on a date with another guy and he's supposedly ten feet away from her? What was the fucking point of you coming to Chicago at all?”
Matthew looks at Tim and me when Madison pauses. We shake our heads. She’s so not done. She needs to deliver the blow, something that will hurt him.
“I fought you, Matthew! I didn't want to cave but you made it so fucking hard! I broke when I realized my instincts were right. I stupidly fell in love with your handsome, charming ass only to cry myself to sleep on that fucking plane because you did not return my feelings! You don't love me and you never did! You hurt me worse than Phil ever did!”
“Are you shitting me with this?” Matthew roars, finally snapping himself when she finally delivers the blow: Madison putting him in a category with Phil.
The group stands; ready to separate Matthew and Madison. I shake my head at them and so does Tim and Lil. They reluctantly sit down again.
“Three years and four children later and now you're coming at me with this... bullshit?”
“You bet I am! Think about it, Matthew. What's wrong with your last sentence?”
“Nothing!”
“Why isn't it ten years? Why have we only been together three years? Why is Adam dead and AJ not your biological child? Why do I have the child of the woman who shot me and my husband?”
I frown at my husband and look around the room.
Matthew scowls. “Are you thinking adopting Hank was a mistake?”
“Yes! No! Dammit... this is not about Henry!”
“Do you think adopting Hank was a mistake?” Matthew shouts.
�
�NO! I just... I want to know why I had to! You said you were there, Matthew! If you had approached that fucking table...” Madison cries out. “This is not about my son! This is about you and your need to fuck everything in a skirt!”
Matthew glares at his wife for what feels like a very long time.
“Okay, Madison... let's test that theory. Let's just see how many women I've fucked! Cookie!”
“What?” Mariah jumps.
“Did you and I fuck?”
“Um, no,” Mariah stammers.
“Hell no!” Marcus shouts.
“Let her answer, Cramp! Come on, Cookie! Say it like it is truest thing since the sky was proven blue!”
“Hell no!”
“Thank you! Monica, you and I fuck?”
“NO!”
“Alissa, had the goods?”
“No,” she chuckles.
“You starting to believe I have control now or should I ask Evelyn? Huh? How about my mother? I'll admit Rachel's tempting, but she was married when I met her! Even I have some fucking morals!”
“You didn't ask Lisa!” Madison shouts.
“Everybody in the world knows Lisa and I knew each other first!”
“Uh...” Lisa starts raising her hand as her husband scowls.
“I didn't,” Alissa whispers.
“Neither did I,” Mariah murmurs at Nathan.
“Lisa and I are the reasons the two families got to know one another and partnered in HRC!”
“Well, okay then! I'll shut the fuck up now!” Mariah shouts back. Matthew almost breaks his anger; almost.
“But we did not fuck; never even kissed him!” Lisa shouts at Nathan. “It would've been like doing my brother,” she shivers.
“Exactly, like my sister!” Matthew shivers, too. “What about you, Madison?”
“Yes, I've fucked you!”
Matthew tosses a hand at Madison's stomach, “Pretty fucking obvious there. What about you?”
“What? What about me?”
“You had the power, all of it; especially that morning after we made love. You woke before I did. You showered and dressed and you made that plane. Why didn't you wake me? At least said goodbye before you left me lying naked and alone in that bed! Where was your love then?”
“I didn't even know you were still there until I dressed and was going out the door! I thought you wanted a one-night stand and I was determined to get whatever I could from you while I had the chance!”
“When you realized I was still there... why not wake me then? Caspar's call still would have come through, but we could have worked things out before then or started to. So why didn't you wake me before you crept out?”
“Here it comes,” I murmur. “She's going to bolt.”
“I agree,” Tim replies. “Get ready.”
“I couldn't!” Madison screams out. “Are you even listening to me?”
“I can't help but to listen to you since you're screaming at me!”
“Go to hell, Matthew!” Madison screams, walking around him and heading to the door.
“Oh, no you don't,” Mariah shouts, standing up. “Freeze, Madison!”
“No!” Madison shouts back as she reaches the door.
“Let her go, Mariah,” I say quickly. “Maybe she'll realize what she's done when her kids are at Matthew's house with their stepmother.”
Madison freezes then slowly turns her tear stained face to me.
“What are you talking about, Vicky?” Matthew shouts.
“She's pushing you away, Matthew. Her thinking is that she will do it to you before you can leave her. Phil's words are deep in her brain and she believes them. Even with Brad, who she said she didn't love. I'd bet she did everything she could to end that relationship before he could.”
“She did,” Mariah confirms.
“What did she do? What finally ended that relationship?”
Mariah shakes her head.
“What did you do, Madison?” I ask, hugging her. She opens right up.
She turns watery eyes to me and whispers. “I got drunk and slept with Adam, the dick producer, after I saw Brad at an office party with one of his tarts. He and I weren't exclusive, but I still...”
“Still what,” I whisper back.
“Still I didn't see anyone else. I wanted Matthew. Adam was there. Before I knew it, I fell for him, but still loving Matthew.”
“Why, Madison? Why Adam; if he was so bad to you, why him?”
“He said he was pining for me since my interview and his actions were his way of hiding his love for me. He asked me to give us a chance. He was so sweet and kind and attractive. He wanted me, so I tried.”
“When did he tell you he loved you?”
“The day I agreed to be in a relationship with him.”
“When did you tell him?”
“Months later; I didn't feel that way for a while and he assured me he didn't care. That he would wait, still loving me.”
“And that's why you resent Matthew.”
“What?”
“Sit down, Madison.”
She glares at me.
“You want to leave? Fine, but I think if you do, it's the short beginning to the end of your marriage. Is that what you what? You should know that I and everyone in this room believe you want to toss your husband aside because you think he doesn't love you. Sit down and talk this out,” I say as Tim hands her tissue.
She remains quiet then I turn to her confused-looking husband.
“Matthew, please tell your wife how you feel about her.”
“No,” he snaps, crossing his arms.
“No? Why?”
“I have a need now, Vicky. I want to know why she ran from me in 2012.”
“You know why,” Madison whines.
“There's no way you could have thought I only wanted a one-night stand with you, Madison. Not after that conversation we had when these two went to bed,” Matthew says, pointing to Marcus and Mariah.
I frown. “What conversation? What was said?”
“We wanted each other. Neither of us could deny this... this chemistry. That night, after dinner, I could see she was skeptical about starting up with me. I asked her for a kiss and said I would leave after. She said no, that she wouldn't be able to resist me if I kissed her. So I told her, that night would be about what she wanted, whatever she wanted. That was when she kissed me and invited me to her room.”
“You invited yourself.”
“No, you invited me, Madison. I kissed you and said I was leaving; you convinced me not to go. Made it pretty fucking hard not to.”
“How? What did she say?” Tim said, then frowned. “Sorry, Sweetie.”
“It's fine,” I nod. “I was about to ask that.”
“I said I was leaving. She said she was, too. I asked her where she was going. She says, and I quote 'To bed. Sounds like I'll be alone. Shame.'”
“Then?”
“She licked my lip and said, quoting again, 'Big shame; huge. Feels like you are, too. I'm sure there's something I can do to help you with this.'”
“'This'?” I ask.
“He was erect, Vic,” Tim says quietly.
“Oh. Oh, no... Resignation,” I groan looking at Madison. “You really did think it was only sex with him.”
She nods softly.
“Madison, you have to learn to listen to Matthew. Stop hearing what Phil said. He was insignificant and cruel. Turn around. Look at your husband.”
She stands there and gives me a sorrowful look. Tim walks to her and physically turns her.
I hug her from behind and put my chin on her shoulder. “This is your husband, Madison,” I whisper. “This is not Phil or any other ass you've been with. He loves you. He's not going anywhere if you don't push him away. Probably not even then, no matter how hard you push.” I look over at Matthew. “She really thought it was only sex with you, Matthew. That's why she didn't wake you.”
“I thought that's all it was for her, too. I thought that
's all she wanted from me after her abrupt departure and that fucking note.”
“What note?”
Matthew pulls out his wallet and extracts an orange piece of paper. Madison's breathing pattern changes and she's red.
“You kept that, after all this time?” Madison asks, staring at the paper.
Matthew nods. “This is a reminder for me to communicate with the people I love.”
I walk to Matthew and read the note. After I'm done, I turn to Madison and hand the note to Tim.
“Total one-night stand note,” I say.
“Classic,” Tim nods. “'Enjoy your life'? Never better at saying, 'I got mine and I don't quite care if you got yours or not.'”
“Shit,” Marcus mutters. “That's what you meant.”
I turn to Marcus and ask him what he's referring to.
“Mariah was in a coma after the kidnapping. Matthew, Ethan, Joshua and I went to Josh's to update her condition to the family while waiting for her to come out of surgery.”
“Oh, God,” Ethan groans. “I remember this.”
“We were discussing who tells the truth and it came out that I remembered the date of the first time I made love to my wife. They confessed they knew their dates too, one by one.”
“Only Matthew... he said the date with Madison and went into this diatribe about love and communication,” Ethan says.
“What did he say?” I ask, sitting in my seat. “Marcus? Please?”
Marcus nods. “I assumed he was talking about Sidra, since I had just found out about them.” He closes his eyes.
“July 22, 2012”
I scowled. “Sidra wasn't working with us then. You didn't reconnect with her until August 26th of that year.”
“I hate that memory of yours, Cramp.”
“Who was she,” Joshua demands, scowling too.
I couldn't believe the look of pain that swept Matthew's face. Quickly, but it was there. He looked off into the distance.
“Madison.”
“Madison King? You mean Cookie's high school friend?” Ethan asked, surprised.
Matthew nodded.
“Wait... we were talking about the women we love, Toad. Not someone you just fucked,” Joshua shouted.
Matthew gave Joshua a murderous look. “I did not fuck Madison.”
“Okay, now I'm confused,” Joshua sighs. “Did you sleep with her or not?”
Broken: Book One of the M Series Page 14