by Kristi Rose
Though the pounding of the hooves continued to echo in her head, she knew they were away from the corral because the sound had faded. She lifted her head and saw the big house in front of them. Jace brought his horse to a quick halt, jumped off, and pulled her down seconds later. Her knees wobbled, and she grasped his shoulders to steady herself.
“Are you okay?” He patted her body up and down.
“Yeah, but it was a little uncertain there for a moment.” She tried to laugh, but it came out shaky.
Jace stared at her, his face rigid with…anger?
Yeah, she was going with anger. The small muscle in his cheek pulsed in and out at a rapid pace. He pressed his lips together then puffed out one word. “Christ.” He drew in another breath.
Silver lining? She was getting to know his moods. She’d called this one correctly right out of the gate.
“I’m sorry I messed up opening the thingy.” She tested her legs for steadiness and let go of his shoulders. His hands were on her waist, his thumbs digging into her hips.
“What the fuck were you doing?” When the words exploded from him, Meredith cringed. She dare not look to see where Willow was.
“Don’t yell at me.” She kept her voice low.
“You could have been killed. I’ll yell if I want. It’s the only thing keeping me from shaking you to death.” For emphasis he shook her at her hips.
“I made a mistake when I opened the corral. Live and learn.” She didn’t want to fight with him. What she really wanted to do was go inside and cry in the shower. She felt cold to her core, fear having driven the heat from her. Any minute now she was going to turn into a sobbing mess of a girl.
Please don’t let it be in front of everyone.
“You almost didn’t live and learn. Jesus, Meredith, you should stay inside or in the garden. Let us handle the cattle.”
A sudden ignition of anger burst through her, removing any need for heat. Using her forearms, she broke his grip from her hips. “Oh, so that’s my role. I’ll just stay inside and clean the house and venture outside to collect fruits and vegetables. Are you sure that’s safe? I might get stung by a bee or a thorn in my thumb.” She pushed at his chest, moving him away. “Your sister can work outside with the cows, but not me. I’m too stupid.” She punched his chest for good measure then stormed up the stairs.
“I never said you were stupid. Just maybe dangerous because you lack knowledge and, for the record, Willow grew up on this ranch. You didn’t.”
She stood at the door and faced him. “So it’s too late for me to learn anything? Is that what you’re saying? I’m a dangerous dumb-dumb. A moron?” She flung the door open and stormed inside to flee up the stairs.
She heard Jace pound up the outside steps then stomp across the porch, but she didn’t care. She could make noise, too, and she began to stomp up the last handful of stairs toward her room, mumbling about mouth breathers and knuckle draggers.
“Meredith,” Jace yelled and slammed the door.
She didn’t bother to respond, continuing to stomp down the hall all while trying not to cry or apologize. She knew she should, but she felt so useless around the ranch, and now she’d disrupted the work because of her idiotic actions. He wouldn't need to point that out—she felt like every single synonym to dummy a person could list.
He thudded up the stairs behind her and, with a squeal, she bolted for their room, trying to get behind a closed door before he reached her. But he had speed, and she had Jell-O legs, and by the time she got into their room and turned for the door, he was already in the space blocking it.
She pointed a finger in his face and had every intention of telling him to get lost. Instead she said, “Don’t you yell at me, Jace Shepard. I am one second from falling apart here, and I don’t need you to make me feel any worse.”
Instantly, his face softened. “You scared me to death. At first I didn’t see you. I was watching the calves, and then I saw Willow pointing and jumping around like a crazy person. That’s when I saw you running, and I froze. For one second, one second when you could have been caught under hoof, I froze and, after that, I kept thinking that I might have killed you. That one second when I did nothing might have been the one you needed.”
Meredith reached out, her hand coming to rest on his chest. “I’m sorry.”
He covered her hand with his.
“But how awesome was that rescue?” She needed to lighten the mood, or else she was going to say something he might not be ready to hear. Something she’d realized when she’d been running from the cattle, believing a painful death was pending. To think she had only this short time with Jace, and so much was left unsaid or…untried.
Her mind went to a wicked place. Maybe he wasn’t ready to hear how she felt about him either. If she confessed her blooming love, and he did a Han Solo on her, it would wreck her, and there’d be no arranged marriage to get her out of this one.
He smiled, linking his fingers through hers. “Intense trust exercise. That’s how we vet people on the ranch.”
Meredith laughed and stepped closer. Jace reached out with his other arm and snagged her around the waist, tugging her toward him. He kicked the door closed with his booted foot.
“Meredith,” his voice was low. “I may seem calm now, but inside I’m not. To know you’re all right, I need to feel you. I want to hear those sounds of pleasure you make when I kiss you, the ones deep in your throat. That needs to replace the sound of your scream.” He stepped up to her, his front pressed to hers, their hands between them. “I want to push you against the bed, strip your jeans to your ankles, and take you roughly from behind. I need this. I need you.” He tugged her even closer, his fingers squeezing hers.
She met his gaze. “What’s stopping you?” Then using every ounce of courage she could muster, she stretched up on her toes, let her body rest fully against his, and kissed him.
Chapter 20
The whole point of taking the four days out to camp was to get away from Meredith, not be stuck with her. Not that he would be stuck, per se. Just that he wouldn’t have the space to think. They'd consummated their marriage and then repeated the act over the last three nights––Willow sleeping in the cabin to “give it a test run” was an additional incentive. Then his parents had moved home, Willow had moved back into her room next door, and everything came to a screeching halt because privacy was lost with the thin walls.
Coming together for the first time had started out with all the urgency possible for a human to possess. Rough kisses, shoving her against the wall, and quick hands stripping her of her clothes. Then he'd laid her on the bed, covered her body with his, and time slowed, touch softened, and two people connected so deeply it had left him stunned.
The hell with all the potential awkwardness they might be creating. The hell with it all. He'd found a new nirvana and wanted to wallow away his time there––with her. Continuing this practice was all he could think about. He felt like a top spinning recklessly out of control, and he needed to topple over and catch his breath. When she was around, he lost the capacity to use skills that separated man from beast. Like reasoning and calculation. He became primitive and only wanted to constantly mate and promise her the world.
Now the whole damn family lived within spitting distance of each other, and this pent up whatever-it-was-called was making him crazy. Yeah, he was happy to have Pops back on the ranch, but the early mornings and late nights were becoming the highlights of his day. Something intangible had shifted. Together he and Meredith worked in harmony getting chores done, and though she occasionally would turn a perfectly good steak into unintentional beef jerky–– Jace didn’t care. He’d eat canned soup everyday if that was what it took to keep things just the way they were. Last night they'd gotten into bed talking about the ranch and laughing as he shared stories about growing up with the mountains outside his backdoor. He loved her endless questions about the workings of his family business. Then he had lain there for hours dreaming abo
ut exploring her body.
All the reasons why he decided to get outdoors for a few days. Clear his head.
Leave it to a meddling mother to jack up those plans.
Now they would be sharing a tent. Jeez, he’d never get anything done. All because his mother was a master manipulator.
“Someone should stay behind to help you out,” Jace said.
“I have Willow.”
“Wait, I thought Willow was doing summer school.” He tried to focus on the distraction of his sister instead of the fantasy of Meredith naked in a sleeping bag. Good Christ, he was so easy to please. Everything she did made him hard—wear a flannel shirt, make coffee, eat a sandwich. He was a freaking lost cause.
“Her summer A class was cancelled, so she’ll be home for six more weeks, then head back to campus for summer B. Let’s get you packed, Meredith.”
Meredith and Willow were whispering furtively. Jace strained to hear what they were saying.
“What are you two hiding over there,” Marjory said, pointing to Willow and Meredith.
“Um…” Willow said.
Yep, they were up to something. Jace was certain, and by his mother's narrow gaze, she knew it, too.
“Did you say I needed to do something, Marjory?” Meredith asked.
“I said we need to get you packed.” Marjory crossed her arms. “What's going on here?”
“Nothing. I was telling Meredith about some of the icky parts of rustic camping.” Willow busied herself by buzzing around the kitchen, stacking items like water bottles and granola bars on the counter.
Jace would bet his sister was lying, but he had a larger pressing issue going on than whatever it was his sister was hiding.
He turned to Meredith. “When was the last time you rode?”
“Um, a few years ago maybe, but I—”
His mom shoved him in the shoulder. “Whose fault is that? From day one you should have had this woman on a horse.” She turned to Meredith “You’ll need some warmer clothes. It gets cool out there at night.”
Jace glanced at Meredith, who looked like he felt—railroaded. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I'm sure Willow mentioned it can be kinda grubby out there.” He looked between the two. “She told you there were no flushing toilets, right?”
“It's called an alpine smear, Meredith. Once you poo outside, you take a rock and––”
“Enough, Willow! Some things should be left to the imagination,” Marjory scolded.
He watched her process what that meant, a variety of expressions crossing her face. She and Willow hadn't been discussing camping. He could see that in her horrified expression, and had he been in a better state of mind, one that possessed a sense of humor, he’d have laughed. He was torn. Part of him hoped that would put her off, but another part wanted her not to be bothered by that.
“I ah…well, I don’t want to be a bother, so if I’ll be in the way, I’ll just stay here.”
Well, hell. How was he supposed to answer that? Of course she’d be a bother, just not like she was thinking.
“Jace, tell your bride she would not be a bother on this trip.” His mother pushed him in the shoulder then shifted her focus to Meredith. “You at least need to try and decide if it’s something you’d like to rustic camp again in the future. It’s a rite of passage here. No pressure, though.” She lowered her voice as if mumbling to herself. “All Shepard woman do it at least once.”
Jace was curious as to how she’d react to the Shepard woman challenge. She set her jaw and pushed her shoulders back. “I’d like to go.” She was quiet, but her voice was firm.
Marjory clapped her hands together with glee. “Fabulous. Let’s get you packed.” Marjory ushered Meredith out of the room, and just over an hour later, they had their horses saddled and loaded with the bare essentials.
Meredith in jeans, a T-shirt, and hair in a ponytail looked far different than the bride he met and married in the same day. Gone were her painted nails and polished look, replaced by a casual and appealing Meredith. Jace looked away, not wanting to make something out of nothing. So what if her nail polish was chipped off or that she wore her hair more casually.
She rode Willow's sporty mare named Fancy and, though a bit stiff, appeared more natural in the saddle than some of the locals. “You okay? Comfortable?”
She rode past him without so much as glancing his way. “Would it make you happy if I wasn't and had to go back to the house?” She slowed Fancy and glanced back at him.
“It's not that I don't want you here. It's that I have things to do and I can't be distracted.” Jeez, even that made him sound like an asshole, and there was no doubt she took it that way because she sat up straighter and swiveled in her saddle.
“So I'm a distraction?” Her mouth dropped open with indignation.
Jace couldn't help but smile. “Not a bad distraction. A good one. A real good one.”
Meredith blushed and turned away.
Jace looked around to get his bearings. He'd been so preoccupied, he needed a moment to make sure they were headed in the right direction. “We’ll start in the far east pasture and circle back around. I usually like to go out and work my way in, but we’re getting a late start.”
“You know, if you tell me what to look for, I might be some help out here. There's more to me than you think.”
Jace sat back in his saddle, his reins in one hand, his other hand resting on his knee. “I know this. You've done great learning stuff around the house and pitching in, but how about you fill me in on some specifics? I know very little about you, and when I ask, I get silence.”
She bit her lip. “I grew up around horses. We had a house next to my grandparents, and they had the horses. My grandmother used to race thoroughbreds as a business but had gotten away from that and into training, breeding, and some horse rescuing. I rode every chance I got.”
“Why did you quit riding?” He moved up next to her and pointed down into a valley, the direction they needed to go. He didn’t want her to stop now that she’d started. “You know my mother died.” She glanced at him, likely waiting for a nod. “My grandparents died in the same accident. My father sold off everything after their funerals. Including the horses.”
“One afternoon when I’d returned from therapy, my father told me what he planned. The next day, my favorite horse, her name was Lizzy, and the others were gone. A week later, we moved away from the only home I'd known to this ugly McMansion on the outskirts of the city. Far from where I had grown up, but close enough to be just out of reach.” Meredith brushed a finger under one eye then the other. “Leaving it all was like losing my mother and grandparents all over again.”
She looked ahead, avoiding his gaze, and he wondered what it would be like to lose most of the people he loved in one day. And he was worried about her getting too close to her family. If ever there ever was a person who needed people, it was Meredith.
He was a top dick, thinking only about himself and getting the ranch. He shook his head, Sabrina’s advice ringing in his ears. Hadn't she told him that to get something he had to give something? He was getting the ranch out of this deal. It was only fair for him to look for an opportunity to give to her.
“You were a teenager, right, when they died?” He rode next to her but didn’t look at her, knowing she would be uncomfortable.
“I was sixteen.” She stretched forward and rubbed her horse’s neck.
“We’re going to camp right at the top of that hill there.” He pointed.
They rode in silence until they reached a tree that stood out from the rest. After sliding off their horses, Meredith tied them to a large branch and worked with Jace to unpack their tent.
“If you want to talk about it, I’m here. I know when we got Pop’s diagnosis, I felt like the world tilted and was trying to toss me off.” He paused, plucked a long blade of grass, set it between his lips, and then leaned against a tree. That day had been awful, so many unknowns, and for a man as self-s
ufficient as Jace, it rendered him helpless in ways he never thought possible. No matter how strong or smart or cunning he could be, it would never be enough to cure his father.
He watched her, her face changing expressions from moment to moment. Was she reliving it? Did it bring back a plethora of memories like Pops did for him? It was always a game of comparison. He’d watch Pops struggle with opening a sandwich bag and recall a time he took down a steer. Each of those were gut punches, as he would then try to envision his father paralyzed and confined to a chair. Jace pushed from the tree and scooped up the tent. After pulling it from the bag, he grasped two corners and cracked it in the air, spreading it out. Meredith took one side and staked it.
“My father was the sort who was present, but mostly in body and not spirit. So losing my mother was—is—the most painful experience I’ve ever had.” She connected the poles and threaded them through the tent side. “It was as if my father went nuts afterwards and was determined to remove all traces of my mother.” The tent was up, and Jace tossed their sleeping bags inside.
“Here, help me hang up the bear container.” He tossed her a rope and carried the large cylindrical container over to a different hill upwind, several hundred feet away from their tent.
“Wow, bears keeping popping up.” She looked over one shoulder, then the other.
He shimmied up a tree and tied off one end of the rope. “You should always be mindful of bears. Most are easily scared, but we got one that likes my herd. How did they die? Car accident?” What were the possibilities of three people dying in the same accident? It had to be something transportation based unless it was something so awful and tragic he couldn’t imagine.
Meredith stared up at the clear sky; she squinted at a small speck, the droning of the engine in the wind.
Jace frowned at the same spot and put the pieces together. “It was a plane crash?”