You couldn’t see ten feet into the dark, but somehow instead of feeling afraid, I felt…cocooned, protected, sheltered. Like the darkness was a wall between us and the rest of the world.
“Are you settling in okay here? I meant to ask this morning but you were busy with Isabelle and I never got around to it.”
“I am, it’s very quiet and relaxing.”
“I would’ve thought someone as young as you are would find that a hardship.” You and me both!
“No, I knew what it would be like when I went for the interview.”
In fact that was the selling point. At the time I wanted to get away from people and the hustle and bustle of the city; away from life.
Of course I didn’t say that. Or mention the fact that I’d found a whole lot more than I’d expected to find in this remote paradise.
“And what do you think of it, my humble abode?” He asked the question as if my answer was of the utmost importance.
“I’m not sure you can call this humble Callan.” I looked up and back at the behemoth of a house that was seriously built for a family of ten at least.
“But to answer your question, I like it here. I thought it would take some getting used to, being this far away from everything. But it didn’t.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that it felt like I belonged, but I’m not in the habit of being that trite.
“So you don’t miss home, your friends, family?” I didn’t give a canned response, but actually gave it some thought before answering. “No!”
No other words were spoken for the longest while and we both settled into a comfortable silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts as we sipped our quickly cooling tea.
Soon it was time to turn in. Life starts early around here and I’ve been averaging about five hours sleep a night. What with sexy hot dreams that awaken me with aches in uncharted territory.
I said goodnight and made my way upstairs for a nice long shower to relax and get myself ready for what was to come.
Noelle
That night as I climbed into bed I could already feel the excitement building. It always seems to start between my thighs. I’ve come to expect it every night now, the dream.
But it’s the strangest thing this dream. Unlike any that came before. It always starts and ends the same. No matter how I may hope otherwise.
Each time as soon as dream Callan starts to enter me, I’d come awake with a start. I wondered if maybe that was because real me was still a virgin.
But that didn’t make sense, what could one possibly have to do with the other? It did leave me achy and needy for hours afterwards, and it was getting harder and harder to fall back to sleep again.
Tonight was no different. He came to me the same as always, removed my night dress and laid me back against the bed. I felt his weight and spread my legs to accept the heat of his length pressed up against me.
We shared the same torrid kisses, hot, slow, with our tongues chasing each other inside our mouths until I was out of breath, before he took my nipple into his mouth.
As with all the nights before, at this point I’m mindless with need and freer than I’ll ever be in reality. My hands reach out to hold his head against me as he suckles hungrily at my flesh.
I can feel the beading of my nipple, it seems so real. The cool night air against my heated flesh as it pops from his lips before he moves onto the other and send me up again.
Just when I think I can’t take anymore, as if he knows, he leaves my over sensitive flesh and makes his way down to that secret place between my spread thighs.
That needy feeling is building to fever pitch inside me and as always, my heart picked up speed here. I held my breath with anticipation. The need is so strong I’ll die if he doesn’t touch me soon.
I can feel myself trying to direct the dream, wanting, begging, for this time to be different. But again, I came awake as soon as I felt his hand move between us to remove his cock from his trousers.
Tonight though there was a slight difference. Tonight as the fog began to clear, as I struggled to stay in the dream, something intruded.
I waited for the sound to come again before jumping from the bed and rushing next door to the baby. My heart was still off kilter when I made it to her room and stood over her cradle.
“What is it sweet baby?” I lifted her from the cradle and moved to the changing table to check her. She was still dry, but she was warm to the touch.
“Aw poor baby, are you teething?” Ella did say she thought she might be. I walked into her bathroom and searched the medicine cabinet for the baby aspirin, before fetching her bottle.
I sat in the rocking chair in the corner, holding her close as she fussed and rooted around until she got comfortable. The dream was long gone by now, with only a remnant of that sweet feeling lingering behind.
I’m not sure how much time passed but I must’ve dozed off because I awoke to find Callan standing next to the chair looking down at us.
The look of longing fell easily from his face but it was too late, I’d seen it. He slowly reached out his hand and for a second it seemed like he was going to touch me.
But at the last second he cupped the back of his daughter’s head instead. I released the breath I wasn’t aware I’d been holding, my face growing flush as I recalled my dreams.
And then his finger did touch my cheek, fleetingly, but I felt it all the same. “You look beat, why don’t I sit with her?”
“No…” I cleared my throat and tried again. “No we’re fine. You have to be up early in the morning, why don’t you go back to bed and get some more rest?”
“Okay then.” I held my breath when he lowered his head, but again he was just kissing the baby. I felt searing disappointment when he straightened up again.
I looked up to find him watching me with a knowing look on his face. My lips fell open on a silent breath as his eyes fell on them and I felt that strange fire building inside just before he turned and walked away.
I exhaled loud enough to shake the baby who fussed before settling down again. What exactly has gotten into me? I’ve never behaved this way before in my life. I was all but panting after the poor man like a bitch in heat. Embarrassing!
But I can’t seem to help myself when I’m around him. I seem to become this whole other person and forget propriety and good sense. I also seem to forget that I’m not the kind of girl to jump into bed with anyone.
In fact, the reason I’d ran here with my tail tucked between my legs is because my boyfriend of two years had slept with someone else because I was deathly afraid of losing my virginity.
I quickly brushed away those hurtful thoughts and memories as I buried my nose in the baby’s hair. It had the usual calming effect and I drifted off again.
In the morning I was a tired mess. The baby had been cranky off and on all throughout the night. She’d come awake each time I tried putting her back in her cradle, so I’d had no choice but to sit with her until just before the sun came up.
Now I felt like death as I dragged my tired butt down the grand staircase. I was badly in need of some coffee. Maybe that would help wake me up.
“Oh no you don’t. Back to bed.” I turned sleep blurred eyes up at him as he ushered me back out of the kitchen towards the stairs. “But...”
“No arguments! You’ve been up all night with the baby. She’s still down and I’ve already called Ella to come in a little early to help out. You can grab at least a couple more hours rest. Now off with you.”
He didn’t have to tell me twice. I made my way back up the stairs much quicker this time and fell into bed exhausted. The next time I opened my eyes the sun was well up in the sky.
I took a quick shower to work the kinks out before heading downstairs apologetically. “Oh there you are. I hear you had a rough night.”
That was the greeting from Ella who was standing at the stove stirring something in the pot while Isabelle looked on from her highchair.
&n
bsp; The baby greeted me with a happy babble, which meant she was at least feeling better, and her color did look a bit better than the last time I saw her.
“Thanks Ella I’m really sorry.” I walked over to the baby who was gnawing on a teething ring and drooling for all she’s worth. I realized as I stood there that I’d missed her.
“Don’t be silly.” Ella assured me that it was fine as I lifted the baby from her chair for a smell. Why does my heart feel like this whenever I pick her up?
“Hello sweet baby, did you miss me?” She gave me her toothless grin around the icy treat that seemed to be working wonders for her and I made a note to get it if we have another night like the one before.
I sat and chatted with Ella for a minute, enjoying my coffee after refusing her offer of breakfast, before taking the baby out for her morning walk down by the pond. She loves to sit in her stroller and watch the geese, and the swans that her daddy had bought just for her.
Just like the first time we came here a few days ago, it felt familiar being here with her like this. The scene was familiar, like I’d lived it before.
As I sat with one hand on the stroller pushing it back and forth, I got lost in thought. So many things here seem familiar in a weird way.
But I know no reason why. I’d even asked mom during one of my calls home if maybe we’d been here before when I was much younger, but she said no.
I mentioned it jokingly once to Callan, but he just got this faraway look on his face and never did answer. I guess it wasn’t as important as I was making it out to be.
Something else that’s been bothering me. Every once in a while I’d think I hear children crying somewhere in the house, only to find nothing when I go searching. It had happened often enough that I’d asked Ella if there was another family nearby.
When she asked why and I explained she’d gone quiet for a second before shaking her head no. And then she’d gone on with whatever story she’d been telling me that day.
Now as I sit here looking out over the water, the scenery began to fade once more until I saw another day, one as sunny as this.
But I knew it was different because the people I saw going by on the boat and milling about on the lawn were dressed in what we call period costumes. I couldn’t hear their laughter but I saw them as though they were right there in front of me.
It looked like some sort of garden party from an old historical film set in antebellum days. Women gaily dressed in pastels with hoop skirts, carrying matching parasols. While men stood around in their Sunday best.
The scene was so real I felt myself being drawn in as if by an invisible string. It was so enticing, so inviting, I felt myself begin to drift. I could almost feel the gaiety of the moment, the sun warm on my face…
I jerked out of my daydream when the baby began to fuss and reached for the bottle of water I’d brought along to keep her cool.
From the way she rubbed her gums against the nipple I think the poor thing would have a tooth or two any day now.
When I turned back to the water the scene was gone and instead the day was as it was before. I smiled to myself, wondering at my strange affliction since coming here.
I’ve never been much of a daydreamer, but ever since the accident, I’ve found my mind drifting more and more. Only here it seems to have grown much worse.
We stayed down there under the shade of one of the big magnolia trees for an hour or so, before she started to droop. Then it was back to the house for a quick wipe down to give her some comfort, and then a lunch of mashed yams, which seems to be her favorite. She was half asleep before I got her out of her chair.
That night when I woke to her fretting I was ready. I ran downstairs to the freezer before going back to her. By the time I reached her room Callan was already there, lifting her from the cradle.
I stopped in my tracks, taking in the sight of his muscular back. He wasn’t wearing a shirt tonight, just loose fitting striped cotton pajama bottoms. Are those things supposed to look that good?
“Here! I got this for her.” I held out the teething ring feeling a little bad that he’d had to get out of bed. He probably thought I hadn’t heard her or that I was too lazy to get out of bed to see to her.
“Thank you sweetheart.” He said it so casually; the word just fell from his lips. Meanwhile I was in a state of shock for a solid five-seconds.
Everything he says sounds like sex on a stick, but those particular words rubbed against something deep inside me. Of course he carried on tending to his daughter like he hadn’t just made me twitchy.
It was always an experience to watch him with her, his big hands being so careful, so gentle as he changed her before lifting her to his shoulder as he patted her back.
“Why don’t we both stay up with her tonight?” I smiled at his suggestion and headed for the rocking chair but he had other ideas. I didn’t object when he took my hand in his and led me from the room.
Or when he walked to this bedroom door and walked straight through to his balcony. Unlike mine, his had a table and chairs out there.
Noelle
I stood in the doorway looking back into the deep darkness of his room where the biggest bed I’ve ever seen took up most of one wall. I’d never been in there before even though I’d been tempted more than once to go snooping.
As I looked back at the mahogany monstrosity where wisps of moonlight highlighted the angels and cherubs that were grafted into the headboard, my mind drifted.
My heart raced and my body grew light as that strange feeling overcame me. The way it does in my dreams. My fingertips itched and tingled as if reaching for something and before I knew it I had taken a step back into the room.
His voice broke the spell and I jerked around like I’d been caught doing something I shouldn’t have. “I’m sorry what did you say?” He looked at me peculiarly for a second before answering.
I had to read his lips this time since there was a ringing in my ears. A leftover from the spellbinding effect.
“I said the night air seems to have calmed her down a little.” I looked down at the baby in his arms before moving to take the seat next to his. The baby was in fact on her way back to sleep, unlike the night before.
We sat in silence looking out over the lawn and trees in the distance. It was another one of our comfortable silences, broken only by the sounds of the night.
And then I saw it. Something ,or someone, moving across the lawn almost dreamlike. I strained my eyes to see, thinking that it was Trudy.
But the more my eyes adjusted the more I realized it couldn’t be. Trudy can’t walk on air can she? I think I opened my mouth to scream in horror, but his hand came down on mine.
“It’s okay, I see her too. There’s nothing to be afraid of. She can’t hurt you; I won’t let her. I won’t ever let anything hurt you again.” I looked at him sharply.
His words made no sense and yet they had a very calming affect. What did he mean ‘again?’ I don’t recall telling his mom what Jack had done to me to send me into hiding.
I brushed it off as just a figure of speech, and since his hand was still covering mine, felt myself settle, his words playing over and over in my head.
By the time I looked again the specter was gone and I marveled at the fact that I was still sitting there and not running next door to get packed. I think I’ve just seen an actual ghost.
In another time and place I would’ve been scared out of my mind. But he’d been so nonchalant about the whole thing, and it is a fact that between Ella’s stories and my own ethereal experiences, I half expected the place to be crawling with ghosts.
But who was she? He seemed to know even though he didn’t mention it again. I imagine he’s seen his share, living here his whole life. Maybe now I have an explanation for the crying children I keep thinking I hear.
It seemed like we sat there for hours, both gazing off into the darkness, neither of us speaking. While the baby’s little chest rose and fell with each breath as she
nodded off in her daddy’s arms.
“Come!” Once again his voice shook me out of my reverie as he took my hand and helped me up from the chair with the baby held snugly on his other arm.
There was a loud screech coming from beyond the trees as we walked back inside and my hand trembled in his. He squeezed it reassuringly and I relaxed as my eyes fell once again on his bed.
We went together to the nursery to put the baby back to bed. We stood together in silence, looking down at her after he pulled the light summer blanket over her little butt.
The air in the room grew heavy and I could hear our breaths, his and mine, in the stillness of the room. My body tingled in anticipation, almost as if I knew what was coming.
And when I felt his eyes on me and looked up, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to stand still as he lowered his head slowly, tentatively, to mine.
Time stood still and my breath caught as I waited for that first brush of his lips against mine. My eyes drifted closed just as the warmth of his palm cupped my cheek.
And then I felt it. Almost as if I’d been waiting a lifetime. His lips touched mine, like butterfly wings in passing and I felt that rush of fire beneath my skin.
I released my pent up breath into his lungs as he turned my body completely into his and wrapped his arms around me, drawing me in close.
His arms held me close as his lips ate at mine. I felt his tongue as it moved around the confines of my mouth and the dream kiss and this one that was oh so real seemed to blend into one.
It was better than anything I’d imagined during the night. Better than my dreams. I never knew a kiss could feel like this, so overwhelmingly sensual.
And though his hands never left their place around me, it felt as though they were everywhere, setting off sparks that ignited into flames.
I got lost in sensation, never wanting it to end. Trying to get even closer to the heat of his naked chest. And then off in the distance, I heard a woman’s scream of angry rage.
Babysitter’s Club Noelle Page 5