You know how they say children and animals are great detectors of good and evil? Well, her reaction wasn’t giving me much hope that this thing whatever it was is the former.
She wasn’t being her usual playful self, but instead stared wide eyed into space with a fretful look on her little face as she fussed even more.
That feeling of being watched grew stronger as I made my way from the nursery and headed down the stairs with the baby on my hip.
I had the sudden fear of being pushed down the stairs. I even felt the sensation of my body going into flight and kept looking back over my shoulder for the threat, but again there was nothing there.
Callan wasn’t looking much better than I felt when I walked into the kitchen. After the day and night we’d had I was expecting him to be a little bit more jovial. Instead he looked like he hadn’t slept a wink.
Though his morning greeting was still sweet and reassuring, I felt the change, like his mind was way more preoccupied than usual.
Of course to make matters worse, Trudy walked into the kitchen just as I was leaning over him with the baby in my arms for my now prerequisite morning kiss.
She made no secret of the fact that she wasn’t pleased, and I wondered again what the real story was with her. It was obvious no one wanted her here, at least they didn’t seem to.
Ella still wouldn’t bring it up, but I gathered from her reaction every time Trudy’s name was mentioned that there was no love lost between those two either.
I hadn’t seen Sheila since my first day here and I was dying to just so I could ask. And maybe ask about the crying woman and the floating lady. Callan never brought it up again and I kinda got the feeling that he didn’t want to.
Breakfast was a bit more somber than days past and I was beginning to feel self-conscious about my actions of the day before. But as soon as we left the table a change seemed to come over him.
“Why don’t we go for a ride? You haven’t seen the rest of the land yet.” He took the baby and nuzzled her neck, making her laugh, and just that easily that heavy feeling was gone. It felt like the sun came from behind the clouds.
“That sounds nice.” He took my hand and led me outside to the garage where he kept his vehicles. There was a Range Rover, a work truck with a bed and a sports car.
I knew he had money, though he didn’t act like it, but the line of antique cars in the other bays were a testament to the fact.
He strapped the baby into her seat and then helped me into the passenger side, even strapping me in. My eyes followed his every move and when he stopped and kissed me, the last vestige of unease dissipated.
He’d picked the perfect time for our little outing. It was still early morning so the sun wasn’t blazing hot and the birds could still be heard chirping away in the tree branches as we drove with the windows down.
As soon as we left the driveway and turned left, in the opposite direction from which I came that first day, there was nothing but open fields some of them covered in wild flowers and dotted with magnolia trees.
“One of your ancestors must’ve loved magnolia trees. They seem to be in abundance around here.” He almost ran off the road and I sat up straight looking back at the road behind us to see what had caused him to swerve so violently.
“There was someone once.” He stared straight ahead and I looked back at the baby to make sure she hadn’t been disturbed. She was too busy playing with her toes.
I soon got lost in the passing scenery and the feel of my hand in his once he reached for it. It felt like we were driving for hours when he pulled down a dirt track and slowed to a crawl.
There was a burnt out shell of an old abandoned home up ahead and as I watched, a bird flew over, crying out loud.
I felt a chill run down my spine as my eyes focused on the remains of the small house and a feeling like smoke filling my lungs gripped me.
“Breathe!” I looked into his eyes as the world came back into focus.
“What… what happened?” He’d stopped the Rover and was turned towards me his hands rubbing mine soothingly.
The baby had started wailing in the background and that bird, a raven, was now perched on one of the only standing posts of the home, staring at us.
“You were having a panic attack.” I squinted at him like he was speaking a foreign language. I’ve never had one of those before. No, that’s not quite true. I had one after the accident but…
“Oh, sorry, let me get her.” I started to climb out but he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll get her.” He climbed out and went around to lift the baby out before helping me down.
“What is this place?” I looked around, ignoring the bird that seemed to be listening to us. As soon as my feet touched the ground I’d felt it. That feeling like I’d been here before.
I wanted to ask him. To share some of the craziness that had been going on inside my head. But how do you start that conversation?
I hadn’t been able to talk to my mom and best friend about it, furthermore someone I barely knew. He’d probably think I was nuts.
“I used to spend a lot of time here. This was the home of my family’s caretaker and his family. It’s been that way since the first McCormick settled here.”
There was a wistfulness in his voice, a sadness almost. He pulled me in until my head rested on his shoulder and the bird started up its cry again before flying off.
The place had a feel of both restfulness and angst about it. Almost as if something was festering beneath the surface. And yet I felt serene as we stood there taking it in.
I followed along as he walked towards the ruins and around it. There were more wild flowers and another magnolia tree, both seemingly untouched by time.
He walked to the tree, my hand still held in his. There were some markings carved into the trunk, a bit faded with time. But it was still easy to make out a heart with initials carved in the center.
I squinted to see and could barely make out the C above and the N below. In that moment I didn’t make any connection between the two of us, but something about the markings made me feel…something.
I stared at it for a long time as my mind went back to the earlier vision of the kiss beneath the magnolia tree. Again tears filled my eyes and a feeling of such deep melancholy assailed me I almost stumbled.
He dropped my hand and put his arm around me pulling me in even closer. “Why does it feel so sad here?” I whispered the words as if afraid to disturb the quiet.
Once again he didn’t answer with words, but the kiss he placed on my temple was just as comforting.
We walked around some more and that feeling soon lifted the deeper we went into the surrounding field. I could tell that this was once a happy place, the feeling still lingered.
“We should head back. I think she needs a change.”
“Forgive me, I didn’t even think to pack any nappies for her. And you’ve been carrying her all morning…”
I reached for the baby but he took my hand instead. “It’s your day off, I can carry her.”
“It doesn’t matter that it’s my day off. Pass the baby, baby hog.”
He gave me a startled look before breaking into laughter and passing the drooling baby over. It’s true it was my day off. But I’d discussed staying here unless I needed to run into town for something when I went for the interview.
I had no intentions on doing that though. Back then I’d thought I would just stay in my room and read on those days, but now there were much better prospects.
He seemed pleased that I was willing to help out even on my day off, but I didn’t make a big deal out of it.
I felt just a little bit guilty about the fact that it was the father I wanted to stay close to. But spending time with little Isabelle was no hardship either.
When we got back to the house there was a strange car in the driveway and a woman came bounding down the steps as soon as the Rover came to a stop.
She smiled and called out to Callan who
jumped out of the truck just as excited as she was and I felt a slight pang in my chest. He opened my door and helped me down before getting the baby.
I looked around to find the new arrival staring at me open mouthed as if she’d seen a ghost. “Callan, she’s…” Whatever she was about to say was cut short when he interrupted.
“This is Noelle, Isabelle’s nanny. Noelle my sister Priscilla.” Her hand was limp in mine when she took it and her eyes went back and forth between her brother and I.
“Welcome Noelle!” The words sounded strange but I smiled in acceptance. I also pretended not to see the strange look that passed between the siblings over my head.
Noelle
Trudy took one look at Priscilla and disappeared, curious indeed. While Priscilla stared at me the whole time she was here until her brother had to warn her to quit it.
I disappeared into the kitchen with Ella who unlike me never seemed to have a day off while the baby took her nap upstairs. “Ella, is there something on my face?”
She looked and shook her head no. “Why do you ask?”
“Priscilla keeps staring at me.” She stopped stirring for a second before starting up again.
“It’s because of your pretty face that’s all. Don’t take it to heart she’s a very sweet girl if a bit scatterbrained at times.”
She went on to tell me the girl’s whole history. I was surprised to learn that she was only a few years older than I but had already been married two years. She lived in the city with her husband but was a regular here since she and her brother were very close.
It was obvious that Ella loved the whole family the way she goes on and on about them when given the chance. And I sat there greedily eating up every word. Especially the stories about Callan when he was younger.
“Why do you never talk about his wife or the time he was married?” Or Trudy? I didn’t say the last out loud because I already knew the answer.
“When the time is right Master Callan will tell you all you need to know.”
“Why do you call him master? He wouldn’t even let me call him mister.”
“Just habit I guess. I’ve called him that since the day he was born.”
“Now if you’re done interrogating me, come stir these pecans. I’m making your favorite pecan pie.” When did I tell her that that was my favorite? I couldn’t recall, but I probably had during one of our gabfests.
Priscilla came in to say goodbye not long after and again she gave me that strange look. She opened her mouth as if to say something but Ella interrupted her before she could.
“When are you going to give me a baby to bounce on my knee? Just flitting around the place with those heathen friends of yours down in Atlanta.”
She sniffed and the younger woman walked into the room and wrapped her arms around her. “I’m young yet Ms. Ella. And besides, you’ve got Isabelle to keep you busy.”
“I’m off now. It was nice meeting you Noelle, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again.” I returned her sentiment just as Callan entered the room with the baby.
The siblings said one last goodbye before he placed the baby in her chair and got the strained beans Ella had prepared.
“I’m making pecan pie, make yourself useful and get out the ice cream maker. Some homemade vanilla would go nicely don’t you think?”
She addressed this to Callan who for some reason looked at me before leaving the room to do as he was told. “Yes ma’am!” He left the way he came.
Now I was really beginning to wonder just when it was that I’d told those two of my fondness for pecan pie with homemade ice cream.
I played with the baby while she ate and the pies baked in the oven, adding a nice homey scent to the atmosphere.
Callan spent the next few hours outdoors making ice cream and it was only then I realized he was using an old fashion maker and not one of the electrical ones from the store. I would’ve objected but after dinner that night, and dessert was served I was very appreciative of his efforts.
“It’s not the best but it’s the best I can do.”
“What’re you talking about? I did everything but lick the plate.” I patted my tummy and leaned back while he laughed. I did appreciate him not scolding me for eating too much.
“Let’s take a stroll around the garden, you can walk it off.” He reached for my hand and helped me up from the table and I noticed not for the first time, his old world manners, and my appreciation for them.
His mannerisms put me at ease and that’s part of the reason why it’s been so easy to slip into this thing with him, whatever it is.
Like the way he held my hand as we walked towards the door. The way he put his arm around me as we made our way down the stone steps outside before taking my hand again.
When he said stroll he really meant it. We crawled our way around the fragrant garden as the half moon and blanket of stars gave the only light.
The garden is another one of those places that make me feel sentimental. The old stone benches amidst the many colorful blossoms always seemed to be inviting one to sit and enjoy no matter what time of day or night.
I wasn’t surprised when he led me to one to sit. I laughed when he took the monitor from his pocket and placed it next to his side. “You’re such a good daddy.”
“Are you making fun of me?” He wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me down to his chest. I like the way he kisses my hair, so naturally loving. The gesture always touches my heart.
“Look up at the sky Noelle.” I rested my head on his shoulder and we gazed at the stars together.
As usual when I was this close to him, my heart picked up its pace and the beauty of the night only added to the feeling of romantic bliss.
I really don’t like making comparisons, but it’s hard not to. I can’t explain my ease and comfort with him, when the boy I’d been destined to marry had only left me cold.
Being with him like this, and every time we’ve been together these last few days, makes me question everything I once believed about myself.
Along with the fear of losing my virginity, I’d always had a kind of Victorian view when it came to relationships. I was never one to rush into anything.
Yet the more time I spend with Callan, the easier it is for me to imagine taking that step with him. I’ve given myself a thousand reasons why that should be. One of them being the fact that he’s ten years older and way more experienced than I am.
I’ve even played around with the idea that I’m on the rebound and this was my way of moving on from my past. Kind of like he’s a stepping stone on the way to my future.
But deep down I know that’s not true. I know even though it’s only been a few days, that there’s something growing between us that I have no control over.
“What are you thinking about so hard love? I brought you out here to relax and enjoy the night.” His fingers moved into my hair and he massaged my scalp tenderly.
Before I knew it I was purring like a well-fed kitten and all but rubbing myself against him. My head was limp on my neck when he pulled it back far enough for his lips to reach mine. It was the sweetest kiss. Petal soft, like butterfly wings. Until it wasn’t.
He lifted me onto his lap, his arms like bands of steel around me holding me close as he sealed our lips together. Sometimes when he kisses me, like now. It’s as if he’s kissing an old lover.
I don’t know how to explain it, but his kisses, his touch, doesn’t seem new. He kisses me like he owns me. I don’t know if there’s anything sexier than that.
Because of my dreams my body always gets ahead of me when he puts his hands on me. Like knowing the best parts of a favorite book, but no matter how often you’ve read it, your heart still races and your excitement grows as you turn the page.
Since I’m the one who always gets carried away, and he’s the one who pulls back, I was hoping as I always do, that this time he’d go just a little bit farther. That he wouldn’t stop just when I needed more.
He rubbed
his thumb teasingly along the side of my aching breast and I pushed against his hand telling him without words that I wanted more.
He deepened our kiss and it was impossible to get any closer to him. His arms, why does being in his arms always make me feel like a woman? Like the most desirable woman in the world.
It wasn’t long before I got caught up, lost, and my mind travelled like it always do. I saw fleeting visions in my head. All of different times and places with one recurring theme. Us!
Always it was he and I wrapped in an embrace, never far from each other. I don’t know what they mean, and in that moment didn’t care.
All that mattered was the feel of his arms around me, his lips hungrily covering mine. All that mattered was that he never stopped.
Tonight the fever burned hotter as my aching need grew. I moaned into his mouth and tasted his answering sigh as his tongue licked deeper into my mouth.
I felt his cock getting harder beneath me and moved against it helplessly. I thought my heart would burst at the emotions that took flight inside.
I wanted to tell him that if he stopped this time before putting out the fiery ache between my thighs that I just might die of want. But my mouth was too full of him and I didn’t want the kiss to end.
Tears pricked behind my closed lids as the sweetest feeling came over me. It was almost as if I knew that tonight would be different. That tonight he wouldn’t leave me with this awful need.
It didn’t help that in my mind I saw us in his bed. He was looking down at me as he slid in and out of me. I could almost feel it as if it were real. Could feel the pressure of his hard chest pressed against the sensitive tips of my nipples.
The more my mind worked the more forceful I became, until I was the one leading the kiss. As if I had the control finally and could decide. I’d already made up my mind.
Tonight I wanted to see where this beautiful passion led. I wanted it all. It didn’t matter that we’d only known each other a short while. Didn’t matter that he never offered words of love.
Babysitter’s Club Noelle Page 7