"What's stray logs?" Sarah's eyes were fixed directly in front of her, as if she believed the fate of the passengers and boat were truly in her hands.
Anna explained about the logs, occasionally helping Sarah to turn to the right or the left. "Do you like driving the boat?"
Sarah nodded.
"You're doing a good job." She glanced back at Lauren. "Did you know that Sarah's the captain now?"
Lauren blew a puff of smoke, which floated over the top of her head, then made what seemed a tolerant smile as she gazed out over the water. Something about Lauren, besides her exterior, seemed altered. Anna couldn't put her finger on what it was exactly, but there was a new hardness about her daughter, as if Lauren had slipped herself into a thick protective shell. The question was why?
22
Sarah continued to warm up to Anna in the following days. Lauren, on the other hand, seemed to grow more and more chilly and detached. The outfits she wore, in Anna's opinion, made her seem that she was on some sort of manhunt. Every item of Lauren's clothing looked either too tight, too skimpy, too flashy, or all three. This, combined with her platinum blond hair, coppery tan, which must've come from hours spent lying beside Eunice's pool, and pale pink lipstick hardly gave the impression of someone who was a wife and mother. Still, it wasn't Lauren's appearance that concerned Anna most.
The most disturbing thing about Lauren was the way she interacted—or rather, didn't—with her daughter. Sarah didn't really seem to notice how her mother ignored her questions, talked over her, or even belittled her. But Anna found it hard to notice anything else.
"Do you miss your nanny?" Anna asked Sarah one morning as they went on a nature walk together.
"Uh-huh." Sarah squatted down to pick a buttercup.
"Do you miss Great-grandmother too?" Anna asked cautiously.
"Uh-huh." Sarah picked another buttercup.
To Anna's surprise, she felt relieved to hear this. It seemed a good sign that Sarah missed Eunice. "What kinds of things do you do with Great-grandmother?"
"We go to the library."
"Really?" Anna tried not to sound shocked.
"She takes me to story hour."
"Well, that's very nice of her. Do you like to read books?"
"I know my letters and numbers, but I can't read yet."
"Because you're still just four years old."
"I'm almost five."
"Yes. So do you like it when someone reads you picture books?"
"Yeah." She nodded eagerly.
"Does your mother read books to you too?"
"Mama doesn't like my books. She reads her own books."
"How about Great-grandmother, does she like to read your books?"
"Sometimes. If she's not too busy."
"How about your daddy?" Again, Anna felt cautious. Based on what Lauren had said, which wasn't much, Donald was not much of a father. Still, she was curious. Just what was Sarah's home life really like?
"Daddy likes my books . . . sometimes. If he's not busy. He likes Dr. Seuss books the best."
"That's nice. What else does your daddy like to do with you?"
"We play in the swimming pool sometimes."
"Can you swim?"
"Uh-huh." She knelt down to look at a caterpillar now.
Anna knelt, too, telling Sarah a little about the caterpillar before it crawled away. They stood, continuing to walk down the trail that ran alongside the river. "That's wonderful that you're learning to swim." Now Anna told Sarah about how her father made her prove that she could swim before she could use her canoe.
"Can I use the canoe too?"
"When you get older. I was a lot older than you before I could use it."
Sarah scowled, folding her arms across her chest exactly how Lauren used to do . . . and sometimes still did.
"Have you ever gone fishing?" Anna asked to distract her from her disappointment. When Sarah said no, but sounded interested, Anna promised to take her fishing in the afternoon. She wasn't sure if Sarah was too little to enjoy it, but she figured it would be worth the try and perhaps Clark or Marshall would want to come along with them.
By the fourth day on the river, Lauren asked Anna if Sarah could sleep in the house instead of the cabin. "She wakes up so early," Lauren complained. "And I've been completely exhausted lately. I think all the chaos back home took a toll on me. Do you think Sarah could spend a night or two in the house with you until I catch up?"
"Sure, she can have the room next to us."
"Thanks. I worry that she might wander off while I'm still asleep and get eaten by a wolf or fall into the river." Lauren laughed like this was funny.
"Well, we don't have wolves here, but I suppose she might fall into the river." Anna frowned. "Does Sarah actually leave the cabin while you're still sleeping?"
Lauren shrugged. "Yeah."
"Oh . . ." Anna glanced over to where Sarah was swinging with a couple of older girls on the playground. She looked so happy . . . and childlike. "It sounds like Sarah misses having her nanny, Lauren. Have you noticed?"
Lauren tightened the lid back on the fingernail polish that she'd been using to paint her nails. It was the same color as her lipstick, a strange shade of whitish-pink that was, in Anna's opinion, anemic-looking. Not that Lauren had ever asked Anna for fashion advice. "Well, I don't think Sarah misses her nearly as much as I do." Lauren sighed as she reached for her sequin-covered cigarette case, then in one fluid motion, shook out a cigarette, lit it, slipped it in her mouth, and pulled in a long, slow drag with narrowed eyes. "I think I got a raw deal on that trade with Grandmother. My house gets torn to pieces and no more nanny."
Anna slowly inhaled, holding in her words, and wondering what it would feel like to take up smoking. Lauren claimed it soothed her frazzled nerves. Although what Lauren had to be frazzled over was a complete mystery to Anna. She let out the breath now, realizing that she'd much rather have fresh river air in her lungs than smelly smoke. "Sarah seems to enjoy the other children." Anna nodded toward the playground.
"Yeah." Lauren reached for her sunglasses, which were perched on top of her bleached hair. She slipped them on then looked out toward the water. "There are no kids in our neighborhood."
"Have you considered enrolling Sarah in kindergarten this fall? Some of the churches in town used to have good programs."
Lauren turned and looked at Anna. "That is a very good idea, Mom." Now she frowned. "But do you think it's terribly expensive?"
"I doubt it's too costly, but if finances are a problem, I'd be happy to help—"
"No, no . . . finances are not a problem. It's just that Donald always claims I waste too much money. All I do is buy clothes and little things." She shook her head. "If that skinflint had his way, I'd probably be forced to run around half naked."
Anna glanced at Lauren's very short shorts and the sleeveless blouse tied around her midriff to make it even skimpier. It seemed to her that Lauren was half naked right now. However, she suspected those kinds of clothes had not come cheap. Eunice had catered to Lauren's expensive taste in clothes and everything else for as long as Anna could remember.
Sarah was happy to relocate to a bedroom in the house, but it seemed that once that happened, Lauren decided to give up on any attempts of mothering whatsoever. Anna didn't mind having Sarah with her throughout the day. In fact, she loved it. The more time she spent with the little girl, the more she realized that Sarah was truly an old soul. The ways she could understand things, her grasp of language, and her ability to read people was almost uncanny. As incongruous as it seemed, Sarah sometimes reminded Anna of her grandmother. Even Hazel had mentioned that Sarah seemed to have an amazing connection to her ancestors.
"Can I wear this?" Sarah pointed to an old beaded leather cape that was framed on the wall as decoration. Her grandmother had made it long ago, back when she was just returning to the "old way" and Anna was about Sarah's age.
"Your great-great-grandmother made that, Sarah."
Anna wasn't even surprised that Sarah remembered this. Already Anna had told Sarah much about Grandma Pearl, about her little cabin, the canoe, and the baskets she wove. Sarah seemed to take these stories in stride, as if it were perfectly normal to be part Siuslaw Indian, as if she'd known it all along.
"The cape is very old and it's very, very special." Anna looked more closely at the beadwork, a pattern with roses and leaves. "When you are old enough, yes, I will let you wear it."
"How old?"
Anna studied Sarah. "I think ten years old, Sarah. Can you wait that long?"
With a serious expression, Sarah nodded. "Is ten years old big enough to go out in River Dove too?"
"Yes." Anna ran her hand over Sarah's silky hair. "Ten is big enough. As long as you keep working at your swimming at your house."
Sarah promised to do that.
When Anna needed time to see to the demands of the inn, she found willing babysitters in Jill and Joanna. Both girls got along wonderfully with Sarah and never complained about having to help out. And both Clark and Marshall enjoyed the company of the little girl too. Sarah loved watching Clark "fix stuff." And she was slightly starstruck by Marshall. Truly, it seemed Sarah was in her element here. Or as Hazel liked to say, she was "happy as a clam."
Of course, while everyone else was enjoying Sarah, Anna couldn't help but wonder what Lauren was doing to occupy herself, that is besides sleeping. She usually emerged from her cabin in time for lunch. After that she'd lounge in the sun, if weather permitted, or else disappear back into her cabin. However, her absences did simplify things. And Anna hoped that perhaps this little vacation would refresh her enough to happily return to her household and parenting responsibilities. However, Anna was in no hurry to see them leave.
Just two days before Sarah's birthday, and after Anna had sent out invitations and gotten all the preparations for a big party planned, Ardelle called. "I must speak to my daughter-in-law," she said sharply. "Immediately!"
"Is something wrong?" Anna asked.
"Well, I suppose that depends on how you define wrong. Let me see . . . is it wrong for a wife to take her child and desert her husband?"
"Lauren hasn't deserted Donald. She simply came here for a little vacation."
"That selfish girl takes off, telling no one, leaving poor Donald in the lurch. He gets stuck with all the mess of that ridiculous remodel to deal with. How does Lauren expect that Donald can fend for himself, cook his own meals, do his own laundry, and still go to work and earn a living?"
"Isn't Mabel there to help cook and clean?"
"Eunice let Mabel go the same day that Lauren left. She said it was a waste to pay Mabel when the house was in such an upheaval."
"Oh, dear. I suppose that is hard on Donald."
"I'll say it's hard. And I've been trying to help out, but I'll tell you, Anna, I am fed up. Fed up to here!"
"I didn't realize—"
"No, I didn't expect you did. I know that you work hard, Anna. You always have. But that daughter of yours is the laziest thing I have ever seen. Then she up and does something like this. In the first place, there was nothing whatsoever wrong with Eunice's house. Those white kitchen appliances may have been a little out of style, but they were top of the line and worked just fine. Besides, it wasn't as if Lauren ever spent a minute of time in that kitchen to start with. And it's not likely she will now that it's nearly done—and all that avocado green—good grief, what on earth was she thinking? And I suppose she told you that they had to let the nanny go too."
"She mentioned that."
"Lauren practically ignores poor Sarah as it is. I don't know what that child will do now that she has no nanny to help pass her time."
"I suggested that Lauren put Sarah in kindergarten."
"Yes, that's probably a good idea. So, tell me, Anna, when is Lauren coming home, if I may ask?"
"I hoped they'd be around a few more days." Anna explained about the plans for the birthday party.
"Well, that's just fine and dandy. Here Eunice and I had planned a big party for Sarah too. It was to be at my house since theirs isn't quite finished yet, although it's very close. The carpet is all that's left and I heard the installation could be finished by tomorrow, a week later than we'd been promised. Even so, no one told me that Lauren and Sarah wouldn't be back in time for the birthday party. Eunice was certain they'd be back." She paused to catch her breath. "Where, may I ask, is Lauren? Is she unable to come to the phone now? Oh, let me guess, she's still sleeping."
Anna looked at the clock. It was just past ten, but Lauren probably hadn't gotten up yet. Of course, she wasn't about to admit this to Ardelle. "How about if I get her and have her call you back? She's staying in one of the cabins and it's a bit of a walk."
"Don't tell me you don't have extensions in the cabins yet?"
"I promise you that Lauren will return your call within the hour, Ardelle."
"Fine. Make sure she does!" Now the line went dead and Anna let out a sigh. She could understand Ardelle's frustration, but whatever happened to common courtesy? Perhaps it was getting less and less common.
"Is Grandma Ardelle mad at Mommy?"
Anna turned, surprised to see that Sarah was there. "I thought you were helping Jill in the garden."
"I had to use the bathroom."
"Oh . . ."
"Is Mommy in trouble?"
Anna smiled. "No, but your other grandmother would like to speak to her."
"Want me to go get her?"
Anna imagined Sarah waking up a grumpy Lauren. "No . . . I want you to go back and help Jill in the garden. Do you mind?"
"I like the garden."
"So do I. How are the cucumbers doing?" She walked Sarah to the door.
"We already picked six of them."
"Oh, good." At the foot of the stairs, Anna leaned over and kissed the top of Sarah's head. "You are truly a treasure."
Sarah giggled. "Like a pearl?" Hazel had told the pearl story by the campfire last night. Obviously, Sarah had been listening.
"Yes, like a pearl. Even better." They parted ways, and as Anna strode toward the cabins, she braced herself for the conversation she was about to have with her daughter. However, she did not brace herself for what she would see when she opened the door. Not only was the cabin thoroughly trashed, there were empty vodka bottles here and there and it reeked with the smell of stale cigarette smoke, dirty clothes, and filth.
"Lauren!" Anna shouted as she jerked the covers from the bed. "Get up!"
"Wha—what?" Lauren sat up with blurry-looking eyes. "What's going on?"
Anna pointed to the cabin. "What have you done?"
Lauren just shrugged, pulling the blankets up to cover a black lacy nightie that looked like something from a sleazy B movie.
"I do not want to get angry at you, but I'm not sure I can control myself any longer." Anna took a quick breath. "I am so ashamed of you. Ashamed to be your mother. You are like a stranger to me. I do not know why you are the way you are, Lauren, but I feel disgusted by you. Thoroughly disgusted." With one hand she picked up an empty vodka bottle, with the other she grabbed a trashy looking paperback, waving them in front of Lauren. "You are filling yourself with garbage and filth! Is it no wonder you are unable to function like a healthy human being?"
"Don't be such a prude, Mother."
"You neglect your daughter. You deserted your husband—"
"I did not desert him!"
"You didn't tell him you were going, Lauren. You left him in a huge mess. He has to do his own cooking and cleaning and—"
"He has Mabel!" Lauren narrowed her eyes, but the smudges of heavy makeup ringed them like an angry raccoon.
"He does not have Mabel. Eunice let her go."
"What?" Lauren dropped her blanket, grabbing for her cigarettes. "How dare she!"
"How dare she?" Anna stared at this pitiful excuse of a woman. "How dare you, Lauren? How dare you live li
ke the world owes you a living? How dare you neglect and ignore your precious daughter? How dare you take advantage of my generosity? How dare you use everyone you can, whether it's me or Clark or Donald or Ardelle or even Eunice? And how dare you come to my inn and turn a perfectly lovely little cabin into a pigsty?" She tossed the book and bottle onto the bed. "I want this place cleaned up, Lauren. You put it back together just the way it was when you arrived here. And I want you to clean yourself up too. Do not come out of this cabin until you look like a decent young woman—like a wife and a mother ought to look. And then, and only then, you will use the telephone to call your mother-in-law and you will apologize to her for all your lazy selfishness!" Anna's hands were shaking as she reached for the door. "Then I will arrange for someone to take you back down the river."
Anna felt sick as she closed the door. Her knees were weak and her stomach was churning. She hated herself for losing her temper like that. But she hated Lauren even more. With clenched fists, she walked over to the edge of the river and just looked out over it, attempting to breathe deeply . . . and to calm herself.
"Is something wrong?" Clark stepped next to her, peering at her with concern.
"Oh, Clark." She turned to him with tears running down her cheeks. Then as he wrapped an arm around her, he guided her to a private place behind a tree where, like a broken dam, she let the sad, horrible story rush out of her. "The truth is, I wouldn't care nearly so much," she sobbed, "if it were only Lauren I was throwing out of here—but Sarah—Clark, what about Sarah?"
"Sarah is a resilient child. And she knows you love her, Anna. She will be all right. You have to believe that. You have to let it go."
Anna nodded, wiping her eyes on the fresh-smelling bandana handkerchief he supplied to her. Still, she knew that she would need to repair this rift between Lauren and her. She would have to apologize. And hopefully Lauren wouldn't hold a grudge for too long. She would hold a grudge, Anna had no doubts of that, but maybe in time, she would get over it.
River's Call Page 18