by Loree Lough
He walked toward the foyer. “You have my cell number,” he said. “When I get to the office in the morning, I’ll make some calls, find a good oncologist for Dad.” He stood on the porch, one hand on the doorknob to add, “I’ll call you soon as I’ve scheduled an appointment.” The lock slipped into place with a quiet click as he added to his list: God’s work was more important, even, than finding out why you’d been coughing up blood for years.
As he drove toward the Misty Wolf, he wondered how many times had they chanted “your body is His temple” lectures? Too many to count! The fact that they so rarely practiced the Word they claimed to love made them far more than incompetent parents—it labeled them blatant hypocrites, too.
Maybe he’d been lying to himself all these years, and his drive and determination to provide a better life for Margo and himself was nothing more than a different brand of hypocrisy. Calling it “protection” or “preparation for the future” didn’t change what it was; the idea that his own self-righteousness might have played a part in her decision to end her life awoke guilt and self-loathing like he’d never known.
He gave a mental thumbs-up to Margo for seeing through his façade. Her decision to kill herself had been sick and selfish, but putting Eli in Taylor’s loving care had been anything but.
Reece might have turned around, to bask in Taylor’s one-of-a-kind care right now. He knew that she deserved better, far better than the likes of him, and still he wanted her in his life. Saul had been a vile, despicable man before his conversion, so maybe there was hope for him, too. The concept made him grateful that his stubborn pride kept him from admitting how he felt about her before now, because knowing Taylor, she’d have accepted him as-is.
A glimmer of hope sparked in his soul: tonight, after Eli went to bed, he’d bare his soul. If she still wanted him after hearing what a low-down miserable cur he’d been … if he could make her believe he’d become the man she deserved.
He parked the Spider in its usual place, and as he climbed the front porch steps he prayed, really prayed for the first time in years:
Her life is in Your hands, Lord.
18
This is perfect,” Taylor said when he handed her the shirt. “I’ve always loved the feel of chamois against my skin.” As if to prove it, she pressed her cheek into it. “I’ll be sure to put it close to the hem, so he can get the full benefits of its suppleness.”
“If I’d known it was that,” he teased, “I probably wouldn’t have worn it fishing.”
She hooked her arm through his and led him into the kitchen.
“Where is everybody?”
“The guests are shopping in Blacksburg, and Eli took Jimmy riding.”
“Jimmy,” he echoed. “When did he roll in?”
“About an hour ago.” She hung his shirt on the wooden peg beside her apron. “The man is insane,” she added, grabbing the apron. “Did a show in Roanoke that lasted until ten, then drove straight here.”
Poor baby, he thought. “He’s a big strong boy. Besides, it’s not a long drive, especially in weather like this.”
“I know. But it surprised me that he put the new guy in charge of the equipment. Pete is the only one he’d ever trusted with that job.”
He helped himself to a cookie. “Wonder what changed?” He’d been serious about turning over a new leaf. What better way to test it than by feigning interest in poor Jimmy’s problems?
“Pete’s wife just had a baby, and there were complications so he’s taking some time off.”
“With the wife, or the baby?”
“The baby. Anita refused that prenatal test they do to check for Down Syndrome.”
“I’m sure they’ll figure out it isn’t all bad. These days, kids with Down’s can live long, perfectly normal lives. Two of my patients have it, and they’re doin’ great. If Pete needs any referrals—to specialists or support groups in their area—let me know.”
She sent him a crooked little smile. “I’ll tell him.”
“So did Isaac and Tootie go into town, too?”
“No, they’re still at church.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Just between you and me, I don’t think it’ll be long before that man pops the question.”
Won’t be long before I do the same.
The phone rang, and while she chatted with the person on the other end, he poured himself a glass of iced tea. There was a pitcher just like this one in the fridge at Margo’s, only that one held lemonade. He’d seen a tray of brownies on the counter, and the whole place had looked terrific. A decent guy would stop on the way home for gift cards to thank Maureen and Gina for their hard work, if his me-oriented brain didn’t forget.
Taylor kept pens and tablets in the drawer under the phone, so he put his hands on her hips, thinking to move her aside without interrupting the phone conversation. No big deal. Just whisper “excuse me” and fetch the writing materials, and get busy scribbling a note.
That might have been true … if she hadn’t leaned into him, making an odd little purring sound. Step away from the girl, he told himself. Step. Away. From the girl, before you do something stupid. Like bury his face in her soft curls, or press a kiss to her cheek and mess up the timing of the speech he intended to make, first chance he got.
She’d barely hung up when Eli and Jimmy joined them. “I didn’t expect to see you two for another hour yet!”
“My bum hurts,” Eli said, rubbing his backside. “Elsie is one bouncy horse!” Then he ran up to Reece, who scooped him into his arms.
Jimmy stood beside Taylor at the stove. “Something smells good,” he said, leaning over the pot. “What’s cookin’?”
“I know what it i-i-is, I know what it i-i-is,” Eli sang. Then he cupped both hands around Reece’s ear and whispered “It’s your favorite. Mine too.”
Spaghetti and meatballs with her one-of-a-kind sauce.
But he played along with the game. “Deep-fried giraffe?”
Eli giggled. “No!”
“Baked spiders?”
“Yuck!”
“Then it must be steamed earthworms.”
“Oh, gross!”
“Sorry, buddy, I’m clean out of ideas.”
“Eli,” Taylor said, “how ’bout washing up so you can set the table?”
Reece put him down and he ran straight for the powder room. “I can set the table if you like.”
She emptied a box of pasta into boiling water. “I’m sure Eli would love it if you gave him a hand. You know where everything is,” she said, stirring it.
Take that Jimmy Jacobs. On second thought, that’s what the old Reece would have said. He smiled—or the closest thing he could muster, anyway—and washed his hands at the kitchen sink. “I’ll set out the glasses if you’ll fill ‘em with ice and water.”
“Thanks, but I think I’d rather stay right here and keep the cook company.”
Was it his imagination, or had the comment made Taylor blush? Nah … probably just the steam from the spaghetti pot.
His cell phone chirped, and he tossed the towel aside to answer it: one of his patients had spiked a fever, and the nurse added, the antibiotic had given the kid an itchy rash. “Give him a low dose of Benadryl,” he said, “and speed up the glucose drip.” He checked his watch. “I’ll be there in thirty.”
When he turned to let her know he couldn’t stay, Taylor nodded. “Go, and be careful driving. If you’re not too pooped after you take care of things, feel free to come back. I’ll save you a plate.”
Man, but she was gorgeous, especially at times like this, when she got all caring and thoughtful. And with her cheeks all pink and dewy from standing over the hot pots. If Jimmy wasn’t standing there, thumbs tucked behind a belt buckle almost as big as his head, Reece might have hugged her.
“If it isn’t too late, I might just take you up on that.” He stooped to kiss the top of Eli’s head. “Sorry, kiddo, gotta run.”
“Sick kid, huh?” he asked.
“Yeah, �
�fraid so.”
“Well, he’s lucky,” Eli said, beaming up at him, “that you’re his doctor.”
He carried the compliment with him all the way to the pediatric ward, and as he made his way to Seth Carter’s room, he thought about what Eli had said—that Taylor made the meal because it was his favorite. Correction, he thought, grinning, our favorite.
Evening was Taylor’s favorite time of day.
With the dishes done, her guests in their rooms, and Eli fast asleep, she was free to carry the quilt onto the front porch and sew by the glow of lamplight filtering through the parlor window behind her. Jimmy’s soft voice and guitar music sighed through the screen.
Yesterday, she’d found the mate to that old satin glove, so first order of business tonight … replace the missing button. What she’d do with them now, Taylor didn’t know. Thankfully, no one could read her mind, because she felt a little silly, taking such satisfaction from knowing they’d been reunited after so many years apart.
With the gloves wrapped in white tissue and tucked into her basket, she picked up the shirt Reece had brought by earlier. It was soft and lightweight and the color of the sky just after a hard rain. She held it to her cheek and drank in its musky scent.
“Ninny,” she muttered, putting it back into the basket. She was nowhere near ready to add a piece of it to the quilt, but even when she was, it seemed a shame to cut it up.
“Ridiculous,” she whispered, tucking it deeper, so that she didn’t have to look at it. Because she hadn’t thought twice about taking the scissors to Margo’s wedding gown, Eliot’s Marine-green T-shirt, or any of the other clothing confiscated from old boxes and bins. Much longer in those containers, she’d told herself, and they’d be too threadbare to be of use, even as dusting cloths. So why had one well-worn fishing shirt taken on such importance?
The singing and strumming stopped, and she heard the familiar plink as Jimmy slid his guitar pick under the tightly wound strings wrapped around the tuning keys. Hopefully, he’d head straight up to bed.
But who was she kidding? He’d feel obliged to step outside, at least long enough to tell her goodnight. “If you’re lucky …”
“Talking to yourself again, I see.”
She heard the grin in his voice and matched it with one of her own. “Only way I know to guarantee at least one person is listening.”
He chuckled, then said, “I was just about to pour myself a glass of iced tea. Can I get one for you?”
“Are you kidding? I don’t get enough sleep as it is. One sip of that stuff and I’ll be up all night, prowling around the house.”
“Funny. Caffeine never affected me that way.”
It hadn’t affected Mark either. The man could guzzle a huge mug of the stuff, put his mug on the nightstand, and fall straight to sleep.
“Men,” she said, mostly to herself.
“Aw, we’re not all bad.”
She knew that better than most women. Her grandfathers had both been stand-up guys, and her dad had been her best guy … until Mark came along. She didn’t think it possible to meet anyone else who’d make her feel like he did, until—
“Lemonade, then. Or will the sugar keep you up?”
“I’m not really thirsty.” She wouldn’t have admitted it if she had been, because then he’d feel duty-bound to sit with her while she sipped it. The quiet was one of the reasons she so enjoyed the hours after supper.
“How would you feel about taking a walk with me?”
“A walk? Where?” But the better question was why.
“Just down to the barn.” He produced an apple from behind his back. “Thought I’d split it three ways and give those mules of yours a little treat.”
“They behave perfectly when I ride them,” she said with a deliberately haughty air.
“C’mere,” he said, extending his free hand.
C’mere. It’s what Reece had said when Eli and Randy were so close to death, right before he—
“We won’t stay down there long. I promise.”
She’d been sitting in one position long enough that the walk would probably feel good. Setting aside the quilt, she grabbed the baby monitor and joined him.
While he carved the apple and fed it, bit by bit to the horses, he chatted about his next job, told her his agent was working on getting him a movie deal, then started listing the challenges Pete’s family faced with this new addition to the family. “They don’t know it yet, but I paid off their mortgage and set up a hospital fund for the kid. That way, when the insurance runs out, they won’t have to tap into their savings.”
“Wow, Jimmy, that’s really sweet. And generous.”
The apple was gone now, but he still had the horses’ full attention. Elsie nosed his elbow where it rested on her stall gate.
“You could at least pretend not to sound so surprised,” he said, stroking the mare’s nose. “I think about other people now and then.”
“I know that better than most.”
Evidently, the simple statement reminded him, too, of those dark, sad days after Mark died, because he reached out and tucked a curl behind her ear.
“Only too happy to be there for you, Taylor.”
“We should probably head back,” she said, shaking the monitor. “I haven’t heard a peep from this thing since we left the porch.”
He took her hand and led her down the flagstone path that connected the house to the barn. “So you doin’ okay?” he asked.
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because in these last couple of years you’ve gone through more tragedies and traumas than any ten people I could name.”
Please God, don’t let him list them. Because on a night like this, with storm clouds hiding the moon and this melancholy ache of missing Reece beating in her heart, she might just start blubbering like a baby.
He ticked them off, one by one, starting with her mom and dad, and ending with Randy. Even as the tears filled her eyes, she felt like a little twit and did her best to blink them back. And darn that Jimmy! He took her in his arms!
“Bet you haven’t allowed yourself to cry at all, have you?”
Yes, she had … both times in Reece’s arms. She’d heard what he said that night in the kitchen, when Eli peppered him with questions about love and marriage and moving into the Misty Wolf. He’d been busy in the weeks that had passed, what with work and his parents coming home, weekends with Eli and his own place to take care of. But you’d think he could have found one minute to say those things to you … if he’d meant them.
“You aren’t Atlas, y’know. Nobody can stand up under all that without caving … a little bit.”
One of the horses whinnied … and she thought of Millie.
The monitor in her hand came suddenly to life, and she heard Eli’s sleepy murmurs, sighing through its speaker and remembered how close she’d come to losing him.
The scrap of cloth in her pocket, tucked there so she wouldn’t forget to put it into the sewing basket, made her aware of the important task she’d undertaken, to ensure Eli would never lose touch with the fabric of family.
An owl hooted—Mark’s favorite night sound. It was the last straw.
Taylor didn’t know how long her pathetic display of weakness lasted, but when it ended with one high-pitched hiccup, the sobs turn into snickers that must have been contagious, because soon, Jimmy was laughing, too.
“Sorry about that,” she said, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her T-shirt. “But really, you only have yourself to blame. You should know by now what can happen when you talk about all that stuff.”
“First of all,” he said, “you have nothing to be sorry for.”
It seemed to Taylor that he was memorizing every inch of her face, his gaze flicking from her eyebrows to her cheeks, then lingering for a second on her lips before meeting her eyes. Better change the subject, and fast, she thought.
“And second of all?”
One big knuckle lifted her chin. “Sec
ond of all,” he whispered, “this should have been first of all.”
And then he kissed her.
She broke free of his embrace, and fingertips pressed to her lips, took a step back. Everything Tootie had said about Jimmy—comments Taylor had shoved to the back of her mind—hurtled forward. Much as she hated to admit it, her friend had been right.
There was just enough moonlight for her to see his soft smile turn into a frown. The last thing she wanted was to hurt his feelings. But she couldn’t let him think there could ever be more between them than friendship.
A car door slammed and they both turned toward the sound.
Reece.
How much had he seen?
One look at his sad green eyes told her he’d seen everything. Would he have looked that way if he hadn’t meant those things he’d told Eli? She didn’t think so. But what a horrible, crazy, stupid way to find out!
“Just stopped by to let you know I can’t stay for supper,” he ground out, “so I hope you didn’t go to a lot of bother, saving me a plate.”
“It wasn’t any bother,” she blurted. “I can heat it up in no time.”
“No, no,” he was saying, head down and hands pocketed as he walked back toward the Spider. “Early day tomorrow. See you Friday when I pick up Eli.”
As he slid behind the wheel, Taylor wondered about God’s timing. Was this His way of letting her know that a future with Reece wasn’t in His plan?
Shoulders sagging, she trudged up the porch steps, with Jimmy at her heels. She couldn’t hold his feet to the fire for this, because if she’d paid more attention to Tootie’s advice, things never would have gone this far. Now Jimmy’s feelings were hurt and Reece’s ego was bruised, all because she’d been too wrapped up in …
Oh what did it matter what excuse she came up with? The bottom line was, yet again, she’d let someone down.
So that was Your plan, was it, Lord … to save Reece from the same thing?
What had he said that night in Eli’s hospital room? Think with your head, not your heart. Life being what it was, Reece would no doubt experience disappointment and disillusionment at some point down the road, but if she took his advice, he’d have a friend to turn to when it did.