She got a warm, fuzzy feeling. Could he really feel the same way she did? “The dancing?”
“Yes. I got to look at you. Up close.” He leaned closer. “I’d like to do that again.”
“Oh, me too,” she breathed. “But how? Where?”
“Oh, I’m sure there are dance clubs in Grand Rapids. Maybe even in Holland. We’ll have to look it up. But I definitely want to dance with you again. And… more.”
“M-m-more?” I’ve got to be dreaming. He can’t be saying these things to me.
“More than dancing. Dinner, movies, walks in the park. I like being with you, Helen. I’d like to see where this goes.”
“Oh my.” It really was difficult to breathe, let alone think with those brilliant blue eyes boring into hers.
He sat back and she started to breathe again. “I’ll let you think about it on the bus ride home. But I’ll be knocking on your door. And calling you. And following you around at church.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “This is just the beginning. There’s a lot more coming. Get used to it.”
Breathing just got difficult again.
~~~~
Think about it on the way home, he’d said. Fortunately, her seatmate spent most of the trip sleeping, so that left her plenty of time to think.
Part of her voted against seeing more of Mike. He was younger, and people would talk. He’d soon lose interest. Besides, he had a home in Chicago. He’d go back there and forget all about her.
And then the other part of her would argue just as loudly. So what if he’s younger? If people talk, it will be because they’re jealous. And if he goes back to Chicago, at least you’ll have the memories. You haven’t had a good time in… a long time.
Would Joe approve? Was she being unfaithful to his memory?
Joe is gone. You’re here. You need to live your life. Go for it!
The conversation in her head went on and on until she wanted to scream. If only there was someone she could talk to about this. Someone who’d been in her shoes and could tell her what to expect.
No, Helen. You can’t do what others tell you to do. You have to do what you think is right.
The words echoed in her mind as clearly as if they’d been spoken aloud. “Joe?” she whispered.
She listened, waited, but the voice didn’t return. She’d have to sort this out herself.
“Are we almost there yet?” Donna’s sleepy voice asked. “I stayed up too late last night trying to pack. These early mornings are for younger people. Doesn’t it bother your eyes to knit when it’s dark?”
Helen chuckled. Her friend was notorious for skipping from one subject to another without warning. “I think we’re about halfway there. No, it doesn’t bother my eyes, because I’m not looking at my hands or at the yarn. I’ve done this so long I can do it by feel.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier to go to the dollar store and buy a scarf and hat?”
“I suppose. But this will be a lot warmer. Besides, I need to keep my hands busy. I’m happier when I’m doing something.”
Donna sighed. “I guess that’s why you keep so young. You never stop moving.”
She swung around to stare at her friend. “What do you mean, I keep so young?”
“Just what I said. I know you’re almost sixty, because you went to high school with my sister. But you look at least ten years younger. You don’t have any trouble getting around, and you probably still wear the same size clothes you did when you were in your twenties.” She patted her ample tummy. “Most of us can’t say that. You probably don’t suffer from all the old age problems that most of us do — high blood pressure, arthritis, digestive problems, stuff we have to take a dozen pills for.”
“Not yet.”
“No wonder the pastor’s brother follows you around like a lovesick puppy.”
“A lovesick — no way! He’s just friendly. And he knows me because he’s renting my mother-in-law apartment.”
“He’s renting the apartment behind your garage? How convenient for you. I wish I’d known he was looking for a place to live. I would have kicked my kids out of the house.”
“You would not. He only needed something temporary. He’s staying in town because he and Matt are trying to figure out what’s wrong with Loretta.”
Donna sobered. “Yes, I’ve been wondering about that, too. I thought maybe she was really sick. But she was in church a few weeks ago. Have they taken her to a doctor?”
“Several doctors, according to Mike. He took her to a specialist the other day. But Loretta won’t let her sons into the doctor’s office with her, and she won’t tell them what the doctor says. And with the HIPAA laws, they can’t find out.”
“Must be rough on them.”
“It is. They can’t get help for her if they can’t find out what’s wrong with her.”
“Loretta’s always been stubborn. I just hope her stubbornness isn’t going to hurt her in the end. If she’s suffering from something serious, the longer she denies it, the worse it gets. Say, maybe she’ll cheer up and come out of her shell if she knows her son has a new girlfriend.”
“I am not his girlfriend. I’m hardly a girl anymore.”
“Lady friend, then.”
“That makes me sound like a… a…”
“Lady of the night?”
They both laughed. “There is no good way to put it, is there?”
Before they knew it, they were pulling into the high school parking lot. The Zutphen residents got off, and the bus left. Since it was a Saturday, the lot was empty except for their cars.
Donna took Helen’s arm. “Help me to my car, would you please? I can walk there, but not with my suitcase.”
“Of course.” Helen pulled a suitcase in each hand. At Donna’s car, the older woman opened her trunk, and Helen put it inside.
“Should I follow you home and bring the suitcase in your house for you?”
“No, my son should be over later. He can bring it in. But I just want to tell you how nice it was to see you smiling. Not that you’re a grump or anything, but I haven’t really seen you so happy since Joe died. You deserve to be happy. I had forty-one good years with Frank before he passed, but before he left this earth, he told me that he didn’t want me to be alone. I don’t think Joe would want that for you, either. So if that little voice in your head is telling you to push him away, you just tell it to be quiet. Unless Mike has a secret wife hidden somewhere, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you two having a relationship or a fling or whatever they call it now. You can’t let other people tell you what’s right or wrong.”
Joe? Are you trying to tell me something?
Chapter Eighteen
On Sunday morning, Helen woke early and was ready for church long before Paul arrived to take her. She’d even applied a little extra makeup and took extra care with her hair, taming the waves until they fell in a becoming hairstyle. It had been a long time since she’d felt inclined to put any effort into her appearance.
On the one hand, it was a good thing. A man had made her feel feminine, and in turn she valued her appearance and took care. But it would not be a good idea to make these efforts just for Mike. Oh, he was a very nice man from a good family and had a steady job. But he’d never spoken of a family — no wife, no children. Had he never married? If not, why not? If a man hadn’t married by the time he reached his age, he probably never would. He would probably never want to give up his bachelor ways. She didn’t feel right asking his brother such personal questions. No, if it looked like things were starting to develop more, she’d have to ask Mike himself.
Goodness, who would have believed it? A relationship with a man? At her age? Until this weekend she would have considered it impossible.
But she could dream. As long as she didn’t turn into a pool of drooling mess in front of him, he’d never have to know about the images that played in her mind in the comfort of her own room after dark.
She poured herself another glass of ice water. H
ot coffee wasn’t going to work today.
At least she didn’t have to cook dinner. Nancy had sent her a text message the previous day, while she rode the bus back to Zutphen. “Don’t worry about dinner tomorrow. I’ve got it covered.” What a sweetheart her son had married. She was able to come home from her trip and relax. For a moment, anyway.
Jonathan and his family arrived at around the same time they did, so they entered the high school auditorium together, taking their usual row. She sneaked a peek across the aisle to where the Sikkemas sat in the front row. As if she had called him, Mike turned toward her and his lips curved in that killer smile. She nearly melted into her seat. Feeling her face heat, she cast him a quick smile before looking away. A church service was not the place for the thoughts she was having. They’d likely kick her out if they could see the videos rolling through her mind.
Pastor Sikkema apparently delivered a rousing sermon, but she couldn’t for the life of her remember a word he’d said. Joe would have been disappointed — he always liked to discuss the service afterward. Next was Sunday School, and Helen did her best to listen to a lesson on spiritual gifts. Since her classroom was next to the auditorium, she could hear the younger children rehearsing the songs for their portion of the pageant. Helen’s group would rehearse later in the afternoon. The two groups would do a combined rehearsal the Sunday before the pageant as well as the Wednesday before.
Finally it was time to leave. Paul drove them all to his home, where Nancy had a pot roast in the slow cooker. Most of the dinnertime conversation centered on Helen’s trip.
“I heard there’s no cars on the island. Did you walk everywhere?” her grandson asked.
“Yes, or we rode bikes. There were horses, too.”
“Did you ride a horse, Grandma?” her granddaughter asked.
Helen laughed. “No, I didn’t ride a horse. I did go on a bike ride. That was fun.”
“Who did you ride with?”
“It was… one of the other people on the trip. There were lots of people on the bus tour out of Holland.” No need to raise any questions, but Nancy gave her a knowing look.
The rest of the dinner passed quickly. Finally Helen wiped her lips on her napkin and sat back in her chair with a sigh. “Thank you so much for dinner, Nancy. The pot roast was delicious.”
“You’re so welcome, Mom. I figured it was about time you got a break from fixing Sunday dinner.”
“I never minded, since I get to see my kids and grandkids, but it is nice to have a break.” Remembering her appointment with her financial advisor, she turned to Paul. “Oh, before I forget, I need to have my checking account statements for the last several months.”
Paul frowned. “Why?” He rose from his chair and picked up his plate.
“Howard Tillema wants to see them.”
He froze. “Why does Howard want them?”
“Because I asked if I had extra money so I could go on the bus trip. He said I should have plenty of money for it and said I should go more often. I told him I barely get enough money each month to pay my bills.”
“You told him that? Why? And why didn’t you ask me for the money?”
“I told him that because that’s what you always tell me. And secondly, you were out of town and I needed money to pay for the trip right away.”
She paused to wipe some gravy from her youngest grandchild’s face.
“Anyway,” she continued, “Howard seems to think that the amount I get each month should be more than enough for my expenses plus a lot of extras like trips and clothes and furniture. He said last year was a good one for my investments and that unless I had some expenses he didn’t know about I should be more than comfortable. I told him I hadn’t spent a dime on anything extra in years, and that you’re very strict about my budget. So he wants to see the statements. Do you have them?”
Paul shifted in his seat and looked away. “They’re online. I’d have to print them off.”
“Okay. So will you please print them off so I can show him I’m not wasting money?”
“Yeah. Sure. I’ll do that tonight.”
Nancy paused while taking the dishes to the sink. “Why wait that long? Do it now before you forget. I can take Mom and Rusty to pageant practice, and you can give them to her when they’re done.”
Paul groaned and went into his study.
Twenty minutes later he returned. “Sorry, Mom. The bank’s website is down for maintenance. I won’t be able to get it until tomorrow.”
“Oh. Well, that’s all right. Howard told me I could get them from the bank if I needed to. I’m supposed to meet Howard on Thursday, so if you get them printed out I can get them from you on Wednesday.
“Listen, Mom. If it’s just a matter of you needing more money, I can give you more each month. I’m sure there are ways we can squeeze more out of your budget.”
“I don’t see how. There’s not much else I can give up. I need my cell phone in case I have problems on the road, especially without road service—”
“Paul, don’t tell me you cancelled your mother’s road service!” Nancy scolded her husband. “What if her car breaks down or she gets in an accident? You can’t expect her to walk to the next gas station. She could call one of us, but what if she can’t reach us?”
Paul frowned. “I suppose that’s something I shouldn’t have cancelled. I’ll add it back on.”
“And since Mike has been kind enough to mow the lawn, I haven’t had to pay the neighbor’s son to come over and do it.”
“What happened to your lawn service?” Nancy asked. “I thought Dell’s Lawn Care was doing that.”
“No, Paul cancelled that this spring, the same time he cancelled my cable television. I don’t miss that, because he showed me how I can get most of my favorite shows online. But I miss the way Dell always took good care of the yard.”
Paul started to turn red, and Helen wondered why her unflappable son looked so uncomfortable. “Well, uh, I hear the market has been good lately so your investments are doing better. I’ll be able to give you more for your spending money. In fact, why don’t I give you some now? You should get some new… clothes for the holidays.” He reached for his wallet.
“Put that wallet away. I’m fine. It’s not like I’m going hungry or my clothes are falling apart. There are people who get by on a lot less than me. I just decided that I was going to splurge for a change and go on that trip. As it turned out, between renting out the apartment to Mike and the garage sale, I didn’t need much extra at all. If I have to cut back some more to make up for it, it’ll be worth it.”
“Well, I feel bad that you’re having to do without. Dad wouldn’t like it.”
“If he knew it was necessary, he’d be the first to give up something. He gave up smoking when you were small because he realized we could buy more groceries if he didn’t buy cigarettes. Now, why don’t I help put this food away?” Helen picked up the condiments and headed for the refrigerator.
“Mom, it’s okay,” Nancy intervened. “You probably want to get to the school early to take care of some things before your rehearsal. The kids can help with cleanup. Right, kids? I’ll just run you home.”
She did have some details to take care of with the pageant. “Thank you so much, Nancy.”
Chapter Nineteen
“Mrs. DeGroot? This is Tammie at Heritage Financial. I’m calling to postpone your appointment with Mr. Tillema.”
“Oh. All right, when does he want me to come in?”
“I’m not sure. He’s in the hospital, and his wife didn’t tell me how long he would be there. She just asked me to contact everyone in his appointment book to let them know he wouldn’t be able to meet with them.”
“Oh dear. I hope it’s not serious. Thank you for calling.” She hung up, at a loss. She’d really been looking forward to finding out from Howard what he thought about her budgeting. She probably should have been more aware of what was going on with her money, but it had been so much easier to
just let Paul take care of it. In many ways he was so much like his father. And if she couldn’t trust her own son, who could she trust?
Well, she’d worry about that later. Right now, there were more pressing matters to attend to. The Christmas Pageant was six weeks away, and her cast continued to shrink. Another family had moved away from Zutphen Church. The father had found a better paying job in Grand Rapids, and with fuel costs rising, the family had moved to be closer to his job. It was sad for the community, and the city leaders were scrambling to find ways to prevent more people from leaving.
But for Helen, that meant she needed to make adjustments to her script, because she’d lost a child who had several lines in her play. Should she redistribute the lines among the remaining children, or coerce other children to take them? Or should she rewrite things so that his lines weren’t necessary?
She sighed, sank into her recliner with her notebook, and started to write.
Her mind was focused on her revisions, so the knock on her door took her by surprise. Mike stood there, and her mood suddenly brightened.
“Hi. It was such a nice day I thought I’d take care of cutting the grass this morning, unless you’re having company and don’t want the noise.”
“Oh, that would be wonderful! When you’re done, why don’t you come in for lunch?” After that glorious trip to Mackinac, she’d gotten used to seeing his face. They’d had either lunch or dinner together almost every day since then, and sometimes both.
“It’s a deal. I might even be persuaded to do some weeding if dessert is involved,” he teased.
She laughed. “I think I can manage that.”
She closed the door and raced to the kitchen. Now that she’d issued the invitation, she needed to figure out what to serve. Did she have time to run to Zylstra’s? Probably not. Her lot wasn’t that large. She’d planned on a bowl of leftover chili, but that wasn’t going to be enough for a man his size. Maybe a sandwich to go with it? And a salad? What did she have for a dessert?
By the time Mike knocked again, an apple crisp was cooling on top of the stove next to the pot of reheated chili, a tossed salad was in the refrigerator, and she had just finished assembling a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches to put on the griddle. He stepped in, sniffed appreciatively, and gave her a wide smile. “I smell baked apples. It’s definitely fall in Michigan. I’ve missed that.”
The Patricia Kiyono Christmas Collection Page 22