fragile, human.
I didn’t feel very human at the moment, though.
Moira, for her part, seemed thoroughly unintimidated. She
relaxed in her chair and crossed one leg over the other, watching me curiously as if to see what I would do next. As if I was nothing more to her than a mildly interesting television program. “Are you going
to attack me?” she asked.
I wanted to. God, how I wanted to.
But it would kill me to do so. She would tear me apart in a
heartbeat, and then I really wouldn’t ever see Cryder or Cecile
again. I couldn’t throw my life away like that when there was a
chance, they might be alive and waiting for me.
Slowly, bit by bit, I managed to reel myself in. It felt as
though I had to consciously force each muscle to relax.
Moria smiled. “There,” she said. “That wasn’t so hard, was
it?” I cringed at the sound of her voice. Now that my rage had
left me, I felt smaller somehow, weaker. More vulnerable. And the
way her voice echoed through the throne room did something to me.
It was an assault on my ears.
Was this room designed this way on purpose? Were the
acoustics in here supposed to make the citizens of La Oscurità feel at a disadvantage? I couldn’t imagine Giorgia or Samuele doing
something like that...but then, they probably hadn’t been the ones to design the palace. And as I looked at Moira, I found I could easily
envision a vampire using those kinds of tactics to intimidate her
people. “So, little one,” she said. “Are you ready to talk?”
“I can’t offer you the throne,” I said. “You must know I
can’t. It isn’t even mine yet. I’m not...I don’t have the power to do that. I don’t think I’m the one you want to be talking to.”
“Oh, but you are,” Moira said. “You fascinate me. The lost
royal, the new queen, returned at last to La Oscurità. And I’m sure
your blood is an absolute delicacy.”
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I thought of Bristol, the cruel and violent vampire who had
hunted me back home for a taste of my blood. I remembered how
Cryder had assured me that, while others like him would come for
me, I would be safe here in La Oscurità.
He had been wrong.
“The blood of the royals really is the finest thing in the
world,” Moira mused. She wiped at her teeth with her thumb, and it
came away bloody. “I can’t understand why everyone doesn’t want
to try it.”
“That’s because you’re insane,” I said through gritted teeth.
Moira ignored me. “The power it gives you! Especially
rogue vampires like me. Separated from the rest, isolated and
alone...we need power. We waste away, little human. We dwindle to nothing. I need this blood to regain the strength I used to have. And the more I drink, the stronger I become.”
“How much…” I swallowed hard. This was the question I
had to ask, and the answer I so very badly did not want to know.
“How much have you drunk?”
“You’d like to know that, wouldn’t you?” she asked, smiling.
“How much royal blood has been spilled today…”
I felt like screaming. I reached inside myself for the rage that
had protected me when we’d first entered this room, but I couldn’t
find it. All I could think about was Cecile. My best friend, who
didn’t belong in this world, who wasn’t even a member of the royal
family. What good was her blood to Moira?
If she dies for this, I will never, ever forgive myself.
“Don’t worry,” Moria said. “I haven’t had very much yet.
Just a taste. Just a little taste of one of them.”
“What does that mean? Just a taste?”
“It means they’re all still alive,” Moira said. “You can drink
from a human for quite a while, you know. Blood cells replenish. If
you give them time to recover between tastings, you can feed on the
same human for weeks before it kills them. And, of course, vampires
recover even more quickly.”
I thought of one of my friends, my new family members, tied
up somewhere, weak with blood loss. The rage ripped to life within
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me again as if someone had yanked the starter cord on an engine.
“Who?” I growled.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Who was it? Who did you put your vile mouth on?” If she
said Cecile’s name, I was going to tear her apart.
If she said Cryder’s name—
No. Don’t think about that. God, I was on the verge of losing control of myself already. What was happening to me? I felt so
strange, so unlike myself.
How did my brain even have the bandwidth to ask that
question while I was worrying over which member of my family
Moira had hurt?
What if it was Samuele? Kind, quiet Samuele, who had made
me feel welcome from the moment I’d stepped into the palace?
Or what if it was Giorgia? Giorgia was the strength of this
place, the backbone, and she had taught me everything I knew about
La Oscurità and my responsibilities as new queen. I had been
counting on her to guide me through whatever came next.
Or what if it was Drake? He had been so steady and
reassuring last year when I’d learned about my true nature. He had
been a good friend from the moment I’d met him. I didn’t want to
see him hurt.
What if I lost whoever it was?
“They heal quickly,” Moira said, and once again her tone
was musing and distant, as if she wasn’t even speaking to me. As if
she wasn’t even really aware of my presence in the throne room.
“They heal quickly, so I really should let them recover. I should try to be patient. Because if I keep them alive, I’ll be able to enjoy them for a longer time. That would be wisest. Yes.”
Then she smiled sinisterly, and I felt as if my internal organs
had turned to water.
“But I’m not Cryder’s wise aunt, am I, little girl?” she asked.
“I’m not the one the family trusts to make good decisions. If I was
that, they would have let me rule. They wouldn’t have locked me up
for daring to try.
“I’m the insane one. I’m the one who does whatever I want,
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just because I want to, even though it doesn’t make any sense.”
“You can’t,” I whispered.
“I can’t what?”
“Whatever you’re thinking. Don’t do it. Don’t hurt them.”
She laughed. “You have no idea what I’m thinking, do you?”
You’re thinking of killing them. I didn’t dare say the words out loud. What if I somehow made the unthinkable come true by
giving voice to it? What if I was wrong about what she was thinking, and I put the idea into her head?
“They give me so much power,” she said quietly. “How can I
be expected to resist? How can it possibly be worth waiting for? If I had all that power, if I had all of their blood right now instead of just a taste...the things I could do! I would be the most powerful queen in the history of La Oscurità. I would be the most powerful vampire the world has ever seen.”
My mind whirled. She was considering killing them, all of
them. My whole family. Drinking their blood, right now, f
or the
boost of power it would give her. “You can’t,” I said wildly.
“You keep saying that,” Moira said. “But I can. Of course, I
can. Don’t you know that I’m in control here? Don’t you know that
I’ve got them all locked up, beyond your reach, where they can’t
hope to get away from me? If I decide I want to, I can go finish them off right now.” Her expression was hungry.
“But you shouldn’t,” I said. My thoughts were racing, and I
struggled to keep my wits about me. “You shouldn’t use up all your
supply at once like that. Yes, you’d be powerful...but it would wear off, wouldn’t it? And then everyone would be gone, and you would
be left with nothing. The people of La Oscurità would rise up
against you.”
“They wouldn’t.”
“They could,” I said, not knowing whether I was right, or she
was. “And if they did, once the blood wore off, you’d be too weak to fight back.”
But she hesitated.
I drew a deep breath. In my old life, my human life, deep
breathing would have calmed me down. Today, it felt as if the only
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thing the oxygen was doing was fueling the flames of the anger
inside me. Every time I thought I had it under control, it would blaze up.
How dare she sit in the seat that belongs to the queen?
How dare she hurt the people of La Oscurità?
How dare she lock away my family?
When I thought of her sinking her vile teeth into one of
them—any one of them—I felt as if I were going to combust. I felt
as if my hands might turn into stone. And if they did, I would have
been only too happy to put them to work pounding her horrible face.
It was so unlike me to feel these violent urges, to think these
violent thoughts. I had never been temperamental as a child. And
even as I’d entered my teenage years, I’d been moodier than given
to bursts of anger.
Of course, anger was called for in this situation. Anyone
would be angry.
But this rage? This was new to me. This wasn’t something
I’d felt before.
I felt murderous.
And suddenly I understood.
This wasn’t a human feeling.
This was a vampire feeling.
The change that was supposed to happen to me gradually
over the next several weeks had taken a giant step forward in the
past few hours. Maybe it was the trials. I couldn’t be sure. But
something about me was now fundamentally different.
I would wrestle with the implications later.
For now, all I knew—and all I needed to know—was that I
felt powerful.
I couldn’t be sure, but I thought there was a chance that I
could hold my own in a fight with Moira. I remembered the way I had fought in the second trial, the way I had surprised myself. Did I have the muscle memory to pull off those moves again here?
“Maybe you’re right,” Moira said, pulling me out of my
thoughts. “Maybe it wouldn’t be wise to rush through this.”
I felt like I was going to pass out from relief. “You can
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always decide later,” I suggested.
“I suppose that’s true,” she agreed. “I don’t need that much
blood to get started. Just a taste again will do.”
I nodded; sure that my legs were going to give out at any
second. “But I’ll need more than last time, of course,” she said. “This time I’ll have to finish one of them.”
It took a moment for her meaning to register.
“What?” I gasped. “You’re going to kill one of them?” My
head spun. Had I pushed her to this?
“There’s no need to look so upset!” she trilled. “It’s only
one! And I’ll tell you what, little human. Since you seem so fond of them, I’ll do you a special favor. After all, you’ve been very kind to sit here and talk all this through with me.” She got to her feet and glided across the room to stand before me. “I’ll let you choose.”
“Let me choose...what?”
“The victim, of course.” Her wicked smile left me in no
doubt about what she meant. “Any member of the royal family you
like. Anyone’s blood will do. Who’s it going to be? The king? The
queen? Your boyfriend?”
I bit back a scream.
“It’s up to you,” she said, and caressed my cheek.
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Chapter Fourteen
Her words echoed in my head, on repeat, over and over. I’ll let you choose. I couldn’t choose. There was no way to do it.
I couldn’t sentence anyone to die. By saying their name
aloud, I would be as good as killing them, and that wasn’t something I could live with.
How could I look Cryder in the eye if I gave Moira leave to
kill his mother or his father? How could I face the people of La
Oscurità if my first act as queen was to murder one of their old
rulers? They would think I was as bad as Moira, killing to get to the throne. I would be as bad as Moira.
It didn’t matter that I didn’t want to do it, that my
motivations would be different. That wouldn’t make an ounce of
difference to the person who died at my command.
She’s doing this to torture me.
Of course, she was doing it to torture me. Of course, she was.
That much was obvious by the cruel smile on her face.
Any member of the royal family. Well, that had to mean that
Cecile was safe, right? She wasn’t a royal. She couldn’t be chosen.
Except...was that true? It suddenly occurred to me that I had
no idea how that sort of thing worked. It was by royal blood and
venom that Cecile had been born into her new life as a vampire. Did
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that make her part of the family now?
Maybe she wasn’t safe at all.
Well, Moira couldn’t have Cecile. Not my best friend, whose
family had taken me in when I’d had no one in the world. I wouldn’t
be able to bear it.
Nor would I let her touch Cryder. The thought of her
harming him made me feel like I was going to explode with rage. If
he died, I thought I might tear this palace down piece by piece with my bare hands.
Which left Drake.
Kindhearted, caring Drake.
Drake, who loved Cecile.
Drake, who had saved my life.
No. I couldn’t condemn him to death either.
“I’m waiting,” Moira trilled.
There was only one way out. The realization settled in my
gut like a stone. But at the same time, I felt the panicky fog around my mind clear. I knew what I needed to do. And there was no
hesitation, no moral quandary. There was a right answer here.
“I can pick anybody?” I asked.
“Any member of the royal family,” she said, her eyes
narrowing slightly, as if she sensed a trap.
I drew a breath. “Me. I choose me.”
Moira’s smile widened. “I thought you might,” she
whispered. “You’re so much like my sister. So noble. Such a
martyr.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, afraid that if I spoke at full
volume my voice would shake and betray my terror.
“You think it’s a compliment, to be a martyr?”
>
“I think it’s a compliment that you think I’m like Giorgia,” I
said, and a little more strength came back into my voice. “I couldn’t think of any higher praise, actually.”
“You haven’t known her long,” Moira said. “If you had, you
would know better.”
I didn’t answer.
In a flash, she had left the throne and was at my side. I didn’t
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even see her move. I had seen displays of speed and strength from
Cryder and Drake before, but never anything to match this. So, this is what the royal blood does for her. This is what it turns her into.
The thought was an abstract one. The pain that jerked me out
of it was real. She had dragged me back across the room and
slammed me into the throne, hard. I felt the warmth of the wood
beneath my legs and remembered the last time I’d sat here, posing
awkwardly for a picture so Cecile could send a souvenir home to her
mother. She was going to have to tell her mother I had died…
“Last chance, little girl,” Moira breathed. “Do you want me
to choose someone else? Do you want me to let you go? All you
have to do is give me a name, and you can walk away from me right
now.” “No,” I whispered. I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to watch
this. Instead, I called a memory of Cryder’s face to the forefront of my mind. Let him be the last thing I saw, even if he wasn’t really
here. I tried to contain myself at the painful stab of teeth sinking into the flesh of my neck, but I couldn’t help it—I cried out with the pain. A moment later I felt the sickening rush of blood being sucked from my body. It was a horrifying and alien sensation.
I gripped the armrests of the throne, trying to force my mind
back to Cryder’s face. Waiting for death to come.
Then something snapped in my hand.
I couldn’t help it. I opened my eyes and glanced down.
A sharp fragment of wood had broken off the throne in my
hand.
I didn’t think. I didn’t question what I was doing. I turned
my wrist and jammed my arm forward as hard as I could, burying
my makeshift dagger in the flesh of Moira’s stomach.
She screamed and staggered backward, and I heard the sound
of my own flesh tearing as her teeth ripped away from me. “What
did you do!” she shrieked.
I lifted my fingers to touch the wound at the side of my neck,
to assess the damage. How badly was I bleeding? Was there a
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