My stomach rumbled, pulling me from my thoughts. The only thing I’d eaten yesterday was a granola bar after I came back from Adam’s apartment, and my body was demanding food. I grabbed my keys off the dresser and headed out the door. Pancakes sounded like heaven, so I headed for IHOP. It was clear across town, but it didn’t matter. I had no plans for the day.
I smiled when I pulled into the parking lot. There were perks to waking up early. The lot was almost completely empty. I stifled a yawn as I opened the door and stepped inside. The hostess seated me immediately. I scanned the menu, debating on which pancakes sounded the best.
“Following me around like a stalker already? I thought we had an understanding.”
I jerked my head up to see Adam standing next to my table. “Adam? What are you doing here?”
“Probably the same thing you are. I want breakfast.” He slid into the booth across from me.
“Oh,” I said just as a waitress stopped next to my table.
“Do you need another menu?” she asked, eyeing Adam in a way that made me want to scratch her eyeballs out.
“Nah, I know what I want,” Adam said.
My gaze flickered to him. He was watching me in a way that said he wasn’t talking about food. I automatically clenched my legs together, remembering our night together.
“What do you want?” the waitress asked, suddenly annoyed.
Maybe she noticed the eye-fucking going on between Adam and me.
“Regular pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs,” Adam said, his gaze never leaving mine.
“To drink?”
“Coffee.”
“And for you?” she asked me.
“The same,” I said as I tore my eyes away from Adam.
“Great. I’ll put your order in right away.”
She grabbed my menu from my hands and walked away. I watched until she disappeared around the corner, desperate to look at anything besides Adam.
“So, why are you up so early?” Adam asked, forcing me to look up at him.
While I felt like one big ball of nerves, he was sitting across from me, completely relaxed. I wanted to kick him for being so calm and collected.
“Couldn’t sleep,” I mumbled. “You?”
“I have to work.”
“On a Sunday?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I help my uncle run a gas station about a mile from here. Since I’m usually out late, he generally puts me on the afternoon shift. Sundays are the exception though.”
“I didn’t even know you had a job,” I said, feeling like an idiot.
He laughed. “Well, I have to pay rent somehow. The money from our shows at Gold’s helps, but it isn’t enough.”
“I never really thought about you having a life outside of the bar,” I admitted. “Are you in school, too? I haven’t seen you around campus.”
He shook his head. “Nah, school isn’t for me. I barely managed to graduate high school on time. I used to skip constantly. The thought of signing up for four years of hell just so I can have a piece of paper to show the world how smart I am really doesn’t interest me. Besides, I don’t want to end up with a shit-ton of student loan debt.”
“My mom and dad pretty much told me I was going to college whether I wanted to or not. I didn’t have a choice, but I think I still would’ve gone even if they had let me decide.”
“Why?” he asked.
I gave him a tiny smile. “My parents have really nice jobs—a doctor and a lawyer. I grew up with nice things, and I really don’t feel like changing my lifestyle all that much. I don’t want the responsibilities they have, but I do want to be able to afford a nice house one day.”
“If you aren’t going to follow in their footsteps, what do you plan on doing?”
I shrugged. “Still undecided, but I’m leaning toward being a paralegal.”
“Sounds fancy,” he mumbled.
“Not really. I’d work at a law firm, but I wouldn’t be included in all the political bullshit that my dad has to deal with.”
I couldn’t believe I was sitting here, telling Adam about my hopes for the future. I was even more surprised that he’d given me a few small tidbits of information about his life. For some reason, I’d never given any thought to what he did when he wasn’t with the band.
“So, you said you work with your uncle?”
He nodded.
“What do your parents think about you working with him?”
I saw anger flash in his eyes, but it was gone a moment later.
“My parents couldn’t care less if I was alive or dead. I doubt if it bothers them that their only son is working at a gas station.”
If it hadn’t been for Chloe’s twisted relationship with her mother, I would’ve frozen in shock at his words. While I had two parents who really loved me, I’d seen the ugly side of Chloe’s fucked-up life. I’d sat with her when she would come to my house beaten and bleeding. I’d listened to the things her mother said to her when she bothered to call her only child. So, no, Adam’s words hadn’t shocked me the way they should have. I was pretty sure I’d seen it all already. Nothing he might say about his parents would shock me.
“I don’t speak from personal experience, but I’ve seen how screwed-up parents can be. It’s too bad that yours suck.”
He paused, obviously caught off guard. He probably thought I’d try to apologize for whatever they had done to him and then try to make him feel better. In situations like this, there was nothing I or anyone else could say to make things right. Sometimes, fucked-up situations stayed that way.
Finally, he gave me a small grin. “They do suck, but I’m over it. I’ve been on my own since I was eighteen. Well, that’s not entirely true. My uncle helped me after they kicked me out on my ass with nothing more than a suitcase full of clothes and my guitar. He gave me a job and helped me find a place to live.”
“How long has it been since you talked to them?”
“Three years.”
“So, you’re twenty-one?”
He nodded.
“Have you tried to contact them at all?”
He shook his head. “Nope. If they want to find me, all they have to do is talk to my uncle. Until then, I’m fine with how things are. I don’t need them.”
Our waitress appeared, her arms full of plates. We fell silent as she put everything down on the table in front of us.
“Do you need anything else?” she asked.
“We’re good.” I picked up my fork and dug into my pancakes.
When Adam chuckled, I looked up.
“What’s so funny?”
He shook his head. “I just told you more about me than I’ve ever told another chick—well, except for Jade, but she doesn’t count as a girl. She’s a band member.”
“I’m glad you told me. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “There’s nothing to be curious about when it comes to me. What you see is what you get.”
Somehow, I doubted that, but I kept my opinion to myself.
We finished breakfast in silence. I didn’t mind though. It wasn’t that awkward silence where I felt like I was drowning. Instead, it was peaceful.
“I should probably head to work,” Adam said after finishing his coffee.
“I guess I’ll see you later,” I said as I watched him stand.
He threw a few dollars down on the table to cover his bill before walking away. I didn’t dare turn around to watch him leave. I stared at the spot he’d just left, wondering what the hell had just happened between us. For a moment, it had seemed as if we were almost…friends. That thought terrified and exhilarated me all at once.
I waited another minute or two to make sure Adam was gone before throwing down a few bills on the table to cover my own meal. I grabbed my wallet and stood. I passed several customers coming in as I made my way to the door. Once outside, I walked to where I’d parked my car.
“Amber!”
I jumped when
I heard someone call my name. I looked to my left and saw Adam approaching me.
“Yeah?” I asked, surprised that he hadn’t left yet.
He stopped in front of me with an uneasy expression on his face. He ran his hand over his Mohawk, making me smile. He looked absolutely adorable. I’d never thought I would use the words Adam and adorable together in a sentence, but there it was.
“What are you doing tonight?”
I shrugged. “Nothing that I know of. Why? You guys playing at Gold’s?”
He shook his head. “No, no show tonight. Why don’t you stop by my place tonight? I get off work at six.”
I couldn’t hide my surprise. “You want me to come by again?”
For the first time since I’d met him, Adam looked unsure of himself.
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
I paused for a moment until I could find my voice again. “All right. I’ll be there.”
I stared up at Adam’s apartment building. The entire day, I’d felt nothing but excitement over seeing him again. Now that I was here, doubt started to cloud my mind. Spending more time with him was a bad idea. I knew it, and from the hesitant way he’d acted this morning, he knew it, too.
Nothing good could come from this. I already knew it wouldn’t be cut-and-dried like my relationship with Alex. I’d been attracted to Alex. With Adam, it wasn’t quite that simple. Obviously, most of my feelings were derived from carnal needs, but a small part of me was attracted to Adam because of who he was.
When Chad had cheated on me, I’d made a vow to myself to never get tangled up with another man the way I had with him. It just hurt too damn much to have feelings involved. The pain I’d felt with Chad would be nothing compared to what Adam could do to me if I let him. I could tell that much already.
I reached forward and grabbed my key. I started my car, my mind made up. I was going to go back home and forget that I’d been stupid enough to get involved with someone like Adam. I put my car in drive, but I couldn’t bring myself to push the gas pedal. I felt like I was being torn in two. A part of me was determined to run away from him as fast as I could, but another part was just as determined to get out of this car and climb the stairs to Adam’s apartment.
I put the car back in park and shut it off. I cursed at myself as I climbed out of my car and walked to his building. I knew I’d regret this later. I just knew it. But for now, I was going to take whatever Adam had to offer and pretend I didn’t give a damn.
I walked into his building and went up the stairs to the second floor. When I reached his door, I raised my hand to knock. Before I could, the door swung open. My mouth went dry when I caught sight of a shirtless Adam. My eyes dipped lower. He was wearing only a pair of shorts that rode low on his hips. I almost sighed at the sight of that perfect V disappearing into his shorts.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d come up or not,” Adam said.
I forced my eyes back up to his face. It was harder than I’d thought it would be. “I’m here.” It wasn’t the most poetic thing I’d ever said, but my mind wasn’t fully functional at the moment.
“I saw you park down there about fifteen minutes ago. You almost left.” His rich brown eyes stared at me intently.
“But I didn’t.”
He held the door open wider so that I could pass through. I walked to his couch and dropped my purse onto it. I shivered when I felt Adam step up behind me. He wasn’t touching me, but I could feel the heat of his body soaking into my back. I was aware of him like no one else. I stilled as his fingers softly touched my hair. He pushed it back until my neck was visible. He stepped closer so that his body was flush against mine.
“Why didn’t you run from me? You wanted to.” He dropped tiny kisses along my neck. He pulled my shirt aside, and then he kissed my shoulder as well.
“Maybe I wanted something from you,” I whispered.
He paused for a moment before kissing my neck again. “And what would that be?”
I turned until I was facing him. His dark eyes were clouded with desire. I reached up and cupped his face. Without saying a word, I stood on my toes and kissed him. It wasn’t as heated as our previous kisses, but it was incredible in its own way. Soft, gentle kisses were just as good as fast and furious ones.
Adam pulled away, his eyes smoldering. “I don’t know why I asked you here tonight.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I assumed it was because you wanted more sex.”
He grinned. “I do. I guess I just don’t normally do repeat performances with anyone. But you…” He paused to run his fingers down the side of my face. “You’re different. I can’t seem to get enough of you.”
“I would take that as a compliment if it weren’t for the massive frown on your face.”
“I don’t want shit to get complicated. I know how women work.” He dropped his hand.
I winced at the lack of emotion in his voice. It was like a switch had been flipped. Only seconds before, I’d seen a softer side of him. Now, it was gone.
“I’m not asking you for anything,” I told him, my voice as flat as his. “I thought we had an understanding.”
“We did. We do.” He ran his hands through his hair. “If this goes south, Drake will kick my ass.”
I rolled my eyes. “Who died and made Drake the boss?”
He grinned, but it faded quickly. “I like you, Amber. I don’t want to hurt you. I was serious when I told you that I thought we could be friends.”
“There’s no chance that you’ll hurt me,” I lied. “I don’t expect anything from you, except sex.”
He stared at me for a moment before finally speaking, “All right then. No expectations.”
He leaned forward to kiss me, but I stopped him by pressing my fingers to his lips.
“I do have one question though.”
“What?” he asked against my fingers.
I pulled them away. “Is this it, or what? I mean, is this the last night we’ll be together?”
“Do you want it to be?”
I bit my lip as I thought about how to answer him. “Not really. If you’re not opposed to it, I’d like to continue seeing each other.”
“Like I’d turn down sex with you,” he teased.
“Are we exclusive?” I asked, almost afraid to hear his answer.
His playful manner disappeared, and he was back to studying me. “Exclusive would imply some kind of relationship.”
“No, it wouldn’t. I’ve had an…agreement before with someone else.”
His gaze turned hard. “What do you mean?”
I swallowed roughly at the dark look in his eyes. “There was a guy I met when I started at WVU. We hooked up at a party. Neither of us wanted a relationship, but we had a good time together. We agreed not to screw around with anyone else while we were together, but we weren’t dating or hanging out.”
Adam took a step back as if I’d slapped him, his eyes filled with revulsion. “How often do you do shit like that?”
“What the fuck does it matter?” I asked as my temper flared.
What right did he have to judge me about who I’d slept with? He’d left the bar with more women than I could count.
“I never took you for a whore. That’s part of the reason I thought you were different,” he growled.
“Who are you to judge me, Adam? I know you’ve slept around. I don’t look down on you for that!”
“How many?” he asked.
“How many what?”
“How many men have you slept with?” he demanded.
I was going to cry. I could feel tears of anger and embarrassment building behind my eyes. I’d never been looked at the way Adam was looking at me right now—like I was complete trash.
“That’s none of your damn business!” I shouted.
I turned away from him and grabbed my purse. I shoved past him and headed for the door. This had turned into an even bigger disaster than I’d expected.
“Where the hell are you going?” he demanded a
s he grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving.
“I’m going home! Fuck you, Adam. Just fuck you!”
I tried to jerk my arm away from him, but he wouldn’t release me.
“How many?”
It came out as nothing more than a whisper, but I stopped struggling. Instead, I looked him in the eye, throwing every ounce of rage I had into my glare.
“Three,” I said quietly. “I’ve slept with three men. I thought I loved one, and he ripped my heart out. I walked in on him fucking someone else. Alex was just for fun because there was no way I would ever open myself up to someone again. And last but not least, you. You are, by far, the biggest mistake of all.”
I jerked my arm free and stormed to the door. I didn’t glance back as I threw the door open and stormed out into the hallway. Tears began to fall as I ran down the steps and outside to where I’d parked my car.
By the time I made it home, I could barely see. I sat in my car for several minutes, trying to get my tears and my breathing under control.
How dare he!
He’d had no right to judge me. I wasn’t perfect, but I sure as hell wasn’t a whore.
“Fuck you, Adam. Fuck you!” I screamed, not caring if anyone was close enough to my car to hear me.
I was done with Adam, totally and completely done. He could burn in hell for all I cared.
I spent the next two days pretending like nothing was wrong. At least, I tried. My argument with Adam kept running through my mind. Every time I thought about it, I felt angry and hurt. Of all the people in the world, Adam was the last guy I’d ever expected to treat me the way he had. I hated how much that stung.
By Wednesday, I was at my limit. I would even avoid Chloe when she tried to talk to me. I was wallowing in self-pity. I didn’t have room for anyone else’s problems. Considering the way Chloe had acted with Drake, I knew she was going to end up coming to me with a problem. As pissy as I was, she wouldn’t want to hear my advice to her.
I almost screamed in annoyance when someone knocked on my dorm door later that night. Chloe had been called in to work. I’d heard her tell me that much before I ran off this afternoon, so at least I knew it wasn’t her. My roommate wasn’t around, and I doubted if it was someone looking for her. As far as I could tell, she didn’t have many friends. I would feel sorry for her if she wasn’t such an annoying pain in the ass.
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