He threw me away from the door. I cried out as I fell to the floor. He didn’t look back as he grabbed the door and threw it open. It slammed shut, leaving me with nothing but silence. I stared at the closed door in shock, unable to believe what had just happened. He’d threatened me. He wanted nothing to do with this child, whether it was his or not.
I picked myself up off the ground and walked to my bedroom. My entire body felt numb. I couldn’t think properly. I thought Alex would be the easiest to tell. I’d hoped that he’d be excited and that he’d promise to stick with me and take care of me. If I had him, there would have been no reason to tell Adam.
“This can’t be happening,” I whispered to myself.
If Alex had taken it that badly, I could only imagine how Adam would react. He’d go ballistic, thinking that I was trying to trap him. When he found out that it might not be his, he’d probably tell me to stay away, too.
I hugged my pillow tightly against my chest and cried into it. I knew I had to tell him, but God, I didn’t want to. If I hadn’t told Chloe, I could’ve kept it to myself. I could’ve gotten rid of it before anyone found out. But I’d felt so alone and scared. I’d needed to tell her. I shuddered and clung to my pillow tighter. I couldn’t have an abortion anyway. No matter how much trouble this baby was, it wasn’t the baby’s fault. It didn’t deserve to die because I had been stupid.
The last thing that ran through my mind before I fell asleep was Adam and how much I loved him. But things would never be okay between us. Even a child couldn’t fix that.
One Week Later—October
Los Angeles, California
I searched the airport, looking for Chloe’s blonde head. I couldn’t believe it’d been less than two months since I came out here to visit. There was no excitement this time, only dread. Everything had changed.
“Hey,” Chloe said, suddenly appearing in front of me.
“Hi,” I said as I tried to smile at her.
There were no shrieks of joy or hugging like last time. Chloe tried to smile back at me, but it fell flat. I’d told her how Alex had reacted, and she’d been furious. I knew she was worried about me. I was worried about myself.
The ride back to her house was silent. Neither of us knew what to say. When we walked in her front door, Drake greeted us. He gave me a sad smile before pulling me into a hug.
I gave Chloe a questioning look over his shoulder.
She shrugged. “He knows.”
I tensed up, but Drake didn’t let me go. “We’ll figure it out, Amber. I promise. If all else fails, I’ll tell everyone I’m the dad. We never should’ve had that threesome.”
I laughed as I pulled away. I wasn’t sure when I’d laughed last. “You must really suck in bed since I don’t remember that,” I teased.
He grinned. “Are you kidding? I’ve got some serious moves in the bedroom. Just ask Chloe.”
I glanced over to see Chloe blushing like a fool.
“Will you shut up already, you idiot? Amber doesn’t need to hear about your moves.”
“What about that thing I do with my tongue that you like so much?” he teased, causing her cheeks to go even darker.
“I’m going to strangle you in your sleep,” she told him.
He grinned. “I’m okay with that. You know I like it when you’re rough.”
“Oh my God,” she mumbled as she covered her face with her hands.
I smiled at Drake, sending a silent thank-you to him. I knew what he was doing, and it was working. He was cheering me up and taking my mind off my problems. Even if it was only for a moment, I appreciated it.
“I’m going to take my stuff up to my room,” I said as I grabbed my bags. “Try to keep your tongue to yourself while I’m gone, Drake.”
He grinned at me. “I’ll try.”
I turned and walked up the stairs. I grinned when I heard Chloe smack Drake. He let out a grumble before disappearing into the living room. Chloe followed me up the stairs and walked into my room right behind me.
“He’s an idiot,” she grumbled.
“He’s your idiot though.”
She smiled. “Yeah, he is.”
Chloe sat on the bed as I pulled a few outfits out of my bags. I had no idea how long I’d be staying this time, so I had packed light. If I needed to leave in a hurry, it would be easier to throw four outfits into my luggage rather than twenty.
“So…are you okay?” Chloe finally asked.
I sat down next to her on the bed. “Not really. I’ve accepted that it’s happening, but I can’t really wrap my head around the fact that I’m going to be a mom. I’m not exactly parent material.”
“You’re going to be a great mom. And if Adam turns out to be an asshole, too, Drake and I will help you. I’m sure your parents will, too. Have you told them yet?”
I shook my head. “No. I wanted to get all of this sorted before I called them. It’s going to be hard enough to tell them that I’m pregnant. They’ll be super proud when they find out I don’t know who the father is.”
She frowned. “I don’t think they’ll be upset.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, maybe they’ll be a little upset, but once they get over the initial shock, they’ll be excited. This baby is their grandchild. I know your mom and dad. They’re going to be ecstatic.”
“They’d be the first,” I mumbled.
She sighed. “I’m sorry, Amber. I know things look really crappy right now, but it will get better. I promise.”
“I hope so,” I whispered.
She pulled me into a hug. “It will. Do you know how you’re going to tell Adam?”
“I have no clue. I don’t even know how to get him to talk to me. I’m sure the moment he sees me, he’s going to run like hell before I can get a word out.”
Chloe released me and smiled. I didn’t like the calculating look in her eyes.
“I can take care of getting him near you, and Drake can keep him from leaving.”
“What are you planning?” I asked suspiciously.
“Drake can call him and ask him to come over. He doesn’t know you’re in town, so he’ll come. Once he’s here, he’ll have no choice but to listen to you.”
“What are you going to do to keep him here? Sit on him?” I asked sarcastically.
“If it comes to that, then yes.” She stood and walked to the door. “I’m going to go ask Drake to call him. I’ll get Adam up here somehow, so you two can talk.”
“Now?” I asked, fear creeping in.
“If you don’t do it now, you’ll lose your nerve,” Chloe said.
I sighed. “I know. I just thought I’d have more time to prepare.”
“It’ll be fine, Amber. I promise.”
Then, she was gone.
And I was left alone—again.
“Why the fuck do you need me to help you hang shelves?”
I shot up off the bed at the sound of Adam’s voice. Oh God, he’s here. I wasn’t ready, not by a long shot.
I’d changed into a white sundress that stopped just above my knees. Unlike most of my dresses, it covered everything. It even had straps, for God’s sake. To me, that was like a full body suit. I’d left my hair down and put on a bit of makeup. It was stupid to worry what he would think about how I looked, but I did.
“Shut up and help me. Chloe’s been bustin’ my balls to put them up in one of the spare rooms.”
“You’re pussy-whipped, my friend,” Adam grumbled.
The door swung open, and Adam and Drake stepped into the room. I didn’t miss the fact that Drake had let Adam in first. If Adam tried to leave, Drake would block him.
Adam’s eyes landed on me. He froze mid-step and just stared. I swallowed roughly as I waited for him to speak. He didn’t disappoint.
“What in the actual fuck?” he growled as he turned and glared at Drake. “What the hell is she doing here?”
“She’s here for you,” Drake said. He crossed his arms over his chest.
/>
“Fuck that,” Adam said as he tried to move past Drake.
“You’re not leaving until you two talk.”
“This was a damn setup. Why?” Adam shouted at Drake. “I thought I made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with her.”
“Because she has something she needs to tell you, and I knew you’d never willingly see her.”
“You’re right, and I’m not going to talk to her now. Move!”
Drake shook his head. “You’re not going anywhere. Now, I can close the door and leave you two alone, or I can stand in here while she talks to you. Trust me when I say, you’re better off without me. This isn’t something that you’re going to want me to hang around for.”
Adam glared at him before turning away. “Fine. She can say whatever the hell she needs to say, and then I’m gone. I don’t care if I have to take down your ass to leave. What the fuck happened to bros before hoes?”
Drake grinned. “I got married. Bros never stood a chance.” He turned to leave. “Yell if you need me, Amber.”
Once he was gone, neither Adam nor I spoke. I watched him as he glared at me. In that moment, I knew that he absolutely hated me for forcing myself on him. I could see it in his eyes.
“Are you going to stare at me or tell me what the fuck you need to say?” Adam finally said.
I looked away for a moment, willing myself not to cry. I’d done far too much of that lately. “I think you might want to sit down.”
“I’ll stand, thanks,” Adam said sarcastically.
I fought back a retort. He was really starting to piss me off. “Suit yourself. But once I start talking, I want you to let me finish before you say anything, okay?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“I’m serious.”
“Fine. Whatever. Just get on with it.”
“Before I came out here last month, I got sick. I ended up going to the doctor, and he gave me antibiotics. The only problem with them is that they fuck up birth control. I forgot that.” I sighed. “I’m pregnant, Adam. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I am. I know you probably hate me more than ever for it, but I can’t change anything. And…there’s something else. We had sex that night, but I had sex with someone else shortly after. I don’t know if it’s his or yours. I won’t know until the baby is born.”
He stared at me.
Then, he stared some more.
I fidgeted as I waited for him to say something, anything.
“Adam, talk to me, please.” I hated how desperate my voice sounded.
“You’re pregnant,” he said, his eyes never leaving mine. They looked empty, like he wasn’t even really with me.
I wasn’t sure if it was because he was in shock or something else.
“I’m not asking for anything from you. I know what Hilary did to you, and I would never do that. I understand if you want nothing to do with this child, but Chloe thought you needed to know.”
“Chloe thought I needed to know?” he asked, finally breaking from his stupor. “And what about you? Did you think I needed to know?”
I looked away. “I hadn’t decided yet, but she made me tell you.”
“Jesus Christ!” he exploded. “You’re carrying my kid, and you thought I didn’t need to know?”
“I don’t know if it’s yours! I would never expect you to take care of me like you did with her. I didn’t do this to trap you or whatever it is you’re thinking. It was an accident.”
“I don’t give a fuck if it’s mine or not! I have a right to know!” he shouted.
“I’m sorry. I thought you’d tell me to get lost. I know how much you hate me.”
“Goddamn it, Amber! This isn’t about you! It’s about that baby,” he growled. “Have you told the other asshole?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“And?” he asked.
I dropped down onto the bed. I wasn’t sure if my legs could support me any longer. “He didn’t take it well. He doesn’t want anything to do with the baby, even if it’s his.”
Adam’s nostrils flared. “Fucker.”
“It’s not all his fault.” I hesitated, knowing I was about to dig my grave even deeper. “He’s married. I doubt his wife would be cool if I moved into their spare room.”
Adam’s mouth dropped open in shock. “The motherfucker is married, but he decided to sleep with you. Then, he decided he wanted nothing to do with…” He ran his hands over his face. “I want to fucking kill him, and I don’t even know who he is.”
I sighed. “It doesn’t matter. I can take care of myself. At least he knows, and now, you do, too. I don’t have that on my conscious any longer. I can go back home and figure out where to go from there.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked.
I rolled my eyes. “I have to find a doctor, tell my parents, and figure out what the hell I need to raise a baby. Besides the doctor, I have no idea how to go about any of that.”
“You’re not going back to Morgantown,” he said furiously.
“What?”
“You’re not going back. You’re staying here with me. That could be my child you’re carrying, and I’m not going to just let you walk away with it.”
“I…you…” I sputtered, unable to form a coherent sentence.
“You’ll stay with me, and we’ll figure out all that shit together.”
“But you hate me!” I blurted out.
“It doesn’t matter what I think of you. If that kid’s mine, I’m taking care of it. I want to be there for everything—every doctor’s appointment, every ultrasound, the first time he kicks…all of it.”
The emotion in his voice surprised me.
“He?” I asked.
He grinned. I almost fell over in shock.
“Of course it’s a he.”
I shook my head. “Adam, this isn’t something to just jump into. We’ll have to see each other constantly, especially if you expect me to stay with you. How well do you think that’s going to go?”
He shrugged. “We’ll figure it out as we go.”
“And what happens if once he’s born, you find out you’re not the father?”
“Like I said, we’ll figure it out as we go.”
I felt tears welling up in my eyes. “You’re really going to help me, aren’t you?”
He looked uncomfortable as tears slipped down my cheeks. “Of course I am.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, my body sagging in relief. I hadn’t realized just how terrified I was of doing everything on my own.
“Hey, don’t cry.” He walked over and knelt down in front of me. “Living with me won’t be that bad.”
I smiled through my tears. “That’s debatable.” My smile disappeared as I stared at him. “Can we try to get along? Can we be…friends again? I don’t know if I can do this with you if we aren’t.”
He studied me for a moment. “Yeah, we can be friends.”
I wrapped my arms around him, taking both of us by surprise. “Thank you.”
He awkwardly patted me on the back. “No problem.”
“Adam?” I asked as I pulled away. “Can I ask for one more favor?”
He eyed me warily. “What?”
“I know how you are with…women. I don’t think I can handle living with you and watching you bring them home. Can you not fuck around while I’m there?”
He frowned. “I can keep it in my pants, Amber.”
“I know. I just…” I trailed off.
He sighed. “I get it. Don’t worry. I won’t mess around with anyone.”
“Thank you.”
He gave me a small smile before his eyes dropped down to my stomach, “Can I…can I touch you?”
I nodded. He reached out and pressed his hand to my lower stomach. I held my breath as I watched him.
“A baby.” He chuckled. “I’m going to be a dad.”
I smiled at him, unable to speak.
He stood and held out a hand to me. “Come on, let’s go home.”
> I never thought I’d hear him say those words to me.
Living with Adam was strange and awkward. I’d been staying here for two weeks. We no longer fought, but we weren’t talking a lot either. Adam would keep his distance, and I would do the same. I was grateful that he was helping me, and I didn’t want to push any of his boundaries. When we talked occasionally, we’d keep it simple, and neither of us would mention the past.
He would be gone a lot throughout the day, working on a new album with the band. I’d spend most days lying out on the beach and reading. I’d hated being alone in Morgantown, but here, I didn’t mind it. I knew Adam would always come home. That comforted me more than I wanted to admit.
I’d called my work and quit a week after I’d moved in with Adam. I’d hated to do it over the phone without any kind of notice, but I hadn’t had much choice. Surprisingly, Nancy hadn’t been angry. It might have been because she had been too busy gushing over the fact that I was pregnant.
Telling my mom and dad had been much, much harder. I’d told them everything, including the fact that I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that Adam was the father. They’d been angry at first, but they’d finally calmed down. Within a week of me telling them, they’d shifted from pissed to ecstatic, just like Chloe had thought they would.
Adam had paid a company to clean out my apartment. They’d shipped everything to his place. I left most of it in boxes, unable to bring myself to unpack. A part of me feared that Adam would change his mind and kick me out.
When I’d first found out I was pregnant, I’d been terrified. I hadn’t wanted a baby. The thought of a child growing inside me had literally made me ill. I would’ve done anything to change that positive test result to a negative.
Now that I wasn’t alone and I’d had time to come to terms with the fact that I would become a mother, my opinion had changed. Instead of feeling horror at the thought, I started to feel excitement. I was going to be a mom. I would have a precious life that I’d created, one that I would take care of and love. For the first time in a long time, the future didn’t seem so bleak. Even if Adam decided to turn me away, I would still have my baby. I would give it the best life I could. I would survive.
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