“Try me.”
He whipped his head around so fast, I couldn’t help but die laughing. “Girl, don’t play. People gon’ think a snake done got in the water.”
I laughed more as he flicked droplets of water from his fingers in my face. “I’m gonna go talk to my sister for a moment.”
“A’ight, baby. I’m gonna go play with Imani and Fayola so I can keep my mind off what I wanna do to you.”
I rolled my eyes playfully. “Nasty.”
He laughed as I waded to my sister. I couldn’t stop the smile that was on my face. I hadn’t been this happy in a long time. Going to America was bittersweet. While I knew I was going to make life better for my family, I still had to leave them behind. So, actually, I was wrong. This level of happiness was something I’d never felt. My jaw muscles were going to be sore before the day was over. When I got to her, she smiled brightly. She was leaning against the wall of the pool, sipping on a frozen beverage. “I didn’t think you’d be able to separate from Haji’s fine ass long enough to come talk to me.”
“Oh, hush. I’m so excited y’all are coming,” I said as I hugged her tightly.
“You! I’m beyond excited. It’s been hard trying to take care of Mama. She’s so hardheaded.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Well… it’s not her being hardheaded, it’s more of we can’t afford the healthy foods that she’s supposed to eat. Because the air is out at home, none of us want to even think of turning on the stove or oven. When you sent the money, I begged her to let me buy her some salads, chicken breast and things like that. She refused because she didn’t want to spend so much money on food. Maybe now with us being with you, she can relax. I feel like her diabetes and neuropathy have gotten worse because of stress. She’s retaining fluid and has high blood pressure, too.”
I rested against the side of the pool beside Daraja. “I’m sorry you’ve had the bulk of the responsibility taking care of Mama. You deserve this time to figure out what you wanna do for you. What do you wanna do? Do you have a boyfriend here that you’re leaving behind?”
“I want to be a nurse. I feel like I’m on the path to that now, helping Mama with her medicine and practically diagnosing her issues before we even get to the doctor. I’m scared to go to school, though. I know that I will, but I have anxiety about it because I’ve been out of school for seven years. I hope it doesn’t take me long to get back in the swing of things. And no, I don’t have a boyfriend. Just somebody I kick it with to get orgasms that aren’t self-motivated.”
I smiled slightly. Draping my arm over her shoulder, I said, “I hate that you were alone in caring for them. I plan to make every minute worth it. You will do well in school as long as you are focused, dedicated, and disciplined. You’re definitely smart.” I kissed her cheek, then continued, “At least you aren’t leaving love behind.”
“Taking care of Mama is already worth every minute. She’s my mother. But I look forward to following my dreams in America with my big sister.” She took a sip of her drink, then said, “I know Haji has some fine-ass friends, right?”
I chuckled and said, “Jarius is his best friend. He was in one of the wedding pictures. He took most of the pictures for us. He’s also Haji’s barber.”
“You’ll have to show me his picture again.”
“Right now, you just focus on getting in school. Have you applied for your Visa yet?”
“Yeah, for all of us.”
“Good.”
Haji brought me a frozen drink anyway and immediately noticed the expression on my face. “It’s virgin. I’ll get you drunk later once everyone retires for the night.”
I smirked at him, then said, “Thank you, baby.” Taking a sip, I looked back at him and mumbled, “Nasty ass.”
Looking at my little sister, I smiled and clinked my glass against hers. “To new beginnings.”
21
Haji
“Because he was adopted, he got a pass? I’m still confused as to why y’all never told me. What was the point in keeping it from me if Kevin already knew?”
“It was just easier not telling you. We didn’t want to have to answer all the questions that you weren’t mature enough to handle. I’m sorry, Haji. Kevin was spoiled and I know it was because I felt sorry for him. His mother left him on our doorstep overnight. We didn’t find him there until morning. Anything could have happened to him. Finding a dead baby on our doorstep would have killed me. He wasn’t a newborn, but still. He was barely ten months old. Any wild animal could have gotten ahold of him.”
“But I don’t think y’all realized how that affected me, especially Dad. While I was strong-minded and strong-willed, I still needed those pats on the back, those congratulatory moments, saying job well-done, son. It was like nothing I accomplished was good enough. That hurt. But it also made me not just turn my back on y’all, it made me turn my back on my heritage, my country. While I have no problem telling anyone where I’m from, I tried extra hard to fit in when I got to college. I submerged myself in the culture… especially the southern culture of the country.”
I ran my hand down my face as I took a deep breath. She was looking at me like she didn’t really understand and that only irritated me. My mother was a smart woman. That was her way of avoiding the conversation. She knew I would get irritated with trying to make her understand and just say forget it. That wasn’t gonna happen today. I understood why Kevin was coddled and spoiled more, but why did that mean they had to treat me like I didn’t belong? “What did what Kevin endured as a baby have to do with me?”
She lowered her head and I knew that meant she was trying to get her thoughts together. My mother was rarely one to fidget. I’d only witnessed her doing that a couple of times my entire life. It was like nothing made her nervous. When she lifted her head, she said, “We overcompensated. We saw the error of our ways with Kevin. Not that I don’t love him or that I think less of him, but I knew that he would be attached to me for probably his entire life. I… we wanted more for you… better for you. When we learned that you were a rebel, we chose to use reverse psychology on you to get you to do exactly what we wanted you to do.”
Well, ain’t that some shit. My eyebrows lifted slightly as she continued. “The more we were against you doing something, the more you wanted to do it. We were both all for you going to school in America. While we expected you to come back, we weren’t upset that you stayed. You have a good life there and we always wanted what was best for you, Haji. While our parenting style with Kevin made him weak, we wanted you to be strong. We were extremely proud of you and your dad bragged on you to all his colleagues. But we couldn’t seem to find a happy medium with the both of you, like we seemed to have with Umaru.”
I didn’t know what to think. What if the absence of their love would have broken me halfway across the world? What if I would have gotten involved in bullshit that I had no business in? Instead, I did my best to prove that I was worthy, and I still didn’t get their love. While Mama was way more affectionate and attentive than Dad, I craved more. “I don’t know if I understand that logic or if I even care to understand it. Dad is dead and I’m successful. So, I guess it worked.”
“We didn’t want you to look at Kevin any differently, but it only seemed to make y’all hate each other. Kevin thought we were gonna forget about him because of you and you felt like we didn’t care about you because of how we treated Kevin. We made a difference and didn’t see it until it was too late. I’m so sorry.”
I nodded and as I stood to leave her hotel room, she asked, “Can I ask you a question?”
Turning back to her, I said, “Yes, ma’am.”
“Did you marry Chinara because of the stipulation your dad put on your inheritance?”
Taking a deep breath, I sat next to her, opting to tell her the truth. “I asked her to marry me because of that. I was interested in getting to know her before Dad died. What I didn’t expect was to fall in love with her so quickly
. By the time we got married, I was all in. As crazy as it sounds, I love her more than I’ve ever loved anybody. So, because my intentions were skewed when I asked her to marry me the first time, I asked her again out of love. I wanted her to experience everything a bride is supposed to feel on her wedding day. She means that much to me and I know I mean a lot to her as well.”
My mama pulled me in her arms and hugged me tightly. She said repeatedly how proud of me she was and how much she loved me. Feeling her tears against my cheek caused me to pull away from her to peer into her eyes. Gently wiping her cheek, I asked, “Why are you crying?”
“Because we could have really damaged you. While we felt like we knew your personality, we could have broken you. I’m not sure why your dad stipulated that in his will for you, but we will find out soon.”
“Six months.”
“No. When we get back to the States. I’m going back with you and Chinara. Your dad has a safe deposit box in Houston. That’s where your inheritance is. I never expected you to find someone to marry. But it all turned out for the best. You found an irreplaceable love.”
I frowned slightly. “So, you could have given me my inheritance without me getting married?”
“No. But I don’t have to make you wait six months.”
She smiled at me and I smiled back at her. That was a weight lifted off my shoulders. While I wanted to help Chinara’s family, I knew that things would eventually get tough if I was spending more than what I had coming in. While I knew her dad would be searching for a job when they got to Texas, that wasn’t guaranteed. I nodded and said, “Well, come on, let’s go join everyone else for dinner. Thank you, Ma.”
“You don’t have to thank me, son. I should be thanking you for not writing us off completely. I love you.”
“I love you, too. I hate that Dad isn’t here to tell me those things himself. What did the autopsy report say anyway?”
“He had an abdominal aneurysm. There would have been nothing they could have done to stop him from bleeding out. Before the aneurysm could fully manifest itself, he had a massive heart attack as well. Turns out, he had health issues that he kept hidden from us all. So, be sure to stay in shape and get checkups, Haji.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
It felt like the relationship between my mother and me was repaired, but I still couldn’t help but wish that I would have had the same opportunity with my dad. He was so damn stubborn.
Like me.
My nerves were on ten as we traveled to Houston to see exactly what my dad had in store for me within this safety deposit box. After our wedding ceremony in Beaumont, my mama had gotten the key from the attorney. She said she could see how much I loved Chinara even then. Our second wedding ceremony in Nigeria was so lovely, it damn near moved me to tears. Chinara’s dress was stunning and she was so beautiful, she really looked like a porcelain doll. The kind you stood up on a shelf and refused to touch. But she got touched in every way imaginable that day. Even after that ceremony, we’d managed to sneak away to a private restroom and get a quickie.
I couldn’t get enough of her and she couldn’t get enough of me. At every turn, we were making nasty comments to one another, telling the other of all the sexy shit we were gonna do to each other when we got the chance. She was my lil freak and if my mama wasn’t with us, I’d stop this car right now and give it to her. She was seated in the backseat and had let my mama take the front. I didn’t agree with that, but she insisted and now I knew why. She kept sliding her nails down my neck and doing nasty shit with her tongue in my rearview mirror, teasing the fuck out of me.
We’d gotten back home two days ago and we took yesterday to recuperate from the flight. Her mama was wiped out. My mama kind of helped Chinara and Daraja take care of her. She seemed a whole lot better when we left to come to Houston today. Chinara found her some doctors to see and she had appointments all next week. They also had embassy interviews yesterday. Usually, people waited until they received their visa to come to the country, but we needed to move her mother as soon as possible.
Once we got to Bank of America, my nerves had started to kick in. I couldn’t stop wondering about what I would find. I knew there were money and jewels and possibly the keys to the house he spoke of in his will, but I was hoping there were no surprises. When we walked in, we had to be seated to wait for a representative to open the vault for us. Just more time for my nerves to be on edge. Chinara grabbed my hand and asked softly in my ear, “Do I need to take you to the restroom?”
I smirked at her, then leaned in close to her ear and gently grabbed her lobe with my teeth. “I’m always down for that shit. You know that.”
“Ms. A… bim… bola?”
“Yes.”
The rep smiled, then said, “Please follow me.”
The three of us stood and followed her behind the caged door to the safety deposit box. Dad had a pretty big box compared to the sizes we passed when we first entered the vault. As the woman began pulling it out, she said, “Oh. It’s heavy. Can you help me?”
I nodded, then helped her pull the box out and sit it on the table. “Thank you. One of you let me know when you’re done?”
“Yes, ma’am, we will,” my mama responded.
The lady left out, locking us inside so no one else could come in while we were back there. My mama inserted the key in the box, her hand steady as hell. When she turned it, the top sprang open like it was a lot of shit in there. Glancing back up at her, she smiled at me and said, “Go ahead, Haji.”
With a trembling hand, I flipped the lid up and my lips parted slightly. I could see cash, but I went straight to the envelope on top. When I grabbed it, I noticed there was another envelope beneath it. Quickly opening it, there was a letter. I had been hoping there would be some explanation as to why he did the things he did and hopefully, this letter would explain it all. There were two slips of paper. When I opened the first one, in his handwriting it read, I love you more than life, son.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, a couple of tears dropped in the process. I didn’t realize just how much it would mean to me to have heard him say that. If only a letter had me like this, then I could imagine the effect it would have had on me had he said it while he was living. Chinara gently wiped my cheek as I smiled tightly at her. Setting it to the side, I unfolded the next piece of paper. It was a much longer letter.
Haji,
Let me start by saying you are my pride and joy. Although I didn’t show it to you, everyone I dealt with in all of Salone knew just how much you meant to me. I would have moved heaven and earth for you. I was extremely hard on you and I apologize. My intent was to make sure you would be strong enough to face the challenges you would face in the world. I knew you were destined for great things and I wanted you to be able to handle it mentally. I rejoiced for every graduation and every milestone you surpassed. I hate that I didn’t show you how proud I was. I hope you can forgive me.
Setting the letter down for a moment, I allowed the tears to continue falling. This was the validation I needed from him. To know that he was so proud of me was healing to my wounded soul. After wiping my face, I continued reading.
Along with the money and jewels you see in the box, I left my business to you and your brothers. You have the option to sell your portion because you are so far away. I also know that you wanted no parts of the mines. To make sure they don’t try to cheat you, the business is worth 3.3 billion dollars.
Now, you’re probably wondering why I placed a stipulation on your inheritance. Just because you were in another country, didn’t mean that I didn’t have people checking in on you. But I’m sure you already know that from the letter the lawyer gave you. The reckless way you were sleeping around with so many women, I knew it was because you were searching for something that I didn’t give you. My stipulation was to hopefully help you find the one. The woman that would move your soul.
There was a clause in the will that if you hadn’t found your ONE within a year
that you would be granted your inheritance. I never wanted to keep what was yours from you. Besides that aspect of life, you presented yourself as a responsible adult. I suppose you were somewhat responsible in that area as well, since you didn’t have children all over the place.
Enjoy your money and wealth, son. For the trouble, I left you an extra million. Don’t tell your brothers. I feel like my legacy will live on through you, but don’t make the same mistakes I made with your children. Be firm but show them love, too. I love you so much and again, I’m sorry for making you feel unworthy.
Your proud father,
Ense Abimbola
P.S.- The keys and address to your estate are in the bag with the jewels.
When I finished reading, I had to sit for a moment with my thoughts. It was a lot to digest. To be able to accept his love after he was no longer here was difficult. I didn’t want to have to finally grieve his absence, but I succumbed. The emotions I should have felt when he died all bombarded me at once and I found myself crying audibly for the first time as an adult. Chinara rushed over to me and hugged me tightly as my mama smiled. I believed she knew everything that letter said, but she would never admit that to me.
After pulling myself together, I went back to the box. When I opened the other envelope, there were eight cashier’s checks, each two hundred fifty thousand dollars. Most banks only insured accounts up to that amount, so I understood why he split the money that way. There was also twenty thousand in cash and a black velvet bag that contained diamonds and nuggets of gold. The keys to my new house was in there as well, just as he stated. I was so overwhelmed, I just stood there for a moment. Chinara walked over to me and asked, “You okay, baby?”
“Yeah. Let’s put this in your purse and get out of here.”
As my mama approached, I pulled her in my arms and hugged her tightly. Feeling the tremble, I knew she was somewhat sensitive right now. This was the man she’d loved for over forty years. “Thank you for bringing me here. It gave me closure and a new respect for my father. It also help me release forgiveness for him. I love you.”
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