He smiled as he remembered how easy it had been to get Aurora to trust him and tell him everything about her best friend. As he appeared to comfort her, she told him all about Elizabeth’s memory problems and her resent obsession with regaining what she couldn’t remember. After that morning with Aurora, Roger started to formulate a new plan, hell he could be flexible, he thought, as he leaned back in the black leather chair he sat in, his feet resting up on the large oak desk in front of him.
A picture of two blonde teen-age girls smiling innocently from a framed picture on the desk distracted him from Elizabeth and Aurora. As he reached over to pick it up, a small humorless smile lifted the corner of his lips. “Girls!” He thought as he ran a light finger along the glass in the frame, thinking of the little secret they had from their mother and all the leverage it gave him, if needed.
The door just adjacent to the desk opened as he replaced the photo to its original location leaned back into the leather to casually watch a trim woman, in her mid-forties, walk in. Her figure was almost obscured in a chic black business suit. Dark hair was pulled up and away from a face with high cheekbones and the full luscious lips hinted towards her beauty. Her eyes hidden behind glasses resting on the bridge of her nose, she looked down at a file folder in her hands. Her eyes never looking up as she lifted a foot to close the door behind her.
Roger watched all this with amused interest, “Hello, Sara.” He said, his smile broadened when she dropped the papers she had been reading onto the floor.
“Roger?! You scared the hell out of me.” She said, a flash of anger crossed her face, just before she leaned down to pick up the papers.
He cringed as he swung his legs down from the desk to help her pick up the papers scattered along the floor. A realization hit him that he would most likely have to do a bit of smoothing over to get what he needed as he admired her strength and composure as she gathered up her papers.
All his old emotions for her came back as he followed the movement of her long graceful hands, his body reacting instinctively to the memory of them. His fingers itched to pull the pins from her tightly wrapped hair. Feeling a strong desire to feel the silk of it fill his hands once more,“I’ve missed you babes.” He said, the remark strangely true.
At the same time, he remembered the intelligence hidden behind her strikingly good looks and her professional attire. Knowing, that if she was different, he would have brought her into his world.
His thoughts then went to the first time he had seen her again, a good year after Lily was gone and Julia had disappeared off the radar. He had been sitting at a local hot spot and saw her walk in with two young girls; the same ones who now are teenagers and, he was sure, giving their mother hell.
He had known at that moment that if he could pull off his new identity with Sara, his old psychiatrist from his years in a state mental institute, then he could fool anyone. He can still remember the rush of emotions he had felt, that day, as he approached her. Pleased, then disappointed with her lack of recognition.
Confused with the conflict of emotions he had felt, he had decided to pursue it further. Until, Sara had become an intoxicating drug of danger, as he found himself always on the verge of discovery with her uncanny ability to read people and natural talent to extract secrets they kept even from themselves. The game had been exhilarating. It had finally ended when she became more than just a simple game; instead he had found himself desiring something more. Yet, knowing with her, it never could be a possibility.
Roger sighed as he walked up behind her, his arms reaching around as he skimmed his lips along her long swan neck. A surge of desire coursed through him like an old familiar drug, when her head fell slightly away to give him more access, his hands pulled her closer to his body. “Did you miss me babes?” He asked softly as his teeth nibble at an earlobe.
Getting his answer when he felt her stiffen in his arms as an elbow dug into his ribs. “Get the hell away from me.” She said, her voice cold.
Roger stepped back as he lifted his arms, indicating his compliance.
“What do you want?” She asked as she turned around, anger flashing daggers at him.
“Now...Sara. Don’t be like that. I told you I’ve missed you.”
Sara rolled her eyes in disbelief as she walked around the desk. “Roger, you can just turn off all that suave golden eyes shit with me. I know you a little better than that. There is something you want...” She said as she sat down in the chair Roger had just evacuated. Crossing her legs as she leaned back with raised eyebrows. “So… lets just lay it all on the table and forget all about the pussy footing around. Because I’m not in the mood for your games right now.”
Roger chuckled when he sat on one of the two chairs in front of the desk, his legs crossing just before he leaned back. He felt intoxicated with her uncanny ability to read him, which was invigorating. Yes, he had known by just walking through her door once more, he had been risking being drawn into the cat and mouse game he loved to play with her. Letting her see, yet not see who he was, the line fine and delicate. “How are your girls?”
Sara smiled at him and her eyes gave him nothing as she tapped a polished fingernail against her chin as she watched him. Then she shook her head negatively and replied, “No...that’s not what you want to know. Try again.”
“I told you babes. I’ve missed you.”
“Yes...I do believe you did on some level. But, that’s still not why you stopped in today. So, lets try again.”
Roger’s smile broadened in appreciation of her quick intelligent mind at work, knowing during this whole casual interaction she had been analyzing him, reading him like no one else could. That was the only reason he had risked being drawn back into this game, her intelligence and knowledge of the human mind. Knowing she could give him inside answers no book ever could on how to deal with the new situation he had been placed into with Elizabeth’s amnesia. “Are you psycho analyzing me?” He asked with a chuckle.
“What do you think?”
“Oh, I’m sure you know what I think.” He said as he proceeded around the desk to lean a hip against the desk and smiling when her eyes skimmed his body before looking away quickly.
He heard her let out a stream of air just before she stood to look out the window, overlooking a small garden. “Roger, I’ve moved on.”’
“I’m sure you have.” He said as he walked up behind her, running a finger along her arm, pleased when she didn’t brush it away. Encouraged, he stepped even closer, her arms soft as he pulled her up against his body. “I wouldn’t have expected anything less.”
“Then, why have you come?”
“I told you...” He said his lips brushing her neck once more. “I missed you. Besides you’ve always known that my job could take me away at a moment’s notice.” Playing on the cover story he had given her before - that he was a secret government agent. Something he had come up with when she had caught him wining and dining a client under a different name than she knew. At first she hadn’t trusted him, but he had produced some fabricated evidence to convince her otherwise.
“And there was no way you could tell me that you have been called out on assignment?”
“It was sudden. But, now I’m back.”
“And what do you expect me to do about it?”
“Nothing.” He said as he turned her so they are face to face. His finger skimmed her face as he watched her eyes flutter in response, knowing instinctively what to do for his desired effect. His thumb brushed her full lips a moment before his lips followed, pleased with her response. Roger pulled her closer, the need to feel her against him once more strong. Their physical chemistry unmistakable as he lost himself in her softness, her hair releasing from the pins and spilling around them in a curtain of silk. Forgetting for a few moments his bitter past and who he was. Remembering, instead, her intoxicating affect on him and why he had spared her, the sp
ort of her exhilarating.
Sitting up on the sofa, Roger pulled Sara up further against his chest. “Does he do that for you?”
“This can’t happen again?” She said as she brushed a finger along his arm.
“I can’t make promises, I can’t keep.”
Her hand paused a moment, at the words, before continuing again. “Roger? What is the real reason you came to my office today?”
Roger chuckled as he brushed her hair back from her forehead. “Are we back to that again?”
“Yes, we are. And we will continue to be, until you give me an answer I believe.”
“Okay, I give. But, it truly wasn’t the only reason I came today to see you. It was instead an excellent excuse to see you again. Besides…do you know how often I have thought of you, as I was away on assignment?” He asked letting the question hang in the air for a moment before he continued. “I could have gone to any expert for the information I need. But, I would much rather be holding you like this, as I obtain the boring information.” He said as he kissed the top of her head.
Sara laughed as she turned her head to look up at him. “Darling, I don’t believe anything you do is boring. But, how often?” she asked, her eyes sparkling.
Roger smiled as he leaned down to kiss her swollen lips, the sight of them irresistible. “Just about ever day.” He said against her lips, stretching the truth to keep her off balance from reading into too much of what he was about to ask.
After a few moments, Sara pulled away her eyes watched him as she brushed her lips. “If it’s so dull and boring. Why am I jumping through hoops to get a straight answer from you?” She asked as she moved away from him.
Roger halted her movement away from him. “Because, when I saw you...I realized how much I missed you... and this.” He said as he skimmed a finger along her breast.
“Did that scare you?”
“A little.” He said without thought, then surprised when he heard the words escape his lips. Further surprised with the strange comfort it brought him. But reality settled around him as he collected this emotion knowing that it only made him clumsy with his thoughts and words and that could not happened if he was to maintain the security of his future. He chuckled to cover his own shock with his confession. “Now...can you stop analyzing me.”
Sara laughed, “I’m sorry. It’s a habit. So...tell me your boring interest in seeing me today.”
“Well, I have a...client. That claims to have amnesia and I was wondering if you could give me some inside into it.”
“Amnesia? That’s a pretty rare thing to have. Who is this client?”
“You know I can’t talk about my work.”
“Haven’t you just done just that?”
“No.” He said with a chuckle, enjoying how she kept him constantly on his toes, always on his game. “I haven’t told you anything about them. But, that I need to know if I’m being played on not.”
“Well, I couldn’t tell you that unless I actually meet with this so called individual. What I can say is when I worked in the mental institute there was many patients that claimed amnesia to get out of a murder rap. But, after a few sessions I was able to flush them out. I have actually only treated a few cases that were legitimate.”
“Okay. Lets play devil’s advocate. Lets say this person actually has amnesia. How can they get their memories back?”
“Now, that is tricky. Because, some people never get it back fully.”
“Let’s say it can be retrieved. What can be done to help it along?”
“Well, you don’t want to force it. If forced, sometimes you can force the memory even deeper.”
“So, what can I do without...jeopardizing the memory?”
“Sometimes, a familiar sound, smell or even a place can bring it back. Your mind is very complex and tricky, and all of this should be done slowly so no lasting damage is done. Roger, you really need a professional to help you with this.”
“That’s not an option.” He said abruptly, as he pushed Sara away. Becoming frustrated with his lack of understanding with this new twist and slowly discovering it was not going to be as easy as he first thought. He pulled his jeans on over his hips as he snatched up his shirt.
“I could help?” Sara said a hesitant note to her voice. “I could see this person unofficially, without paperwork if that would help.”
“It’s more complicating than that.” He said, as he turned back to her.
“Why, can’t your government officials help? I’m sure they have professional people on staff that could help you in this manner.”
“It’s a very delicate situation.” He said with a smile as he leaned down to brush her lips with his. “I do appreciate your offer of help. But, I got the answers I need. Thank you.”
“So, that’s, that, then. Right? You got what you need and now you are just going to go on your way?” She asked, with a raised eyebrow.
“Sara, don’t be like that. I told you I’m on assignment right now, it’s too risky to be seen with anyone. Besides, I don’t want to put you or your daughters in danger. As a matter of fact, I was taking a chance today coming to see you.”
“Roger, why? What have you gotten yourself into?”
“It’s nothing I can’t handle. Now, take that frown off your face and don’t worry. I was trained for this. Now...what I really need you to do is forget that I was ever here.” He said as he ran a hand along her face, his thumb skimming her forehead in an attempt to erase the worry lines there. “As I said, this is a delicate situation I’m involved in with some unforgiving individuals who wouldn’t hesitate to do harm to not only you but your girls also.” Roger said, not wanting her to have the same fate as Lily, those many years before. He was hoping with the threat against her girls, she would be deterred from further investigating whatever he was up too. Knowing before he had even walked into the door, he ran the risk of peeking her interest further into who he really was.
Yet if she did, he wouldn’t hesitate to protect himself, no matter what it takes.
“Fine, fine. I never saw you.” She said with hesitation.
The words filled Roger with a tentative feeling of relief. Not completely trusting her, but willing to give her the benefit of the doubt for now.
Chapter 15
Elizabeth woke the next morning with more determination then ever to find the answers to her past. The call from the night before shattered any abstract illusion she may have had. Instead, it had given her a sense of urgency while she rushed through her morning routine with a mixture of fear and eagerness driving her forward to learn what had been forgotten.
The sun was bright and high in the sky by the time she entered through the doors of the elegant library. Smiling at the same boy from the day before, she noticed that his t-shirt, changed, had another quirky saying “Look beyond the facade of beauty. Personality is the root of all things.”
“Hi, remember me? I had you pull forward information for me from nine years ago.”
“Yeah, I remember. I’ll retrieve your information for you, just put in this password and it’ll bring up your research material.” He said in a bored manner, indicating the direction with a flick of his wrist.
“Thank you,” Elizabeth said, as she took the piece of paper with the scribbled password on it. The sight of the combination of letter and numbers gave her a quick flash of uncertainty at what she may find. Her thumb skimmed the sequence that could open up a world of abstract information for her to solve and piece together, or it could give her nothing but empty hope.
Elizabeth shook her head from her random thoughts, knowing that what she was looking for could have already come and gone without her knowledge. Her thoughts focused on of all the long hours she spent the day before as she looked through articles which elicited no small trigger of any kind of her lost memories.
For all she knew this wa
s a waste of time. Elizabeth attempted to shake the negative thoughts away as she thanked the young boy once more before she turned towards the stairs in hopes of getting back what she had lost, her steps a combination of hesitation and determination.
Elizabeth sighed when she reached the top of the stairs, her eyes skimming the first floor in hopes of seeing Leo. He had promised to meet up with her and give her hints and tips on sorting the monstrous amount of information she needed to go through.
Then in an unexpected flash, the gypsy from the first night in New Orleans popped into her head, her mysteries strange words of meeting a man that would help her discover that which she had lost. She was filled with a surprise feeling of hope even though she still found the old woman’s words of mumble jumble strange and frighteningly surreal. But, it also brought on a feeling of excitement with the possibility of Leo. Her heart fluttered with the memory of his arms around her and her hands fluttering across his finely tuned chest. Elizabeth smiled as she shook off the feeling and walked over to a small three-sided cubicle which was designed to give one the opportunity to look at things in privacy.
After a few hours, a pain started just behind Elizabeth eyes, the glare of the monitor screen blurred as she sat back. Elizabeth closed her eyes as she pinched the bridge of her nose in an attempt to relieve the pain, frustrated with the lack of progress in the search for answers.
Elizabeth glanced down at her watch as her thoughts strayed to Leo, the time showing almost noon. Frustrated with herself for counting on a stranger she had just met, she had just had such high hopes when he said he would meet up with her.
She stood up from the cubicle, the ache at the base of her back needing relief from her hunched over position, her steps taking her to the railing that overlooked the main floor of the library. The activity was a pleasant distraction as she watched a couple of teenagers sitting at a far table, their bodies close as they looked over a book. After a few moments, Elizabeth started to feel like a peeping Tom when she saw the girl glance up to catch her watching.
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