“No, I don’t,” Elizabeth said casually, as she brushed his words aside, strolling towards the bathroom and calling over her shoulder, “Sorry about the sloppiness, I usually wrote the words down quickly before I forgot.” Her words to Leo not reflecting her inner turmoil. When she stepped into the secluded bathroom, she leaned heavily against the door, her eyes drawn to her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes reflected a look of panic, in contrast to her flushed cheeks.
The shower left her feeling refreshed as she stopped out into the sitting area where Leo sat looking at the pages of her journal. Her heart stopped at the sight as her arms hugged her mid-riff watching him work. Her desire for him overshadowed all apprehensions of what he was seeing in her words on paper. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he scribbles notes on a separate piece of paper and he flipped the pages.
Elizabeth’s breath caught in her throat when he looked up from his notes, his green eyes seemed to pierce her with their intensity as they sent shock waves of pleasure through her. Pushing away from the wall, she smiled as she slowly walks further into the room, “Finding anything?”
Leo lifted up her notebook as he waved it at her, “This is very interesting. Your dreams are very vivid.”
“You don’t have to tell me that. I live them almost every night.” Pointing to the notepad he was writing on, “What are you writing?”
“Similarities between your dreams and your memories.” Patting the seat next to him, as he picked up a picture, “Elizabeth, who is this with you?”
Sitting down, Elizabeth smiled as she took the picture. “That is my mother. Where did you get this?”
“Over there on the floor.” He answered with a strange look on his face.
“I wonder how it got there?” Elizabeth said, then remembering her purse dumping over the other day.
“She’s beautiful,” Leo said casually.
“Yes, she is,” She said absently as she brushed up against him to get a better look at his notes. The words written clearly and well organized,’What is the significance of the weeping willow? Mentioned several times in dreams. Who is the woman? Mother told Elizabeth that the woman was a nanny. She seems more significant than this.’ This last comment underlined, ‘Where is the mention of Elizabeth’s mother in all of this? Why does Elizabeth keep seeing a woman similar to herself? Connection? Projection?’
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at the last question written, pointing to it. “I have recently started to think about this myself.” She said with a small smile “I been wondering if I am projecting myself into the dream, inadvertently protecting the woman who always seemed to help me in my dreams and visions.”
“Elizabeth?” His voice hesitant.
“What’s wrong?” Elizabeth asked, the tone of his voice concerning, a sense of fear filled her suddenly, as if an emotional bomb was about to drop on her life once more.
Leo rubbed his hands through his hair, a slow stream of air released from his lips, as he looked at her with an uncertain look “Can you do me a favor and write down what you told me in the coffee shop. I need to know precisely, or as well as you can remember, what your mother has told you about the years you can’t remember.”
“Did you figure something out?” Elizabeth asked hesitantly, suddenly nervous with the unknown possible answer.
Leo paused, “I need to find out something first before I can say.”
“Leo, if it involves me, I think you need to tell me, now.”
“I will, baby,” He said as he leaned forward, kissing her softly. “But, can you get me this information first?”
“Fine. But I don’t like things kept from me. There is enough I can’t remember, and am never told, without you doing the same thing.”
“I know and I will tell you.”
“Fine,” Elizabeth said as she wrapped her arm around Leo’s arm, trusting his judgment as she pulled him closer to feel his muscles move under his skin as she rested her cheek on it. Feeling safe and secure, she reread her journal, seeing the words differently as she read his interpretation of them until she found herself becoming more puzzled the more she read, “Leo how much of my dreams and memories can we trust as truths? I mean they seem a little far fetched at times.”
“Actually, there is quite a bit you can get from dreams. Ever since we talked that first time in the coffee shop, I have been researching the subject of dreams. The one thing that is mentioned in all my findings is that every molecule of the dream can be important. Such as, if you see someone floating or even if you are floating it can imply different things. Let’s take for example this dream where you are flying weightless on a wood swing and a woman is floating in front of you. This can represent a feeling of freedom, where you originally felt restricted or limited. Your mother has always restrained you from exploring your past. In your dreams, your subconscious can freely explore this part of your life, which has been buried and forgotten. What we need to do is take this and interpret these images and figure out what your beautiful brain is trying to tell us,” Leo said with a chuckle, leaning forward to kiss Elizabeth. “That is the reason I asked for you to write not only what happens in the dreams, but how you were feeling.”
“So this is good, what I’ve written then?”
Leo paused, “I hope so. I’m by no means an expert on dreams. I’m learning as I go along. I still would love you to talk to a psychiatrist friend of mine, who has worked with the state to sometimes disprove amnesia cases. I think she would be very beneficial to us.”
Elizabeth sat back, her heart skipping a beat as she considered Leo’s suggestion. She realized that time was starting to run out for her and if she couldn’t come up with some answers soon, that it could be, she hated to say, her life. Somehow she knew this, knew that what had started out so simple to retrieve what she believed was a traumatic event in her life to feel whole, she was discovering it was so much more than that. Furthermore, for her to beat her past, she must first face and confront her past.
What Elizabeth can’t understand was this man playing this game. This stranger who was not a stranger teasing her with brief encounters, playing with her mind, so she felt at times she was seeing, hearing things. She could sense him taunting her to remember, to make the first move, seeing what she will do. She could feel this, sense it with all her being, forcing her to face her past, which was revealing itself to her in jagged pieces, pieces that were a jumble of emotions and images that made little sense.
Elizabeth swung her legs around as she jumped up from the couch, her mind restless with all the unanswered questions. She had finally made her decision and there would be no turning back for her. She knelt down in front of Leo as she took the pen out of his hand. “Leo, I’ve decided that if I don’t find any answers today at the library, I want to meet this friend of yours. I want to be put under hypnosis, even though it scares the shit out of me.”
Leo’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “What brought this on?”
Elizabeth stood as she rubbed her hands together in a nervous gesture, her mind attempting to formulate her fanatical mad thoughts. She turned back to Leo, who was watching her with a patient curiosity, “I believe I’m starting to run out of time. And researching all of this....” She said as she waved to the pages spread out in front of Leo. “Interpreting it, it all takes time, time I don’t believe I have, and then I’m still not guaranteed any answers. I just feel like if I don’t figure out before this man gets impatient that....”
“That what?”
“I don’t know?” Elizabeth said in frustration. “I just have this gut feeling that even if I just leave, that he will track me down and not let me just live my life like before. I truly believe that by coming to New Orleans I started a chain of events that must be played out.” She said, now in desperation as she looked over at Leo.
“I agree.” He said with an affirmative nod. “So we have a plan of action then. Y
ou go to the library and I will attempt to contact my friend.” Leo lifted his hand as he saw Elizabeth start to talk again, “And tell her that we may need her help and if she will be available…that is all.”
“Okay.” She said as she sat down on the coffee table, Indian-style her hands, reaching forward for Leo’s . “It is settled, I don’t have any other choice anymore...to be careful that is. I need to find out who this man is before he decides he doesn’t need what I can give him after all. And at that time I really, really don’t what to know what will happen.” She said with a nervous sigh. “If my memories are serving me correctly, this man is a very dangerous person. And eventually, I will remember what he does or doesn’t want me to know and I know he knows this.”
Leo took a hold of Elizabeth’s thighs as he slid her closer, his warm rough hands cupping her face as he looked pointedly into her eyes. “I, unfortunately, agree.” He said as his head fell forward so his forehead rested on hers, his voice dropping to a soft whisper, as he emphasized, “Don’t worry, I will make sure nothing happens to you.”
“Fine. Fine,” Elizabeth said as she pulled back, her eyes drawn to the worry lines edged in his brow, her fingers following her eyes, as she rubbed the lines with the tips of them. A feeling of sadness overcame her as she realized that it was she who most likely put the lines there.
Although they had only known each other for such a short time, Elizabeth was feeling as though she has known Leo for more than an eternity. If there was such a thing as soul mates she had found hers, right here in New Orleans, helping her to clean up a lifetime of complicated messes. If she was told that a person could live multiple lives and in each life find that one true love again, then she had found her one true love once again.
“Thank you,” Elizabeth sighed, against his warm lips, her lips lingering softly against his as she said, “I’m so lucky I found you.” A strange look passed over Leo’s face, before it quickly disappeared, giving Elizabeth a moment of uncertainty before she quickly brushed it aside, telling herself it was just her imagination.
Chapter 19
Elizabeth walked through the doors of the library with a crisp, upbeat step. She felt better with a plan in place giving her a sense of purpose and hope. Her days of fumbling in the dark were soon to be gone, she just knew that she was ready and once she was put under, she would be able to remember even with how terrifying the thought was. Today was just a formality, one last attempt before she took that final step.
Elizabeth smiled at Tim, the library clerk who had been so helpful to her throughout this process so far. She had enjoyed getting to know him better as the week had grown long, especially after talking to Gloria, one of the librarian assistants, who told Elizabeth about a head injury Tim had suffered a few years back. This changed his personality, making it difficult for him to meet new people and interact on a social level. The accident affected his brain in that he is now easily confused and frustrated with interpreting peoples’ actions.
Gloria had told Elizabeth that before the accident he had been classified as a genius with computers and this was the one ability he didn’t loose. He knew his way around the computer better than anyone, making it possible for him to find information quickly and efficiently.
After learning this, she saw herself somewhat in Tim, with her own memory loss and wondered if she had been a different person before her accident.
“Morning, Tim. How are you this morning?”
“I’m doing good this morning, Ms. Elizabeth, I talked to that girl like you suggested.”
Elizabeth cringed at the formal greeting, since they were actually very similar in age. But, mostly she felt excited for him as she leaned forward, “And?”
Tim blushed with nervous excitement, “She has agreed to go dancing with me.”
“I told you. Didn’t I? You’ll never get anywhere if you don’t take those risks. Now, lean back, I want to see what saying you have today.” The t-shirt read ‘Stud Muffin’ in simple block letters edged in white on the black tee. “I like it, I think you should market your designs. I’m sure there would be a big market for your saying.”
His smile grew under the compliment as he shuffled self-consciously, “I had Gloria set up your material, just as you like it.”
“Thank you, Tim.” Elizabeth said with a smile, “I’m just going to head over there now.”
Tim nodded as he looked down, then he looked back up quickly. “Ms. Elizabeth, before you go, I almost forgot to tell you. That man you have been spending all that time with wanted me to tell him if anyone came around asking about you.”
Elizabeth frowned at the comment, “Leo, told you this?”
“Yes, that is his name. Well anyways there was someone here earlier today that was asking a lot of questions about you.”
Elizabeth’s heart stopped for a moment knowing only one person would be asking about her. “What did you tell him?”
“Nothing,” Tim said casually, “he was really smooth and wanted to take a look at what you were researching. But I told him that only you could show him that.” Then his voice became low as he leaned forward. “I didn’t trust him.”
Elizabeth gave an absent smile at the comment as her mind raced with how bold he seemed to becoming, “Do you remember what he looked like?” Elizabeth asked breathlessly.
“Yeah, I do. I’m really good with faces. He was a white guy in his forties, I think. He was about six..six-two with a good build.” Tim paused a moment as he looked back at Elizabeth, “You know what? I bet he goes to the gym. He looked like someone that would go to a gym, or maybe had a personal trainer. He looked like he would have money for that sort of thing.”
Elizabeth raised her hand to stop his words, “Tim, please it’s really important that I find out what he looked like. Can we keep it more simple.”
A quick flash of irritation crossed his face that gave Elizabeth a pang of guilt at her careless comment but her anxiety overrode her concern at the moment. “Fine,” He said through clenched teeth, as he continued impatiently, “As I was saying, he was dressed like he had money, expensive jeans, black turtle neck, gold Rolex watch and not a fake one either. I can tell the fakes.” He emphasized, “his hair short and brown. Oh, and there was a scar on his face.” Tim drew a cut along his right cheek with his finger. “And his eyes....”
“A dark brown,” Elizabeth finished the sentence for Tim.
“Yeah. Almost black, never seen eyes that dark. Hey, do you know him then?”
“It’s hard to explain, but yeah, I do believe I know him,” Elizabeth said absently, her thoughts going to his face which Tim described exactly, as in her memories.
“You know Ms. Elizabeth I had seen him in here before today.”
Elizabeth heart stopped at the casual comment as she asked, “When?”
“Just a couple of times since you have been coming here, as a matter of fact, I had seen him looking at you but I just figured he had a crush on you. I didn’t say anything earlier because I didn’t want to upset your man friend…because I like him. Your man friend that is, not the other creepy, stalking man.” He said with a slight shiver. “He was a little bit creepy.”
Elizabeth nodded in agreement, “Well, I appreciate everything you just told me Tim, you have been a great help with everything you remembered.” She told him with a forced smile, her carefree feeling from earlier evaporated. “I’m sorry for being so…forceful earlier. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything.”
Once satisfied that he accepted her apology, Elizabeth walked up the stairs slowly, her mind barely registering the steps. Her emotions were now a strange mixture of relief and horror combined. Relief that someone else had seen him besides herself, knowing she wasn’t just imagining him, not realizing until this moment it was something she had feared and horror that he was now getting more bolder and making himself known to others, showed an impatience that co
uld be dangerous. How she knew this was still a mystery to her, she just knew things like this instinctively.
Absently, Elizabeth moved the lever on the viewer half heartily as she searched the everyday activities of the area.
Her mind played against her, as she kept seeing the face of the man in her vision, his dark brown almost black eyes flashing maliciously as a small smile curled on his lips. His piercing eyes seemed to look through the seams of her mind to touch her coldly. Elizabeth felt the lump that had started in her throat start to close in, she just had figured out how she knew this man was so dangerous. What had happened to her, that she could only remember that he was extremely dangerous?
“Damn it, what is his name?”She knew that if she had a name, she could figure out the game. Elizabeth could feel time slipping through her fingers, as he grew closer. The articles blurred as she looked beyond the screen, attempting to evoke a memory so she could possibly remember what had happened. But, unfortunately, as always happens, the more she forced the memory, the more her mind wanted to close off once more, only showing her glimpses when it chose. All of it reconfirming her decision for hypnosis.
Using sheer will, Elizabeth shook loose the face that consumed her mind, distracting her.and focused once more on the screen where it had paused on a picture of a woman and a child.
The significance of this not taking hold at first, but then it seemed to slap her across the face. The shock wakened a memory so clear, she would taste the dirt on her face, feel the cool rain wash over her, cleansing her as a light blinded her. The woman in the picture stood over her, rain dripped from her hood of her coat, her face slightly obscured but Elizabeth knew it was the woman in the picture in front of her. Elizabeth sat as she realized it was on the night that she had lost her memory, this vision she was seeing, it was the beginning of her search, the end of a life.
Elizabeth felt her mind slowly release this memory as a hum started in her ears, the shock of the contents sank in. Elizabeth leaned forward to read the words not believing them, then rereading them over and over until the words blended as one. She could hear the words ringing clear, as if read to her from a distance. The picture that stared back at her a confirmation her greatest fear.
Secrets of the Weeping Willow Page 15