A surprise look crossed Sara’s face.
You saw him watching you through a telescope? How far away were you?”
Elizabeth became flustered, “I’m sorry. I’m going about this all-wrong. I didn’t actually see him, I sensed him. I know it sounds crazy. But I had a sense I was being watched and when I looked around, I saw a person step away from a telescope. I knew he was watching me. I don’t know how.... but I did.” She finished, afraid to look at Sara.
“It doesn’t sound crazy. We often have a sixth sense of what is around us. But most people have learned to ignore it,” Sara said reassuringly.
“Well anyways, later that night Aurora and I decided to go check out the party, Mardi Gras. I mean that was the main reason we came to New Orleans. Not for all of this…okay some of it.” Elizabeth said, as she leaned back on the couch, closing her eyes as she remembered, “It was at this time that I found out.. That what I had forgotten.... was more dangerous than I knew.”
Sara’s voice was soft and encouraging as it broke through the cloud of uncertainty racing through Elizabeth’s mind, “What happened?”
Opening her eyes, Elizabeth looked over, “He came up behind me and whispered into my ear, ‘I like what you did do your hair. But I liked it just fine before.’” She shivered at the memory, as she sat back up straighter, “You see, my friend cut it that night before we went out. No one had seen it before we walked out the door. But, it wasn’t just that. I recognized the voice....” rubbing her arms with the memory, “it sent fear through me that was indescribable.”
“And you feel he could have played a significant role in your memory loss?”
“Oh yes, now more than ever. I believe he plays a huge part in the whole picture,” Elizabeth said as she watched Sara, whose face remained neutral of all emotions.
“Can you tell me about your dreams?”
“My dreams. What can I say about them, they have always been a part of who I am as far back as I can recall.” Elizabeth said with a chuckle at the irony of the comment. “But… seriously they were always quickly forgotten once I woke up, they became…distant visions if I didn’t think about it, they receded to where I didn’t have to look at them. Once, I arrived in New Orleans they became more vivid, intense. I felt like they were controlling me, pushing me forward instead of me controlling them.” Looking up hesitantly, “I’m not sure, if me coming here has anything to do with them becoming more intense but from what I have gathered, a familiar place can trigger the return of a memory.” Elizabeth paused, “And if I am being honest…this is the reason I am here. I saw a program on television that talked about New Orleans and the history of the Mardi Gras parades and celebration. When I saw this program I had my first waking vision, so this whole idea about coming here to celebrate my birthday was in a way, a ruse, to come here and see if it was true…that a familiar place could trigger my memory, even though I was told that I had never been here I felt this unimaginable draw to this place.” Elizabeth said as she looked back up. “So, is it true…what I read that a familiar place can recover a memory?’
Sara rested her arms on the arms of the chair, “Yes it can.” She said with a nod.
Elizabeth frowned, “Well… anyways, since I have arrived not only have my dreams become more vivid and intense, I have been having flashes of memory.” Elizabeth raised her hands to her head, as if she could pull them out. “They are confusing, jumbled, like a scattered jigsaw puzzle. I have a hard time making any sense of them, or even controlling them. They come when they please.”
Elizabeth leaned forward, eagerness filled her, and her words became almost frantic as she found herself afraid that it would be lost once more if not spoken, a desperation filling her for Sara, for anyone, to understand her fear and joy. “As a matter of fact I had one earlier today.” Her hand waved at Leo still in the kitchen, “I haven’t even gotten a chance to tell Leo yet.” Taking in a deep breath, “I was just a flash of a moment. I was standing with a woman....” Elizabeth covered her mouth with her hand, her voice dropping an octave, as if she would be in trouble if she said what she was going to say next. “Who I believe is my.... real mother.” Her voice caught at the words. “We, I mean this woman looked a lot like me…we were standing at a window overlooking a pond. The vision made me feel warm… safe. Then she had turned towards me and called me... by a name that was strange yet familiar.” Elizabeth looked past Sara as she remembered, a feeling of comfort filled her, “I knew. I just knew that was what my name was and has always been... ” Tears filled her eyes as she looked back at Sara, “Julia…that was it. Julia was my name.” a small smile played across Elizabeth’s face as the truth filled her and she found herself accepting the reality of it. “I’ve just forgotten for a bit.”
Sara smiled, her eyes kind as she leaned forward on her crossed legs. “And that is how it works sometimes.”
Wiping the tears away, Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders in a casual manner, as if it wasn’t that big of a deal, just the way it is, changing subjects. “Yes, well anyway, I need to be put under hypnosis so I can figure out what happened. What I need to know before this man, ‘bad man’, as I often call him in my visions decides he doesn’t want me to remember after all and takes what I believe he did to my real mother into his own hands.”
“Can you tell me about your mother?”
Elizabeth laughed sarcastically, “Which one? The one that abducted me or the one that I see only in quick flashes?”
“Which ever one you would like to talk about.”
“You don’t seem surprised by what I just told you?” Elizabeth said with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m not surprised by much,” Sara said with a small smile.
Studying her, Elizabeth smiled as she saw the truth of her words, imagining all that she most likely had heard and seen in her profession. “I suppose you aren’t.” She said just as the teakettle let out a whistle from the kitchen. “Well it sounds like tea is up.”
Sara looked into the kitchen with a smile. “Yes, it does seem that way.” Then a look of concern crossed her face as she looked back at Elizabeth, her words distressed. “Before, we go any further…I do want to stress and bring to your attention some concerns I have with putting you under hypnosis without any real background or history about you.”
“I understand your concerns, but I desperately need this done. I don’t feel like I have any time left to find the answers I need.” Elizabeth said as she turned her body so she was angled sideways, her eyes watching Leo gather things together in the kitchen. “I can’t wait any longer. This man I remember, I believe he is starting to get more desperate.”
“What makes you believe this?” Sara asked.
Elizabeth rested her elbow on the back of the couch before she turned her head back to Sara with a shrug, as she laid her head on her upraised hand. “Mostly, a feeling…deep in my gut. But, what really confirmed my suspicion was yesterday when I was at the library, I found out he was inquiring about me. Which, if you ask me is pretty bold on his part. I believe that it implies that he is getting more desperate with what I am uncovering. You see…” Elizabeth said as she turned her body back to face Sara full on. “I suspect that I have information that he needs and this is the reason he has not personally confronted me yet. I think he somehow knows that I can’t remember everything and that what he really needs to know is if I remember whatever he needs.”
Elizabeth blew out a breath in frustration as she sat back pulling her feet up also. “What that is? I don’t know…” she said with a small smile before she looked back up at Sara whose calm demeanor was a reassuring comfort. “Although, he has periodically made himself known to me. And, every time I get a flash of memory, each time stronger with more information, I feel somehow he knows this and is just waiting for me to remember what he needs to know. Pushing my buttons.”
At that Leo walked back in with the tea, handing Elizabeth
a cup as he set the pot and other cup on the sofa table in front of them. Elizabeth thanked him with a smile as she continued, “I believe or think he doesn’t want to be associated with me. So at a time, that he is ready to get rid of me we would have no connection. Maybe, I have seen too many suspense movies but it’s what I suspect never less.”
“Elizabeth, you have no evidence of this,” Leo said as he sat down.
“No, but why else would he only show himself to me.” She said as she looked back at Sara, “I started to think he was a figment of my imagination. Until, the desk clerk described him to me. It was the same man, in my visions, the one I have seen only briefly in the library.”
Then what she just said struck her as she looked back over at Leo. “Leo, he showed himself to the library clerk.” She said in desperation to him.
“So he is becoming more careless.” Leo said as he reached over to take Elizabeth fingers into his hand. “But, I thought you told me you couldn’t get a clear view of him because of the shadows?” Leo said.
“Well… I didn’t but it’s him. I just know it. And besides what about the phone calls I have gotten?” She asked him momentarily forgetting about Sara in her new discovery of understanding.
“What calls?” Sara asked, her eyebrows rose in interest.
The comment startled Elizabeth back to her “I have been getting these obscure calls at odd times. Always when I’m alone. Sometimes just breathing, but I know who it is. Then other times he will say something that has happened or about something I have received. They always leave me shaken, with a feeling of familiarity. Such as…I know who he is. I know. I just know I do. I just can’t seem to put the pieces together yet.” Elizabeth said in frustration, her fingertips rubbing her forehead as if it would put the pieces where they needed to be.
“Have you talked to any authorities about this?” Sara inquired.
“Who would believe me? Right now it is just a bunch of visions, nothing concrete. So… no I haven’t.” Elizabeth said with a sad chuckle, her arms lifted in frustration. “Ok, enough talk. I just want to get it over with. Can we just start on what needs to be done? I’ll sign a paper so if something goes wrong you will not be liable.” She said as she looked over at Sara with a note of desperation.
Sara leaned over as she took a hold of Elizabeth’s fingers; Elizabeth feeling the warmth and softness of them. “This is what I wanted to talk to you about. I don’t do hypnosis for memory recovery.”
Elizabeth pulled away from Sophia’s hold, panic created a tremor in her hands, “But Leo told me you do.”
“Yes, and I used to, but I found it more detrimental than productive. Your mind is a very complex organ, and hypnosis is a very suggestive tool. I believe in other types of therapy to retrieve this information. Your mind has held this information from you because you were not ready to receive it. By doing this, it is forcing your mind to show us things you may not be ready to see.”
“Elizabeth, listen to Sara, are you really sure you are ready for this? Do you think maybe you should reconsider? I’m starting to think that maybe this isn’t the best idea.” Leo said, his voice full of concern.
Elizabeth pulled her hands away from Sara as she sprang up from the couch. “Damn it. Will everyone stop treating me like a porcelain doll. I will not break. First my mother...well not really my mother, and now you hiding things from me afraid it will break me. Well look at me, I’m stronger than I appear.” She said, fighting tears of frustration.
“Elizabeth, I’m not saying you aren’t a strong person. In this last week I have seen that strength. But everyone has their limits and I’m worried about you,” Leo said, his voice full of desperation.
“I know you are. And so was Rita…who also had her own reason. But neither one of you have thought of what I need,” Elizabeth said as she paced to the large picture window, her eyes drawn to the trees beyond the pane but not really seeing them.
Elizabeth spoke over her shoulder as she watched the day grow darker as night approached, creating long shadows of the trees. “I need to do this today. I don’t know how to explain to either of you that my time is growing shorter. I need to know what is hidden from me. I need to accept what is. I need all of this for my survival. I can sense it with all of my heart. I have no other way of saying it, but a feeling I have. And I have learned to trust my... feelings.” She said sadly as she turned back to the room. “A woman I met here in New Orleans. She claimed to be a gypsy…or actually she never really claimed to be one, I just assumed she was. She spoke to me of destiny, secrets, and other information, which she was strangely very correct . Anyways, she had told me that it was only I who could get the answers that are needed.” She said with a small smile, remembering that day which seemed like a lifetime ago. “So, if possible, I would appreciate it if you both could just trust me on this.”
Sara stood, straightening her shirt as she walked over to Elizabeth. “I have also learned over the years, that sometimes my patients know what is best for them.” She said as she took Elizabeth hand into hers. “Let’s get started. Shall we?”
Elizabeth nodded as she walked back over to the couch, her emotions teetering with a strange mix of scared excitement with what she may find within her own mind. “So how do we do this then?”
“Well, what I’ll do is put you in a very relaxed state. You will still be able to understand what I will be saying and be able to communicate with me. But, if we do it right, your mind should be relaxed enough to bring forward information from your subconscious.such as a dream. But instead of not being able to control them, I’m hoping I can talk you through the memories. Pick them apart,” Sara told Elizabeth with a soft confidence.
Elizabeth nodded in understanding as she leaned back onto the soft cushions of the couch as Sara had directed her to do. She gave Leo a small smile of reassurance, letting go of what happened earlier so she could focus on the moment.
Chapter 27
A timer pendulum sat on the sofa table next to Elizabeth’s head; an elegant wood wand swung back and forth setting a rhythmic beat. Sara’s voice was soft as it seemed to float on the evening air. The setting sun sent long shadows across the hardwood, covering the luster of the wood. Sara’s voice broke through the tranquility that Elizabeth found herself in, watching the shadows creep across the floor. “You will hear only my voice,” She said soothingly, the invisible pressure of the sound made Elizabeth feel as if she was sinking into the soft cushions that cradled her body. Her eyes were then drawn away from the shadows to look up at the ceiling which rose high above her, the wood beams crossing the peak stout, strong. “You feel your body getting lighter as the years melt away,” the noises of the house evaporating with the words. Feeling removed from reality, she now fancied herself hanging by her knees on the beam above, swinging her body until she let her legs loose, flipping in the air fearless, strong.
The room became distant, her surroundings evaporated as her body grew light, free until she found herself sitting on a makeshift swing, her legs pumping smoothly as the swing built momentum sending her sailing higher in the air. The morning was cool with a light damp mist creating a wall of white that made her feel as if she was floating on a fluffy white cloud.
Sara’s voice entered her dream state, whispering in her ear, as it urged her to relate what she was seeing. Elizabeth felt what she can only remember, laughing, “I’m swinging...the fog is so heavy, I can barely see my feet in front of me as they pump. I had always loved this...swinging in the mist, where no one can see me, hidden, invisible.”
“Why invisible?” Elizabeth heard Sara ask through the fog of her mind and finding herself confused by the question.
The question evoked a sense of panic changing the rhythm of the dream, the fog lifting to the woman in white frantically digging in the dirt beneath the tree. Her long blonde hair covering her face, her hands bare, bleeding. Her voice hollow as she keeps repeating, “rememb
er my darling; the secret.” Just then, as if in slow motion, her head rose, tears streaked her dirt-encased cheeks leaving a trail of white. Elizabeth felt the weight of the shock as she fell back, her body weightless as it fell.
Sara’s voice was calming as she urged Elizabeth to relax, that the dream could not hurt her. Elizabeth then saw herself, her mother. The next moment she finds herself standing in a line, her real mother holding her hand, her eyes kind as they look down at her, smiling. Looking up, Elizabeth sees a sign ‘City Clerk’.
Then, just as suddenly, she is crawling through a metal tunnel, her heart hammering in fear. The metal scraping as she moved, small scratchy feet chasing as they move closer, finding herself dropping into a small darkened room. She finds herself trying to recall what she needed to do, her fear clouding her thoughts, then her mother’s face broke through her panic as she remembered what she had told her what to do...it was the safe.
Her panic returned when a masculine voice whispered in her ears. It’s the same man who haunted her nightmares, he is sitting on the top of the safe, leaning forward with a small smile curving his lips, his eyes cold, “You know what happens to bad little girls, don’t you?”
Elizabeth screamed as she fell away from the vision, this time onto a soft bed, a shallow light from a bedside lamp illuminated the room. Her heart beat rapidly when a warm hand smoothed back her hair. Hesitant, she looked up into the eyes of her mother, before the face changed once more to Rita; her other mother, “You are safe now. Nothing can harm you.”
She shook her head negatively, she must remember. Confused, her mind was a jumble of uncertainty. What must she remember?
Yes, the name, what is the name of the bad man? What is the name.... his face loomed large, laughing as his arm drapes around her mother, their faces changing, morphing into each other. A smile curved bright red lips, then her face suddenly became clear, a calm uncertainty replaced the fear as she watched the woman smile down at her, her eyes kind, her face so like her own, a slip of a dress skimmed her curves, her red lips moving. Elizabeth focused on what she was saying. She somehow knew it was important. The words distant, “Be a good girl and give me a kiss goodnight. Roger and I shouldn’t be late, Suzie will tuck you in.”
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