Only he wasn’t sure in just what way. As far as that went, he wasn’t sure exactly what he was thinking or feeling about it either.
Truth to tell, he was having trouble getting his thoughts clear from the warm feel of her hands against his chest, the sight of her suddenly wide blue eyes and the sound of her quickly inhaled breath that inexplicably seemed to suck all the air from the room.
This was definitely not a good development. He liked Nora well enough. To be honest, maybe a sliver more than “well enough.” But it wouldn’t do for him to start having stronger feelings. And not just because she was his housekeeper.
“Hey, sheriff.”
Gavin’s hail brought a welcome break from Cam’s muddled thoughts. “I’m listening.”
“I almost forgot to tell you—Mr. Lafferty stopped by while you were out fetching Miss Nora. He said someone’s been raiding his garden and he wants you to do something about it.” Gavin shook his head. “He sure was mighty angry.”
Ben snorted. “Amos Lafferty’s not happy unless he’s got something to complain about. Why, if someone walked up and handed him a fistful of coins he’d likely complain because it wasn’t in a shiny leather pouch.”
Cam grinned at Ben’s very apt description of the town’s most cantankerous citizen.
Ben leaned back in his chair. “It was likely just a deer or fox or some such deciding to take a midnight graze through his place.”
Ben was probably right. Still… “All the same, I think I’ll go have a look around after breakfast. If there is somebody raiding his garden I want to put a stop to it.”
Ben shrugged. “Suit yourself. If you want to go tromping through a muddy garden in the rain on a wild goose chase, that’s your business.”
“I don’t mind a bit of rain,” Gavin piped up. “Can I go with you?”
Cam eyed his overeager deputy, then nodded. “Sure. You can ride Ben’s horse since he plans to stay in out of the rain.”
He moved to his desk and gathered the few papers that had accumulated since yesterday and stashed them in the top drawer. That effectively turned his desk into a dining table at mealtime, with each of the four of them taking a side.
Right on cue, Nora bustled across the room carrying a large tray. He knew better than to offer to help since prior experience had taught him that she’d only lecture him on how he should get out of the way and let her do her job. Still he watched her, looking for signs that she was at all rattled by their earlier encounter. But she seemed as efficient and unflappable as ever. She didn’t once make eye contact with him, but that could be nothing more than her being distracted by planning for her new venture.
Five minutes later she had everything laid out before them and all four took their seats. After they said grace, Cam nodded to Nora. “Did you tell Ben and Gavin about your idea for a new business?”
Ben paused in the act of spreading jam on his biscuit. “A business venture? Are you going to be a woman of means soon?”
Nora laughed. It seemed there was no lingering nervousness on her part.
“Nothing so spectacular,” she said. “I’m thinking about baking a few extra pies and cakes to sell around town.”
“Well, now, I’m guessing you’re going to have people lining up to buy them.” Ben pointed his fork her way. “And if you need someone to do your tasting for you, I hereby volunteer.”
“That’s a mighty generous offer,” she said dryly, “but I don’t think I’ll need to impose on you.”
Cam noticed the way her eyes brightened when she was in a teasing mood. Not that he saw this side of her often. Which was really too bad.
Gavin, however, didn’t seem to find the subject a teasing matter. “You mean you’re going to be baking all kinds of desserts in here and we aren’t going to be able to eat any of them?” The boy looked absolutely crestfallen.
Nora laughed. “Don’t worry, Gavin, I’ll still make sure you gentlemen have something fresh for dessert every day.”
“Well, I for one think it’s a dandy idea.” Ben scooped up a forkful of egg. “And now that the folks in town have had a chance to sample your baking talents at your sister’s wedding reception, I don’t think you’ll be wanting for customers.”
Her cheeks pinkened. “Why, thank you, Ben. I certainly hope you’re right.”
Cam ate his breakfast in silence while Nora continued to banter with Ben and Gavin. Why was she so relaxed and easy with the other two, calling them by their first names and even lapsing into this teasing banter, yet at the same time she insisted on being formal with him? The whole thing got under his skin more than it should.
After all, they’d known each other a month and had gotten to know each other well. Was it too much to ask for her to treat him as more of a friend than a boss?
And being friends was all he wanted from her, all he would allow himself to want from her. Because he’d decided long ago he couldn’t have a family of his own, especially not one that included a child. There were too many inherent dangers for a man like him in a relationship like that.
Yes, sir, he’d accepted his own limitations in that area and moved on a long time ago. So why was he feeling so restless about the whole matter lately?
* * *
Nora absently pushed the broom across the floor of Ben’s kitchen. Cleaning this place and the one upstairs was no hardship—they were so small and both men were fairly neat. It was no wonder, though, that the two men spent most of their time over at the sheriff’s office. It must be lonely in their very separate, very small spaces. Not that either of them would ever admit to such a thing.
She’d made good progress this morning and was well ahead of schedule. Since Ben had provided rabbits for today’s meal and the pantry was well stocked she hadn’t had to go to the market. And without Grace to tend to, her work had gone much faster. And been much lonelier.
It was quiet in here today. Too quiet. Even the patter of the rain had faded away about thirty minutes ago. No doubt about it, she missed having Grace with her. Listening to the baby coo and gurgle and even fuss always provided welcome company during her workday.
Nora wasn’t normally a talkative person, preferring to keep her own counsel. But her life had undergone so much change in the last few months that she’d found herself longing for someone to discuss things with, as much to sort it out in her own mind as to seek advice.
And it turned out that Grace was a very good listener. During those times when it was just her and Grace, she’d gotten into the habit of talking to her while she worked, holding entire conversations, as if Grace understood every word. She’d related some of her fears and dreams and plans, working through her own feelings about her new life in the process.
Somehow, talking to an empty room didn’t seem quite the same.
And, oh my, but it certainly would have been good to have someone to talk to today of all days—someone who wouldn’t comment or pass judgment but merely listen as she talked about the events of the day.
There was, of course, the advice she’d gotten from Cam about her baking venture. His opinion carried a lot of weight with her—he was intelligent, he knew the town and he knew her. Knowing she had his approval gave her the confidence she needed to carry through with her idea.
Yes, she should be planning her menus and shopping lists and identifying potential customers. Instead her traitorous thoughts kept circling back to that near-embrace that had resulted from her collision with the sheriff earlier. Yes it had taken her breath away and set her pulse to racing. But surely that was natural given how startled she’d been.
And it wasn’t as if she had a lot of experience with that sort of thing. There’d been no time for courting back home in Ireland. After their mother’s death she had become the lady of the house and had taken on many of the household duties that had formerly been her mother’s.
If only her traitorous mind didn’t keep returning to the sweet sensation of being held in his protective embrace… .
So los
t in her thoughts was she, that she nearly dropped her broom when someone knocked on the door.
“It’s only me,” Ben called from outside.
“Come in,” she responded, glad for the moment to collect herself. Then, as soon as the door opened, “I’ve told you before there’s no need for you to knock at your own door.”
Ben shook his head as he wiped his boots on the rag rug she’d made to grace his threshold. “Wouldn’t be right for me to barge in on a lady unannounced, even if that lady is sweeping my floor.”
Nora had grown quite fond of Ben in the short time she’d been in Faith Glen. The impish quality he wore like a favorite suit made his age seem like a disguise. His dark eyes, hidden behind a pair of spectacles, seemed to look at the world with a youthful, mischievous air that made you both want to smile and to wonder what he had up his sleeve. Clouds of snow-white hair adorned the sides and back of his head, but only wisps clung to the top.
She leaned on the broom a moment. “If I’m in your way, I can work over at the jailhouse for a bit.”
He waved her back as he crossed the room. “Nonsense. In fact, I came over here looking for a bit of company. Cameron and Gavin are out tromping through old Amos Lafferty’s garden and it was getting lonely across the way by myself.”
He pulled out a chair and sat at the small table, smiling up at her as he did so. “So, tell me more about your plan to start a business.”
Glad to have a bit of company, Nora smiled and resumed her sweeping. “There’s not a whole lot to tell, other than what you already know. The sheriff cautioned me to start slow, and I agree that’s probably best—maybe two pies and one cake a day. Then, if it looks like folks really will buy my baked goods, I can do more.”
“Oh, I have no doubt you’ll do well.” Ben tipped his chair back on two legs. “I just hope you don’t get so much business you decide you don’t need to work here anymore.”
She smiled. “Don’t worry, you three will always be my favorite customers. And let’s not get ahead of ourselves. This may not work out.”
He wagged a finger at her. “None of that false modesty. Folks are still talking about how good that cake you baked for the reception was.”
Nora couldn’t decide how to respond to that so she changed the subject. “Did you happen to check on the stew before you left the jailhouse?”
He nodded. “I gave it a good stir. The smells coming out of that pot are enough to tempt a stone. Those rabbits gave up their lives for a good cause.”
Nora laughed. “Indeed. Rabbit stew was one of the first things my mother taught me how to cook, and it was my da’s favorite dish.”
Ben let the chair legs drop back to the floor. “Sounds like you had a fine family.” Then he cocked his head to one side. “Speaking of which, I kind of miss having little Gracie around today. Of course, I know you made the right choice leaving her home in this weather.”
“I miss her, too. But at least the sheriff is more comfortable not having her around.” Nora wanted to take the words back as soon as they slipped past her lips. Yes, she was curious about his behavior, but she had no business fishing for information about her boss.
Ben gave her a searching look. “He’s more fond of that little girl than you think, than even he thinks.”
Nora tried not to let her skepticism show, but she found that very hard to believe. So she settled for saying nothing.
Ben studied her for a long moment, his expression unusually serious. Finally he nodded, as if he’d reached a decision. “There’s something you probably ought to know about Cameron.”
Chapter Seven
Nora felt a momentary touch of panic. Much as she’d like to learn the sheriff’s secrets, this was wrong. She put a bit more force into her efforts with the broom, keeping her head down. “I didn’t mean to bring this up, Ben, and I certainly don’t want to pry into his past.” Well, that wasn’t entirely true, but wanting didn’t give her the right to actually do it. “The man has a right to his privacy. If there’s something he thinks I should know, then he’ll tell me himself.”
Ben shook his head. “You’re wrong. I love that boy as if he were my own son, but he’s got hold of some foolish notions that are ruining his life. And I think it’s time someone else shared the burden of knowing about the nightmares that drive him. Someone who cares about him and wants what’s best for him.” He gave Nora a challenging look. “I was hoping you might be that person.”
The sheriff had nightmares driving him? Hard to believe. He seemed so strong, so confident. Yet she’d sensed there was something troubling him.
But did she have the right to hear his story before he was ready to tell her himself? Still, if Ben thought her knowing could help…
Almighty Father, I truly do want to help Cameron. He’s a good man and he’s been nothing but kind to me since I arrived in town. I’d like to return the favor and help him if I can. Maybe this is one way to do that.
Hoping she’d made the right choice, Nora slowly moved to the table and sat down across from Ben. “Tell me.”
He smiled approvingly. “Good girl.” Then he sobered. “I warn you, though, this won’t be easy to hear. Cam didn’t have a pleasant childhood.”
Nora clasped her hands together in front of her and mentally braced herself. Suddenly she was very afraid of what she might hear. “Go on.”
Ben patted her hands, then raked his fingers through his sparse hair. “Cam loved his mother deeply. From what he’s told me of her, she was a God-fearing woman, hardworking and a loving mother.” His face hardened. “Unfortunately, he wasn’t so blessed when it came to his father. Douglas Long was a terrible man, a monster. He was a thief and a drunk who’d spend every penny of his money on liquor and gambling, then lash out at his wife for not putting food on the table. And worse, he was a mean drunk who beat both Cam and his mother regularly.”
Nora couldn’t repress her gasp. “No!” She could hardly take in the idea of someone treating another person that way, much less his own wife and child. How had Cam borne such cruelty?
Ben’s gaze softened and he patted her hand. “I’m sorry to distress you so, but I’m afraid it’s true. Cameron lived like that for the first twelve years of his life. He and his mother tried to protect each other as best they could, but they weren’t a match for his brute of a father.”
Her heart bled for the little boy Cam had been and for the mother he’d loved. “You said the first twelve years of his life—is that when his father died?” Her eyes burned with the effort not to cry.
“No, more’s the pity. That’s when his mother died.”
How awful to lose the loving parent in such a situation. Why couldn’t God have taken the brute instead? “Did his father cause—”
“No, thank the Lord. Both she and Cam worked at a factory and apparently there was some sort of accident there. After that, with nothing to hold him at home, Cam ran away. He lived on his own in the city for a while—this happened in Boston. Eventually, when he was about sixteen or so, he ended up here in Faith Glen.”
She wiped her eyes with the corner of her apron. “And you took him in.”
Ben shrugged. “It wasn’t a hardship. Cam needed a job and a place to stay and I needed a deputy.”
Nora knew it was much more than that—like Cam’s hiring of Gavin. But she let it pass while she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat.
“Anyway,” Ben continued, “it took me a long time to get the story out of him. He wasn’t big on trusting folks as you might imagine. But the important thing for you to understand is this.” He leaned forward as if to emphasize what he was about to say. “Cam is absolutely convinced that if he was ever to have children of his own, he’d turn out to be just as bad a father as his own was.”
Nora straightened, outraged. “That’s ridiculous.”
Ben spread his hands. “I know. But on this one subject, Cam is just not objective. And because he feels that way, he won’t let himself get close enough to a woman
to contemplate marriage. And he definitely wants nothing to do with being solely responsible for a child.”
Nora couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “But he’s nothing like his father, and could never be. Even I can see that after knowing him for only a month. He cares too much about people, all kinds of people.”
This time Ben raised his hands palm out. “You don’t need to convince me. I’m on your side.” He captured and held her gaze. “You do realize you can’t let him know I told you, don’t you?”
“But—”
Nora jumped as the front door opened.
“Ben, I need to talk to—” Cam halted on the threshold, obviously surprised to see Ben wasn’t alone. “Well, don’t the two of you look mighty serious. What have you been conspiring about in here?”
* * *
Cameron stared from Ben to Nora as he wiped his damp boots on the rag rug that was almost identical to the one Nora had placed by his own front door. Now just what had put that guilty look on both their faces?
Instead of answering him, Nora popped to her feet, grabbed the nearby broom and started sweeping. Was she pushing it with a bit more vigor than absolutely necessary? Something had gotten her all agitated.
When he turned back to Ben, his friend gave him an unrepentant grin. “I was just wheedling Miss Murphy here into taking a break from her work to keep a tired old man company.”
Was that it—was she worried he wouldn’t approve of her taking a break from her work? Cam snorted. “Tired old man, my foot. You have more energy than that puppy Gavin.” He glanced Nora’s way. “And Nora knows she can take a break anytime she wants.”
Nora pushed the small pile of dirt she’d swept up toward the door. “I’ll get out of your way so you two can talk business. I need to check on lunch anyway.”
She turned to Ben and he felt some sort of understanding flash between them. “Thanks again for our chat. I appreciate your…encouragement for my baking business.”
A Baby Between Them Page 6