When I finally woke up the next morning, I looked next to me and saw that the bed was empty. Did Tessa really spend the night or had I been dreaming? I grabbed the other pillow and smelled it. I caught the scent of Tessa’s perfume along with the subtle hint of cigarette smoke. I knew then that it hadn’t been a dream. But where was she?
I got out of bed and searched the upstairs. No sign of her. I walked into my mom’s room and looked out her front window. Tessa’s car was gone.
I went back to bed and thought about the events from the night before; meeting up with Michael, his confession about his illness, my brother almost burning down the house and Tessa’s unexpected, late-night visit. I smiled to myself. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t believe how much madness had taken place in just one evening.
I could hear my brother downstairs slaying his virtual dragons. I grabbed my cell phone and turned it on to see if I had any new messages. There was one from Tessa that she had sent about an hour earlier. It read: “Thanks for the bed. I owe you.”
I was about to text her back, when I heard the front door slam shut followed by my mother’s voice.
“Willow? James? Where are you two?”
I heard James say something in response while I hopped out of bed and headed downstairs.
I joined James and my mother in the kitchen.
“Good morning, sleepy head,” my mom greeted me.
“Morning,” I said as I folded my arms and leaned up against the counter.
As my mom unpacked bags of groceries, she crinkled up her nose. “Why does it smell awful in here, like burnt popcorn?”
“Cuz I burnt some last—” James started, until I elbowed him hard in the ribs.
“Owww!” James screamed.
My mother turned, alarmed. Luckily she had been busy putting away food and didn’t notice. “What’s wrong, James?”
“Nothing. He’s fine,” I quickly said as I ruffled his already messy hair. “I burned popcorn last night by mistake while I was making it for James. Sorry.”
I smiled. She smiled back. “It’s okay, dear.”
“Did you have a nice time?” I asked, even though I didn’t care. I cared more about Tessa’s stupid squabble with Connor than I did about my mom’s night away with her beau.
My mother stopped her unpacking and faced my brother and me. “I, I mean, we had a great time.”
She had on a grin from ear to ear and held out her left hand toward us. “Do you notice anything different?” my mother asked as her eyes darted back and forth between my brother and me.
James and I looked at each other, confused. Was our mother losing it? Notice what?
This time she shook her hand wildly in our faces. “Look you two! I’m engaged!”
Engaged! Was she kidding?! The rock on her finger told me she wasn’t kidding, but how could she be engaged to another man, a man other than my father? I was blown away and it must have shown on my face.
My mother’s genuine joy turned to hurt. “Aren’t you happy for me, Willow?”
I could see the pain in her eyes, but wasn’t fazed. “How can you be engaged to a man, who you’ve only known for what, two months?”
“I have known Brian since we moved here, Willow. We’ve been working together at the school since the fall.”
I responded with enough sarcasm for anyone else who’d ever been wronged. “Oh, excuse me. You’ve known him for a whole five months.”
My mother was indignant. “Why can’t you just be happy for me once, young lady?”
“Happy for you? Happy for you?” I snapped incredulously. “How can you just forget about Daddy like that? Didn’t he mean anything to you?”
“Of course he did, but he’s gone, Willow, and you need to accept that. Just because I’ve fallen in love with another man doesn’t mean that I didn’t love your father, too.”
All the anger and frustration that had built up inside of me for so long finally exploded.
I pointed at my mother and screamed, “You’re a liar. You never loved Daddy, because if you did, you would never think of marrying any one else!”
I ran from the kitchen and up the stairs and as I ran, I could faintly hear my mother calling after me. Her voice was muffled by a very loud, guttural sound and I realized when I reached the safety of my room that the sound was coming from deep inside me. At that very moment, the sound of my own sobs drowned out my mother’s voice and all the other noises in the entire world.
• • •
The whole week at school was both a blur and rather uneventful. I had a ton of homework and quizzes in almost every class, almost everyday, it seemed. That’s all I did; study, do homework and do it all over again.
I was so thankful it was Friday. I sat as close to the heater as I could on the ferry ride into school. I saw Taylor and Erica at the other end of the boat, but they didn’t sit near me. I really didn’t care. I needed a break, from school, from them, from everyone, but I didn’t really want to stick around my house over the weekend either. Because I had stayed home with James overnight, my mom told me I could go out on Saturday night if I wanted. She would stay home and babysit and made no mention of Brian.
My mom must be making such a huge sacrifice, I figured, because of the fit I threw when she told me she was engaged. I hadn’t spoken to her all week long and avoided her at all costs. When I was with her, I only gave her the most minimal answers to her questions. She knew not to push for more.
I was so upset by her “good” news that, once I was able to stop crying, I reached out to Becca that first Sunday night. I had called her on her cell and she had picked up right away.
“Hey, friend! I miss you. How are you?” Becca had asked.
“Not so good.”
“Why? What’s wrong, Willow?”
“My mom got engaged.”
“To who?”
“To that guy Brian she’s been dating.”
I could tell I caught her off guard. “Wow. Is he nice?”
“I guess,” I had said and was about to tell her more when I heard giggling coming from her end.
“What’s so funny?” I wanted to know.
“Stop it, guys!” Becca had yelled at someone. She turned her attention back to me. “Sorry about that. Gabby and Richie are acting like idiots.”
More giggling and screaming echoed through Becca’s phone.
“Give it back!” she yelled.
I rolled my eyes. What the hell was going on over there? Couldn’t Becca give me a minute of her time, especially since I was so upset?
“Willow, let me call you back later. Okay?”
“Fine,” I said through gritted teeth and hung up. I hurled my phone across the room where it hit the wall and fell to the floor below. I had thrown it so powerfully, the battery cover flew off and the battery flew even further.
I climbed off my bed so I could retrieve the pieces and reassemble my cell. As soon as I had placed the battery back into its proper spot, it rang. I figured it was Becca.
I sat up. “Hello?”
“Hey there, smiley.” It was Michael and I could tell he was smiling.
“Smiley? Why smiley?”
“’Cause that’s the last thing you texted me. A smiley face. Remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“You don’t sound so smiley today. What’s wrong?”
I proceeded to tell Michael why I was upset and he listened intently and tried to reason with me. Michael tried to convince me that since my mother wanted to get married, she must have loved my father and they must have had a good marriage if she was willing to do it all over again with Brian. By the end of the conversation, I didn’t feel as badly about the whole thing.
“Do you feel better now?” he asked before he coughed.
Even though I was still a little disappointed, I had relented. “Yeah, I guess.”
“I can hear it.”
Michael had gotten excited. “What are you doing next Saturday night?”
&nbs
p; “Nothing. Why?”
“Wanna get together?”
“Sure. Where?”
“I don’t know. I’ll think of something special and let you know. Okay?”
“Okay,” I had said before we signed off. I was actually excited about our date. I couldn’t believe I considered it to be a “date,” our first one.
Now I was anxious for the school day to be over because I realized I’d be spending the next night with Michael. Plus my mom promised me I could go out. I didn’t care what we were going to do. I was over the moon at the thought of seeing him. His mere presence, even just his voice always seemed to calm me.
I had to persevere through eight more grueling hours before the weekend was officially upon me and all the fun that was sure to accompany it.
• • •
Friday at school flew by. I went upstairs to my room when I got home and stayed up there the whole night. I only went downstairs to get something to eat. My mom tried to coax me into eating pizza with her and James, but I wanted to be alone and opted for a tuna sandwich.
On the ferry ride home, I had texted Michael to see if he had any idea about what we would do the following night. I was getting ready to go to sleep and still hadn’t heard from him. I checked his MyWeb status and there didn’t seem to be any recent activity. The most recent quote under his profile picture read: Stand with me, lie with me, walk with me through the peaks and valleys of life. That was interesting, I thought to myself, but why wasn’t he getting back to me?
I decided to put my cell phone on vibrate and stick it underneath my pillow in case he called. I was really tired and fell easily to sleep as I imagined the fun things we would do together the next night.
When I woke up bright and early the next morning, I assumed that Michael didn’t call because I never felt my phone vibrate during the night. I checked it and saw that I was right; there were no new texts or missed calls from anyone.
As I lay there, I, once again, wondered why I hadn’t heard from Michael and if I would hear from him at all. Maybe he was really sick and couldn’t text or call me. I was so confused. I picked up my phone and dialed his number. It went straight to his voice mail.
I didn’t know what to do. I finally had plans for a Saturday night and wasn’t stuck home with my brother for once. Now I wasn’t sure if I was going to be doing anything besides sitting home miserably with my mother and brother.
I contemplated calling Erica and Taylor to see if they wanted to maybe get together, but the two of them had avoided me like the plague since I had been honest about my feelings and their jealousy toward Tessa.
At least Erica had reached out to me when she told me that some girls were calling Tessa and me whores. Taylor wouldn’t even glance my way when we passed one another in the hallways. I didn’t have time for their theatrics and decided I’d rather stay home and twiddle my thumbs than have to try and live up to their high ethical standards. I knew I wasn’t a whore and that’s all that mattered.
I couldn’t believe this was happening again with Michael. I was more worried about him than mad at him, especially since he had confided in me about his illness. He had to have been really sick, I reasoned, or he would have definitely gotten back to me.
I had done some research on CF and found out that the symptoms of the disease varied from person to person, some more serious than others. And the symptoms and severity of CF also varied over time. Sometimes a person may experience just a few symptoms, other times there could be many.
The CF website said that over time, permanent damage to the lungs could cause severe breathing problems. Early treatment of the disease could improve both the quality of life and actual lifespan. Luckily, as the treatments for Cystic Fibrosis continued to improve, so did the life expectancy for those who had it.
I couldn’t relax and lie down anymore. I sat up, grabbed my computer and, once again, checked out Michael’s MyWeb. Nothing. I started to worry. What if he was home, unable to breathe or in a hospital somewhere in Portland alone? I wanted to hear his voice, even if he was really sick, just to know that he was okay. My dilemma about what I was going to do on Saturday night and whom I would be doing it with now became the least of my worries.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-EIGHT
In the Middle of Nowhere (Willow's Journey #1) Page 27