by S. J. Bishop
5
Ava
I sat with Lily on the living room floor in our apartment. I covered my eyes with my hands. Lily covered hers. I opened my hands and then Lily opened hers. This was one of my favorite things.
"Peeks-ah-boo!" Lily shouted, delighted with herself. She rolled, giggling, onto the floor. But the giggles soon turned into coughs, and I grabbed her, sitting her back up.
"Just breathe," I told Lily, trying not to let the fear creep into my voice. A moment later, Lily seemed fine again.
My phone buzzed and I looked at it, holding my breath.
I quickly read through the email my professor had sent and felt my heart slice in half. No test retakes. Sorry. Sorry he said. I doubted he cared that I had spent all of my free time studying for that test and had only failed it because Lily had the flu the night I’d taken it. I was so preoccupied, I hadn’t even been able to finish the test.
"Ava," Mom’s voice called from the kitchen. I sighed and stood up. Mom wanted Lily to go to their place again, but I thought it was better Lily stayed in her own home, in her own bed. I had to be at Piccadilly’s in an hour and wished Mom would just let me have these last few minutes with Lily.
"Yes, Mom?"
"Can you come to the kitchen please? Your father and I need to talk to you."
I kissed Lily’s head as she lay back and watched cartoons. "What is it?" Despite feeling annoyed, I tried to smile at my parents.
Mom turned to me, "Ava honey, your father and I are concerned about Lily."
"Of course, so am I." I looked at Dad. His face was turning pink and he couldn’t look at me. Uh oh, this didn’t bode well.
"We think it might be best," Mom continued, "if Lily came to stay with us for a while. Until you sort things out better for yourself."
I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I knew my mother too well not to understand what she was saying. She thought that I was a bad mother and that it was my fault Lily was sick. I felt tears pooling in my eyes, but the sadness was laced with anger.
"I’m not giving my daughter away."
"I’m not asking you to. I’m only thinking of Lily. That’s what you should be doing too. We can give her things you can’t."
I wiped away a tear. If I could afford a babysitter, I’d throw my mom out in a heartbeat.
"You can’t afford Lily’s surgery any more than I can. I need to go."
"Honey," Dad finally spoke up. "Your mother just wants what’s best for everyone." He gave me a sympathetic look. "Though maybe this is something we should all think a little further about and discuss later."
"There’s nothing to discuss!" I turned and went back to the living room. "Lily, I have to go, but you get to spend the whole day with Grandma and Grandpa." A pang of jealousy shot through me, unexpected and hurtful.
"Yay!" Lily said, pulling her knees up to her chest and coughing again, then just as quickly grinning. Dark circles ran in thick rings under her eyes.
It took all of my power to pull myself away.
I was just pulling into Piccadilly’s when my phone rang. My heart thumped—Lily!
"Hello?"
"Ava?" a man’s voice replied.
For a moment I thought I was imagining things. "Carter?"
"Yeah. Um... I’m sorry to call like this." He laughed, nervously. My mind raced. Why was he calling? How did he even have my number? Of course that last part was easy. I hadn’t changed my number in... ever. "Listen," he breathed. "I need a favor."
A half-hour later I was exiting the police station with Carter by my side. He got into the passenger seat of my car; his cheeks red. He could hardly look at me. I started up the engine. It chugged to life, died again, then sprung back to life once more.
"I’m really sorry about this," he said for the fortieth time.
"It’s fine; I’m happy to help."
Luckily, Carter was so well known in Dover Chase that he had been released quickly and without incident. I didn’t have to put up any bail money which was good because if I had, he might still be in there.
"So what did they say? Do you have to go to court?"
He waved his hand in the air. "A small fine. That’s it. Just $5,000, plus damages."
"$5,000?!” I choked. “You think $5,000 is a small fine?"
He turned his head slowly towards me. I hoped he didn’t notice the dark circles under my eyes.
"What happened to Harvard?" he asked suddenly. The fact that he had no idea that his own daughter was the reason for the change in my life’s course caught me off guard, and I shrunk back from him. "I’m sorry," he said. "It’s none of my business."
I shook my head. This was the opening I’d been waiting for. "It’s okay. I... I... Do you want to take a walk? The Allegheny River Walk is still just as nice as ever."
"Sure," he said, and I could feel his eyes on me.
His gaze made me uncomfortable and I drifted towards the river’s edge and stared across it to avoid eye contact. I took a deep breath. "You know that... I have a kid, right?"
I felt Carter’s hand on my shoulder and jumped back.
It hadn’t occurred to me till this second that the spot we were standing was the same spot where we had slept together all those years ago.
"Carter, I... There’s something I need to tell you."
"So tell me," Carter said, cupping his hand under my chin. I felt my heartbeat quicken and before I realized what was happening, he was leaning over me and then his lips were on mine. I tensed for a moment, thinking about what had happened the last time, but then his tongue was finding its way into my mouth and I let go, sinking into the kiss, feeling Carter’s warmth wash over me.
But in an instant my brain was back screaming: What are you doing? I jumped back and pulled away, looking at Carter a second before heading back to the car. I was already late for work. "We should go."
6
Carter
What had I been thinking kissing Ava like that? I’d obviously freaked her out. But there was something about her... a pull that drew me to her like a magnet.
I needed to get my mind off Ava. Hannah still wasn’t here and my parents, who I was staying with, were busy running around getting ready for the wedding. They were transforming their backyard into Hannah’s paradise. I guess it’s only fitting she’s get married there, since the two of us had bought our parents the biggest house in all of Dover Chase. We weren’t trying to grandstand or put on airs, we just wanted Mom and Dad to have the best. Our parents had refused to leave Dover Chase; for whatever reason, they loved Pennsylvania. So Hannah and I had settled on bringing the best of Pennsylvania to them with this house.
I wandered around town, trying to get my mind off Ava. My hangover was almost gone now, so I was starting to think more clearly. This morning, when Ava had taken me to the river, she’d been trying to tell me something. What was it? I tried to think back to the conversation. I’d asked her about Harvard and she’d said: "You know that... I have a kid, right?"
Why was she talking to me about her kid? Was it possible it was mine? We’d only been together that one time. Still... three years. No. I pushed the thought away. It just wasn’t possible. She would have told me.
I’d been walking around in a trance, and when I finally became aware of my surroundings, I noticed I was in front of another old bar—Dover Chase had a lot of old bars. Only this one had been more for gamblers than drinkers if I was remembering right. Nothing hardcore. Just some light poker and maybe a little twenty-one. I stepped inside and was surprised to find the place hadn’t changed. It was brighter than Conrad’s had been, with light pine wood and a mirrored bar. I ordered a drink and felt the eyes of the patrons fall on me as I sat at a stool. People were whispering.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed a man, about twenty-five with dark hair and a hat approach me. "Are you Carter Stone?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Well I’ll be... you probably don’t remember me. We went to school together."
&n
bsp; I looked a little closer. "Duncan Truesdale?"
Duncan let out a roar of laughter. "That’s right. Well I’ll be. Why don’t you come and join us? We were just playing a little poker."
Duncan had said the magic word. Nothing to get my mind off that little jail stint I’d done or kissing Ava like a game of poker. I walked over to his table. Three other guys sat around, a large pot of money in front each of them.
"I’m a little light on cash just now." I had plenty in the bank, but I’d learned not to travel with money in my wallet. I’d woken up one too many times in a strange place, only to find it empty.
"That’s alright. We know you’re good for it."
A couple hours later, and several drinks in, I found myself wishing I was somewhere else. The game was not getting my mind off of Ava like I had hoped. If anything, I was thinking about her more. And losing because of it. It was time to go.
"I think I’d better head out," I told the guys, pushing my chair back.
"What’s the rush?" Duncan asked.
"No rush. Just not my night is all."
"You owe us quite a little bit of money here," Duncan said. "About $3,800 as I see it." The other three men all stared hard at me.
"I know. I’ll get it in the morning when the bank opens."
The men laughed. "Well now, that’s not exactly how things work around here," Duncan said. "We need to figure out a way to get that money now. There’s an ATM down the road."
I hesitated. I had my bank accounts set so that I couldn’t get out more than $300 from an ATM in one day. Another lesson learned after several binges where I’d spent more money on alcohol and girls than I made in an entire season.
"I’ll get it to you tomorrow." I turned and headed for the door, sensing trouble and trying, for once, to get out of its way. No such luck. I heard the chairs push back as the men rose to follow me.
"Look, guys," I said, turning to them when we got outside. A fist flew towards my face, and before I knew what had happened I was on the ground. The men laughed. "He’s not so tough," one of them said. Guys always got a kick out of knocking down a football player. I tried to stand but a foot found its way to my stomach causing me to curl up into a ball in agony. A woman’s scream came from across the street and then the sound of heels as she ran towards us. I opened one eye and saw Ava’s frightened expression.
"Stop!" she screamed. "Leave him alone!" She pushed Duncan back. His hand flew out, making a thudding as his fist hit her delicate skin. I stood up and rammed Duncan against the side of the building. He grunted and fell to the ground. One of the other guys ran off, the other two tried to stop him. But my blood was boiling. I rammed one man into the other, tackling them together. They lay limp and I turned back to Ava, who was standing with a stunned look on her face.
"Are you alright?" I asked. Her lip was bleeding. She nodded. "Let’s get out of here." I opened my car door for her and ushered her inside. Her hands were shaking.
"Are you sure you’re alright?" She nodded. I followed her directions back to her apartment and helped her inside, trying not to think about her creamy skin or the feel of her velvety lips.
“Hmm, that’s odd.” Ava turned the lights on, walked over to the kitchen table, and picked up a note. She looked up, “My mom took Lily back to their place.” I could tell she was trying to fight back tears, but they spilled over, and she buried her head against my chest. I didn’t know why she was so upset, but I did know what it felt like to receive her gentle touch. There was something so vulnerable about it—something I’d never experienced with Olivia.
Was she upset about the fight? The note? I had an overpowering urge to comfort her and leaned down to kiss her head. "I’m sorry," and I kissed her again. Only this time my lips found hers and she was kissing me back with an urgency I didn’t know was in her.
I ran my tongue down Ava’s neck and felt her shiver. My hands swam over her skin, and I lifted her and carried her to her bedroom. She threw off her clothes, leaving a trail in the hallway. I lay her on her bed and climbed on top of her as she pushed off my shirt and ran her tongue over my chest kissing me up and down from my neck to my waist, making me hungry for all of her.
Ava’s breasts were all cream and silk. I slid my hands over them, and brought my mouth to her hard, pink nipples. She moaned under me, lifting her hips against mine. I pushed my pants off and Ava wrapped her legs around me, pulling me to her. When I entered her cave I shuddered, feeling something beyond sheer physical pleasure. I felt warm and protected, like coming home after being gone for far too long. My spine tingled and I moved against her, pulsing to some internal rhythm beating solely for the two of us.
Ava moaned louder, her body writhing under mine. I moved my hips faster, my manhood swelling inside her as I breathed her in. Her scent was like vanilla and cinnamon, sweet and sugary. I pushed deeper inside her and her eyes flew open. Her hands moved to my ass, guiding me still deeper inside her. My body began to quake and I forced myself to hold on. Finally, her skin burned under me and her head flew back. Her whole body arched, and I released my energy, exploding with her as our bodies merged together.
7
Ava
I woke up to voices in my living room and rushed to get dressed, as I replayed scenes of Carter and me from the night before. What was I thinking? Had I completely forgotten what had happened the last time? Of course I wouldn’t give Lily up for the world; but nonetheless, the last thing I needed was a repeat of what I had been through the last three years.
I walked down the hallway and was shocked to find that the voices were from him and Lily playing together on the floor.
"Mommy!" Lily cried, throwing her arms up for a hug. I wrapped my arms around her and looked at Carter, bewildered.
"Your parents dropped her off a couple hours ago," he said. "They said they were going to get some breakfast and would be back in an hour or two."
I nodded. I should be furious with my parents for keeping Lily overnight without my permission, but this whole situation seemed surreal. I’d just spent the night with Carter. My parents had been here. That meant they had seen Carter here. They had talked to him. What were they thinking about that? What was Lily thinking? She had come home to find a strange man, yet here she was playing with him like she’d known him all her life.
"Carter, I... um." I could feel myself blush. Carter waited patiently as I tried to complete my thought, but it seemed I had no complete thought to offer. "I, um, guess I’ll make us some breakfast."
"Too late," Carter said, smiling. He jumped up from the floor, rubbed Lily’s head with his hand—she grinned back at him—then led me into the kitchen. There were dirty dishes in the sink and a plate of eggs and bacon that Carter had kept warm for me was in the oven. When he was sure Lily wasn’t watching, he leaned in for a kiss. My heart fluttered. Suddenly, everything seemed alright. Last night had not been a mistake; it had been the best thing that could have happened to me.
"Carter, there’s something I need to tell you."
"I’m all ears," he grinned up at me.
Just then his phone buzzed and he looked down at it. "It’s Hannah. Wanna say hi?" He answered before I could respond and I secretly cursed Hannah for her terrible timing.
I could feel a blush come on again as he began speaking to my oldest friend. My best friend. Only of course I hadn’t talked to her in the last three years. Not that I hadn’t tried. I’d called her on a number of occasions only to hang up when Hannah had answered. A few times I’d even begun a letter, but each time I’d crumpled it up and thrown it in the trash.
I barely listened as Carter spoke to Hannah. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Lily. I kept watching her and then looking at Carter and then looking back at Lily. They looked so much alike. The same bronze hair, the same golden skin. It was a wonder that no one had figured it out before, but then I supposed no one had ever suspected that Carter and I had... Ugh, but what must my parents have thought when they came over and found him here this mor
ning?
"Alright, grab your coat. We’re going to the airport," Carter said when he’d hung up.
"The airport?"
"Yeah. Hannah just got in. Our parents were supposed to pick her up but they’re nowhere to be found." He smiled as if he was telling me I’d just won the lottery or something. Clearly, he thought I would want to see Hannah.
"Oh, um, I can’t leave Lily."
"We’ll take her with," Carter said.
"Oh, no. I mean, I don’t know."
"Come on, when’s the last time you saw Hannah?" he asked.
Lily had heard our conversation and stuck out her arms, flying around the room like she was an airplane. "Alright. But wait for my folks to get back, okay?" I didn’t want to tell Carter that he was Lily’s father with Lily sitting right there. What if it didn’t go well?
My parents gave me a questioning look when they arrived back and found Carter still here but seemed happy to learn we were going to pick up Hannah. They had always liked her. I guess they just assumed that Carter’s presence had something to do with Hannah’s wedding. It would be just like my parents to think it would do me some good to spend time with old friends. No doubt they saw Hannah and Carter as people who had done something with their lives, while it was painfully obvious how disappointed they were in me. Little did they know that I would never have been in the predicament they seemed to judge so harshly if it hadn’t been for these old friends.
The airport was busy when we arrived. Well, as busy as it could be for Dover Chase. I sat in the passenger seat, heart thumping, trying again to get the courage to tell Carter about Lily.
"Where is she?" Carter mumbled. He looked over at me. "You’re not sick, are you?" I guess I wasn’t doing a great job of hiding my fear.
"No, I need to..." But again my throat ran dry.
"There she is," Carter said, getting out of the car. I kicked myself for not telling him faster, yet there was also a sense of relief that came with the knowledge that I couldn’t tell him now. I still wasn’t sure if I was ready to spring it on him. I guess a part of me was afraid of how he would react.