by S. J. Bishop
"I wasn’t drunk. The brakes didn’t work." I repeated for the fiftieth time. It was really starting to bug me that no one seemed to take that into consideration. But I guess years of being a partier had given me a reputation—even in my own family. "The only alcohol I had was that glass of champagne you gave me while you forced me to watch you try on dresses."
"It was only one dress," Hannah smirked, trying to hide a laugh. "Which I tried on multiple times."
I couldn’t help laughing along with her. "Hey," I said, getting to the real reason I’d gone looking for her. I sat down, and distractedly gripped my bad hand with my good one. I hadn’t hurt it badly in the accident, but it still ached whenever I moved it too much.
"What do you know about Ava? I mean, I know her daughter’s really sick. Have you talked to her at all?"
Hannah sighed. "I’ve tried, but Ava doesn’t seem to want to talk to me."
"Oh."
Hannah looked at me, a glint in her eye. "Why are you asking?"
I forced myself not to stammer. "I was just curious, that’s all. Ava was always like a little sister—a second little sister—growing up. I just wondered if maybe there was something I could do."
Hannah shrugged. "Sure. I’ve been wondering the same thing. But we can’t help her if she won’t let us."
"Do you... do you know who the father is?" I asked, holding my breath.
Hannah shook her head. "No. So far as I can tell, she’s never told anyone who the father is. I’m not even sure the father knows."
"What makes you say that?" I asked, my breath catching in my chest.
Hannah shrugged. "I don’t really know. It’s just a feeling I get. I popped into her daughter’s hospital room the other day when I was leaving yours. Ava said something kind of strange..."
"What?"
"Oh, it was probably nothing. I’m not even sure it made any sense. She was exhausted."
"What did she say?"
Hannah looked at him with curiosity. "I asked Ava if Lily’s father knew she was in the hospital, and she said yes. But then she said that it didn’t matter. That the most precious flowers died the quickest, and he’d never even know he had a Lily to lose."
I stared at her. He’d never know he had a Lily to lose.
"Yeah," I said, my mind spinning. "You’re right. I’m not sure that does make sense."
"Toldja."
I rose from the table.
"Where are you going?" Hannah asked.
"Just out for some air. I’m taking Dad’s car."
"With all those reporters trailing after you?" But I was already grabbing the keys. "Well Erik should be getting in later with Axel, so make sure you come back around and say hi. Axel Cooper is your best friend, after all, even if he’s getting transferred to Denver.”
"Will do."
I left my parents’ house quickly, intent on getting to Ava’s before I could change my mind about asking her the question that was still plaguing me. Mom looked up from her gardening as I pealed out of the driveway, a frown on her face.
Ava’s apartment was small and in a not-so-great part of town. As I parked the car, I noticed for the first time how old her building actually looked. Brick was crumbling away from the outside and dirt covered most of the windows.
I knocked on her door and Ava’s mom answered. Somehow, I wasn’t expecting to see anyone but Ava at home. I realized now how foolish that had been. If I’d only stopped to think about it, I would have known that, of course, Ava wouldn’t be alone. Not only would Lily be there, but whoever would be watching Lily while Ava was at work.
"Carter," Martha exclaimed, embracing me in a light hug. "Come in. It’s so good to see you again."
"Is that Carter?" a man’s voice echoed from the back. I saw Ava’s father, David, walking towards me with his hand outstretched. I gripped it and pumped it once, feeling the strength the man still had even in his fifties.
"Good to see you, Carter," David said. "Say, got any tips on who I should lay my money on in the Super Bowl?"
I laughed. It didn’t matter that the season had just started. I got asked this question whether it was summer, winter, spring, or fall.
"David," Martha scolded.
"What?" he asked, his eyes portraying innocence. "Carter’s a great player. The 49ers are great. But," he said, a glint in his eye, "you never know. Maybe someone on his team is on drugs, or someone on another team got his girlfriend pregnant and it’s affecting his game. Insider tips are not illegal in football."
"Just insider betting," I smiled. I’d always liked Ava’s father.
Ava appeared from her bedroom just then. "I just put Lily down for a nap. I don’t think—" She stopped when she saw me. "Hi," she said. Her parents exchanged a look.
"I just..." I stammered. "Hannah asked me to come by."
"Oh?" Ava asked. "Does she need something for the wedding?"
"Yes," I said, feeling my cheeks burn. "Um, pictures. She wondered if you had any old pictures of you and her."
"Oh, gee, I don’t know. I can look."
"Sure, that would be great. Thanks."
Ava and I stood staring at each other. The energy in the room had shifted and even Ava’s parents were not oblivious to it. I saw them exchanging glances.
"I can’t look now," Ava said. "I’m on my way to work."
"I know where your pictures are, dear," Martha said. "I’ll look. Don’t you worry about it."
"Thanks, Mom," Ava said. She picked up her mail that was sitting on the counter and started sifting through it.
"I’ll walk you to your car," I said, looking for an opportunity to get some time alone with her. "That is, if you’re ready."
"I’m not driving today," Ava said, stuffing her mail into her purse and grabbing a jacket. "My car is broken. I’m walking."
"I can drive you." My heart wouldn’t stop hammering in my chest.
"No," Ava said. "I’m fine. Thanks."
"Ava," her mother whispered. "Don’t be silly. Let him drive you."
"I prefer to walk," Ava said. "It’s nice out and I need the exercise."
"Then I’ll walk with you."
"Fine," Ava said. "Only I have to go now." She hurried out the door with hardly a goodbye to her parents and I chased after her.
"Hey," I said, when we were finally alone. "Where’s the fire?"
"I can’t be late," she said. "My boss... it wouldn’t be good."
"Alright, but you can at least talk to me on the way, right?"
Ava slowed her pace. "I suppose."
"Listen, I know the last time I saw you, in the hospital with Olivia... well, she can be a real bitch."
Ava laughed. "I’ll say."
"She’s not all bad. She’s just insecure."
"Is there a point coming?" Ava asked.
"Just that, I’m sorry about those things that she said to you. I know they’re not true."
Ava paused mid-stride and turned to me. "Thanks," she said. Her eyes were wide and so blue that I saw the ocean in them. My breath was hot as I breathed in her vanilla scent. It was intoxicating
"Ava, I’m not sorry about the night we spent together. Are you?"
She hesitated, "I... I don’t know."
Before I knew what I was doing, I leaned towards her and kissed her. Her lips were wet and warm and filled with a sweetness I hadn’t found anywhere else in the last three years and that I hadn’t allowed myself to admit I’d been missing. But she pulled away from me almost as quickly as I pressed myself to her.
"Carter, I can’t."
"Why not?"
"Because," she stammered. "You have a girlfriend. And I... I have a boyfriend." Her liquid eyes began to run over. "And because I won’t be some sort of play toy that you think you can break out of the box whenever you get bored!"
She turned and ran for work, leaving me standing on the sidewalk, wondering where I’d gone wrong.
16
Ava
Piccadilly’s was buzzing with energ
y when I walked in. Our assistant manager, Steven, was running around like a crazy person. He stopped and pointed at me when he saw me.
"Why aren’t you in uniform?" he barked.
"I just got here."
"Well hurry up and change," he yelled, leaving me confused and a little annoyed.
"Don’t mind Steven," Myron said, coming up to me. I smiled, happy to see a familiar, friendly face. I’d been worried that he might try to kiss me again or ask me out, but he’d let all those things go and seemed content just to be friends.
"What’s with him anyway? He’s way more uptight than usual."
Myron leaned in and whispered, "Mr. Brewster’s gone."
I tilted my head, not sure I understood what he was saying. "Gone? What do you mean gone?"
Myron shrugged. "No one knows. They can’t find him. He didn’t show up this morning to open the restaurant, and he’s not answering his phone."
"Really?" I asked, walking to the back. That was very much unlike him. Come to think of it I’d never heard of him missing a day of work. Though I certainly didn’t mind his absence, especially after what had transpired between us the other day, I still hoped nothing terrible had happened to him. It seemed that enough terrible things had happened lately to last me for a lifetime.
I was lost in my thoughts when Myron put a hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" he asked anxiously. "You seem a little frazzled today. Is it Lily?"
I sighed, wanting to confide in someone and finding that, as usual, Myron happened to be the someone who was willing to lend me his ear. "It’s everything. It’s Lily. It’s..." But I paused, wondering if I should really tell him what was bothering me. As much as I continued to be disappointed and hurt by Carter, it didn’t feel quite right to talk about him with Myron. "I had a fight with someone."
"Carter Stone?" Myron asked, his face going gray.
"Yeah. He... we..." I sighed and sank onto a bench that lined the wall in the back room, apparently I needed to get this stuff out. "I don’t know. I keep thinking that maybe we could be friends, at least, but that doesn’t seem possible anymore. His girlfriend hates me, and I just don’t see things going anywhere."
"He has a girlfriend?" Myron asked.
I couldn’t help but note the delight that sounded in his voice and now really wondered if I’d made a mistake bringing Carter up to Myron. But it felt so good to talk to someone. Maybe I was just being selfish.
"Myron, we’re still good, right? You and I? Just friends?"
Myron nodded eagerly. "Oh yeah. Just friends. Good friends." He smiled back at me and I relaxed.
"Myron!" Steven yelled, coming into the back. "What the hell are you doing? Get out on the floor."
Myron gave me a quick smile and hurried off.
"And you," Steven yelled to Ava. "Move faster."
Terri was nearby, also getting ready for her shift. She tucked her shirt in and came up to me. "So," she said tentatively, "you and Myron are friends now?"
I smiled. Terri wasn’t so bad. She was probably the only other person at Piccadilly’s besides Myron—maybe even in all of Dover Chase—who I was comfortable talking to. I’d often thought that we could be better friends if only they had the time to spare. For all of Terri’s talk about how hard I worked, Terri worked just as hard. She took regular double shifts and often showed up to work with bags under her eyes. Divorced with an ailing mother to take care of, Terri was possibly the only person I knew who could understand what I was going through.
"Yeah, I guess so. It’s just nice to have someone to talk to, you know?"
Terri hesitated.
"What is it?" I asked, the hair on the back of her neck standing up. Terri had a strange look on her face.
"It’s just that I heard Myron talking to himself earlier. About you."
My heart thumped hard, once, before settling back down.
"I’m not sure he just wants to be friends, Ava. Just be aware of yourself when you’re around him."
"What does that mean?" I asked Terri. It sounded like a warning.
"Just that I’ve known guys like Myron. The quiet types. They seem all sweet and innocent, then bang, tongue down your throat and hands on your boobs."
I laughed. I couldn’t see Myron ever doing something like that. Not without my permission, at least. He was so timid. "I’ll keep it in mind."
Terri nodded and went out onto the floor. I finished buttoning up my shirt and was about to head onto the floor when I knocked my purse off the bench. My mail splattered everywhere. I picked it up and saw that one of the envelopes was from Lily’s most recent stay at the hospital. She’d spent two nights there and had been hooked up to a billion different machines.
I opened the envelope, certain it was a bill, and praying that somehow it would be a small bill. My eyes bugged out of my head when I read it. Twelve thousand dollars! I forgot to breathe for a second while my mind processed this information.
"I have to tell Carter," I said to myself. "There’s no other way." I’d managed to scrape together two thousand dollars towards Lily’s surgery, but on top of this other bill and the ones that probably hadn’t even come in yet, I didn’t stand a chance. I was just kidding myself.
Tell Carter, my inner voice said. Today.
17
Carter
I was back at Conrad’s Bar. I knew I should stay away, especially given the trouble I’d been getting into here in Dover Chase, but several of my teammates had shown up this afternoon for Hannah’s wedding. It was only days away now and celebrities had begun to arrive.
I didn’t usually think of myself and my teammates as celebrities,but the way people kept buying us drinks all night certainly seemed to indicate others did. There were so many other celebrities milling around now that the press had finally lain off of me in favor of some bigger movie stars.
"So, Carter," Johnny Newman said, a drunken grin on his face. "I hear you can’t stay out of trouble even in this little town of yours."
I shrugged. "I can’t help it if a guy wants to pick a fight with me."
My team laughed. "Yeah right," Roger Hagel said. "You don’t do anything in these scenarios. Is that right? You just stand back and offer to shake someone’s hand, and the next thing you know they’ve got their fist in your face."
"And you’ve got your fist in theirs," Johnny chimed in. "I thought Coach was gonna pop a vein when he heard you got arrested again."
I laughed, but I didn’t really care for the way my team was jibing me. A few laughs here and there were alright, but they’d been at it for an hour already.
The door at the front of the bar chimed open and Johnny let out a long, low whistle. I turned my head and was surprised to see Ava standing there. She’d changed out of her work shirt and was wearing a simple black tank top with some jeans.
"I think I just found my warm and snuggly for the night," Johnny said. "You didn’t tell us you had girls as fine as her in this town."
My eyes began to twitch.
Ava scanned the room and when she noticed me, she walked to our table. "Hi Carter," she said. Johnny and the rest of the team looked on with interest.
"Hey." I would never have admitted it to anyone, but Ava’s earlier rebuff of my kiss had really hurt me. I wasn’t used to being rejected by women—ever.
"Um," she looked around at the group I was sitting with. "Do you think I could talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure." I tried to sound nonchalant, but my heart was pounding.
"Alone."
My team laughed and whistled. A few of the guys made comments like "Go get her" and "Take her out back." I felt my face flush with embarrassment. I stepped away from the table and followed her to the bar.
"What’s up? I thought you didn’t want to see me again."
"I changed my mind," Ava said. My heart began to lighten. Johnny was right. She looked good. Real good. "Um, I don’t really want to talk here. Like this. Do you think you could come by my place for dinner tomorrow night?"
> "Sure. Just the two of us?"
"No," Ava replied.
"Oh." What kind of game Ava was playing? Why was she inviting me to dinner if we weren’t going to be alone? She had said she had a boyfriend. Obviously, she just wanted to make him jealous. Well two could play at that game.
"So you’ll come?" she asked. "Around seven?"
"Yeah, okay. I’ll be there."
She smiled, relaxing. "Good. Thank you."
"Hey pretty lady," a man’s voice called out from behind me. I turned to see Johnny approaching us. "This nasty boy bugging you?"
Ava blushed. "No, thanks."
"How about you forget this punk and let me buy you a drink?"
"Get out of here," I said to Johnny. I couldn’t blame him for flirting with Ava, after all she looked stunning. But wasn’t it obvious that she was here to see me? "We’re talking."
"Alright, alright," Johnny said. "I’ll just go get you that drink, then you and I can go off somewhere and have a little fun."
"Johnny," now this was getting annoying. The guy wasn’t taking the hint. "I’m warning you, get out of here."
"What are you gonna do about it my man?" Johnny poked his finger in my face and I waved it away.
"I got as much right to talk to this pretty lady as you do," he said. "Maybe even more, since she doesn’t seem particularly interested in whatever it is you’re selling. What say you, pretty lady? Wanna take a walk with Johnny? I’ll show you things you ain’t never seen before. I guarantee it." He puckered his lips and blew Ava a kiss.
That’s when I decked him. Johnny, no stranger to punches himself, jumped right back up and flung himself at me. The two of us started rolling around on the floor and the rest of the team ran to break it up. As Roger pulled me up, I looked around for Ava. She was walking towards the door, but she turned before leaving and our eyes met. It might have been wishful thinking, but I could have sworn she flashed me a mischievous smile. I had managed to get even more bruises, despite the fact that I wasn’t playing ball, but I thought they might be worth it for the spark of desire that seemed to shoot off of Ava.