by Marian Tee
I’m coming to see you. I’m sorry it took so long.
Love, Your Big Sis
ARIA
“I’m sorry…it took so…long…kiddo.” Slowly, I lowered myself to the ground and sat in front of his tombstone. It was a really pretty one, something I spent a good amount of my earnings for. The marble was a nice dark shade of blue, and the words engraved on it were gold.
The cutest little brother in the world sleeps here.
I started to cry.
“I miss you…so much, Ash. So…so much.” I pulled my knees up, hugging them close. “I’m sorry,” I said shakily, “it took me…so long before…I could find the strength…to visit you.” I closed my eyes. “I have so many…stories to share with…you. So…many. But the most…important—” My voice broke, and I had to take several deep gulps of breath before I could continue.
“I met a boy…and he was almost…as cute as you.” I laughed and cried harder at the silliness of it. “He taught me…to smile again. He taught me…to love. To be…strong.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “Because of…him…I’m able to…come…here.”
Just talking about Kellion hurt, and for a long time, I only stayed there, silent, alone in the moonlit darkness. I should have been scared, but I wasn’t. I felt like Ash was with me, and he was telling me I was the prettiest sister in the world, and never mind if Kellion Argyros didn’t love me.
Ah, God.
I started to cry again.
This was so yucky, me bursting into tears at the mere thought of his name, but even so, I couldn’t help it.
Innumerable minutes had passed when the hairs behind my neck started to stand, telling me that I was no longer alone.
Ash, darn it, if it’s you, please make sure you look like your cute self and not when you died.
I turned around slowly—
And froze.
Kellion.
He stood a few feet away from me, his beautiful face pale beneath his tan, and breathing hard, like he had run all the way to get here.
It didn’t make sense. He shouldn’t have known I was here, shouldn’t have been able to read my mind. He couldn’t have, not when he didn’t love me—
The thought had me asking brokenly, “How? How did you…know?”
Kellion whitened even more at my words. “How…could you think I wouldn’t?” He shook his head, as if unable to believe I had even asked the question. “Aria, I love you—”
My blood turned cold at his words, and I shook my head wildly. “No. You…don’t.”
“Yes,” Kellion said savagely. “I do. I’ve always loved you. I was just too blind—”
“NO!” I screamed the word, covering my ears with my hands.
But suddenly he was kneeling in front of me, tearing my hands from my ears. “Listen to me.” His voice was ravaged with pain, but I didn’t care. I was hurting, too.
I shook my head. “No.”
“Aria—”
“NO!” I forced myself to look at him, and God, God, God, how it hurt to look at his eyes and know that all this time, he had never seen me. I had always seen him, and he had always seen someone else.
“I know…you can’t…” I struggled to get past the sobs so I could tell him why I knew, why he shouldn’t feel guilty. “When you were afraid…to be the President – I couldn’t stop making you…afraid. Remember?”
“You did,” Kellion said hoarsely. “You can ask Helios. That night, that was why I was so late in coming back. When you told me you thought I’d be a great President, I found the strength—”
“Liar,” I sobbed out. I hated, hated, hated the way he kept making me feel like there was something to hope for, that there was something to cling to. “If you loved…me, why couldn’t you say the words?”
“I wanted to.” Kellion cupped my face with shaking hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. “I won’t lie to you, terataki. I didn’t know at first. You were my rebound—”
I flinched.
Kellion looked sick. “I didn’t know it at first. I only knew I loved you when you learned about Jack from the phone call and you were in so much pain. That time, I knew I would do anything for you, that I loved you so much. I didn’t say the words then because I didn’t want to risk hurting you again and make you think I was saying them because I was guilty.”
His voice became fierce, and his eyes captured mine, preventing me from looking away as he said, “I love you. I planned to tell you tonight, when I was the President—”
“No, no…stop it!”
But still he continued, shattering me over and over, “I wanted to say it in front of the entire club, so you’d know how damn proud I was to have you—”
“STOP IT!”
His voice broke, and Kellion whispered, “I just wanted it to be special, baby. That’s all.”
I closed my eyes, unable to bear looking at him any longer. If I did, I would really start to believe, and for both our sakes, I couldn’t let it happen. “You already made…me…okay. So please…just be happy…with Jack.”
“I love you.”
God. His insistence was driving me crazy with pain and longing, and with a sob, I tore free from his hold and struggled to my feet.
“Aria, I love you—”
God, this biker. He was so damn stubborn. So damn nice.
“You don’t love…me.”
“Yes, I do.” Again, he reached for me, and again I stepped away, out of his hold.
“You don’t love…me.” I closed my eyes. Did my best to close my heart. Because the next words I had to say would kill us both. When I opened my eyes, Kellion nearly took a step back, and I knew I had succeeded. My face was cold. Expressionless.
“Kellion—”
He started to shake his head. “Whatever you have to fucking say—”
A smart man, my biker.
It was just one of the many reasons why I fell for him, one of the many reasons why I needed to do this. It was the only way to make him leave and forget about me.
“When I came…here…when I saw…Ashton’s grave…I realized…I didn’t love you…either.”
Kellion whitened. “What the fuck are you saying, baby?”
The endearment nearly broke me, but I held on to my blank mask. Happy, happy, I reminded myself hysterically. This was all so Kellion would be happy.
And so I forced more words out, each word a knife to stab his heart. “I think I…needed you. Not…love. Just…need.”
Kellion shook his head. “Stop saying shit—”
“I don’t think…I ever…saw you…at all.”
Kellion jerked. When his gaze met mine, I nearly cried out at the pain in his eyes. Pain I alone had inflicted. I wanted to run to him, but I made myself stay still, to keep my blank mask on my face because it was the only way to force Kellion to let me go.
“Why?” he demanded hoarsely. “Why would you say that?”
“I don’t think…I ever saw you.”
Kellion stalked towards me, shaking my body as he choked out, “Stop saying that!” His gaze was wild and desperate as he looked into my eyes. “You promised,” he whispered. “Didn’t you promise you’d always see me?”
I had to close my own eyes. I couldn’t bear to see how I’d ruin him as I said, “I just…pretended…to see you…because you made me see….Ashton in others—”
“No.” But even as Kellion said the words, his arms had already fallen from my shoulders. “Take that back—”
“I…can’t.” I bowed my head, struggling for control.
“Then tell me what I have to do to make you see me.”
Ah, God. Why couldn’t he just give up?
I shook my head. “I’m sorry—”
“Tell me,” Kellion repeated. “Please.”
My head shot up at the sound of that one last word, and that was when I realized just how good I was at pretending.
Oh God.
The world that had been so damn bright because of Kellion now started to blur again. Not just beca
use my eyes were hazy with tears. The world was dark and evil again, but it was all because of me. Because of what I had done to Kellion.
His eyes were dull and lifeless, no longer the Kellion Argyros I knew. “I need you to see me, Aria.” His voice was painfully thin. “I don’t give a fuck if the whole world doesn’t know I exist but…I need you to see me.”
Suddenly, I remembered all the stories Helios shared with me. All Kellion’s most daring exploits on the race track, his daredevil stunts, even his wild gambles in the stock market.
His parents and Jack had taught him that he had to earn their love, had to do something just to be seen.
In front of me, Kellion’s body was taut with tension, as if he was only waiting for me to tell him to stop breathing in order to be seen. “I can’t go back to before.” His laugh was hollow and dark. “You changed my life so completely that there’s no going back. So tell me, dammit. Tell me what I can do to make you see me. Please.”
He was begging.
Because of me, my own doubts, my goddamn fears, he was begging.
Without realizing it, I had become exactly like his parents, demanding Kellion to take a risk for me – without willing to take a risk for him in return.
“Aria, please.” The words were wrenched out of him as he fell to his knees.
I turned cold at the sight of it. Oh God, what had I made him do?
“If you have to keep pretending, then do it. I’m begging you.” His smile, oh God, his beautiful smile, was as dead as the rest of him, no longer reaching his eyes. “I just need you to see me—”
With a sob, I threw myself at him.
His arms wrapped around me tightly even as we fell to the ground, Kellion kissing me through my tears.
I lifted myself up, needing him to see my eyes, to see the blank mask was gone from my face so he would know that I was telling the truth.
“I’m sorry.” Crying, I placed a kiss on his lips, and my tears fell faster. “I’m sorry.” I stroked his cheeks. “I see you.” I touched my eyes. “I see you.” I touched my heart. “Kellion Argyros, I’ll always see you.”
EPILOGUE
Dear Ashton,
So…I’m curious. What do you guys study in heaven for second grade?
Flying lessons maybe? I just hope you become my guardian angel if that’s possible. That way, we can still be close. I miss you so much, Ashton. I miss you so, so much. I hope to see you – but not too soon. I’m finally having fun here. But don’t worry, I won’t ever forget you. It’s impossible, not when I have the cutest little brother in the world. The sweetest. The cuuuuuuutest.
Love you so much, Ash.
Dreaming of you, Big Sis
One week later
“This is not fair,” I grumbled as I took my seat at the table. Everyone but Kellion was already there. I was looking forward to having a delicious breakfast, but instead the first dish Hailey served me was a cold, ugly, long list of club duties.
I was only the President’s girlfriend. I wasn’t actually the President. So why did I need to have club duties, too? I didn’t even know how to ride a bike, dammit.
And just so Hailey knew how I felt about my duties, I made sure to write my every thought on my board and showed it to her.
Hailey crossed her arms over her chest. “You can grumble all you want, but those will still be your duties.”
Kellion appeared at the doorway then, looking unbelievably gorgeous with nothing on but his sweatpants. “Good morning, terataki,” he greeted me with a yawn as he scooped me off my seat. Taking his seat at the head of the table, he placed me on his lap.
It was still my favorite place in the world, but I would rather die than let anyone know about it, so I scowled at him and said irritably, “You’re…late.”
Hailey shook her head. “You are such a grouch. You’re practically Helios, girl version.”
Kellion grinned. “I guess that makes me…MJ?” He looked at me, a shy expression on his face. “H-Hi Ms. Sunshine. I think I have a crush on you.” He fluttered his lashes.
MJ, seated across us, gasped. “That’s not like me at all!” But she was blushing while she said it. Beside her, Helios was still choking, probably out of disgust.
Kellion laughed. “Good as it is to poke fun at those two now and then, I don’t really have a shy bone in my body. I’m so much better at flirting.” He looked at me.
Oh. Wow. That smoldering look in his green eyes.
Next to me, Andreus whispered, “You really fell for that?”
His words made me jerk.
Oh shit, I actually did.
*head desk*
When I glanced back at Kellion and saw him smirking, I automatically kicked him under the table.
He grunted, but his eyes gleamed with wicked laughter. “It’s not my fault you can’t keep your eyes off—”
Another hard kick.
Kellion winced. “That one was really hard, terataki.”
It was? I scooted close to him in concern, intent on checking whether his shin had started to show any signs of swelling. But then I caught him smirking again—
Aargh.
Kellion laughingly blocked my kicks this time. “I can’t help it if you worry all the time about me.”
I growled.
“Don’t you have a feeling they’re acting like newlyweds,” Yuri murmured reflectively.
Helios nodded. “It does feel that way.”
I opened my mouth to protest but then Kellion was kissing me, his tongue slipping between my lips. When he pulled away, my head was spinning and it wasn’t just from lack of oxygen. Was it crazy, how it seemed to me like Kellion’s kisses felt hotter and hotter?
When our eyes met, I took my revenge, pointing to his eyes then mine. I see you now, Kellion Argyros. Don’t you forget it. I will always see you.
His cheeks flushed.
I laughed. Thank you God for giving me the cutest boyfriend in the world.
“Shut up,” Kellion grumbled.
I threw my hands up. I didn’t say a thing.
“One of these days, I’ll make you sing—”
Because I was in a really good mood, I took a deep breath and sang. A few lines from an Ed Sheeran song because it was both the mushiest and prettiest I could think of.
When I opened my eyes, everyone had stunned looks on their faces.
“That,” Hailey said slowly, “gave me chills.”
“That was beautiful,” MJ said shyly.
“Even better than the original,” Andreus said in his usual gruff voice.
But when I glanced at Kellion, I was astonished to see him…furious.
He caressed my cheek with his knuckles, saying, “Do you know? I told myself if I’d ever fell in love, I’d never be as possessive and jealous as Helios—”
Helios let out a bark of laughter. “In your dreams, Argyros.”
“But I’m beginning to realize I’m worse.” And then he hefted me over his shoulder and carried me out of the room.
“Kel-lion!” I beat at his back, unable to believe that he was mad because—
I shook my head. “Why are you…mad?”
“Because you sang,” he snarled. When we reached our room, he kicked the door shut and nearly threw me to the bed, following me right after. I swallowed as he loomed over me, all six-foot-plus inches of him hard and tense and already half naked.
God, this biker.
In all my life, I was sure he’d remain the hottest man in the world.
“Your voice was beautiful.” It sounded like an accusation.
I couldn’t stop my lips from twitching. “So it’s…a crime?”
He stretched my cheeks wide. “Don’t laugh. I don’t want you singing again. It’s too much of a turn-on for most guys.”
This time, I started to laugh. “It’s just—singi—aaaaaaaaah.” I ended up moaning and gasping at the same time as Kellion suddenly tore my pajama bottoms from my body and flipped me on my back.
I looked at h
im over my shoulder. “What are you—aaaaaah.” He pushed his sweatpants down and a second later, he was balls deep inside me. A few thrusts and a few expert flicks on my clit, and I was instantly wet, his cock able to move in and out of me with ease.
I groaned when I felt him pulling my ass up in the air and spreading my legs wide open. When he shoved his cock back into me, it was a deeper and rawer penetration, making me let out a keening cry.
Kellion bent down, his chest pressing against my back. “You know what I want right now, terataki?”
“Whatever it…is,” I managed to gasp, “I’m sure…I don’t…want it.”
His low laugh tickled my ear. “You’re probably right, but you will do it for me anyway.” He licked my ear, making me shudder. “You know the part when that cartoon mermaid sings without words…” He hummed a tune even as he continued pounding into me, driving my upper half deeper and deeper against the bed while my ass wriggled in the air.
“I…know…that,” I managed to say even as I squeezed my eyes shut at the sheer pleasure of his possession.
“I want you to sing it while I fuck you.”
I jerked.
He pulled his cock all the way out, and I cried out in protest, “No.”
“Then you’ll sing it for me, terataki?”
I glared at him. “You…”
He slapped my butt, just hard enough for the sting to be deliciously sensual. “Answer me,” he growled, circling his cock inside me. “Will you do it for me?”
His cock drove me crazy, I wanted more and more of it, and I was willing to give anything for it. And so there was only one answer. “Yes.”
I sang as he fucked me, and it was a looooooooong fuck, one that started in the bed, continued on the sofa with me bouncing on his cock, and ended with my back against the door as he ate my pussy.
I totally fell asleep after that.
When I woke up, I was alone in the room, and I groggily reached for my phone. Several unread messages were waiting for me.
MJ: I don’t think I’ll ever look at mermaids quite the same way again after your, umm, performance.
Bobby: Just so you know, I heard you, err, singing. From the club’s yard. Because you didn’t close your balcony doors.