by Mia Sheridan
“You can say his name, Dustin.”
He let out a whoosh of breath, looking a little guilty, a little sad. “After Theo, I’d have thought Gran would take it easy on Audra. Hasn’t she suffered enough?”
I shook my head slowly. “Apparently not, according to Gran. I’m flying to Colorado for the meeting with the developers on Monday. I’ll get to the bottom of this then.”
Dustin studied me for a second. “You sure this is a good idea, Dane? I remember how you were seven years ago—”
“What choice do I have, Dustin? I’m not going to let Luella railroad Audra. It isn’t right. You know it isn’t. She’s not my wife anymore, but hell if I can just stand by as her whole life is obliterated.” I did that once. And once was one time too many. “Whatever problem Luella still has with Audra started with me. I’m going to end it.”
Dustin pressed his lips together. “Yeah, I guess you’re sort of between a rock and a hard place. Just . . . be careful, okay?”
“Think Luella will cut me out of the business again if I tell her to quit this bullshit?”
“No, you’re too damn good at your job. That’d just be stupid on her part and Luella’s many things, but stupid isn’t one of them. But in any case, it’s not Gran I was warning you about.”
One side of my mouth tilted upward, and I let out a humorless huff of breath. He was right—it was Audra alone who could twist my guts simply by standing in the room. Why? It’d been seven years and it was still the same. “Maybe I’m cursed. It’s the only explanation.”
“Maybe you have unfinished business.”
“What do you mean?”
Dustin sighed. “Did you ever work through losing Theo?”
I gave that a moment of thought. “I think so, Dustin, as much as anyone can.”
“What I mean is, did you ever work through it with her?”
“How could I? We couldn’t work through it when we were living in the same house, much less from over a thousand miles away. She divorced me, Dustin. All I can do is hope she’s found some peace on her own somehow.” When he didn’t immediately respond, I said, “I’m taking her to dinner tonight.”
“Ah, hence drinking at lunchtime.” He paused. “Again, be careful, okay? I’d hate like hell to see you in the state you were in seven years ago.”
I shook my head. “That’d be impossible.”
Dustin pressed his lips together again but stood. “Okay, well I had some business, but it’s nothing that can’t wait. Why don’t you go home early for once in your life and get your head together before tonight.”
I sighed, but stood too. “Yeah, maybe I will.”
“Good. Say hi to her from me, man,” he said before he walked out, closing the door behind him.
I stood for a moment, considering, and then walked to my desk, pressing the intercom that went to Tina’s desk. “Yes, sir,” she purred.
Annoyance raced through me. The way she’d treated Audra was unacceptable. I suspected she’d hidden her messages on purpose. I couldn’t prove it—even I admitted my organizational skills were lacking—but it gave me the perfect reason to fire her. I was sick and tired of her constant flirtation. It was the last thing I needed or wanted in an assistant, and I’d deal with her as soon as I got back.
“Tina, cancel my meetings for the rest of the week. I’ll be in Colorado. Email me if you need anything.”
“Okay. Do you need company—?”
“No. And cancel my appointments this afternoon too. I’m taking the rest of the day off.”
I hung up without waiting for her response.
I drove to Saratoga, and when I pulled through the gates of my driveway, I barely remembered the commute at all, so lost in thoughts of the girl who had once been my world.
I focused on the mountains behind my house, taking a deep calming breath. The mountainous backdrop had always been something I loved about my home state of Colorado, so when I’d moved to California, I’d chosen the small town of Saratoga, a beautiful residential community in the foothills of the Santa Cruz mountains.
Dropping my briefcase and keys on the table by the door, I began unbuttoning my shirt as I walked toward my bedroom. I was going to go for a long run and then do some laps in the pool before leaving to pick Audra up. I’d need my mind as clear as possible to survive tonight. I already had a feeling just being in a room with her for half an hour had caused something inside me to break free and drift to the surface. My feelings for her were all twisted and tangled. I couldn’t decide if I liked or hated the swirling excitement. But one thing was undeniable. It’d been almost eight years, but one damn look at her had thrown me into a fucking tailspin.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Then . . .
“Hey,” Dane said, throwing his backpack on the ground and taking Audra into his arms. She tried to relax in the warm safety of his embrace but didn’t manage it and he pulled back, his lips turning downward in worry. “Is everything okay?”
She shook her head, her heart pounding in her chest as she took her bottom lip between her teeth, her large dark eyes filling with tears.
“Baby, hey, what’s going on? Did someone—”
“Dane, I’m . . . I’m pregnant,” she said softly, her lips trembling. His head reared back and he took a step away from her. She flinched, his reaction causing a spiral of hurt to whirl through her chest, stealing her breath.
Dane shook his head slowly. “What? No. We . . . used protection. Every time.”
Her eyes searched his face for a moment, looking for understanding, or tenderness, but only finding confusion and distress. “It didn’t work. I don’t know . . .” She shook her head so slightly, the movement was barely discernible and Dane blew out a breath, running his hand through his hair.
“Pregnant,” he murmured, his brows coming together as if he was having trouble accepting the meaning of the word . . . the meaning of the situation they were in.
Audra turned away from him and wrapped her arms around her middle—the place where their baby grew, that tiny person they’d unknowingly created. She was scared . . . petrified. But she loved that little being already. Her body shook with both her own fear, and the panic she’d seen in his eyes.
She felt his warmth behind her, felt his arms slip around her waist to cover her own, and a small sob caught in her throat. He let go of her waist and turned her to face him. Her eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t do this on purpose, Dane.”
“Oh, Audra, baby.” He pulled her to him and held her, rubbing her back and kissing her forehead. “I know that. Jesus, I never thought for a minute you got pregnant on purpose.”
She pulled back slightly and looked up at him. “Your grandmother will.”
“Then I’ll tell her she’s wrong.” He took a deep breath. “We made this baby together, and we’re going to raise this baby together. I want you to marry me. We’re eighteen, and this is our decision, no one else’s—definitely not my grandmother’s.”
“What about Stanford?”
“Come with me. We’ll get an apartment together. I’ll go to classes during the day and be there to help with the baby at night.”
She released a breath. “I . . . can’t. My dad . . .”
He ran his hand through his hair, looking off into the distance for a moment. “Then I’ll transfer to a college close by—”
“No, Dane. You worked so hard to get into Stanford. You—”
“It doesn’t matter which college I go to. I’m going to run Townsend Robotics regardless. You’re more important to me than Stanford, Audra. Marry me,” he repeated, tipping her chin up so she was looking into his eyes.
“You don’t have to marry me just because I’m pregnant. I don’t . . . expect that of you.” Her voice was a choked whisper.
Dane stared at her for a second, his eyes moving over her features. “I don’t want to marry you because you’re pregnant. I want to marry you because I’m in love with you. I was going to ask you after I graduated. This baby
just decided to alter our plans a little bit.” He smiled gently at her.
She gave a small half laugh, half sniffle. A tear spilled and fell down her cheek. Dane caught it with his thumb and then leaned in and kissed her. Her heart welled with love, overflowing, just as her eyes had done. “Don’t cry,” he whispered. “You and me, remember?”
He took her in his arms again. “You and me,” she whispered.
“So that’s settled then. You’ll be my wife?”
She nodded against his neck, smiling before she said, “Yes.” And though he held her, kissing her, soothing her, and whispering words of love, she could feel that his muscles were still tensed. And it made her feel that though she carried his child inside her, she’d lost a part of him.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Dane
Now . . .
Audra had given me the address of the hotel where she was staying and I pulled up slowly in front of it, cursing when I saw the rattrap. Christ. No wonder she’d agreed to fly to Colorado with me. She probably needed the refund money she’d get for her plane ticket. Probably needed a meal too. Was business so bad that she had to stay somewhere she was likely to be raped and murdered? And why did I feel so fucking irrationally angry over it anyway? Her welfare was really none of my business anymore. And it still wouldn’t be after I’d straightened things out with my grandmother. What the hell was wrong with Luella anyway? Audra was obviously barely making ends meet and Luella was trying to take her livelihood—meager though it obviously was—away from her? What a cold bitch she could be. I wish I understood why she’d always been particularly cold with Audra.
I’d tried to insist that she take some money when we divorced despite that damn prenuptial agreement Audra had signed without so much as whispering a word about it to me. But she wouldn’t have any of it, and it wasn’t like I could force her to take my money. Maybe if I’d been in my right mind at the time, I would have found a way to do it.
As my mind wandered, I questioned if my actions last year—and what Luella knew of them—had unintentionally put this into motion. Even though I’d been shocked to see Audra today, something about it also felt . . . inevitable.
Wanted.
I swerved into an empty spot and a car blared its horn behind me, annoyed at my sudden maneuver. The guy flipped me off as he drove by, but I ignored him, hopping out and heading into the hotel.
It was just as dark and seedy-looking on the inside as I’d assumed it would be. I strolled past the clerk sleeping at the front desk and punched the up button for the single elevator. Minutes later I was rapping on Audra’s door. When it swung open, she took an immediate step back as if she hadn’t expected me to be quite so close. Her eyes swung to mine and she opened her mouth, then closed it again, took a deep breath and gave me a wobbly smile. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself. This place is a hellhole.”
That little indignant chin came up and I almost smiled, then almost frowned, blowing out a breath and running my fingers through my hair.
“It wasn’t exactly in the budget to make a last-minute trip to San Francisco. I was trying to save a few dollars. And it’s not that bad.”
I raised a brow, looking past her into the room that appeared to be decent, though there was a strange scent in the air. I scrunched my nose. Was that . . . roasting meat? She took a few steps backward and reached into the closet, removing a sweater. “Ready?” she mumbled.
“Yeah.” Jesus, I was acting like an ass. I stepped back. “Sorry. You look nice.” And she did. She was wearing a pair of tight jeans that showed off her slim, shapely legs, a black silky shirt with some sort of ruffling on the sleeves, and a pair of black heels. I wanted to let my eyes roam her curves, but I didn’t allow myself to, knowing it would be a bad idea. I could already sense the longing I’d always felt to touch her, feel her softness, welling up inside me.
“Thanks.” She looked over at my dark gray slacks and white button-up shirt as we began to walk toward the elevator. “So do you. I would have dressed up a little more, but I didn’t really pack anything—”
“What you’re wearing is perfect. I had this little Italian place in mind. It’s casual.” We made it to the elevator and I hit the down button. “If I recall correctly, you used to be able to put away your body weight in pasta.”
“Some things never change, I guess.” She laughed softly.
“No, I guess they don’t.” Our eyes met and lingered for a moment before Audra broke eye contact.
We entered the elevator and stood silently and somewhat awkwardly as it descended. I led her outside, past the still-sleeping desk clerk, cringing as I noticed the thin trail of saliva dribbling from the side of her open mouth. I took a deep breath of the outside air when we stepped through the door. It held the vague hint of trash and car exhaust, but it was still better than the musty odor of the hotel lobby.
I clicked the key fob on my car and opened the passenger door for Audra and stood waiting as she got inside. There was a group of young guys hanging in a doorway near where I was parked. As I watched them check her out, something hot and possessive ran through me. Ah, fuck. Habit, just old habit. That’s it.
I felt off balance, not fully in control, and I took the first five minutes of the car ride trying to reclaim my inner equilibrium. When I finally looked at Audra, she looked a little tense as she stared straight ahead out the windshield. “So tell me a little bit about your business,” I asked, feeling a twinge of something uncomfortable in my chest. I’d bought the warehouse as my wedding gift to her, and it pained me that I knew virtually nothing about what she’d done with it, other than that she ran a flower shop.
Her shoulders seemed to relax and she smiled, the first genuine one I’d seen since she walked into my office earlier that day. “I think you’d like what I’ve done with it. A lot of the improvements are things we talked about . . .” She cleared her throat. “It’s taken me longer than I hoped it would, and I’ve had to scrimp and save to do it, but I’m really proud of what it’s becoming.” She told me about creating vendor spaces and her vision of a one-stop vendor “mall” for brides.
“That’s an amazing idea, Audra.” And I meant it.
“Thanks. It’s finally starting to take shape, and I’m just beginning to see the payoff of all my work—”
“And then in walked Luella Townsend.”
She took her lip under her top teeth in that familiar way and nodded. “Yeah.”
I reached over and took her hand where it lay on her left thigh, squeezing it lightly. She startled and looked at me. I let go. I hadn’t meant to touch her, and the gesture had just come naturally. “It’s going to be okay. Your business is going to be fine.”
Her eyes moved quickly over my face and she nodded, then looked away. She took the hand I’d held in mine only moments before and linked it with her other one, rubbing the skin slowly as if I’d caused some physical sensation she was attempting to rub away.
I pulled up in front of the restaurant and five minutes later, we were seated by the window in the intimate, family-run restaurant.
“Wine?” I asked Audra. The last time I saw her we hadn’t even been of drinking age, so I really had no idea if she even drank alcohol. Truth was, despite my earlier office indulgence, I wasn’t much of a drinker myself.
“Sure, that sounds good. The last time I saw you, we weren’t even twenty-one yet,” she said, voicing exactly what I’d just thought.
“I know. We couldn’t even toast at our wedding. Well that, and you couldn’t drink anyway,” I said quietly.
With my words, she froze, her face draining of color, an expression of stunned pain moving through her eyes before she looked down at her menu. “What’s good here?” she asked, her voice a whisper that still managed to be slightly choked. Oh, Audra. My heart dropped to my feet. She still couldn’t even discuss being pregnant. I wondered if she’d talked about our son once in the seven years we’d been apart. Surely she did . . . sometimes. “Audra—”
“The pasta al forno sounds amazing.” She looked up at me and smiled, an overly bright one that didn’t meet her eyes. She looked back at her menu, the message crystal clear: that topic is off the table.
I sighed. “It is. It’s delicious.”
The waitress came to our table and a few minutes after that, we each had a glass of merlot in hand. “To catching up,” I said, clinking my glass with hers.
As I watched her take a sip and heard her sound of pleasure, I said, “I’ve wondered about you over the years.”
“I’ve thought about you too, Dane,” she said quietly, playing with the stem of the glass. “I’m actually surprised to know you haven’t re-married.”
“You figured I was married?”
She shrugged one shoulder, glancing around the restaurant before looking back at me. “I didn’t give it a whole lot of thought, but, yeah.” She smiled. “I figured a man like you’d be snatched off the market pretty quickly.”
I regarded her for a moment. A man like you. Who was that to her? Eligible? Loveable? Divorceable? “I came close last year,” I admitted.
Her eyes snapped to mine and she blinked. “Oh . . . well, I’m sorry. I mean, that it didn’t work out.”
“Not everything works out.”
“No, no it doesn’t. What, ah, happened? I mean”—she took a sip of her wine—“you don’t have to tell me. It’s really none of my business.”
That was true, but for some inexplicable reason, I wanted her to know. “She was the daughter of a family friend and happened to move to San Francisco a couple of years ago. We got together as old friends and things progressed from there. It seemed . . . easy, I guess, that we were already acquainted.” Audra’s body seemed stiff, though her finger was moving casually around the bottom of her wine glass. “After a year, it seemed like the next logical step was to get engaged. I went home to—“ I stopped suddenly, realizing what I’d been about to say.
“You went home to get the ring your grandmother promised to the first grandchild to get married. Unless, of course, they were marrying me.”