“I’m sorry,” I murmured. Tex waved away the sentiment.
“So, we have Captain Parsons driving the SUV with six passengers, and I’ll drive the RV with you, Jude, the medic, and four of the others. We should be able to make it back in a little over two hours.” I nodded. Sounded about right.
“Look, I wanted to talk to you,” I said softly. Tex caught my gaze and held it. His eyes searched mine and then he smiled gently.
“There’s nothing to talk about, sweetheart. I understand. There’s no hurt feelings,” he said. I smiled and felt a weight that I hadn’t even know was there lift from my sore shoulders.
“Are we good to go then?” I asked in relief. Tex nodded and mumbled a “we’re good” as he walked away. Something was off with Tex, but I couldn’t place what it was. I guess there would be plenty of time to talk to him about it later … once we were at the base. Captain Parsons let out an ear-splitting whistle and we all jumped into our awaiting vehicles, anxious to be on the move.
Our trek home went without a hitch.
“I THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE zombie bait for sure.” Before I could respond, I was pulled forward by two dark, muscular arms until I was completely enfolded in Ghost’s embrace. I only flinched a little at the pain in my arm. “Thanks for bringing him back to us alive,” he said gruffly as he pulled back.
“I did my best, but I sure wish I could have brought him back without a bullet wound,” I answered wearily. Ghost lifted my chin with one long finger and made me meet his eyes.
“You can’t control everything, Melody Carter. Jude’s a big boy and he was lucky to have you with him on that suicide mission.” I smiled at him as Jude entered the room.
“I’ve been commanded to go straight to bed,” he said grouchily as he joined us. I laughed and put arm around his waist.
“Well, let’s get you tucked in, shall we?”
“Man. I’d take her up on that offer quick if I were you. A lot of guys would love to hear those words from her lips,” Ghost teased. Jude scowled over at him as I pulled him toward the exit.
“Wait, what did he mean a lot of guys?” Jude grumbled. I sighed and threw Ghost a dirty look over my shoulder as we left the room. His laughter followed us all the way down the hallway.
After I tucked Jude into his room, I went to check on how everyone else was doing. A few soldiers were being still being treated for minor wounds, several had already retired to their new rooms, and some were sitting in the small common area chatting amongst their new base-mates. I smiled as I watched the young female medic, Maria, blush while Big Ben flirted outrageously with her. I shook hands with Major Tillman and was just about to head to my own room when Captain Parsons stepped in my path.
“Melody, may I speak with you a moment, please?” he asked. I smiled at him until I caught on to how serious he was.
“Of course, Captain. What can I do for you?” I asked. He smiled at that and I marveled at how much he reminded me of an older version of my dad. I blinked rapidly and turned away from his gaze, not wanting him to see me get all girly and emotional. He cleared his throat.
“You have done so much for me, so much for my men already.” He looked down at his hands and then back up again at me, his gaze sincere. “I hope I can help you some day, to pay you and Jude back for what you did for us.” I was shaking my head the whole time he spoke. As if we would expect anything in return. “But for right now … I have to ask you for a small favor.” That caught my attention. “Not for me … but for one of my men.” He said uneasily. I smiled again and shook my head.
“Captain, spit it out. I’d be honored to do anything I can for you or any of your men,” I said gently.
“It’s Tex,” he said, watching my reaction. I hissed in a breath through my teeth and narrowed my eyes.
“What about him?” I asked. I knew something was going on with Tex, I just wasn’t sure what it was. It seemed the Captain had a better clue than I did.
“He’s leaving,” he said flatly. I thought I misheard him.
“Leaving?” I asked as if it didn’t make any sense. Where could he be going? Captain Parsons nodded his head.
“The darn fool has it in his head that he needs to be alone, so he’s planning on heading out into ....” His voice trailed off. I knew what he was getting at. Tex was headed out into a world that we really had no clue about, a world full of misery and death … and he was going to do it all alone. I’d done that for two years and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. He was an idiot and I was going to have to knock some sense into his honky-tonk-lovin’ ass. I gritted my teeth and glanced over at the door that led topside.
“I’ll take care of it.” I said.
“Thank you,” he answered. I nodded and shook hands with him.
“Now, please go get some rest, Sir,” I suggested. He smiled as he walked away to check on the rest of his men. I left to tell the Major I was going to be MIA for a few. He didn’t question what I was doing, he just told me to be careful. I gave him a smart salute and pulled my knife from its sheath. He shook his head and sighed. A few minutes later, I found Tex sitting in an office, staring at a telephone like it might ring at any moment.
“You waiting on a call?” I asked. He smiled wryly, his eyes never leaving the desk phone.
“It’s funny, really. I always hated to hear a phone ring. I despised my cell phone. I’d only gotten one in case Alison needed to reach me. So many people were caught up in their devices, their smart phones, laptops, and such. They tended to forget about real life going on all around them.” His voice lowered as he stared at the phone. “I’d give anything to hear a phone ring again. To hear people bustle about, full of life and dreams.” I took a deep breath, hurting a little for him and his pain. “How’d you know I was up here?” he asked a second later. I shrugged and sat down on the edge of the desk.
“What are you doing, Tex?” I asked after a moment. He sighed deeply and raised his eyes to meet mine for the first time.
“I’m doing what I need to do right now.” My mouth flew open and I was ready to rip him a new one when he immediately cut me off. “I can’t be here, Melody. Not right now. I know you think this is the absolute worst thing someone could do with the world the way it is right now,” he said quickly. “And I would agree with you … normally. But, I know what I need right now. I know where I’m at, what I’ve dealt with and how much more I can take,” he said vehemently. “I need this.” He said, his eyes wide and pleading.
I stood up and walked over to the window and peered out through the blinds. Two zombies were lumbering around the small RV we’d picked up on our way back to the base. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I didn’t want him to go. It wasn’t good for anyone to be out there alone with the way things were. But, I couldn’t help but understand where he was coming from and kind of get what he was saying. Only Tex knew his mind and heart. Only Tex could make a decision like this for himself. He seemed to be making the decision with a clear head, so who was I to make him feel like crap for it?
“I don’t like it,” I said, as if it made a difference. I turned to face him. He grinned at me and got to his feet.
“I know you don’t, sweetheart. And I know Captain Parsons doesn’t either. But, you’ll both let me go, because you know it’s the right thing to do.” I huffed out a breath and followed him to the door.
“You better not get killed, Tex,” I said angrily. He smiled wider and reached for the door knob.
“I don’t plan on it,” he said with a wink.
“If it gets to be too much out there by yourself ….”
“I’ll pack up and bring my ass right back here,” he finished for me. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the wall. He turned the knob and cracked the door open.
“Tex, what’s your real name anyway?” I asked as he stepped through the doorway. He didn’t turn or even look back.
“I’ll tell you some other time,” he said softly.
“Promise?” I
whispered. A pause.
“Promise,” he murmured as he shut the door behind him.
I stood there, leaning up against the wall, for quite a while after I heard the RV start up and leave the area. I thought about all I’d been through since that first day that the airplane fell from the sky to land in our neighborhood. I thought about all the time I spent alone in the woods, fending for myself and just trying to survive day by day. I thought of all the things that had happened to me over the last several days … meeting other survivors, meeting Jude, almost dying a couple of times, meeting Tex, getting shot by my psycho ex-best friend, and then having to kill her.
I thought of all that … all the horrible things and all the good things and I couldn’t help but to have … hope. Hope that tomorrow would be a better day. Hope that the world could bounce back from the horrible, gaping wound it had suffered.
And hope that humanity would be able to find its way back from all the darkness, pain, and loss.
IT HAD BEEN OVER THREE weeks since everything had gone down at the Charlotte army base and yet I still couldn’t seem to shake the overwhelming feeling of loss and betrayal surrounding me like a fog. I couldn’t shut out the little voice of doubt every time I thought of Tex and how I had let him go out into the infested world all alone on a soul-searching mission or some such bull crap. Anger had been welling up inside of me so much lately that the guys had begun throwing around words like “hormonal” and “she-bitch” when they thought I couldn’t hear them. For the past week I had even pushed Jude away, holding him at arm’s length for whatever screwed up reason my mind had concocted.
So, here I was squatting outside in overgrown weeds on the outskirts of the base, taking my anger and frustrations out on every single zombie I could find. It wasn’t a difficult task and I’d convinced myself that we would be just that much safer if I thinned out the area several times a week, so that when we went out for a supply run, we’d have an easier time of it. Jude had stopped trying to convince me to stay inside. Everyone had.
I stood up from my hiding spot and rubbed the back of my neck. I glanced around the area in the fading light and squinted my eyes to scan the distant field. There weren’t near as many zombies in the area as there had once been. Usually on any given day, even after I’d cleared them out a day or two before, I’d easily find a dozen or more zombies in our backyard. This time I had probably only taken out around six. And now that I thought about it, all the zombies I’d taken down in the past week or so had been a bit too easy. Maybe I was getting better at the killing. I wasn’t sure if that was such a good thing, but one thing I did know was that it would keep me alive longer. There was that.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m about ready to call it a day,” The voice came from close by and belonged to the young female medic, Maria, who we’d brought with us from the Charlotte base. I’d put my jealousy of her gorgeousness aside when I was sure she didn’t have her eyes on Jude as anything other than a patient. We’d become pretty close since then. It helped that she didn’t ask questions and was an amazing shot. I hadn’t had anyone of the same sex to talk to since … well, in a very long time.
“Yeah, my shoulders are killing me. I could use some grub and a shower,” I answered grudgingly. “You go ahead, I’ll follow behind you in a few.” She nodded and accepted what I said without blinking. She knew I needed my time alone and she knew as much as anyone that I could handle myself out here.
“Okay, I’ll see you inside. Be careful.” I smiled at her and began a final lap around the perimeter of the base. I took it slow, letting myself really enjoy the outdoors. I wasn’t stupid. I knew the base, the underground safe house, was the safest place for anyone to be, but sometimes I missed the fresh air. I missed the outdoors, the open sky, and the sounds of nature. Because even though there were now unnatural sounds echoing all around the world, sounds that had no business haunting people’s nightmares, I still missed the sound of a bird singing, the sound of the small river out in the woods as it trickled its way through the forest. Even in our most fucked up world, the good could still be seen and heard … if you were willing to look hard enough. I sighed deeply and slung my gun onto my back.
I sprinted across the property and skirted around a few buildings until I spotted a solitary zombie in between me and the door to the main office building. I slowed my pace to a brisk walk as I made my way toward the undead man. About the time he noticed me, I was within ten feet of him. Instead of closing the distance between us and dispatching the corpse like I normally would have, I stood and waited for him to come to me. The zombie opened its mouth to groan and gnash its teeth, but the sound that came from its throat was off. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it definitely didn’t sound the same … it sounded … juicier.
The zombie’s head also seemed abnormally large, the cranium nearly double the size of what it should have been. Besides all that, an eyeball was hanging from one of its eye sockets and dangled back and forth as it stumbled forward. How attractive. I shuddered as the mutant zombie made an effort to come after me. He was slow. Very slow. Maybe it was because of the shape the corpse was in … maybe I was over thinking it. Maybe. When he finally made it close enough to me, I didn’t even have to dodge him. I just struck him once, right in the forehead. He didn’t have a chance … and neither did my clothing. The zombie’s head popped like I’d just burst a balloon that had been overstuffed with rank, rotten innards. The zombie-head-piñata burst and all its glorious prizes spewed forth in one huge splash all over me. I gagged and wiped some unknown substance off of my cheek as I stumbled toward the door.
I was never going to live this down.
I WAS SCARFING DOWN A protein bar and some nuts when Jude entered the mess hall and sat down at my table the next morning. “So, I heard you were quite the sight when you came in yesterday.” His lip twitched with the effort it took to keep from smiling. I scowled and popped the last bit of protein bar into my mouth, watching him from beneath lowered lashes.
“The freaking zombie just burst like I’d stuck a pin in an over inflated balloon. Blood, guts, and crap just spewed all over me,” I answered grumpily. The guys were still giving me crap about it this morning. My one-finger-salute and my very colorful vocabulary didn’t sway their hilarity. I opted to ignore them from this point on. Jude, very wisely, kept his wise cracks in check.
“How was it out there?” he asked after a moment.
“I don’t know. The same, but different. I can’t put my finger on it, but something has changed.” Jude nodded and stood up from the table.
“Well, looks like we are going to get a chance to check it out. Major Tillman wants us to lead a group out today.” I finished off my bottle of water and studied Jude’s face. His face was … resigned.
“You didn’t want me to go.” It wasn’t a question. He ran a hand through his hair and stared at the top of the table.
“It’s not that I don’t think you can handle yourself. It’s not that you’re a female. So, don’t take it wrong. It’s just that … well, I’d like to be able to go out like I used to.” I stood, pushing away from the table and came to stand in front of Jude with my arms crossed over my chest.
“And how did you go out when you didn’t have me to tag along?” I asked quietly. Jude sighed deeply before answering.
“With a clear conscience,” he stated without apology. My arms fell to my side and I took a step back. “I was able to lead my missions, to go out there without any thought for myself. If I died … I died so that others could survive. If I die tomorrow, I’d feel the same. But, when you’re out there with me …” He shook his head. “I’ll be worried about you and I might not be able to make the hard choices. I’ll be worried that you’ll get hurt. And if you got hurt—if you were to die, then nothing—none of this—will haven’t meant anything.” I stood there with no idea what to say. I couldn’t help how he felt and I couldn’t just stay home and out of harm’s way to keep him from worrying about me. That was
part of the world we now lived in. I put a hand on his arm and waited for him to turn his face toward me.
“Jude, you can’t keep the people you care about bubbled away from the harsh reality of the world. I could stay here this time, but the truth is that we put ourselves in harm’s way now by just living. I could get hurt here on my daily rounds, we could have a breech, we could run out of food and water, or an illness could sweep through the base. That is our reality. No matter what happens though, no matter what we face, I would rather be by your side when it does. I would rather die tomorrow fighting with you than sit here twiddling my thumbs and wondering if you’ll ever come back to me.” His eyes softened and his hand came up to caress my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned my face into it.
“I love you, Melody Carter.” My eyes popped open and I stared at his face, noting the crooked smile on his lips. “I think I’ve loved you since the moment you attacked me butt-naked and socked me in the eye.” I grinned and felt my cheeks warm.
“I love you too, Agent Harrison,” I said with a small smile. “Now, let’s go round up the guys.” He nodded and grabbed my hand, tangling his fingers with mine as we made our way around the base, gathering our group to forage for food and supplies.
΅
“OKAY, SO HERE’S THE THING,” Jude began when we were all topside and gathered in the office building. “This won’t be just a regular supply run.” I raised my brow. I hadn’t even known this. I glanced around the room and into the other dozen or so faces as they listened and immediately knew that no one else had known either. “Major Tillman didn’t want to alarm anyone, but we are extremely short on supplies. Not only are we low on medical supplies, but we are dangerously low on food supplies as well.”
“How low?” Ghost asked, his deep voice seeming to boom off of the walls of the small office space. Jude caught each of our eyes and then met Ghost’s inquiring stare.
State of Decay (Omnibus (Parts 1-4)) Page 16