by Kira Blakely
I twisted the bike around to go in the opposite direction. My blood was pumping hard in my veins as I beelined for another hill. That was when my eyes landed on the press booth where I spotted Ava standing up to lean over the railing in my direction. My heart leaped in relief to see her but I also felt my bike falling from my hands and legs. I realized quickly that I was in serious trouble. Screams filled the air.
The ground rushed up toward me a few seconds later. Something hot landed on my right thigh before the rest of the world went black.
Chapter 30
Ava
A commotion farther down the tunnel caught my attention as I passed through various groups of fans and team members. I flashed a security pass at one of the security guards when he held up his hand at me before letting me go.
The commotion only got worse as I hurried along the entrance in the direction of the ramp that led out into the arena.
“Ladies and gentlemen! It’s time for the main event of the evening!”
Cheers broke out. The entire arena vibrated with energy as I rushed through the crowd in the direction of the arena. Racers were lined up and ready. I scanned the line for any sight of Jude before he entered the arena. He was at the very top half on his bike, already with an ESPN reporter whispering something into his ear before taking a step back. Jude nodded in acknowledgement before pulling on the throttle.
“Jude!” I shouted, trying desperately to get through the crowds. I had this overwhelming urge to let him know how much I loved him. “Jude!”
It was too late. Jude took off with his tires squealing against the concrete of the entrance before hitting the dirt in a cloud of dust.
“Shit,” I whispered and started in the direction of the press booth. I would have to sit through an entire show for the first time if I wanted a second chance to talk to him. It was clear from my unanswered texts and phone calls that he didn’t want to talk to me.
That same commotion erupted behind me. I turned to see Chuck with a bloody nose being escorted out with police and security guards surrounding him on all sides. His eyes focused on me when he realized that I was standing a few feet away from him. I took in his nose, obviously swollen and broken, and a stab of satisfaction went through me. Whatever had happened before I arrived, he deserved it. He fucking deserved it for messing with my job but for also using Jude. There was no doubt in my heart that he would be the one pushing Jude over the edge from mismanagement.
“You!” he shouted, kicking a leg at me. “You did this. You hear me, bitch? I’m going to sue his ass and yours! You can bet your fucking life on it!”
I did the only thing that I could think to do right then. It was the only thing that felt right in expressing how I genuinely felt.
I flipped him off as the police dragged him in the direction of the exit. I grinned to myself when a chorus of cheers erupted while Chuck was dragged out, shouting obscenities in everyone’s direction.
“Hey, lady!”
I stopped short when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to find a young racer who could pass as a cowboy standing in front of me, from the tight jeans he wore and his cowboy hat. He was young, too. Maybe in his earlier twenties.
“You’ve been hanging around JJ, right?” he shouted over the noise. “I’m Billy, by the way. I race with JJ.”
“Pleasure to meet you,” I shouted back, pumping his hand quickly. “I need to get up there to—”
Billy pulled me in close to shout in my ear over the revving of the engine. “Listen, I don’t think that JJ is all right. I tried to tell him that it wasn’t worth his life but he wouldn’t listen to me.”
My heart contracted at the look that Billy gave me.
“You smelled alcohol on him?”
“Bad,” he said, nodding. “I don’t know what’s going on. He punched Chuck in the face, then fired him. I don’t know what he’s thinking but he never acts like this. Not since I’ve been racing with him for the past year.”
“Thank you for telling me. Let’s just hope that he gets through his show okay. I’ll try talking to him after.”
Billy looked at me skeptically. “Good luck with that, lady.”
Yeah, good luck with that. Jude was apparently in one of his dark and brooding moods if he had shown up intoxicated.
I climbed the steps to the press booth. Cheers echoed in the arena as I leaned over the railing to see where Jude was. I spotted him on his dirt bike, facing the counter while he waited for the green light. Even if my heart thrummed anxiously in my chest, I forced myself to stay there. Just for once. I had to stay through an entire show to prove that I supported him.
The energy in the arena was unreal as a chorus of Jude’s name echoed. His engine revved up when the green light flashed. I held my breath as he raced forward toward a hill to sail up into the air. To the rest of the world, they didn’t see it like I did. They didn’t see that small shake of the bike that was never there. He landed on both wheels, though, below the hill, but it was clear that something wasn’t right when he stuck a foot out to rebalance himself on the bike.
What had happened since he left?
I leaned across the railing, despite the security guard yelling at me to stop. Something wasn’t right. Jude was wobbling on the bike. He went for another hill. The stunts continued to get riskier and more dangerous. They weren’t coordinated, either. Not like the other times. The entire arena was on the edge of their seats because they sensed it, too. Something wasn’t right.
I clutched the railing as Jude twisted his bike around to face in my direction. Dirt sprayed up under the tires as he shifted to head straight for another hill. Even though his helmet obscured his entire face from view, I still felt his icy eyes land on me as he and the bike soared up into the sky. I could feel the burn of his eyes on me.
I stared across at him, breathless. The bike continued to drift farther away from his fingers but he quickly reached out to grab the bar. They toppled down to the earth in a tangle of limbs and metal. My heart sank to the balls of my feet as Jude crashed down hard to the ground with a sickening thud before rolling down the hill with the bike landing on top of his chest and thigh.
All hell broke loose in the arena. A scream escaped my throat. I was tempted to jump over the railing, to brave the long fall as medics and staff from the arena rushed out immediately to pull the bike off of him. Pain flashed through my fingers as I clutched the railing hard, with my eyes focused on the group of crouched people around a motionless Jude.
“We need the paramedics out on the field,” the announcer said grimly. “A board, please! Hurry.”
A board. Those words washed over me numbly as paramedics rushed onto the field with a board. They had strapped Andy to a damned board when they arrived at the quarry that night. It was never a good sign. That usually meant broken spines. A broken neck. Death.
The paramedics worked around Jude’s motionless body before they rolled him carefully, slowly onto the board. They hadn’t even pulled his helmet off yet. They lifted Jude up to carry him in the direction of the entrance. A chorus of claps and cheers followed but it was met with nothing. Jude remained utterly still on the board. I managed to leave the stands to hurry in the direction of the stairs. I used a hand on the railing to keep my feet from falling out from beneath me.
Security pushed me back when I tried to push through the crowd. I needed to get to Jude. I needed to hold his hand, to feel the life in him. Tears were streaking down my face as I tried to peer around the line of security guards who were pushing everyone to the side of the tunnel.
“Out of the way!” they shouted. “This is an emergency! We need to get him to the hospital immediately!”
“I need to get on that ambulance,” I shouted to one of the security guards. “Please. I have to—”
“No, ma’am. You can’t get in the ambulance unless you are family.”
“You don’t understand. Jude and I—”
“Ava!”
I twisted around in
the chaos of the crowd. The constant echo of camera shutters filled the tunnel. I found Billy and his team rushing up to me. Their faces were pale white and stricken with fear like mine. Billy took ahold of my hand to drag me in the direction of the exit.
“Come on,” he shouted over the commotion. Fans were pushing all around us as the paramedics rushed Jude out. “They are loading him in the ambulance. We can take you to the hospital.”
“Thank you,” I cried, clutching Billy’s hand tightly in mine. “Thank you, Billy. Thank you.”
I prayed the entire time as the ambulance doors slammed shut when we reached the parking lot. Sirens screamed as the ambulance took off in the direction of the hospital. I prayed to God that Jude was alive. Not dead and strapped to a gurney like Andy had been years ago.
Chapter 31
Jude
I floated in and out of darkness for what felt like eternity. Voices echoed around me, along with horrified screams. Then, Ava’s voice in the background. Pain erupted inside me, no matter what limb I moved. Searing hot pain. The type of pain that instantly made my gut turn out of reflex. I had nothing left to puke out, either. I had clenched my eyes shut when the paramedics had rolled me onto a board. That was when I had wished for death to take me swiftly. Fuck it, if I was in front of millions of people. Death felt much better than that burning pain.
Darkness took me for a long time, then. The steady beep of machines filled my ears when I came back from the darkness. Warm blankets were draped over my legs. My head felt pleasantly fuzzy from whatever drugs I had been given throughout my time in unconsciousness. I didn’t feel anything. I was numb, and I liked it.
I forced my eyes open to take in the large hospital room I was in. There were several machines around me. Two IVs were taped to my right forearm and wrist. There were several patches attached to my chest and head. Pain shot through me hard when I reached up to touch my bandaged forehead.
“Fuck,” I said, wincing. I glanced down at the bandages around my arm. “Sprain. Broken bones. What else happened?”
The door to the hospital room opened. A young nurse stepped in and saw my eyes were open and looking around. She smiled at me as she came to my bedside.
“Good to see you awake, Mr. Jacobs,” she said. “How are you feeling?”
I ran a tongue along my fuzzy teeth. I needed water. My entire mouth and tongue felt cracked and parched.
“Torn between being drugged and completely fucked up,” I said. “I can move my neck.”
That little fact made my heart race with relief. I stared down at my leg that was also wrapped in bandages and elevated in a sling.
“What about my leg?” I asked. “Is it…”
“Bruised,” the nurse said, patting my arm. “Your shoulder is severely sprained but I will let the doctor come in and talk to you about your injuries. Do you remember what happened?”
My mind floated back to the arena where I had seen Ava in the crowd. I remembered that rush of emotions at the sight of her before realizing that my bike was tumbling forward. I dimly remembered hitting the ground and the sear of the bike engine against my right thigh. Voices. I remembered the screams. That was it. Everything after that moment was dark and muddy.
“I crashed on my bike,” I said. “That part, I remember. Everything after that is a bit dark.”
“I imagine. Your head got a good lashing inside that helmet of yours, but the helmet did its job. You’ve only been in a coma for two days.”
“A coma?”
“Yes,” she said, nodding. “Coma. You came in with a concussion, so the doctor thought it’d be best to keep you asleep until the swelling went down.”
I shifted against the pillows that were pushed against my back uncomfortably. My clothes were gone, too. I had nothing on me that was mine. I searched the room while the nurse added another bag of liquids to my IV drip.
“Do you have my phone?” I asked. “I need to make a couple of phone calls.”
I wanted to call Ava. Her face had flashed through my head through the entire incident. It was her voice that I heard in my head throughout the chaos of voices around me. I knew that she hadn’t been a figment of my imagination. She had shown up to the Games. I had seen her in the stands.
And she is probably flipping the fuck out over the crash. Guilt crushed my chest as I looked at the nurse who shook her head at me.
“I don’t have any of your possessions,” she said. “There is a female journalist outside in the ICU waiting room. She’s been camping out here for the past three days. I’m not sure if she knows you the way that she says she does, but—”
“Does she have dark hair?” I asked, heart pounding. The machine next to me started to beep at the increase. “Her name is Ava James, if that’s the same journalist I’m thinking of.”
“I’m not sure of her name. She arrived with a few other racers three days ago. She hasn’t left since but hospital procedure says we can’t let her in because she is technically press. We didn’t know her relationship to you, either.”
“Bring her in,” I said. “If she isn’t who I think it is, she can leave.”
The nurse nodded as she left the room. I scanned the room again for any sight of my personal possessions. I didn’t like the fact that my wallet and phone were gone. Wait, shit. My phone was in the quarry. I shook my head at myself. I had tossed the damn thing in the quarry back in Gypsum because I was pissed. No wonder everyone was confused about looking for my phone.
Before I could hit the nurse button to call her back, the door opened. Ava stepped into the room with the nurse directly behind her. Tears filled Ava’s eyes as she gazed at me. Relief. Fear. A variety of emotions filled her eyes as she slowly approached the foot of my bed.
The machines around me went nuts with my heart rate increasing. The nurse reached up to turn the noise level down as she looked at me. “Is this who you were thinking it is?”
“Yes,” I said thickly. “It is. Thank you.”
“Of course. I’ll give you some time alone, then.”
She shut the door quietly to give us privacy. Ava stood nervously at the edge of my bed as she twisted her press lanyard in her fingers. She looked like utter hell, like me, I imagined. Her dark hair was greasy. Mascara was smudged beneath her bloodshot eyes. Her clothes were also wrinkled.
“You look like shit,” I commented, which earned a small smile. “Have you even taken a shower since you’ve been here?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve been concerned about you. I haven’t slept anywhere besides that waiting room.”
“You didn’t have to do that. You could’ve gone back to Gypsum. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine, though,” Ava said. Tears filled her eyes again. “How are you feeling? The crash—”
“I hurt like hell,” I interrupted her with a shake of my head. Pain washed over me again. “I think that’s rather obvious from all the drugs they are giving me in this drip. Where’s the button for it?”
“Button for what?”
“The drip,” I growled, lifting the blankets to look down at the top of my thigh. A green and yellow bruise peeked out from beneath the bandage. “Holy shit. My thigh is bruised. Did you see this shit?”
“Not up close and personal,” Ava said as she approached to lift the blanket. She lifted the tiny button hooked up to the machine. “Here. Make sure to use it sparingly. You don’t want to waste all the medicine when the pain is manageable.”
I clicked the button to fight the pain off, even though I knew she was right. I was already floating in a pleasurable numbness from the drugs. Just seeing Ava after everything that had happened was bringing out a whole new layer of fresh pain that had little do with the physical ones. She had shown up to the show after I left Gypsum in a haze of anger and darkness.
“What are you doing here?” I asked once the medicine washed over me. “You told me to go on my way, so I did. What are you doing here?”
“Are you going to be chur
lish with me?” Ava asked. “Because if you are, then I’m going to leave. I’m not going to fight with you after watching you nearly kill yourself out there, Jude.”
“I’m going to survive,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “This isn’t the first time that I crashed, Ava. It’s a part of the sport.”
“Billy told me that he could smell alcohol on you,” she said. I looked away when her eyes burned into me. “I came all the way out to the Games to tell you that I love you, but you rewarded me with a crash because—”
“What did you just say?” I interrupted, gazing at her intently.
Ava shifted uncomfortably next to my bedside. She sucked in a deep breath before looking at me again.
“You heard me. I came out here to Chicago to tell you that I love you.”
Chapter 32
Ava
The past three days had passed by in a surreal and terrified blur, sitting in the ICU waiting room with Billy and his team. It was the only way that I could get information from the nurses and doctors. They had no idea who I was, and because it was well-known that Jude didn’t have a wife or girlfriend, they had been quick to dismiss me.
“He’ll be fine in time,” they had told me. “Once he wakes, if he says that you can come in, we will let you come in.”
I refused to leave, though. I didn’t care how long it took for Jude to wake up from the coma they were keeping him in to let the swelling in his brain go down. I would wait here to tell him what I had flown to Chicago to tell him. That I loved him. That I was in love with him. I wanted to spend my life with him. I didn’t want him to give up his career because of my fear. That he was right for moving on with his life, to not let fear dictate his life.
Standing at Jude’s bedside, I realized that those words had tumbled out of my mouth before I could mentally prep myself. I scanned his battered body. IVs were taped to his uninjured arm. There were patches and wires poking out of his hospital gown in every direction imaginable.