I groaned. The last thing I wanted was to have to spend two days a week with strangers giving me looks of pity and talking to me like I was a fragile child. "I suppose I don't have a choice in the matter, do I?"
"You always have a choice, Sean, but I would really like you to give it a chance. We've set it up for Monday at one o'clock. If you absolutely hate it; then we'll discuss a different type of therapy."
"Okay."
He smiled. "Good. Is there anything else you'd like to discuss?"
"When is my non-existent leg going to stop hurting?"
I'm just your therapist. You know I can't answer that question."
I smiled, and then I laughed. I knew that, but I asked anyway just so he'd have to repeat himself.
"I see your sense of humor is still functioning."
"Hey, do you know who will be coming here to play music with me?"
Dr. Monroe stood and went around behind his desk, shuffling papers until he found the one he wanted. He grinned broadly. "Nicole Baker and Antonia Valentino, two of the women who were part of the quintet that performed here yesterday. It says that one is a pianist and the other…a singer."
My eyes widened and my jaw hung open. The singing woman who I hadn't been able to stop thinking about was going to come here and play music with me? That was fantastic! I didn't think I'd ever get to see the singing woman again, and now she's going to be coming here twice a week. Suddenly, musical therapy didn't seem so bad. Although, the look on her face when she'd seen my missing leg was seared into my brain. I really hoped she hadn't agreed to do this out of pity. I couldn't handle that.
"I noticed you're not wearing your prosthetic today. Is there a problem with it?" Dr. Monroe nodded toward my missing leg.
"Not really." I shrugged. "It still doesn't feel right."
"Well, it's going to take some time to adjust."
"Yeah, I know." I grabbed my crutches from where they rested against the desk, tucked them under my armpits, and stood. "Are we done?"
"We're done if there's nothing else you want to talk about."
I hesitated for a moment, but then decided not to say anything else. "Thanks, Dr. Monroe. See you tomorrow," I said - then hobbled out the door on my crutches.
CHAPTER 3
Nicole Baker
I was supposed to have been here on Monday, but I'd received a call saying the session had been cancelled. I wasn't given a reason. At first, I was paranoid, thinking maybe the Veteran's Center had changed their mind about using our services. Thank God that wasn't the case. I stopped just outside the door and took a calming breath. I was both excited and nervous to be back at the Veteran's Center. Of course, Toni was running late(as usual) so I had to start the session alone. Sometimes I could just wring her neck. It's now or never, I thought as I pulled open the heavy door and walked inside. The girl at the front desk greeted me with a smile.
"Hi! Can I help you with something?" she said.
I smiled. "Yes, I'm here to see Steve Boyd."
"Oh, he's around here somewhere." She laughed. "Let me find him for you."
"Thanks." I noticed the Center was eerily quiet compared to what it had been when I was here last week. And that's when I heard the soft sounds of a violin solo. The music was unmistakable: it was the main theme from Schindler's List. Whoever was playing was exceptionally good. I'd never heard notes that sounded as if they wept when they left the bow. It was fantastic and I couldn't stop myself from following the sounds down the hallway until I reached the community room.
There, sitting next to a baby grand piano, was my brown-eyed soldier, a violin tucked under his chin and his eyes closed, obviously lost in his music. My breath caught in my throat and I stood mesmerized, unable to look away. I felt kind of like a voyeur watching him like I was. Playing music was like bearing your soul - it was therapeutic, all consuming, and very private. I was contemplating turning away when the music stopped.
The sound of a man clearing his throat behind me was startling. I let out a tiny gasp, placed my hand over my heart, and turned to find Steve Boyd, the program director. I blushed, embarrassed to be caught unaware. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to…it's just…"
Steve smiled. "It's okay. People tend to stop everything when the Sergeant plays."
My eyes widened. "That's the Sergeant?" My brown-eyed soldier was the Sergeant? The man I was here to play music with? I couldn't believe it.
"Yeah, come on, I'll introduce you," Steve said.
I hesitantly followed Steve to the other side of the room. I'd been thinking about this man since I'd first laid eyes on him, but now I was actually going to meet him. It was surreal and slightly terrifying. Oh how I wished Toni was here with me right now.
"Sergeant, this is Nicole Baker, the woman who has agreed to help with your musical therapy. Nicole, this is Sergeant Sean McKenzie," Steve said.
Shyly, I extended my hand to him. "Nice to meet you, Sergeant." Wow! He was much more handsome up close.
He took my hand and gave it a gentle shake. His hand was large compared to mine, warm and strong. "Please, call me Sean," he said while smiling.
The sound of his voice melted my insides. It was deep and rough, like crushed velvet. There was something soothing about it too. "Okay, Sean." I smiled nervously. "I'm afraid our accompanist, Antonia, is running late." I sighed with mild aggravation. "It's a bad habit of hers."
"Don't worry about it," Sean said.
I nodded and smiled, grateful for his understanding and patience.
"Well then," Steve clapped his hands, "I'm going to leave you two alone. Shelly at the front desk can page me if you need me."
"Thank you," I said to Steve's retreating back.
"Do you need to warm up?" Sean asked.
"I already did."
He eyed me with disbelief, a faint smile pulling at his lips. "You did?"
"Yes, I sing in my car all the time." I laughed. "I'd much rather listen to myself than the crap that's on the radio nowadays."
Sean laughed and my heart soared. It was one of the best sounds I'd heard today. "Well, okay then."
I pulled up a chair and sat beside him. "I heard you playing when I arrived. It was absolutely breathtaking. You're very talented."
"I can say the same about you."
"Excuse me?"
"Last week when you were here singing," he paused and shook his head, "this is going to sound crazy, but I felt like you were singing just for me."
I looked away and blushed. I'd felt the same way that day, as if I were giving him a private concert. Still, I wasn't used to getting compliments from men and I wasn't sure how to handle it. So I remained silent.
Sean reached over and put his hand on mine, sending a jolt of something unfamiliar through my body. I looked back at him. He smiled. "You have a beautiful voice, Nicole."
"Thank you." I cleared my throat. "Where did you study?"
"I didn't," he said and then quickly added, "not professionally anyway. I took private lessons as a child, and then joined the band in high school." He stopped short as if he wanted to say more, but didn't want to say anything else. "What about you? With a voice like that you must've had training."
I smiled. "It's the typical story. I started singing in the church choir; my mom thought I was the most talented child on the planet so she hired me a voice coach." I shrugged, suddenly feeling very comfortable talking about myself. "Eventually, I made it to Julliard."
"Wow. Julliard? That's great, Nicole."
"Thanks. Well, we should probably get started," I said, wanting to take the focus off of me for a while.
"Sure." Sean smiled and brought his violin into place. He began to play.
I was fascinated by how talented he was. I knew I was blushing again but didn't do anything to stop it or hide it. Just being near Sean had that effect on me. As he played and I sang, I noticed the way his gaze continually slid off the sheet music and found mine. Each time he'd do that, the notes would get louder and more forceful as if he w
ere trying to tell me something. What? I didn't know. But the music eased the awkwardness I felt being around him. It wasn't really awkwardness as much as it was nervousness. Having a boyfriend and dating had always been at the bottom of my priority list – and it still was – but meeting Sean was making me reconsider that.
The sound of clapping as we finished the piece jerked me back to reality. I looked up to see Antonia coming toward us. It was nice of her to show up and grace us with her presence, I thought with a hint of anger. I loved Antonia. She was my best friend but her ability to be punctual was non-existent.
"That was great," she said with a big smile.
"Antonia, this is Sergeant Sean McKenzie," I said. "Sean, this is Antonia, our accompanist."
"Nice to meet you, Sergeant McKenzie. I insist you call me Toni," she said, shaking his hand.
"And I insist you call me Sean," he said with a soft chuckle.
God, his laugh did funny things to my insides.
"Sorry I'm late," Toni said, taking a seat at the piano.
"Oh, it's no problem. Nicole kept me company," Sean said.
I blushed again and Toni caught me. She gave me a sly smile. I could see the mischief brewing in her eyes. I gave her my best don't-even-think-about-it look, but I knew it was for naught. When Toni got an idea in her mind, it was nearly impossible to talk her out of it. I just hoped that whatever she had schemed up in the few short minutes she'd been here wouldn't embarrass me.
The session progressed without any further distractions and the three of us got along well, laughing and having a good time. When we'd finished, Sean turned to us and said, "That was a lot of fun. Thank you, ladies."
"Yes, it was fun," I said, smiling directly at Sean. I really liked looking at him.
"Agreed." Toni stood and stretched. "So Nikki, have you found a date for the symphony yet?"
Here we go, I thought with a mental groan. I knew where Toni was going with this and I had to stop her before she got to it.
Toni turned to Sean. "I bought four tickets for the symphony orchestra’s latest performance on Friday. My boyfriend and I, Nikki and her sister were supposed to go, but we found out that Nikki's sister, Jo, had to fly to some conference in Delaware?” She looked to me for confirmation.
I nodded, knowing I wasn't getting out of this no matter how hard I tried.
“So now we have one unused ticket..." Toni continued, "Unless you found a date, Nikki?"
She stared at me, knowing full well I hadn't found a date. I wished I could've burned holes through her with my eyes.
“Oh! I know!" Toni clapped her hands excitedly. "Would you like to come, Sean? They let you boys out of here occasionally, right?”
And there it was. I knew it was coming, but it still shocked me. I gave Sean an apologetic smile, hoping he knew he wasn't obligated to say yes but secretly I wished he would.
After a moment, Sean said, “Well, yes, it’s not like we're prisoners here or anything. Are you…?"
“Great! It’s a date then," Toni cut him off, "The symphony starts at seven. We'll pick you up here at five for dinner. Don’t worry it'll be my treat! It's the least I can do to thank you for your service.” Toni grinned at the two of us.
I wonder if Sean was as stunned as I was.
"C'mon, Nikki." Toni looped her arm through mine and dragged me toward the door. "It was nice meeting you, Sean," she called over her shoulder.
Before we reached the door, I yanked out of Toni's grip and turned back toward Sean. I heard her whisper something and then she skipped out the door. I shook my head with bewilderment. What the heck had just happened? "So, I guess I'll see you Friday then," I said, looking into his warm, brown eyes. I could get used to looking into those eyes. My heart raced as I waited for his response. My self-doubt was getting the best of me. What if, now that Toni was gone, Sean decided not to go?
"Wild horses couldn't keep me away," he replied with a smile.
I smiled.
CHAPTER 4
Nicole Baker
It was Thursday night, which meant Toni and I were having our weekly girl's night. Sure, we saw each other pretty much every day, but Thursdays were reserved for dinner, shopping, sometimes a movie, and gossip. We did not talk about music or work on Thursday nights. Instead, we talked about guys. Well, technically, Toni talked about guys and I just listened. She was much more experienced in that area than I was. I'd only had four boyfriends in my entire twenty-two years. And as far as I was concerned, I didn't care if that ever changed. Love, relationships, men, sex – they were all just complications I didn't need. I had my friends, my cat, and my music. I was happy with my life.
"We should buy new dresses for our double date tomorrow night," Toni said, taking a large bite of her extra cheesy pizza.
"I still can't believe you did that." I shook my head.
Toni smiled. "Well, someone had to. You wouldn't have asked him out, and I don't think he would've asked you either."
"Did you ever think that maybe there's a reason for that?" I took a long sip of my soda.
"Yeah, the reason is you're both too shy. I solved that problem. You really should be thanking me."
It was impossible to be angry or irritated with her when she acted like that. I wished I could be more like her – more confident, self-assured, and less neurotic. God, I obsess and worry over everything. Toni doesn't. She just lets things roll off her back.
"Honestly, Nikki, you can't tell me you don't like him. I saw how you were looking at him."
I blushed. "Of course I like him. He's funny and smart and cute."
"Cute?" Toni raised an eyebrow. "Girl, my little brother is cute. Sean is just plain sexy. He's a war hero for crying out loud." She shook her head. "You are so clueless sometimes."
Okay, so maybe Toni was right. But that still didn't change my feelings about the situation. "Exactly! So, why would he be interested in someone like me?"
"Oh, he's interested, trust me."
I laughed. "How can you possibly know that?"
"I saw the way he was looking at you, Nikki. He's into you."
I chose to drop the subject because I knew if I didn't, she wouldn't. But still, the stuff she said stuck in my mind. Had Sean really been looking at me like she said? Did that mean he liked me? I was conflicted. Part of me really wanted him to like me, to be interested in dating me, but another part of me didn't want him to like me in that way. If he did, I knew I'd have to make a decision about dating him. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt his feelings by turning him down. Oh well, I guess I'd see how tomorrow night went and take it from there.
"We should go to that new dress shop, Farrah's Formal Wear. I bet we could find some great dresses in there."
"Yeah, sure," I said, finishing my pizza and tossing the uneaten crust on the plate.
"You should get something purple. It'll really make your eyes pop."
That was another thing about Toni – she was a fashionista. "I like purple," I agreed easily. It was one of my favorite colors after all. I waited for Toni to finish her pizza, which she practically inhaled. Then we made our way through the mall. "I was considering getting some auburn highlights in my hair. What do you think?"
"Uh-uh." Toni shook her head and studied my hair for a moment. "You've got lots of great color. It's natural. Just leave it be."
I nodded. Before our quintet had started getting paid performances, Toni had worked in a prestigious salon on the other side of town. She knew what she was talking about, so I usually listened to her advice. "What color are you thinking of wearing?"
"Green," she smiled.
I laughed, "I should've known."
Toni always wore green when she had the chance. It was a good color for her.
"So what was up with Sarah at practice yesterday?"
"No work talk, remember?" I tsked and waved my finger at her.
She laughed and looped her arm through mine. "Are you going to let him kiss you?"
I rolled my eyes. I kne
w she'd given up too easily. "I'm sure he's not going to want to kiss me."
"Well, what if he does?"
"I don't know," I shrugged," I guess I'd let him. It would be rude not too."
Toni flung her head back and laughed raucously. "Oh sweetie, you've got so much to learn. You can't let just any ole’ guy kiss you simply because you think it's rude not to."
"This is why I don't date. It's too damn complicated."
"And that's why you're so lucky to have me," she smiled and patted my arm, “You're my best friend, Nikki. I’m not going to let you grow up to be a lonely old cat lady."
That's when I knew my fate was sealed. Toni wasn't going to give up until she'd successfully played matchmaker. At least she had good taste. Sean was definitely a catch and I did like him. I liked him a lot and that terrified me.
*****
When I got home later that night, I was surprised to find a voicemail on my cell phone. I hadn't even heard it ring while I'd been shopping with Toni. I called and listened to the message.
"Uh, hi, Miss Baker, uh, I mean, Nicole," There was a heavy sigh, "This is Sean, from the VA center. I got your number from Steve Boyd. I hope you don't mind. Anyway, would you call me? Ask for room two seventeen. Thanks. Bye."
My heart thundered in my ears. The sound of his voice made me smile; yet, I couldn't help but fear that maybe he'd called to cancel our date tomorrow night. I frowned. Was date the right word? If he'd wanted to back out, why hadn't he just said that on his message? Probably because he was too much of a gentleman.
I glanced at the clock. It was still early enough to call. With a trembling hand, I dialed the number for the VA Center, asked for room two seventeen, and waited for him to answer. The pizza I'd eaten earlier threatened to make another appearance. This was so stupid. Honestly, what was I going to say to him? I almost hung up, but then I heard his voice.
"Hello?"
My entire body relaxed and I smiled, "Hi, Sean, it's Nicole. I got your message."
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