by Tarkin, Mika
With his arms held out away from his body, he turned slowly to face his unexpected companion.
Although a haze still hung over the river and they were far apart and they had both changed considerably since the last time they’d crossed paths, the recognition was mutually instantaneous.
“Marko…”
“Naeesha.”
Chapter Nine
Marko shifted into a small bird form and sailed across the river, landing a respectful distance away from Naeesha on the riverbank.
“What are you doing out here?” she asked.
“Looking for something,” he said. “What about you?”
“Looking for you.”
Silence hung between them like the morning fog.
“What are you looking for?”
“A camp. For my people.”
So it was true, Naeesha thought. He’d gone native. She tried, and failed, to give him an inconspicuous once over. The last three years had changed him. There were the superficial things like the new tattoos, the clothes, the way that his tall frame had become even leaner. His nose was still straight. She wondered when that was due to change.
Then there were the more profound changes. The way that he carried himself. He used to wear bravado like a shield to hide his shyness. Both were gone now. He blended into the space around him, looking so much a part of it that she feared he might disappear if she looked away for a second. And his eyes, like the surface of a lake. Still, deep, and reflecting the world with perfect clarity.
“Your people?” she asked, playing dumb.
“A small group of Hala, fleeing from the Wild.”
She’d always heard Halians talking about the Wild. She’d never understood what it was they were talking about. Maybe she’d be able to get some answers now.
“How many?”
“Two thousand, depending on how kindly the road treats us.”
“When’d you start talking like them?”
Halians were always talking in riddles, like there was something to be gained by nobody understanding what you were talking about.
“When I started thinking like them,” Marko replied.
Something about him was unnerving. She could still see the man that she’d known, but there was something between them. Like a sheet draped over him and painted like a crude approximation of her Marko.
Her mind raced as she tried to figure out what to do next. She needed time to figure out what was wrong, and how she could fix it. Finding him alone like this was a lucky break. She had a lot of time to get started. Maybe she could even convince him to come back with her.
“So how did you wind up with the Hala?”
“You don’t know?”
“How would I? We haven’t talked in three years.”
“Because of you, Naeesha.”
“I don’t follow.”
“I joined the Hala because of you.”
Naeesha froze. How was that possible? Part of the brainwashing maybe.
“Explain.”
“The last time I saw you. You said you were done fighting. Said that it was someone else’s turn to fight.”
Her head was still spinning. She was having a hard time just making out Marko’s words, much less understanding what he had to say.
“I still don’t get it.”
“What if everyone stopped fighting? What if every single person on both sides put down their guns?”
“And how does joining up with those red skinned bastards help anything?”
“The Hala aren’t the problem,” Marko said. “They’re just like you. Just like all the Alderoccans. They - we - want peace.”
“Have you lost your damn mind? Did you forget every firefight? Every bombing? Fuck Marko, how many times did you get shot? Ten? Twenty? Do you even know?”
Marko remained serene. It was unnerving, seeing those eyes staring back, not a ripple in them.
“Twenty-two,” he said. “And how many of them did I shoot? I’m still here. How many of them can’t say the same?”
“Not enough of them, apparently. If they want peace so much, why do they keep fighting?”
“Have you ever seen a Halian with a gun who wasn’t defending themselves?”
“They came to our world.”
“Did you forget how the Watchers came to Alderoc?”
She didn’t know what to say to that. It was true. The Watcher had come here from Earth.
“So we’re just supposed to lay down our guns and… and then what?”
“We need food, water, and shelter,” Marko said, completely seriously.
Naeesha shook her head and started pacing.
“You really have lost your damn mind,” she said.
“What makes you think so?”
“The Hala are monsters. How many Alderoccans have they killed? And you know they started it. You were there. They killed ten people before they even said hello.”
“That,” Marko said, “was not the Hala. That was the Wild.”
“Does the “Wild” happen to have red skin and three eyes?”
“The Wild is not any one Hala. The Wild is the suffering of all Hala.”
“Which is to say that it’s an excuse to kill anybody they don’t like.”
“You do not understand.”
No. She didn’t. She didn’t understand how Marko, one of the smartest people she knew, could have believed such a ludicrous idea.
“Why don’t you come back with me and get your head straight? I miss you. I’m worried about you.”
Marko didn’t give her offer a moment of consideration.
“No. I know how things in the capital work. I know the humans. I know the Watcher. I choose to stay with the Hala.”
Naeesha took a deep breath. If she was smart, she would have turned around and walked away. Marko was… well Marko was dead and something else had taken his place. The man that she knew would have never have talked like this. Would never have tolerated the Hala, much less joined up with them. The man in front of her now was a stranger.
But Naeesha wasn’t nearly as smart as she was loyal. And her friend - a man she loved - was still in there somewhere. She wasn’t going to let anybody take him away. If he wasn’t going to come with her, then she’d just have to go with him until she could figure something out.
“You know what?” she said. “You’re right. I should meet your people before I make up my mind. If you think they’re alright, you must have a good reason.”
“You’re serious?” Marko asked.
“I trust you,” she lied.
“Well we can’t meet them until we’ve found a campsite.”
“What are you looking for?”
“A meadow. Or another place that’s flat and open and has room for two thousand.”
Naeesha thought back to the place that she’d camped. There were some trees here or there, but it was definitely big enough to stick a couple thousand barbarians. She told him about it, and after she answered a few questions, Marko seemed pleased.
It wasn’t much of a plan, she had to admit, but she was working with what she had, and that wasn’t much. Marko seemed to be pleased with her decision. He was smiling. Grinning ear to ear, actually. For a minute, she saw a flash of the part of him that she still recognized, and she smiled back.
“It’s a little more than a day’s walk back to our settlement,” he said. “Want to get started?”
“Sure,” Naeesha said. “Lead the way.”
Chapter Ten
As happy as Marko was to see his old friend, he couldn’t help but think about her timing. Just two weeks before, another Alderoccan had come through, looking for him. It was the first time in three years that he’d seen someone outside of the Hala clans, and the fact that the stranger was looking for him specifically gave him a great deal of concern. Flash forward to today, and he just so happened to run into Naeesha walking along the river on her way to find him?
Something smelled funny. He didn’t know who would be l
ooking for him, or why, but he didn’t like the idea. It had occurred to him that his status as a Watcher living with the Hala would make him unpopular with some people back in the capital, but he figured that as long as he was out here minding his own business, nobody would come looking to bother him.
And yet…
There was a lot that Naeesha wasn’t telling him. Twenty-five years, and she thought she could keep secrets from him? She was never a good liar. The woman was too honest for her own good.
He could tell when she was being evasive, and he didn’t think it was a good idea to keep pushing her.
The two of them talked little as they started the arduous climb into the mountains. He would have been happy to, but Naeesha was terribly out of shape. She hadn’t been taking good care of herself, and it made him sad to see her looking so sick and weak. The last time he’d seen her, she was so strong and vivacious that she seemed about a foot taller than she really was. Her personality was best described as “forceful”.
But now, her warm mahogany skin was ashen, almost lifeless. Her brilliant brown eyes were dull and sunken. She still looked younger than she had any right to, but it was obvious that the last few years had weighed heavily on her. He watched as she struggled up the switch backs, her once strong shoulders heaving with every raspy breath.
He sat down on a flat-topped rock to give her a chance to take a break.
“We keep moving,” she wheezed.
“Why don’t you rest for a moment, the air is thin, you need to acclimate.”
“I’m fine,” she said, still lying poorly.
“Well I need a break,” he said. “I didn’t have breakfast.”
Truthfully, he’d eaten more than his fill, thinking he wouldn’t break until the suns went down and he set up camp. But Naeesha’s pride was always delicate, and he didn’t want to risk their recovering relationship by wounding it unnecessarily.
She turned around and trudged back to the rock, sitting beside him. She reeked of liquor.
He looked her over again, with that clue in mind. The sweating, the irritability, the shaky hands, it made sense now. His heart fell heavy to realize just how bad his friend had been.
“You should try some of this,” he said, breaking off a corner of the hardtack bread that he unpacked from his bag.
“Hala food? No thanks.”
She reached into her bag and pulled out one of the dehydrated nutrient bricks that the military issued. Even the Watcher soldiers frequently chose hunger over eating them. He wished that she could learn to see past her hatred.
He tried putting himself in her shoes. It was hard, not knowing the path that she’d taken since they parted ways. But he could remember a little of how he’d felt before. The blinding rage. The ignorance. How had he seen past it? How could he help her?
It was funny. He didn’t remember changing. It had just sort of happened. Gradually, but completely. He remembered the hate, but it was a distant, faded memory. How could he have been so angry?
It would be better, he thought, once she saw all of the things that there were to love. He wished she would start with the food. No one on all of Alderoc cooked like the Hala do.
“Alright,” Naeesha said. “Let’s get a move on.”
Marko stowed the rest of his lunch, brushed off his hands, and climbed to his feet. She hadn’t even caught her breath yet. Why was she in such a hurry? He shouldered his pack and followed her up the mountain, wondering when she’d become so stubborn.
Well, she’d always been stubborn, but not like this. He’d always been able to appeal to her better judgement. Always been able to keep this side of her in line. She wasn’t listening now. It felt like she wasn’t really listening to him about anything.
It was another four long hours to the top of the mountain. It was hard even for Marko, and he was in the best shape of his life. He’d tried to stop for a break every half hour or so, but Naeesha had only stopped with him twice. He could see her suffering, but she refused to take care of herself.
All he could do was to keep following her and hope that she didn’t hurt herself.
They crested the summit through the narrow pass that he’d found the night before. The way down wasn’t as steep, but the footing was far worse. It would be more difficult to descend than it had been to climb up. He was starting to really worry about Naeesha now. She was moving fast and reckless, and he saw her slipping and stumbling as she stepped over the shattered boulders that lined the descent.
After almost an hour of watching her go from one near fall to another, he was finally fed up with her carelessness. He shifted into his dragon, grabbed her by the shoulders, and lifted into the cool air.
Naeesha was not happy about it. She kicked and flailed and screamed some fairly filthy things at him, but he didn’t care. She was acting like a child, he was going to treat he like one. If she wasn’t going to take care of herself, then he would.
After a few minutes of flying, Naeesha gave up on trying to wrench herself free from his talons. The camp wouldn’t be far by air, and he had to admit that he was pleased to have an excuse to fly rather than walk.
He wouldn’t go the whole way. The Halians looked down upon shifting, and he reserved it only for emergencies. In his mind, this counted, but he wasn’t so sure that the others would see it his way.
When he saw the smoke from the camps’ fires rising into the air, he glided down to the ground, landing with a mighty gust of his wings and setting Naeesha on her feet.
He shifted back to his natural form just in time to duck a punch.
“I can’t believe you,” Naeesha shouted. “You selfish asshole!”
“You were going to get yourself hurt,” Marko said, dodging another wild haymaker.
“It’s not your job to take care of me. You don’t get to touch me unless I say you can. I can’t believe you did that.”
“And I don’t need you coming to save me from ‘the savages’,” Marko replied.
Naeesha turned away, her fists still clenched in rage. She remained silent, just fuming and fidgeting instead.
“Come and meet them. Our camp is just a couple miles ahead.”
She turned back to him, obviously still angry, but less violently so. He took a step towards her and reached out a comforting hand for her shoulder.
He didn’t see her throw the jab until her fist connected with his nose.
“I told you, don’t touch me.”
Chapter Eleven
Naeesha walked fast through the woods. She still had no idea what she was doing. The more and more she stayed with Marko, the less and less she wanted to be with him. She dreaded the quiet moments when he would try and talk to her, and prefered to keep walking forward as fast as she could, as though she could get away from him.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to him, it was just that she didn’t know what to say. There was so much she wanted to say, but when she opened her mouth to try and talk, only anger came out. Anger for his leaving. For his betrayal. For blaming it on her. She was angry that he’d been with her for so long, then just disappeared overnight.
That’s what she needed to tell him, but whenever she thought about it, it just made her too mad to speak.
The punch wasn’t about picking her up - she was grateful that he spared her so much walking. It was about letting out some of her rage in the only way that she knew how.
She could see the Halian camp fading into distance through the thick tree cover. It was the first time she’d seen one up close, and it was a wildly different experience than seeing one from the air.
Up in the clouds, looking down, the camps were just a tangled mess of wood and canvas sitting on a field of mud. But that obviously wasn’t the complete picture.
From up there, you couldn’t smell the spices of their cooking, or see the many colors of their world. You couldn’t hear the lilting music that carried out from a dozen different places, and you couldn’t feel… she wasn’t sure what the feeling was, but i
t was undeniable.
“It takes some getting used to,” Marko said.
“What?”
“What you’re feeling. It’s the Halians.”
“What are they doing?”
The world was suddenly very chaotic. There were butterflies in her stomach and a knot in her throat and she felt like crying and laughing all at the same time.
“They aren’t really doing anything. The Halians project their emotions outward, it’s just how they are. Everyone around them can feel it.”
“How does anyone keep from going crazy?”
“Like I said, you get used to it. You learn how to separate the group’s’ feelings from your own and it gets easier.”
Of everything that Naeesha was feeling, it was fear more than anything. She didn’t like it. She’d never really felt fear like this before.
“What are they all so afraid of?”
“The Wild. The Alderoccans. Their futures.”
“You keep talking about the Wild. What is it?”
“Sit down,” Marko said. “I don’t want to talk about it around the Halians. They’re… sensitive.”
He leaned against a tree, and Naeesha sat on a fallen tree across from him.
“When the Halians are exposed to strong feelings like terror or rage or horror, the feelings can overwhelm them. They create a feedback cycle, and grow stronger and stronger until they take over completely. That is the Wild.”
“I don’t understand.”
Marko sighed and took a deep breath.
“Okay. Let’s say something happens and it makes you angry.”
“Alright.”
“Well I feel your anger, and it makes me angry. And then you feel my anger and it adds to your own, and you become even angrier.”
“I think I see where this is going.”
“The Halians are strong, but these people have been through so much that some of them are starting to break. Once one of them loses control, it can spiral out of control in just seconds. They would be okay, but every day there’s more and more pressure on them. I don’t know how long they can hold together.”