by Lee Thomas, Gary McMahon, S. G. Browne, Michael Marshall Smith
Oh, and the hacker man I'd hired to hide my money hid it very well, it turns out. He hid it from me too. He thieved it from me. I know because one day when I could think pretty well I went online and found that there were no accounts there under any of my names, none at all, not even little ones. And thus, no money either.
I'm back right where I started, but even further behind. So far back, it's as if I'd never even been born.
* * * * *
I think Rebecca would have liked me, though.
I'm not trying to find the town they stayed because I think Williams or whatever his name really is will be there. I'm going for other reasons, and looking for something different. Why I want to find it I don't really know, because it's too late. For her, for me. I just don't seem to be capable of doing anything else.
Maybe somewhere in the world is Mr. Williams and his new lady wife friend, and they're having fun and playing in the sand somewhere by big water. I hope so, even though he has been very bad to me, and not just to me. Of course it's a maybe that the memory he gave to me wasn't even his in the first place, but some other one did the same to him as he did to me. And maybe back and then back again until they'll never find who went on their holidays with Rebecca. Maybe that is what is. I don't know, but I don't think so. I think it is Mr. Williams who did it. And of course finally in the end I realized there was no new woman, and never had been. He just had this history, this guilt he'd done in his life, and he wanted rid of it. He gave it to me.
Permanently.
Very slowly the rest of it moves into position. At the end of the memory everything is dark and loud and angry, and what takes place happens round a corner and out of sight, in the night time. He was drunk, and things got out of hand.
Her face was so scared.
And then it is all mashed up.
There's blood everywhere and he buried her where people would never see her again. But if anyone can, it is me. I am him, now – the part that did that thing, at least. I was there. Maybe I can find her and say sorry for what I did. She loved me, even if it wasn't really me.
And now I love her. I'll find her. I must.
Rebecca is all that's left of me.
«-ô-»
DAVE 2.0b2
By Michael Marshall Smith
A man.
Customer Reviews for current version:
@MELTYFACE:
Woot! A new version of Dave! Going to install now!! LOL!!!
@CAPTAINSMOO:
Glad to see an upgrade at last, but I don't really like the new icon or interface changes. Dave seems to have put on weight, and has more lines around the eyes.
@woodenbrane:
Dave sucks! There are lot's beter people around than him. Rip off!
@LUKILUKI:
I like some of the new habits, and actually think the few grey hairs are an improvement. I would have liked to see a little more wiseness (I have submitted a NUMBER of requests for this via the forums), but overall, a decent upgrade.
@NUTTYBOY:
THIS IS BLOODY RUBBISH. IT DOESNT WORK AT ALL AND CRASHES EVERYTHING. THE DEVELOPER IS AN ARSHOLE FUCK TROLL.
@developer:
Hey - I'm Dave's developer. Thanks for the comments... It would help a LOT if everyone would submit proper bug reports (with log files), though, instead of just saying Dave doesn't work. For example: "Has tendency to get dogmatic after four beers [16/10/2009]". Cheers!
@MACMAN:
I like Dave, and will continue to support his development, although like some other long-term users I have been disappointed by his tendency in recent updates to lack the verve and optimism of previous versions.
REPLY from DEVELOPER: The optimism plug-in proved hard to maintain due to underlying features in Dave's Reality, and has been dropped. I'm working on implementing some new Defeated Resignation options for the next beta.
@Dave'sWife:
Not the upgrade I was hoping for after all this time. The audio monitoring and response functions still don't work as advertised. It's like he doesn't understand a word I say.
REPLY from DEVELOPER: Increased Empathy is on the request list, and I'm working on it. For the time being, please use workarounds like not talking to him when he's tired.
@CoMaTiZe:
This should be FREE! Check out the open source John 0.4.6 instead. Can't stand up or speak or breathe dependably, but its FREE!!!
@fughole:
I tried to use Dave to do my accounts and it got everything wrong. I want my hard-earned cash back.
REPLY from DEVELOPER: Dave has never understood accounts, and never will.
@YRFACEACHES:
LYNDSEY LOHAN FUX NUDE WITH AN OKAPI!!! CLICK HERE!!!!!!
@Dave'sWife:
Dreadful evening. Just dreadful [log attached]
REPLY from DEVELOPER: Yes, I'm aware there are some compatibility issues with Dave 2.0 and YourFriends 3.1. Please try to use them at different times while I work on a patch.
@LowestCommonDenominator:
Does exactly what it says on the tin!!!
@noIDRroid:
Does this upgrade have Telepathy powers?
REPLY from DEVELOPER: No.
@HAPPLYSLAPPLY:
I have absolutely nothing better to do with my time, and so have just read every comment ever made about this software. I don't specifically have anything to add. Christ I'm bored.
@Seriouslytho:
I just tried to run the exercise mode in Dave 2.0b2 and it crashed out after 20 minutes. FIX THIS, YOU BASTARD.
REPLY from DEVELOPER: Try using the "Walk" setting rather than "Run".
@Dave'sWife:
I'm sorry but this just isn't good enough. I've been a long-term supporter of Dave, and have paid the upgrade fee every time, but I'm just not sure I see evidence of meaningful development. Dave 2.0b2 is prey to increasing feature-itis (ability to make basic dinners for the children, occasionally remembering to pick his trousers off the bedroom floor, retention of trivia gleaned from the History Channel) but the basic flaws (lack of flair, decreasing libido, being generally annoying) remain - and are getting worse, if anything. Unless these are fixed in the next beta I'm tempted to try Co-Worker 1.0.
REPLY from DEVELOPER: Please be patient - and see the changelog on the website for under-the-hood improvements that should bear fruit soon. Also, be aware that Co-Worker 1.0 has a virus.
@WESTLOVE555:
Seems to sigh a lot more than he used to. Is this deliberate?
@twazzyPam:
Wat??? Dave is a man? It shuld say so heer. I pade good money for this and wanted a Lady. Money back!!!
REPLY from DEVELOPER: It *does* say so here, you muppet.
@fughole:
I have consulted with someone I met on FaceBook, who says he is a great lawyer, and he says Dave is not fit for purpose, specifically he can't do my accounts for me like I want. Therefore I am suing you. To avoid this send me all your money now.
REPLY from DEVELOPER: I don't *have* any money. Dave 2.0 is shareware, relying upon the honestly and decency of users. You do the math.
@PeterSmith:
I've been using Dave since the early days back at college, and generally found him a good fit for my workflow and socialising goals. Well, times have changed, and after test-driving Bob 1.4 for a couple of evenings, I think I'm going to switch. I will keep Dave on my hard drive and XmasCardList, but won't ever use him again.
@CLIVEFISHER: Me to!!
@Dave'sWife:
Okay, fair enough, Co-Worker 1.0 wasn't the solution (though I've had worse snogs). But I'm not getting any younger, am I, and I'm tired of living with a man with no drive, who never seems truly happy, and who never, ev
er touches me any more. I'm downloading a trial version of Friend of a Friend right now.
@Dave'sWife:
Aha. Now THAT'S what I'm talking about, right there. Oh yeah.
@braindeadplankton: Earn $300 from home!! Click HERE!!!!!!!
@developer:
It is with great regret that I am ceasing development on Dave. I'm simply not gaining enough satisfaction to justify the amounts of time required, and to be honest I think there are problems in the underlying code which will never be resolved. I'd like to thank everyone for their input. Dave should continue to function for some time, but will eventually succumb to an ever-increasing sense of pointlessness and doubt, before eventually crashing forever. No flowers, please.
«-ô-»
About the Editors
Bill Breedlove is the editor of the anthologies Candy in the Dumpster, Waiting for October, Like a Chinese Tattoo, Mighty Unclean and When the Night Comes Down. A collection of his short fiction will be published in 2011 by Bad Moon Books.
In addition to his monthly column for The Black Glove, Bill's work has also appeared in publications such as Chicago Tribune, InSider, The Fortune News, Restaurants & Institutions, Bluefood.cc, Encyclopedia of Actuarial Science and Playboy Online. His stories can also be found in the books Tales of Forbidden Passion, Strange Creatures, Tails from the Pet Shop, Book of Dead Things, Cthulhu and the Coeds and Blood and Donuts.
He lives in Chicago with his wife, dog and pigeon. His website is www.curiousstories.com.
John Everson is the Bram Stoker Award-winning author of the novels Covenant, Sacrifice, The 13th, Siren and the forthcoming The Pumpkin Man, all from Leisure Books. His short fiction has been collected in the books Creeptych, Deadly Nightlusts, Needles & Sins, Vigilantes of Love and Cage of Bones & Other Deadly Obsessions. Over the past 20 years, his short stories have appeared in more than 75 magazines and anthologies and many have also been translated into Polish and French.
He has served as editor of the anthologies Sins of the Sirens, In Delirium II, and co-editor of Spooks! He lives in Naperville, IL with his wife, son and petulant cockatoo and cockatiel.
For information on his fiction, art and music, visit www.johneverson.com.
OTHER TITLES
FROM DARK ARTS BOOKS
Candy in the Dumpster
Waiting for October
Sins of the Sirens
Like A Chinese Tattoo
Mighty Unclean
When the Night Comes Down
www.darkartsbooks.com