by Kieran Song
“Yes,” she said. “I do recall, now that you mention it. I’m glad you didn’t.”
“I’ve killed enough people already,” he said, shaking his head. He scowled as he stared at his open hands.
Allegra sensed a sorrow that took hold of him and she put down her needle. From behind, she wrapped her arms around his neck, draping herself across his back like a cloak.
She held onto him for a while, listening to the sounds of his resonant breathing. They were two beacons of light, alive and illuminating the surrounding darkness that threatened to envelope them.
Chapter Twenty-Two.
It was a little past midnight. Dog knew this because of the ghosts. They always came at the start of a new day.
The boy stood in front of him, no longer in his spiked armour.
“I saved you,” Dog whispered. The boy looked at him with those sad almond shaped eyes and Dog felt sick.
“Why are you here?” Dog asked, almost in a whisper. The boy made no reply, instead he stood there bewildered. He probably didn’t even know he was dead yet.
“Why are you here?!” Dog screamed. “I saved you!”
And then he saw a ghostly hand reach out to the boy, the same weary hands that taught Dog how to survive in this place.
“Garret,” Dog whispered. The old man smiled at Dog and the look on his tired face told him everything.
Sorry, I tried. In the end, I failed.
“It’s not your fault old man,” Dog said as he buried his hands in his face. Dog couldn’t remember the last time he cried. It was something he just never did—or even knew he could do—until now. “I thought I could save him. I ended up getting you both killed.”
You did good kid. You did what you could.
“It wasn’t enough,” Dog said. He had lost all hope. “Tell me how I can escape from here? I promised Allegra we would leave this place together but I don’t even think it’s possible.”
Underneath the bench press. You’ll know what to do with it.
And then, Dog was alone again and for once, he wished that the ghosts had stayed.
Chapter Twenty-Three.
Allegra must have rattled on the door for about five minutes, with a tray balanced on one hand, before Dog finally opened it. At first he tried to act like everything was fine, but the puffiness of his eyes betrayed him.
“You’ve been crying,” Allegra said.
“No.”
“You’re a terrible liar,” Allegra said. “What happened?”
Dog shook his head.
“You should be happy. You saved that boy. You fought Ryker and won,” Allegra said.
“I didn’t win,” Dog replied. “Ryker killed the boy, and Garret. They’re both dead.”
Allegra’s heart fell. “What?” she set the tray down on the table. “How do you know for sure?”
“I saw them,” Dog said.
“How?”
Dog shook his head. “Forget it.”
“Please, tell me. How do you know they’re dead?”
Dog sat back down on his bed and stared blankly at the picture on his wall. Allegra took a seat next to him and took his rough hands into hers. Her touch was all it took to tear down Dog’s emotional walls and he sat there and sobbed.
Allegra was patient and rubbed his back while he grieved. Dog had comforted her when she needed him, and now Allegra would do the same.
Only when the last of his tears were gone did he speak again.
“I see their ghosts,” Dog said as he drew his hands away from Allegra and clenched them into fists. He brought them to his face. “Everyone that I kill, their ghosts come to see me.”
Allegra took his hands and kissed the top of his knuckles gently. They were rough and scarred but she didn’t mind.
“It sounds stupid, doesn’t it,” Dog said.
“No,” Allegra replied. “I believe there are ghosts here as well. With so many deaths in this place, how can there not be?”
“Sometimes I wonder if I imagine all these things. Maybe I’m just going crazy,” Dog said. “It feels like I’m dreaming, but I know I’m awake.”
“I see things as well,” Allegra said.
“What do you see?”
“Most of the time, I see Death,” she replied. “Hidden in the shadows or even in the eyes of the boys sent to die, I see Death watching me. At first I was afraid of him, but now, I almost welcome his presence. He’s an anesthetic to everyone who’s suffering in this place.”
“How do you know it’s Death?”
“I have this recurring dream,” she explained. “In it, my brother is dead. I always try to stop it from happening, but every time, I fail. It’s like these invisible hands are holding me back from helping him. I see him lying on the ground, bleeding everywhere. Finally, he gives up on life and he leaves me.
“It’s only then that those invisible hands release me and I’m allowed to go to him. I try to hold him, but someone is pulling my brother’s body away from me. It’s Death.
“He looks like any other man to me…normal, forgettable…except for his eyes. They are burning orange. He talks to me with those eyes and he tells me to let my brother go. He’ll take him somewhere safe.
“At first I refuse and I hold onto my brother while I scream, but Death reassures me that my brother will be happy. I ask him to take me too so I can be with him, but Death tells me ‘no.’ My time of suffering is not done yet, but he’ll come back for me one day. And then I wake up.”
Dog frowned. “Do you want to die?”
“I don’t know,” she said.
“I see.”
“I fear Ryker more than I fear Death. At least Death won’t try to rape me.”
“Have you really given up on life?” Dog asked. “I promised you that we will leave this place together, and I meant it.”
Allegra shook her head. “Don’t promise things like that. It just gets my hopes up.”
“I’ll find a way to kill Ryker.”
Allegra took her eyes off Dog and stared at the drawing on the wall. Oddly, she too found it comforting.
“Why do you like the smiling moon so much?” she asked. Dog shrugged.
“It brings me back to a time in my life when I was happy. Someone important to me once wore a shirt with that exact picture on it. It reminds me of her.”
“Were you in love?” Allegra asked.
“I loved someone. Is that the same as being in love?” Dog asked.
“No, I don’t think so,” Allegra sighed and continued to gaze at the picture. “Nostalgia,” she finally said.
“Sorry?”
“That’s what you’re feeling. Nostalgia,” she repeated. “It’s when you re-live the magic from the past and for that brief moment, no matter how terrible your life is, you’re taken back to that moment in time when everything was alright; when everything was so innocent and perfect.”
“I didn’t know there was a name for it,” Dog said. “I guess I don’t know a lot of things.”
Allegra stood up and smiled. She wrapped her arms delicately around Dog’s head and drew him to her belly and held him.
“You have a good heart,” Allegra said. “That’s all you need to know.”
She felt his warmth against her body and it felt nice. He gave her the strength and comfort that she was so sorely missing.
He loved her. Allegra could see it in his eyes. She didn’t know herself how she felt about Dog. She needed him though and wanted to be in his presence so that he could keep her safe. Allegra longed for someone’s touch, and for now, Dog could give that to her. But she didn’t love him; not yet anyway.
When she was younger, Allegra had a conversation with her mother which she would always remember.
“Mom, how do you know you love Dad?” she had asked. Her mother picked Allegra up and bounced her on a knee.
“Well baby, I know I love your father because every second I’m with him, I feel like I’m flying,” she had said. “Just like how I feel when I’
m with you, my little bird.”
When they were together, she felt happy, but she certainly didn’t feel like flying. No, Allegra felt buried in the underground prison that they all lived in, and Dog was there with her.
In the sixth grade, she thought she loved a boy once. He was the fastest boy in school…that was until Allegra had managed to chase him down to the playground. They had sat outside by the swing sets and he agreed to let her hold his hand and she remembered that feeling in her stomach, the one that made you giggle, blush and laugh. She didn’t feel that with Dog either. I don’t love him, Allegra knew. But perhaps in time I will.
Allegra wondered if it was the pits that made her cold to love, but she did want it. In fact she wanted it desperately. At least that would give her some purpose in life. But death was everywhere, and for now, a warm physical touch was all she needed. Not love.
How could she possibly love anyone in this hopeless place?
*
For the past two days, all Allegra could think about was Dog and his love for her. She found it difficult to give her full attention to tasks, including operating on the wounded boy on the table. Luckily Maria was there today to carry most of the work load.
“He’ll live,” Maria said, relieved. She tossed the bloody rag into the trash. “Live to fight another day, the saying sounds so ironic now doesn’t it?”
“You did a good job in bringing down his fever,” Allegra said as she wrapped the boys shoulder in heavy white bandages. “You’re learning a lot.”
“Honey, if you weren’t here this boy would have died a hundred times over,” Maria smiled. “Don’t give me credit for your work.”
“I’m just glad Ryker agreed to give me some help,” Allegra said.
“I’d rather do this than be another one of his nighttime whores,” Maria said. “Luckily I’m getting called upon less. Maybe my looks are fading.”
“You’re still beautiful Maria.”
“Lies,” Maria said. “But what does it matter anyway. Even if I did get out of here alive, no one would want me. I’m damaged goods.”
“If you ever get out of here, you owe it to yourself to start with a clean slate.”
“Not that easy honey,” Maria said. “You know how many people violated me here? I remember all their faces: Ryker, the biker gangs, the Russians, the gangbangers, and the project boys. They’ve all had a piece of me and I can never forget it. If I ever fall in love with someone again, can they understand that I just don’t want to be touched anymore?”
Allegra shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Quit apologizing. It seems like the people that apologize the most in this place are the ones that don’t need to,” Maria said. “Anyway, I’ve already accepted this fact. I’m used goods.”
“You ever dream of what you’re going to do when you leave this place?” Allegra asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “That’s an easy one. I thought about it every single day. I’m going to sing jazz.”
“I didn’t know you could sing,” Allegra said.
“I never do it here. I found the best way to avoid trouble from the guards is to keep yourself quiet,” she said. “When I was a kid, my dad used to play his records every night. Those voices, so soulful, and so full of passion. I’m done with men. I’m going to start a love affair with music instead. Men hurt you too much.”
“Physically?”
“Not only,” Maria said. “Love hurts. I’ve been in love before and had my heart broken so many times. When things are going well, love is a beautiful thing. But when things go wrong and you find yourself an emotional wreck, it just plain sucks.”
“I see,” Allegra said. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before.”
“How can you?” Maria asked. “The only men you see around here are Ryker’s sleaze balls and the boys getting killed in the pits.”
Allegra nodded. She thought of Dog and the softness in his eyes when he looked at her. “Can I ask you one more thing?”
“Anything,” Maria said.
“How do you know if you love someone?” Allegra asked.
Maria cleaned the last bit of blood off her hands with the sanitizer, and turned to Allegra and said to her with an adamant truth in her voice. “If you’re asking me this question in the first place, then you don’t love him.”
Chapter Twenty-Four.
Now that Garret wasn’t there anymore, Dog felt alone in the gym. He almost lost his drive to come here at all. It was then that Dog realized this fact: as much as he used the weight room to strengthen his body, he also used it to impress Garret. He wanted the old man’s approval.
The new guard they posted at the doorway seemed more interested in his phone than Dog’s workout routine, but that suited Dog just fine. He wasn’t in a mood to speak to anyone anyway.
The gym was one of the few places in the building that had a mirror but Dog always avoided looking at it. The truth of it was this: he was afraid of the man who would look back at him.
Dog was a monster in the Arena, slaughtering everyone they tossed his way. They called him many things in the pits: a demon, an animal, a barbarian, a destroyer, the list went on and on. What terrified Dog the most was that if he looked at his own reflection, he would see those very things. He finally had something to be afraid of — himself.
Some days, he was tempted to have a glance at the mirror, but he never did. Instead, he focused on the weights and the machines to strengthen him and train the monster inside to be faster and stronger, to be a more efficient killing machine.
Garret’s absence in the gym was glaring.
“You did good kid,” Garret had said. But did he? Dog got Garret, his only friend, killed, by asking him to save the boy...and it was all for naught.
Dog wanted to scream, but he held himself together. He couldn’t risk having the guard, who was well distracted by his phone, take notice him now. He came to the gym today for one thing, and one thing only.
“I’ll leave something for you taped underneath the bench press.”
He walked over to the flat bench and sat down on it. To avoid any suspicion, he did a set of bench presses first, performing his usual routine of ten reps with two heavy cast-iron plates strung onto each side of the bar. As he set the bar back on its resting place and returned to an upright position, he glanced at the guard, who completely ignored him.
Dog reached underneath the bench and felt a fabric pouch. He ran his fingers along its surface and made note of the packing tape holding it in place in two spots, which he slowly peeled off — doing his best not to make any apparent sounds — while watching the guard closely. When the pouch was finally free, he shoved it into his old sweaty towel and rolled it up. He completed another rep on the bench, and then walked over to the guard, calm and composed.
“I’m done here,” Dog said, clutching the smelly towel firmly in his hands.
The guard nodded, his eyes still fixated on his phone. “Let’s get you back then.”
Only when he was in the solitude of his private room did Dog open up the pouch. Inside were three items: A key, a handheld GPS device, and a note. Dog read it:
A final parting gift. The first is a key to the room where they put all the dead kids in body bags. On Monday morning after every event, they bring the bags up to the surface to burn in a giant fire pit. The second is a GPS that has the co-ordinates of every mine surrounding the city. If it’s beeping red, steer clear of it.
Good luck kid, and hopefully I can see you on the outside one day. I’ve always dreamed of starting a boxing gym. We can be the second coming of Angelo Dundee and Muhammad Ali.
— Garret
Dog read the note over and over again and only when the tears began smearing the black ink on the paper did he put it away.
“Thanks,” he said aloud, in case Garret’s spirit was still lingering around. However deep down inside, Dog hoped that the old man had already moved on from this terrible place.
Chapter Twenty-F
ive.
Ryker sighed and polished off the last of the whiskey. Allegra picked up the empty cup and set it on the tray for washing later.
“You know how much money I’m making from the bets Ty?” Ryker asked as he shuffled through his papers, calculator in hand. Tiberius shook his head.
“Pennies,” Ryker spat. “Dirty copper pennies.”
“Is that any different from when I won all my matches?” Tiberius said. “I’m sure you took a hit from those bets as well.”
“I adapted,” Ryker said. “I no longer betted on your wins. Instead I started odds on how long your fights would last or how many hits you’d take before the fight ended.”
“And you can’t do the same for Dog?”
“Think about it Ty. Since his first fight he’s taken only two hits, one single blow on the shoulder and a claw to the chest. With those exceptions, the matches went under a minute. I’m getting killed on these bets here,” Ryker said.
“You still make enough money from admission and there are more than just his fights to run bets on,” Tiberius pointed out. “I still fail to see why you’re so upset.”
“You’re right. The truth of the matter is, I hate his guts. His smugness and arrogance makes me want to tear his spine out and feed it to him.”
Allegra listened from the corner, doing her best to hide her concern. Ryker was unpredictable and his mind worked on such a sadistic level. She was positive that Ryker had an endgame in place for Dog already. She needed to discover what that was.
“Dog is surviving,” Tiberius said. “You can’t fault him for it.”
“I don’t care about his wins,” Ryker spat. “He’s disrespected me twice in front of everyone. Since when does an animal undermine its master?”
“You’re working yourself up in a frenzy,” Tiberius said. “Maybe you want another drink to calm the nerves.”