Except for him, he acknowledged with a sigh. Over the past few weeks, he’d gotten dangerously close to falling for the remarkable woman who’d so unexpectedly crossed his path. But their argument had clearly ruined things between them—and turned his family against him. Knowing he’d get an icy reception by the fire, he opted for the less personal cold he’d find upstairs.
If he was honest, he thought as he trudged up to Todd and Lainie’s room, he’d started imagining what it would be like to stay in Holiday Harbor and forge an honest-to-goodness relationship with Julia. Take her to dinner, or drive over to Oakbridge for a movie. It didn’t fit with any of the plans he’d made for his life but he’d started to think it might be worth trying all the same. None of that would happen now, he recognized as he stretched out fully dressed on the bed and pulled the chilly covers over him. Furious as he’d been earlier, it had begun to dawn on him that Julia had done her best to convince him to bury the past and move forward, to the point of enlisting his father to help her make it happen.
Why did it matter so much to her? he wondered, threading his fingers together behind his head. He sifted through several ideas, but when he finally drifted off, he was no closer to an answer.
A few hours later, he woke to light piercing his eyelids. Cracking one of them open, he saw the lights had come back on, and the alarm clock display was flashing 12:00. Weak sunlight was coming through the windows, making the icicles sparkle like clear Christmas lights. With a low groan, the furnace kicked on, and the registers started pumping warm air into the chilly room. Nick picked up his phone to see that it was after six, and the internet icon was spinning at full power.
He could hear people shifting around downstairs, then the back door open and close. Now that he’d gotten some peace and quiet, he realized that staying here so long had been a horrible idea. A couple of extra days after Thanksgiving would have been enough, and then he’d have been gone before things went south with Julia. They would have parted as friends, and he’d have a collection of good memories rather than the mixed bag he’d ended up with.
There was no help for it now, so he shook off his regrets and opened his travel link. Scrolling through, he found several possible flights back to Richmond. Because of the storm, airport traffic was delayed, but he could probably leave Tuesday. Even if he had to wait another night, he’d rather do that in a Rockland hotel than here.
While he was considering which flight and hotel to book, his email alert chimed. The dollhouse maker in California was letting him know that despite the storm, his order had just touched down in Portland, Maine. It was being loaded on a truck and should be delivered by Wednesday, two days before his Christmas Eve deadline.
Julia’s gift.
He’d forgotten all about it. Resting the phone against his forehead, Nick recalled that day when he’d placed the order with jumbled emotions. One of the best in his life, he’d made the mistake of allowing himself to believe it was the start of what could be a new beginning with his family, with the town…and with her. He’d taken a leap and followed his heart, making a purchase he never should have considered.
Then again, the dollhouse was going to Ben’s place for him to put together and load onto his pickup. He was perfectly capable of taking it to Julia himself. Almost immediately, Nick rejected that as a cop-out. The gift was from him, and he should be the one to give it to her. The night he’d found it, he’d envisioned her reacting to it like a kid who’s been surprised on Christmas morning. In truth, he’d imagined getting a delighted smile, maybe even a kiss as a reward for being so thoughtful.
The trouble was, with the way things had ended between them yesterday, she was just as likely to cut him down with some wilting remark and stroll away.
While he made the bed, he had to admit he wouldn’t blame her for shutting him out. Now that his temper had cooled, he accepted her comment about wanting to help his family—and him. She’d intentionally pushed his most sensitive button, but that was no excuse for the way he’d turned on her. She’d interfered out of kindness and the desire to make things better. He’d retaliated out of—what?
Fear.
The answer came through as if someone had said it out loud, startling him so thoroughly, he sank down onto the half-made bed. The problem was, he had no clue what frightened him so much that he’d rather keep battling with his father than make amends and bring the family some peace.
He wasn’t an idiot—Nick recognized that most people found him difficult to deal with. He was demanding, and he made sure things got done his way. A perfectionist, Mom used to say. Like his father.
And in that moment, it all made sense. They were nearly identical in their approach to things, but they applied their considerable energy to vastly different goals. Because of it, they grated on each other’s nerves. While Ian’s death was a tragedy that had devastated them both, it wasn’t the cause of their ongoing struggle.
They’d done it to themselves.
Thinking back, Nick recalled many terse lectures about his lack of commitment to God and how following his own map would lead him absolutely nowhere. He couldn’t imagine how Dad felt when he rocketed from one journalism position to another, finally landing an opportunity to start his own magazine. With every success, he’d proved his father wrong, adding fuel to the fire that had simmered between them for as long as he could remember.
Contrary to what he’d believed all these years, the problem wasn’t that Nick wasn’t Ian. It was that he wasn’t Daniel.
The revelation hit him like a bolt of lightning, driving Nick to his feet. Hurrying downstairs, he pulled up short when the conversation in the kitchen stopped abruptly. Everyone was sitting around the table, looking guilty.
Except for Hannah, who piped up, “Good morning, Uncle Nick. Mommy’s making pancakes. Would you like some?”
Since Lainie was avoiding his gaze, he settled for smiling at the little girl who’d used a Christmas wish to bring him home. “I’d love some, munchkin. But save mine for me while I talk to Grampa.”
“Okay.” Her pink-ribboned ponytail bobbed while she nodded, and if he hadn’t known better, he’d have thought she called him out on purpose. The idea that his four-year-old niece would step up for him that way made him feel a lot better than he had earlier.
“Dad?” Motioning him into the living room, Nick caught the apprehensive look that passed between his parents. Hoping to ease their minds, he added, “It’s not bad, I promise. In fact, I think it’ll make us all really happy.”
More confident, his father stood and Nick respectfully stepped aside to let him go first. They both remained standing, their usual approach so each could make a quick exit if necessary. Nick hoped that soon they’d be able to sit and chat like a normal father and son.
“I was upstairs thinking about yesterday,” he began gently. “That conversation was between you and Julia, and I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I’m sorry if I upset you.”
He’d expected a simple nod, which was the usual response when he screwed up and apologized. Instead, he got a slight smile. “I’m sorry, too. Julia’s heart was in the right place, but I should’ve had that talk with you, not her.”
The admission threw Nick off his stride, but he recovered and plowed ahead. “I appreciate that, Dad. But I have to give her credit—she got me thinking.”
While he described his early morning epiphany, understanding slowly made its way across the pastor’s weary features. By the time Nick was finished, those dark eyes were sparkling with something he didn’t see very often: pride.
“I’ve never thought of it that way, but you’re right,” Dad acknowledged in a pensive tone. “We’re both dedicated to what we do, and we have a hard time viewing things from another perspective. But I want to correct one error in your assumptions.”
Delivered in the fatherly tone he used with parishioners seeking his advice, only a few hours ago the comment would have set Nick’s hackles on edge. Now, it made him smile. “What’s
that?”
“I never expected you to become a pastor simply because that was my path. All I wanted was for you to love and honor God, to have a faith that would guide you through whatever life you chose.”
Gratitude clogged Nick’s throat, and he swallowed hard to keep his voice steady. “Thanks, Dad. I know we don’t always agree on things, so that means a lot to me.”
“We may see things differently,” he said, resting a hand on Nick’s shoulder. “But I’m still very proud of what you’ve accomplished.” He could have left it there, ending their encounter with kind words instead of a slamming door. But he went on with a somber look. “Julia told me you still blame yourself for Ian’s death. You’ll have to make your own peace with that, but in my mind, it was nothing more than a tragic accident. I love you, and I know you’d never intentionally have done anything to harm your brother.”
As if that wasn’t enough, then he did something Nick couldn’t have imagined in his wildest dreams. Smiling, he opened his arms in a welcoming gesture no one with a heart could resist. Nick went into that hug as a rush of unfamiliar emotions threatened to overwhelm him. He couldn’t begin to describe what he was feeling, and then the perfect phrase bubbled to the surface.
“I love you, too, Dad.”
Chapter Ten
Julia had anticipated that things would be off-kilter at Toyland because of the storm, but she hadn’t expected anything like this. Even before opening on Sunday, two delivery trucks pulled up outside, and their drivers began unloading shipments of new stock that had been delayed by the storm. She quickly ran out of space in the store room, so as much as she hated to clog up her display area, she had no choice but to have them stack boxes out front.
She was glad Lainie had kept Shakespeare because after being uprooted from her apartment, all the commotion would probably have sent him into shock. He was one of the more intelligent creatures she’d ever come across, so she could imagine him being upset by too much upheaval. Then he’d need a bird psychiatrist, and she had no idea where to find one of those.
The absurd thought made her laugh, and she shook her head at her own foolishness. She hadn’t slept well during the blackout, and she was a little loopy this morning. The deluge of toys hadn’t helped any. When the jingle bells on the front door rang, without looking up she said, “I’m sorry. We’re not ready for customers just yet.”
“How ’bout apologies?”
She glanced up to find Nick standing in front of her, a bakery box in one hand and a rack of coffees in the other. Drawn by the scent of goodies, her assistants swooped in, gushing their thanks before disappearing into the storeroom again. For her part, Julia kept on working. She wasn’t one to hold a grudge, but Nick had stepped way over the line yesterday. Being human, she wasn’t above letting him sweat a little.
After several awkward seconds, he sighed. “Julia, I feel awful about yesterday. You were trying to help, and I bit your head off. I really am sorry.”
“Apology accepted,” she said tersely. “Thank you for stopping by.”
Setting what remained of his peace offering on the counter near the register, he said, “I wanted you to know you got through to me. I was mad at first, but later on what you said made sense. This morning, Dad and I got some things out in the open that’ve been bottled up for a long time. We still have some work to do, but we made a good start.”
Julia felt her heart beginning to soften and sternly reminded herself that this man had lashed out at her like a cobra only a few hours ago. Still smarting from the experience, she didn’t want Nick to know how she was feeling right now. Hoping to keep her emotions under wraps, she busied herself arranging a fleet of construction vehicles on an empty shelf. “I’m glad to hear that.”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” he continued, “but once I make up my mind about something, it’s kinda hard to change.”
She felt a smile flickering and forced herself not to look over at him. “I’ve noticed.”
Apparently, he’d had enough of her fencing, and he boldly stepped in front of her, blocking her from the shelves. “Not everyone has what it takes to make me see things from another perspective. I really appreciate you not giving up on me.”
He didn’t touch her, but the warmth glowing in his eyes reached deep inside her to a place she knew would always belong to him. Despite her best efforts, somehow she’d become very fond of this arrogant, aggravating man who had a knack for making her smile.
Giving in to the impulse, she did just that as she gazed up at him. “You’re very good at apologizing.”
“Lots of practice,” he admitted, cocking his head in an uncertain gesture. “Does that mean you forgive me?”
She laughed. “It’s Christmas. How could I not?”
Relief flooded his features, and he drew her into his arms for a long, emotional embrace. Burying his face in her shoulder, he murmured, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” As she pulled away, his hesitant expression gave way to an admiring grin, and she decided there was nothing she enjoyed more than seeing this very intense man smile. “I hate to do this, but between catching up with stock and sending out orders, we’re crazed in here. I really have to get back to work.”
“I could help,” he replied immediately, tossing his coat on the counter. “What do you need?”
Ordinarily, she’d politely tell him it wasn’t necessary, but today was a different story. An extra pair of hands would make all the difference, and she was more than grateful for his offer. “We open in an hour, and I’d really like to have the shop floor clear when customers start coming in. If you can stock out here, I’ll start on the shipping.”
“You got it, boss.” He made an odd face, and they both laughed. “That sounds weird. Usually, other people say that to me.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear it.”
On her way past him, she patted his shoulder in a friendly way. To her surprise, he caught her hand and reeled her close enough that for a moment, she thought she was in for another kiss. Instead, he simply looked down at her, dark eyes glittering with blatant admiration. His heart beat a comfortable rhythm under her palm, a sensation so intimate she almost forgot to breathe.
“I’ve never met anyone like you,” he finally said in a voice barely above a whisper. “Gorgeous, smart and sweet, all wrapped up in one amazing package.”
“I—” Blinking up at him like a mindless twit, she finally found some words. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Flashing her one of his most maddening grins, he brushed his lips across the back of her hand, then released it and sauntered away to start restocking the art supplies.
Julia stood there for a full minute, waiting for her heart to stop running away with her. She could feel the heat in her cheeks and took several deep breaths to regain her usual composure. She’d known her share of intelligent, sophisticated men from all over the world, she mused as she went to the computer and pulled up her shipping list. Why on earth did this smart-aleck editor drive her to distraction?
Her romantic mother would have a quick answer to that one. With a delighted smile, she’d inform her very pragmatic daughter that she was in love with Nick McHenry. Only one problem: it was a horrible idea. They were opposites in every way, and while Julia could imagine that working for other couples, she wasn’t sure about it for herself.
Then again, he’d told her he was considering closing down his business so he could enjoy the holidays. The driven businessman she’d met after Thanksgiving detested Christmas and couldn’t wait to leave his charming hometown behind.
What had changed? she wondered as she boxed up an order of train accessories. If Nick’s confession was sincere, she’d found a way through his tough exterior to the good heart he was hiding under all that bluster. That was all well and good, but there was one more sticking point for her, and there was no getting around it.
Nick had rejected his faith long ago. She un
derstood the reason, even sympathized with it to an extent, but it was a major obstacle to any kind of relationship. Over the past year, she’d had lots of time to examine her past failures with romantic relationships, and while the men were as different as could be, they all had one thing in common.
None of them shared her faith. It was such an important part of her life, not just for the community at church but as a beacon that guided her every day. Despite the recent knocks she’d taken, Julia recognized that she’d led—and continued to lead—an exceptional life. That was no accident, and she was grateful to God for keeping watch over her.
By helping with the pageant, Nick had taken a few tentative steps back toward the right path, but he still had a long way to go. Much as she cared about him, she knew that until he made his peace with God, there was no future for them.
Julia would help him all she could, but in the end it was up to him.
*
Wednesday afternoon, Nick was out fetching critical packing supplies for Julia when his phone rang. Seeing Ben’s face on the screen, he answered with a desperate, “Please tell me the dollhouse is at your place.”
“Just got here, all three crates of it.” When he chuckled, Nick was reminded that Ben was so laid-back, he made easygoing Cooper look tense. “This thing is enormous, man. It really should be built wherever Julia wants to have it. Like forever—because once it’s put together, there won’t be any good way to move it.”
Nick frowned at the unanticipated complication. Until now, the biggest obstacle had been getting the large house delivered in time for Christmas. As his mind raced for a solution, he pictured her large, empty living room and the vacant space between two built-in bookcases that had once held some kind of wide cabinet. He was pretty good with measurements and described the spot to Ben.
“That’d work, I think. I’d hate to put it on the floor, though. I’ve seen that collection of hers, and she’ll want it up where she can see everything.”
Love Inspired December 2013 - Bundle 2 of 2: Cozy ChristmasHer Holiday HeroJingle Bell Romance Page 55