by Maggie Mundy
Greg gazed at Beth as they sat in silence.
“Hold my hand,” he said.
It seemed a pathetic gesture, but it was all he could offer, even though it was the last thing he should do. Beth grabbed his hand like a drowning man grabs a life raft. She had so much love around her. Greg shook his head at the fact the others, who were meant to be so close, hadn’t picked up on her sadness.
“You shouldn’t offer me anything, Greg. Not even your hand. I need this too much.”
Greg remembered her standing near the door in a motel in Gawler. He couldn’t be hearing her right, not after everything. She still wanted him.
“Beth. You’re kidding me, right, after what happened last time? I’m his dad, but I can’t offer you anything. No happy endings.”
He wouldn’t turn her down, but he didn’t want to move in. He couldn’t move in, and she needed to know that.
“You’re not my date, you’re the babysitter.” She laughed, but the sound was more of a gasp. She turned him on so much.
“I’m fucked up, Beth. You know this, and I won’t move in and play Dad. I’m no more what you’re looking for than Derek, in fact Derek’s probably a safer bet.” He said the words, but his mind prayed she wouldn’t tell him to go.
“I’m not perfect either, and maybe it’s crazy, but you’re safe. I know what to expect and I’m not going to get hurt here.”
He was pleased she wasn’t happy with Derek, but she had no idea what she was dealing with. She would get hurt, she would get hurt big time, and he knew it. He was being a selfish prick and he didn’t want to stop himself.
She leaned her head on his shoulder, the smell of jasmine wafting. She always smelled good. Pulling her hair aside, the nape of her neck was before him. Her skin looked smooth and inviting and when he kissed her he noticed the goose bumps. Shit, this woman made him always feel like he was her first. His lips touched the silken skin of her neck and she writhed in her seat. Did she have any idea how she made him want to take her right this minute? To pull her onto his lap and let her move that glorious body of hers up and down on him…
He stopped, sitting back so they were not touching.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I should leave.” This was going too far, way too far. He had told Des he needed to be gone and being close to people wasn’t a good idea, but Des believed people would understand. It didn’t matter now. He wanted her.
“Don’t be sorry, and don’t leave. Listen, Greg, I’m not stupid. I understand you don’t love me. I had love with Jeff… but I’d still like to have you close, even if it’s just for tonight.”
She studied him as if summing him up. When he didn’t move away she leaned forward and her lips brushed his. She moved back away, and he found himself moving toward her this time. His eyes were open, hers closed, as if waiting. She was so tempting.
He touched her lip at the corner with his tongue and she gasped and opened her mouth. He knew heaven existed there. His kisses were gentle at first until his tongue entered her mouth and felt the moist velvet interior he’d lost himself in before. For a woman who had only had two men in her life, she knew what to do with her tongue. They kissed like two kids on a first date, the rest of their bodies not touching. Everything focused on their mouths and what they were doing to each other. He pulled away, breathing heavily, but he’d already made his decision.
“Go check on Josh. I’ll go out and make sure I locked my pick-up.”
Opening the glove compartment, he grabbed the foil packets. He’d lost control last time and wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. He didn’t think he could go through the labor room experience again. As he walked back in the house, he heard a door slam. He peered around and got the impression it came from across the street, but couldn’t make anything out. Entering the bedroom, he saw Beth standing at the end of the cot. He slipped his arm around her waist. Her hands were holding onto the cot tightly.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked.
“Yes, I just feel uncomfortable sleeping together in the same room as Josh. That’s so silly, I know, but … oh, I don’t know.”
“I didn’t think we were planning on sleeping, but it’s fine. To tell you the truth, I was thinking the same. I’ll get the intercom.”
Greg grabbed the doona and pillow. A lounge room floor on a doona was all right with him. He sat on the couch undoing his boots while Beth sat next to him, her shoes off and top gone. She pulled down her trousers and she was wearing a G-string. As if he wasn’t hard enough. He was glad Derek hadn’t seen that. She looked to him as he took off his shirt.
“Seem a bit keen, don’t I?” She bit her bottom lip.
“Beth, one of the things I’ve liked about you from the first moment I met you is you surprise me, and from a man’s perspective you should know there is rarely an occasion when the woman is more keen.” Greg pulled his jeans off but grabbed the two condom packets from his pocket, throwing them on the coffee table next to them.
“It’s all right, unless you want to. I’m not going to get pregnant. I love Josh, but have to admit I’m not too keen to repeat the experience. When I had my six-week check a couple of weeks back, the doctor said I’m all healed. I’ve had a contraceptive device put in.”
Greg sighed, and thought: there was too much history here, and it wasn’t just going to be sex no matter how much he told himself that. But he wanted her. He wanted to be buried inside her and make her groan like before. He turned and looked her in the eyes as she sat beside him.
“I just wanted you to know I’m clean.”
“Wait, there’s something I want to do first.”
He smiled as he watched her jump up. Beth in a G-string and bra made his heart race. She still had some of the baby weight, but he didn’t care. She came back and lit candles and placed them on the bookshelf.
“Have you been planning this?”
“No.” She paused and turned back to him. “I won’t deny I hoped, though.”
“Shit, you’re crazy, woman. You were hoping we would do this again after Josh.” Greg shook his head.
“Yes. I know you think I’m mad, but when you left the motel back then I swore to myself I wouldn’t go another three years before I had sex again. Of course, at that point, I didn’t realize I was pregnant. I also didn’t think the next person I would be doing this with would be you again. I’m babbling, aren’t I?”
Greg nodded. The last candle she lit was on the coffee table and she had her butt to him. This had to stop––he needed to touch her. He’d wanted to touch her since first he had seen her again. Even pregnant with his kid, he’d wanted to hold her.
“Ah, the blinds are open!” Beth yelped.
“It’s okay, no one’s going to be staring at your house, trust me. I don’t think we’ll be on the front page of The Advertiser tomorrow.” Greg closed the blinds and walked back over, removing his boxers that were doing nothing to hide the fact he was more than willing, with a huge hard-on.
Beth lay beside him on the doona and went quiet again. She gazed at his face and then down his body. He was naked and aroused but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. He never hurt women, he always pleasured them but he was always in control. She knew that. She pushed him back on the doona and straddled him. She smiled and leaned forward and kissed him. He took a deep breath. He could cope so far.
She leaned over him so her hair draped around his face. Her lips were no more than a few centimeters away and he could feel her breath on him as she parted them. She ran her tongue across her top lip and he found himself lifting his head off the floor to get closer to her.
Her lips touched his. She gently moved them from side to side and then nipped his bottom lip as she glanced up at him. Slowly she entered his mouth with her tongue so it found his and they began an exquisite dance. How long had they kissed? He didn’t know and he didn’t care. She would make noises like little groans from her throat and it made him want to be inside her.
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nbsp; She moved to his ears, just nibbling his ear lobes, sending him insane, and then a trail of kisses down his neck and onto his chest. He lost himself in the moment until he felt her fingers run over his skin on his thigh toward his dick. He grabbed her hand. He was hurting her as he held her arm away from his body, but he couldn’t allow this. Silence.
This was getting to be a repeating pattern. Was it worth it? He didn’t know, and the answer angered him, but not enough to leave. He watched as Beth stared down at his hands that looked like cuffs around her wrists. In his mind, it was the ropes that had held him down, and he let go. Why was he fucking with her life?
She moved off him and sat down.
“Greg, I don’t understand what’s going on, and I don’t expect you to tell me. I just want you to know I want to touch you. I want to touch you so much my body hurts when I can’t reach out and caress you.”
“No, Beth.” This wasn’t a topic for discussion.
“You’re not going to tell me why, are you?”
His body no longer felt any desire to continue this. His ego deflated, and that wasn’t the only thing. He needed to leave but instead he sat against the couch. Beth knelt in front of him. Greg ran his hand through his hair and across his forehead as he looked at her. She was planning something, he could tell. He still wanted her, but it had to be on his terms.
“I want you so much. Please, will you try something? If you want to go, then it’s fine. You can still see Josh and everything.” Her eyes watered as she spoke.
He wanted to touch her body. This was mad. He couldn’t think––all he wanted was to feel her beneath him, his body on hers, in hers.
“Greg. I want you to reach around me and undo my bra.”
“What?” His eyes looked straight into hers and she wasn’t kidding. He could see the eagerness. She wanted this as much as he did. He unfastened her bra and gazed at her breasts. Did she have any idea how many nights he’d dreamt of what they would feel like under his hands again?
“Give me your hands. Can you trust me, Greg?”
His fists were clenched. Trust was a bloody big word in his vocabulary. He wanted to, though. When those closest to you let you down its hard to have faith in anyone else.
“Shut your eyes, and if you change your mind, open them. I’m not going to touch you. You’re touching me, but I’m in control.”
His heart beat wildly. Touching her wasn’t a problem, and he could do this. He closed his eyes but his heart still raced. Beth took each one of his hands and slowly unclenched his fists. She placed his hands on her face. With his eyes closed, his fingers traced her forehead and angle of the jaw and over her lips. He ran his finger over those lips he’d tasted and she murmured something he couldn’t make out. She took his forefinger on his left hand in her mouth, moving it slowly in and out.
“Fuck, Beth. You’re killing me.”
His mind reeled thinking of those lips on the most intimate part of him. She moved his hands up into her hair. She turned her head one way and then another, as he ran his fingers through her auburn tresses. Telltale movements of her knees against his and the way she breathed were sending him crazy. Moving his hands around her scalp, he wanted to thrust forward, and she sensed it and responded.
He let Beth control his hands as they moved from her head down her neck and shoulders to her breasts. He struggled to keep his eyes shut as his thumbs rubbed against her nipples, causing them to stiffen. They were bigger due to the breastfeeding so he didn’t want to hurt her, but the soft feel of them in his hands made his balls ache. She guided his hands down her sides and onto her thighs, moving them slowly from her knees to her hips.
She felt so good, and then she surprised him again. She took his right hand so he cupped her core. He could feel the heat coming off her onto his palm. What would that heat feel like when it surrounded him? Moving his right hand up, she angled it down inside her G-string. She was so wet and her hand was no longer controlling his. She leaned forward and kissed his neck as he touched inside her. The hardness of some areas and the sublime wetness made everything meld together into one sensation. She wasn’t holding his hands anymore. He moved his finger slowly back and forth and she pushed against him.
“Stop, Greg.” Her voice came out in a struggling breath. He opened his eyes. “I want more than this.”
“What do you mean?” He didn’t like the sound of this.
“Now I do the same. I close my eyes and you have complete control, I trust you. I know you have anger inside you, but I also know you won’t hurt me.” Beth closed her eyes and placed her hands palms up on her thighs as she kneeled before him.
What game did she think she was playing? He stared at her hands in silence with his hard-on shrinking at the same rate. She didn’t move. She just waited for him. The alternative was to go, and he didn’t want to, not after where his fingers had just been. He took her right hand in his and noticed her body relax. Shit, he didn’t want to scare her, not ever … she had earned the right to something better. What he didn’t know was whether he could do this. So many years of believing someone touching you intimately was wrong. Could he break through that?
He lifted her hand to his face. Her fingers were so gentle flicking his eyelashes, his forehead, and his cheeks and then running them slowly over his lips. Watching her, it was as if a blind person were trying to make out who he was from his features. It would do her no good: no one could get that deep. He would do this, but she still wouldn’t know him. He pushed her hands through his hair and down his neck and onto his chest. Her fingers moved through his chest hair.
He was hard and throbbing again, but the thought of anyone’s hands on him made his breathing shallow, and he felt dizzy. He had to stop for a moment and gather himself. She didn’t say anything. She just waited with her hands flat against his chest. He could feel his heart pounding against her palm. He told himself this was his Beth, and for tonight she wouldn’t hurt him.
He took a deep breath and moved one of her hands slowly down his abdomen and onto his dick. She didn’t move, she just held him gently. Her lips curved in a smile and it made him want her more. She just wanted to please him. Slowly, gently with his hand over hers he could control the speed. As her hands moved up and down, he watched her face and saw her breathing increase.
“Open your eyes, Beth, because if we keep this up I’m gone.”
The smile she gave him was overpowering. She moved toward him and kissed him on the mouth so hard they fell back on the doona. Rules had been broken now and he didn’t know where this would lead. His breath caught as she leaned into his neck and nibbled just below his ear. Then she swirled her tongue on his neck causing his whole body to surge with need for her. Beth leaned back so he could touch her neck. As he sucked, she pushed into his groin. He needed to get that damn G-string off her.
“I’ve waited a long time for this,” she said and pushed him over before he could do a thing. She kissed his mouth with a deep lingering kiss but then giggled as she moved away. She trailed kisses down his body to his chest where she nipped on his nipples. Her hands were roving everywhere but his dick. She ran them across his lower abdomen and down his legs. She knelt between his open legs and licked up the inside of his thigh.
What the hell? She was going down on him. He’d never let anyone do that. Could he go through with this? His breathing sped up as she took his dick in her mouth. She licked, and sucked, and drove him insane with the moist heat. Whatever he had thought about his finger in her mouth earlier was irrelevant. She teased him, sucking on the head and probing the tip with her tongue. He couldn’t stop the groan leaving his lips. He would come right now if she didn’t stop. He found himself thrusting up at her as if he could get deeper, but there was only one place he wanted to go deeper.
“Beth.” He wasn’t even sure how he’d gotten her name out.
She stopped and lay beside him with a big smile on her face. Greg laughed.
“My turn.” He slipped his fingers into the side
s of her G-string and it was off.
He rolled her onto her back and encouraged her to open her legs so he could see her. She covered her face at first, embarrassed, as he gazed at her. Beth’s fingers ran through his hair as he started kissing her. He could lose himself in this, just licking every crevice and fold and sticking his tongue in her moistness. He flicked and sucked her clitoris, and her legs gave little jerks at the sensations he sent through her. Her body shuddered as he tickled her with his tongue. He had to stop. He sat back looking at her lying there. He wanted her so much.
“I need you inside me, Greg.”
He didn’t need any encouragement. He moved on top of her gently in case she was still sore from the surgery. Her hands ran up and down his back as her legs curved around his waist. He could feel the head of his dick pressing against her heat, and knew it was the only place in the world he wanted to be. He wanted this to last.
God only knew if he would ever get the chance again. He moved slowly, just pushing in a small way before withdrawing and hearing her breathy sigh. He kissed her mouth as he plunged into her again. He moved on her until his body and mind were totally absorbed by her. He liked getting lost in this woman. She was so wet. It brought back memories of their first time. He wanted to do this all night. They started slow, but with each thrust he could feel the tension building. The sounds she made as he moved in her were doing his brain in. Little groans telling him everything he did made her happy. As if every movement stimulated some new nerve. Her hands were on his butt, encouraging him to push deeper.
He slipped his hand lower and touched her, feeling the wetness as they moved together. He touched her clit knowing it would send them both over the edge. He was almost there as he heard her gasp repeatedly and quiver beneath him. That was it, he was going to explode and couldn’t stop the groan that escaped his own lips as he emptied himself into her. He shuddered again and again until there was nothing left. They lay there for a while in silence as she ran her fingers up and down his back as he pulsed inside of her. He had never thought it would happen. He had let someone touch him. Looking up at her, he saw she smiled at him. No, she was grinning.