by Erin Wright
He reached down, grasping her ankles and guiding her legs over his shoulders.
She trembled with excitement. Her mind screamed, Yes! Please! Yes! Please! Over and over. Nothing was left but desire.
He placed his hands on the tops of her thighs and, with a pull on her and thrust of his hips, he entered her.
Her eyes slammed shut as colors exploded across the backs of her eyelids. The sensation was all-consuming. She was certainly not a virgin, but she might as well have been one, in all the ways that mattered.
He was touching parts of her that had never received attention before, filling her in an entirely new way. The combination of the physical sensation of Jaxson moving in and out of her slowly but firmly, and the emotional overload of being with a man that she wanted to be with, caused a flash of bright white light to explode in her mind. She felt her body tense with a completely foreign sense of joy, her body responding by going rigid. She felt him slip deeper inside of her as she pressed herself against him.
She heard a sound. It seemed to be a faint echo of a grunt that had traveled a hundred miles to reach her ears.
He continued to rock back and forth as her body lurched in unrestrained pleasure.
Finally, her muscles relaxed just a bit. Her back flattened against the bed once more and she managed to open her eyes. Jaxson’s face was tight with concentration as he kept his rhythm going.
Feeling her relax, he released his grip on her ankles, something she’d failed to notice until that point. Pulling back, he freed himself of her body. She felt her face contort into a look of disappointment.
He reached down placing a hand on each of her hips and, using his impressive strength, lifted her off the bed just enough to roll her over. He repositioned his hands on her hips and lifted her once again. Her knees bent automatically and he lowered her onto the bed once more so that her knees rested on the end of the mattress.
She braced herself with her arms and bowed her back before turning her head over her shoulder to look at him. His face had taken on a look of focused desire, his lips turned up on one side.
She felt his fingers curl into the soft flesh of her hips. Once again, he combined a pull and a thrust, entering her. And just like the moments before, she was taken with sensations that were alien. She fell in love with these new feelings. She became addicted to these new feelings.
He moved with her, back and forth, back and forth, her mind cataloging in meticulous detail the way he felt both entering and leaving her. Her mind greedily soaked up every detail, as if it was worried that this may be the only time this would ever happen to her. This feeling, this emotion…
This love.
She felt his fingers tighten against her skin as he pulled her body roughly, holding her tightly to him, as he came, shouting his relief into the darkness of the apartment. She felt his breathing through every cell in her body, his muscles tensing and relaxing sporadically. She was lost in the idea that she was giving this man as much joy as he’d given her.
Finally, his fingers relaxed. He slumped forward, bending over her so that his chest rested against her back. She could feel the pounding of his heart through her spine. Everything was so close. So raw. So perfect.
She felt him slip from her, and wanted to cry at losing that connection.
There were a few disorganized moments as they crawled forward together onto the bed. Eventually finding their way under the blankets, she climbed on top of him and curled into a ball, pressing her slight frame against his heaving chest.
Her eyes slowly closed as that feeling of security enveloped her. For perhaps the first time in her life, Sugar felt completely relaxed, completely safe, completely content. She slipped away into the welcoming embrace of slumber.
Chapter 20
Jaxson
Jaxson woke up to a heavy weight pushing inexorably down on his legs, trapping him in place. He was being crushed to death as some terrible retribution for wanting to kill his wife and now, they’d decided he should—
Then Hamlet let out a long snore, shifting his weight across Jaxson’s lower half, and Jaxson sank back into the mattress, scrubbing at his eyeballs with the palms of his hands. Good Lord Almighty, that was one way of waking up. He was plenty awake now, even if Sugar and Hamlet were still snoring beside him…and on top of him.
Having Sugar use him as a human mattress would be one thing – he was quite happy when she’d fallen asleep on top of him last night, actually – but having Hamlet do it was quite another. He shifted his legs one at a time, working them out from underneath the massive dog, until he could swing them off the bed and sit up, staring out through the window to the cold predawn world outside.
Last night had been nice. Real nice.
He grimaced to himself. Who was he kidding? Last night had been more than “nice.” It had been stunning. Amazing. The best sex he’d ever had, and wasn’t that just something? He and Sugar were supposed to only be friends with benefits, and last night was definitely one hell of a benefit, but…
It was more than that. It’d been much, much more than he’d expected. More wonderful, more mind-blowing, more…everything.
He felt a cold sweat break out all over his body at the thought. He wasn’t supposed to love last night like that. It was just supposed to be a way to let off steam, not change his whole world.
He stood up and began searching for his clothes, strewn every which way in the darkness. He didn’t want to wake up Hamlet or Sugar; he just wanted to leave. Sneak away. Get some breathing room. Think a little. Screw his head on straight.
Something.
He pulled his jeans on and then shoved his feet, sans socks, into his boots. He couldn’t find them in the darkness and anyway, they were too complicated to operate at two in the morning. Yanking on his Sawyer City Fire Department shirt but leaving it unbuttoned – buttons were too complicated also – he grabbed his jacket from the back of the couch and headed for the door, trying to keep the clomping of his footsteps to a minimum.
He’d go home and sleep in his own bed, letting Hamlet have his domain back, and in the meanwhile, he’d think. A lot. And decide just what in the hell he was gonna do about a certain Sugar Stonemyer.
Chapter 21
Sugar
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Her obnoxious, way-across-the-room alarm clock was going off, and dammit all, it was way across the room so she couldn’t just beat it into submission. She cracked one eyelid open, trying to decide if she’d somehow acquired new superhero skills during the night and could now turn off her alarm clock with a one-eyed glare across the room.
Alas, her superhero skills seemed to be lacking this morning, as they were sadly lacking every morning. She rolled off the bed and crashed to the floor, then crawled across to the side table where – blessed be! – the alarm clock was finally within reach. She promptly whacked it until it shut up. She sat back down on the floor and scrubbed her eyeballs with the palms of her hands. She was even more tired than normal, and she couldn’t remember why. There was something weird. Something off. Something wasn’t the way it was supposed to be.
She squinted in the semi-darkness, trying to see by the light of the waning moon and a street lamp streaming in through the window. It was 4:30 – a quick glance at her alarm clock said 4:36, actually – in the morning, which is when she always woke up when going to work. Hamlet was snoring at the end of the bed, completely and happily oblivious to the alarm clock routine. There was a wool sock on the floor, long and thick and halfway turned inside out, sticking out from underneath the bed. That was weird. She didn’t own any socks like—
Oh.
Oh.
Jaxson. Jaxson Anderson had happened last night. And again early this morning.
She dropped her head into her hands and sighed. She shouldn’t have done that. She really, really shouldn’t have done that. Despite their official status as Friends with Benefits, last night had felt like a lot more than that.
Her head shot back up,
whacking it up against the wall. She rubbed it gingerly as she looked around the bedroom again. Hold on a moment. Then where the bloody hell is Jaxson?
She scrambled to her feet, then back down onto her hands and knees to look under the bed – because Jaxson would hide underneath there? She didn’t know why she was looking there. She knew it was ridiculous even as she was doing it. Once she discovered the mate to the wool sock at the end of the bed, she snatched them both up and stood up, tossing the socks onto the bed and heading through the rest of her small apartment, on the hunt for Jaxson.
He was gone. Disappeared. All just a figment of her imagination…except for his socks.
It seemed like if she was just going to conjure this shit up, she could’ve at least chosen something better for him to leave behind than sweaty, used woolen socks.
She stumbled into the bathroom, brushing her teeth as she stared at her sleep-rumpled reflection in the mirror. She was a bonafide idiot. She should’ve known that she couldn’t do FWBs. She thought she could be all suave and city girl and chic – have a no-strings-attached fling with a sexy man.
She could not.
She felt a wave of depression roll over her. With Jaxson sneaking out, trying to pull a disappearing act on her, it was clear he didn’t even want FWBs status, let alone anything else. She’d allowed herself to fall in like with a guy – a guy she barely knew – and even worse, fall into bed with him. What the hell had she been thinking? She’d only ever slept with one guy in her entire life, and the debacle that was her first marriage – and the too-awful-for-words circumstances leading up to it – should’ve been her clue that this sex idea shouldn’t be repeated.
No matter how amazing it felt.
She made herself go to work, and then made herself smile at customers, and then made herself not cry when, hour after hour, Jaxson didn’t appear. No coffee and donut for him today. This would be the first time he’d skipped coming by since the last time he’d freaked out and quit coming by, which just cemented it into her mind: He was avoiding her. Staying far, far away from her. Maybe, the horrific thought occurred to her about three in the afternoon, the sex had been awful for him, and he’d just been pretending the whole time!
She was concentrating hard on not letting the pain of that thought show on her face, when she heard his name. Her head shot up so fast, she’d probably need to go see the chiropractor after work for it, but she ignored the pain and zeroed in on Mr. Behrend and Mr. Maddow, who were there for their weekly piece of pie and coffee, just like every Wednesday afternoon.
“Can you believe the nerve of that man, firing James?” Mr. Behrend snorted. “James has been with the department for over 20 years. You can’t fire him any more than you can fire the tanker. The whole thing is ridiculous. He’s a goddamn volunteer who has risked his life more times than I can count for this here community, and this is his thanks? That city slicker needs to go back to where he came from, before he sets the fire department on fire, too. Why, he’s so lazy, he’d probably just stand there and watch that burn to the ground also!”
Mr. Maddow guffawed at his friend’s witticism. “Never seen anything like it. I knew them people from Boise weren’t the brightest bulbs in the bunch, but I didn’t expect this. No siree bob. And to think that we’re paying lots more in taxes every year for this dumbass. If he’s still there by summer, I can tell you who ain’t gonna be – the city council! I say we get every one of ‘em kicked out. Teach ‘em a lesson.”
Sugar looked down at the counter, making ever-smaller circles with her rag. They were right – Jaxson didn’t fit in here. Never had.
Which meant that soon, he was gonna leave and head back to Boise anyway. Falling in like with him was even dumber than she’d realized. She’d started to like the one man in town who was guaran-damn-teed to be on his way out the door.
Yeah, Sugar was an idiot, all right.
Chapter 22
Jaxson
Paperwork. How had his life been reduced to nothing but paperwork? He stared bleary eyed at the grant paperwork in front of him. After Chief Horvath had secured the new fire truck through a grant, everyone in town congratulated him on a job well-done, not realizing that there was still a step two left in the process – getting all of the upgrades for their brand-new stripped-down fire engine.
The city council had been pretty clear on this topic during their last meeting together – it was Jaxson’s job to find the money to get a decent-sized tank on the truck, longer hoses, and a ladder on top. This was why they were paying him the big bucks.
Well, that and the state insurance fund was requiring it. Hiring him full-time, that was, not upgrading their truck. If the City of Sawyer didn’t hire a full-time fire chief in this year’s budget cycle, the state’s insurance would start charging them a stiff penalty. The state had made it clear: Full-time staff meant faster response times, better equipped personnel, more training, and thus, less damage and injuries in the case of a fire.
Which meant that despite what James seemed to think, there had been roughly a zero percent chance of him being hired, not with the level of training that he had. The state insurance company would’ve been fit to be tied if the city had tried to hire him.
Even though James had been with the department for approximately a million years or so, he’d apparently done his level best to avoid every training session he could, and so after looking through the personnel records, Jaxson saw that even Moose and Levi, who’d both only been with the department for a handful of years, had more training than James had ever acquired.
Jaxson’s stomach rumbled, jerking him out of his thoughts and reminding him that he hadn’t bothered to feed it yet today. He thought back, trying to remember, and couldn’t recall eating yesterday either, although he may’ve popped a piece of toast into the toaster at some point. It was hard to remember if that was yesterday or the day before, though.
His stomach rumbled again, like a freight train coming through his office, and with a groan, Jaxson threw on his jacket. He’d go down to Betty’s Diner and eat something. Shut his stomach up.
It was a damn good thing he was taking a break from Sugar so he could screw his head on straight. Otherwise, he might be tempted to eat his way through a baker’s dozen of donuts instead of a proper meal, and even in his starved state, he knew that wasn’t healthy.
It sure sounded good, though.
Or maybe it was just the idea of seeing Sugar that sounded good. As he got into his SUV for a long overdue lunch break and headed over to the diner to eat, he had to admit – if only to himself – that the idea of seeing Sugar again made his heart lurch with happiness. Or maybe was causing him to have a heart attack. That could totally be it.
Didn’t matter. He’d loved last week way too damn much. He couldn’t allow himself to do it again.
“Hi Jaxson!” said Chloe, one of his favorite waitresses. “Head on back to your booth – it’s open. I’ll be by with a glass of Pepsi in a minute.” Her platinum blonde hair bobbed as she headed into the back to fetch his soda.
Well, he had to admit that there were perks to living in a small town. Like waitresses who memorized your favorite booth to sit at, and your favorite drink, and your favorite meal to eat.
He wasn’t sure what it said about him that he was so regular in his habits, though. Was he really that boring?
Before he could work himself up into a full-blown existential crisis, though, Chloe reappeared at his elbow, a glass of brown, carbonated liquid in her hand. She put it down on the booth table and put her hand on his shoulder. “Meatloaf and mashed potatoes?” she asked.
“Yes, please,” he mumbled. He was sure tired. He tried to remember if he’d slept well the night before, but gut instinct told him probably not.
She shifted around until she could look him square in the face. “Why Jaxson, when was the last time you ate? Or slept? Or shaved?” She put her hands on her hips and stared at him. He ran his hand over his jaw, scrubbing at it. It did feel a might bit
stubbly to him. When was the last time he’d showered or shaved? He stared blankly ahead, trying to remember, and…not.
“You look terrible,” she informed him bluntly.
“You should tell me what you really think,” Jaxson said dryly. “I’d hate for you to hold back on account of my tender feelings.”
She glared, not appreciating his humor one whit, and leaned against the side of the booth bench seat opposite him. “Is this because of that mill fire?” she asked. “Or the firing of James? Or something else?”
“Yes.”
“My oh my, you’re talkative today,” Chloe said with a small laugh. And then, like a true woman, her eyes narrowed even as a grin spread across her face. “The ‘something else’ is Sugar, isn’t it? I heard you two were going at it – you even spent the night at her house – and then…nothing. For a whole week. Something happen?”
“How do you know I spent the night at her house?” Jaxson retorted hotly. Damn small towns. He just couldn’t believe them. Didn’t people have something else to do, other than gossip about him?
“Your SUV. It’s bright green. No other Ford Explorer in town is that color. You might want to look at getting it painted if you want to go incognito.”
Jaxson grunted. Maybe he’d start walking everywhere like Sugar did. The idea was starting to hold more appeal by the moment.
His stomach rumbled loudly before he could think of something witty to snap back, or at least something appropriate. Witty might’ve been above his mental capacity just then.
“Let me go put in your order. I’ll be back.”
Chloe disappeared into the kitchen and seemingly just moments later, reappeared with homemade rolls, steam wafting up from them. She slid the small plate in front of him, along with some homemade jelly. “Eat,” she urged him. “I don’t know how long it’s been since you ate anything, but I’m gonna guess a minute or two.”