“Hey it’s me,” he called out as he entered the small bathroom.
“Eric?” Mia said, pulling the shower curtain aside just enough so she could see him. “Um, did we have plans?”
“No, I just missed you,” he said, as he removed his clothing and stepped in the shower with her, his arms immediately wrapping around her waist and pulling her to him.
“Wow, um, well… this is definitely a surprise,” she said nervously. The way Eric was behaving around her had her even more worried about what she was doing while she thought she was sleeping. As he dipped his head and started to kiss her neck, she felt his want for her growing, pressing hard against her body.
“God Mia, I’ve been thinking about you all day,” he groaned, his hands sliding over her slick wet skin while her mind raced with worry. The last memory she had of Eric was when he brought her home from his place and he was looking at her like she might be crazy…
“Wait, stop,” she said, pushing lightly on his chest so she could look in his face. “I’m just so tired tonight Eric. Do you think we could maybe talk? I want to talk about how things have been between us lately,” she said, trying not to let on that she had no idea what was actually going on. She wasn’t prepared for another round of ‘Has Mia Lost her Mind?’ and she didn’t want to alarm him over her memory loss, but she thought that if she could get him talking, maybe he’d fill in some of the blanks.
“Alright,” Eric said, smoothing his hand down the side of her face as he looked into her eyes. “You do look pretty worn out actually. Tell you what, I’ll rinse off and then make you a coffee. Have you eaten yet?”
“I have, there’s left overs in the fridge if you’re hungry. It’s just some pasta and sauce – nothing special.”
“Thanks,” he said giving her a quick kiss before stepping out of the shower and grabbing a towel to dry off. Eric walked naked through the flat to get some clothes out of Mia’s wardrobe. He always left a couple of things in there for when he stayed weekends.
Cursing the swollen wood, he heaved the door open, promising mentally for the millionth time that he was going to take that door off the hinges, and sand it down so it would stop jamming.
Grabbing a pair of tracksuit pants and a t-shirt from his small pile of clothes, he couldn’t help but smile to himself as his eyes drifted to the dress that Mia had been wearing when she’d seduced him on the chair at his house. Since then, he’d seen her almost every night – it was like she’d become his drug.
He padded barefoot out into the kitchen and set Mia’s espresso machine up. He had bought it for her for Christmas one year, but she didn’t use it often, claiming to have trouble frothing the milk properly.
She loved fresh coffee though, so whenever he was at her flat, he would always make her a cappuccino.
Mia could hear the sound of the coffee grinder from the bathroom while she towel dried her hair. Smiling to herself, despite feeling a little sad, she thought about how she was going to approach this evening without letting Eric know that she didn’t remember being with him again.
After putting on a pair of black lounging pants and a red cotton shirt, she stepped out in to the living area, just as Eric placed two mugs on the table.
“Hey, you feeling better after the shower?” he asked as he took a seat and spooned a teaspoon of raw sugar from the bowl on top of his coffee, watching as it slowly slipped down through the firm chocolate sprinkled froth.
Nodding, Mia sat across from him, tucking her leg underneath herself as she picked up her teaspoon, preparing to stir the chocolate sprinkle through. She didn’t add sugar to her cappuccinos as she felt the chocolate made it sweet enough.
“Thank you for this. I love your coffees,” she said as she took a sip.
“I made it a little stronger than normal. I thought you could do with the extra caffeine.”
“Definitely. Thank you,” she said, taking another sip.
“Did you have a hard day today? You look pretty wrecked.” Eric commented, noticing the dark circles under her eyes. She looked different today, she even felt different today when he’d held her. He was worried that she was working too hard again.
“I’ve had a hard couple of weeks actually. I don’t think I’m sleeping properly.”
“Are you still having strange dreams? They must have been really vivid if they made you think days had actually passed.”
Mia pressed her lips together in some sort of a smile as she listened to the explanation she’d unknowingly given him.
“No, no dreams. I don’t remember much from closing my eyes to waking up most days. Listen, I wanted to ask you how you feel about my change in behaviour lately – I mean, I know I’ve been different around you and that I worried you when I couldn’t remember spending time with you…” she ventured.
“Mia,” he said, his mouth pulling into a grin as he reached across the table and took her hand in his. “You know I have loved this past couple of weeks with you. I like the change between you and me. Things have been amazing. You’ve never been so…” he paused as he thought of the right word. “Free with yourself before. I feel like I’m falling in love with you all over again.
“My only worry though, is what’s going on between you and Louise. I mean, she’s your best friend and all of a sudden you aren’t really talking. Josh said she was upset last night and went home – what’s going on?” he asked.
“Nothing’s going on with Louise. I spent most of today with her actually. She’s just a bit worried about me – which is why I’m checking to see if you’re worried as well.”
“No Mia, everything is awesome on my end. I just don’t want to see you and Lou have a falling out. That’s all.”
“Never,” she smiled looking into her cup. “So um… what exactly is it that you like about me lately – what’s so different?”
Eric frowned for a moment, finding the question a little confronting – he was worried that if he answered too honestly she might get upset with him.
“Um… well, I like how you’re just…I don’t know – easy going?”
“Easy going?”
“Yeah, you know, like how you wanted to go to the beach last weekend and you actually wore a bikini, which as you know, I thought you looked totally hot in. See, I have your picture as my phone background from that day,” he said, turning on his screen and showing her a photo of herself, laying on the beach and smiling, wearing the purple string bikini she had never been brave enough to put on in public.
“Oh, that’s really nice. I’m flattered,” she smiled, trying to hide her upset over not remembering that either. Clearing her throat she got a hold of her emotions and continued the conversation. “So when you say I’ve been easy going, do you mean that you like that I’m more at ease with my body or that I’m just more easy going in general?”
“Uh – both I guess, I love that you’re so comfortable in your skin Mi, it’s very sexy. But it’s been good that you’re being a bit spontaneous too. You know? We’ve been hanging out and doing a lot more things than we normally would. I don’t know,” he said shrugging his shoulders and downing the last of his coffee. “Things are just different – they’re better though, I like it,” he told her, watching her face and noticing that she wasn’t looking as happy as he felt.
“Listen Mi, I love you no matter what. If you’re putting all this effort into our relationship because you’re worried about us, you don’t have to. I love the way things have been between us, but if seeing me every night is wearing you out then we can go back to just weekends if you want – I’ll miss you, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to change for me. I just… god, what am I even trying to say here…? I guess what I’m saying is – that I love the new you, I love how we’re connecting and I love spending more time with you. But, if it’s some sort of act, or if it’s making your life harder to spend so much time with me, then I don’t want it. I’d rather it if you were happy – not just me,” he said earnestly, becoming increasingly concerned about Mia t
he more she questioned him about their recent time together. Then it dawned on him. “Hang on – you don’t even remember spending time with me do you? That’s what all the questions are about aren’t they?” he said, his eyes wide and his mouth falling open as he looked at her, her eyes shining with tears that she refused to shed and the worry that she wasn’t willing to voice right now.
Blinking hard, Mia grabbed hold of his hands to reassure him. “No Eric, I promise I’m fine – I saw you last night right? Louise and Josh were there and I refused to sign to Louise right? I just went straight into your room,” she stated, borrowing the memory from Louise’s descriptions of recent events so as not to alarm him. “Listen, I’m just really very exhausted tonight, I need some sleep. That’s all.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“I’m sure.”
“Alright,” he said rising from his seat. “I’ll go home and let you rest. Call me tomorrow. I want to make sure you’re ok.”
“I will, thanks Eric,” she said as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head as a good bye.
“Um, you’re not pregnant or anything are you? I only ask because this sounds a lot like how Baz said his wife was last year before they found out.”
“No Eric, you know I’m on the pill.”
“Yeah, well, they don’t always work – maybe you should check. Just to be sure.”
“Alright, I’ll see you soon.”
“Alright, love you, rest well,” he said as he let himself out, leaving Mia still sitting at the table, her coffee only half finished, her energy depleted and her worries overflowing. Now she had something else to add to her list.
Chapter Eleven
Mia finally decided to go to her family doctor to raise her concerns after her chats with Louise and Eric. He administered a simple urine test for pregnancy, and it came back negative. While she was relieved that her problems weren’t caused by pregnancy, she still couldn’t ignore the possibility that she wasn’t actually sleeping when she thought she was and explained all of this to her GP.
The GP drew some blood for testing, and had also seen fit to give Mia a referral to a local psychiatrist to look into her problems further.
Mia’s doctor was a kind, soft-spoken man, who had been her GP for as long as she could remember. He felt that it was possible that as Mia had never sought counselling after her parents death then she may be suffering from a case of post-traumatic stress disorder. After hearing her talk about her blackouts and how her friends claimed that they saw her behaving differently, Dr Cartwright felt that it would be prudent to have her properly assessed.
“And Mia, you have let this go long enough. I would advise that you speak to someone sooner rather than later. I have given you a referral to a relatively new practice, they don’t have many patients yet so you should be able to get in straight away. I can call them now if you like?” he asked, looking at her over the top of his frameless glasses.
“That won’t be necessary, but thank you,” she said, taking the referral paper as he held it out to her. “I’ll call them myself. I’ll have to organise a time around work anyway.”
“See that you do Mia, your blood test result will be back within the week and I’d like it if you have already spoken to Doctor Butler before your next appointment.”
“Of course,” she said smiling with as much confidence as she could muster in an attempt to hide the real turmoil that was raging through her mind. A Psychiatrist!? To Mia, the fact that he referred her could mean only one thing – he had reached the same conclusion as she had.
A week later when Mia got the all clear from her blood test, she still hadn’t worked up the courage to call the psychiatric clinic and make an appointment. She was too frightened now to find out exactly what was wrong. Scared that it was something that would end up getting her locked away.
Dr Cartwright assured her that that wasn’t going to be the case and called Dr Butler himself, making an emergency appointment for Mia and telling her to drive straight there.
“Do I need to drive you myself to make sure you go this time?” he asked, his eyebrows set high on his head as he studied her demeanour.
“No… I’ll go. I promise.”
“Good, I’ll be checking up on you young lady,” he informed her before sending her on her way.
Mia drove straight to the clinic. It was on a corner block, situated not far from her home in a converted cream brick house. It only had two available doctors and Mia was to meet with Dr Evelyn Butler.
It was now almost a month after her first worrisome altercation with Eric. She had dreaded this moment and hated that she was told to take a seat in the green walled waiting room. She waited for what seemed like an age, staring at the words on her ereader, never actually absorbing any of them. She couldn’t seem to stop her knee from bouncing or her stomach from sloshing around as if it were a washing machine on the rinse cycle.
The receptionist, a small Chinese girl named Cherry, who, despite looking at Mia oddly when she entered, seemed to have the happiest of demeanours and kept smiling brightly at Mia every time she looked over at her nervously.
Eventually, a call came through and after making a few agreeable noises she stood up from her desk and walked over to Mia, informing her that it was time to see the doctor. “Evelyn will see you now,” she said leading Mia to a cream door with a brass plaque that read ‘Dr. Evelyn Butler’. Underneath her name were a bunch of letters that meant very little to Mia but obviously indicated her credentials.
Mia stood at the entrance, it was the first door on a wall with four more, and briefly wondered if she should simply turn around and go home. She was afraid that once she opened that door, her worst fears might become realised.
Taking a deep breath in an attempt to bolster her confidence, she forced her body to move.
“Mia is it?” the doctor asked from the chair she sat in, her head bowed as she focused on the file in front of her instead of the blonde that just entered her office.
Doctor Evelyn Butler was a middle aged woman with short dyed blonde hair, elegantly styled and set so it stayed firmly when she moved her head.
“Yes, Mia Smyth,” Mia confirmed as she moved through the door towards her.
“Come in, come in, take a seat,” she sing songed, closing the files in front of her and setting them aside before finally looking up at Mia. Her brow wrinkling slightly as their eyes met and an emotion that Mia couldn’t quite place passed across her face. “It is Mia, right?” she repeated.
“Yes, that’s my name,” Mia said as a matter of fact, watching Evelyn, as Evelyn watched her.
Taking a larger inhale of breath than was necessary, Evelyn cleared her throat and began speaking. “I’m afraid that something has come up and I won’t be able see you today. But my colleague is available and he is more than capable. Are you comfortable seeing him instead of me?” she offered.
“Um, yes, that’s fine, I just need to talk to someone, anyone really,” Mia stated, her voice slightly shaky, she had been nervous enough without having to go and meet another doctor on top of everything else.
“Excellent,” Evelyn said, picking up her phone and her tablet computer. “Hi, listen, I’m sending a new client over to you,” she said down the line, tapping away on her tablet as she spoke. “Yes, I’m giving you access to her file now… great. I’ll send her in,” she finished, hanging up and smiling brightly at Mia as she rose from her chair. “Follow me Mia, I’ll take you through the office to his consulting room,” she said, walking ahead to lead Mia through a side door that opened into an obviously joint office with two dark wood desks and other matching office furniture.
Mia didn’t get much of a look as she was whisked quickly to the door on the other side where Evelyn knocked twice and opened it, gesturing for Mia to walk through.
“Good luck, you’re in good hands,” Evelyn assured her before retreating into the office and closing the door behind her.
Evelyn’s colleague had his head bowed
also, causing Mia to wonder if this was some sort of intimidation tactic. He wasn’t using any tactics however - he was simply reading the file Evelyn had sent through to his tablet, trying to gather all the information they had on hand about this new client before they started. As he raised his head, he said, “Hello, I’m Cay–”
“Cayd Donnelly,” Mia finished for him, watching his surprised expression as his eyes met hers, instantly recognising her from their sexually charged meeting at the school. “I suppose you won’t be able to see me either,” she commented, deflated. Despite not wanting to face what was happening to her, she had hoped that now she was here, she could get to the bottom of her worries.
“No, I can’t. Not after I ah…”
“Asked me out,” she finished for him again.
He laughed nervously, his eyes dragging up the length of her body as the feelings he had around her when they first met ran rampant through his body. Clearing his throat he adjusted slightly in his chair. “I ah, probably shouldn’t have even done that,” he said. “It was rather unprofessional of me. Um, Did you know this was my practice?” he asked.
“No,” Mia said, walking over and plonking herself down on his couch. “I went to my GP and he referred me to Evelyn. I had no idea you were here too – believe me, there’s no way I’d want you – of all people, seeing me like this,” she blurted out, tears escaping from her eyes as her disappointment and frustration overflowed, leaking out of her eyes in a shining torrent under the bright ceiling lights.
Cayd’s chest tightened as he watched her, it pained him to see her so upset. “Please don’t cry Mia, we’ll work something out. I’ll find you someone to talk to,” he told her soothingly.
Mia’s crying turned into heaving sobs. “I’m s-sorry,” she wept. “It’s just that my life is such a mess and I was so nervous coming here. I was hoping for some answers and now…” she shook her head and reached out to accept the tissues that Cayd was offering her.
He wanted nothing more than to put his arms around her in comfort. He was used to seeing his patients in tears but seeing the beautiful Mia cry in front of him was more than he could bear. She wasn’t a patient - she was the object of his affection. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her since they first met at the school.
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