by Calinda B
"I am. About to shower and relax for the night." Melanie walked to the bathroom and looked at her reflection in the mirror. The person staring back at her questioned what the hell she was doing? Was getting out of the Marines the right decision? It had been a good career and she loved what she did. Did she get out only because of the promise she'd made to her parents? Yes and no.
After her initial four-year contract was over, she'd extended for an additional two years. All in, she'd been on active-duty for six years. Living life outside of the military was foreign to her, but she would make it work. Plus, the promise to her parents had always been in the back of her head. Returning home had always been the plan, she just didn't think Simon would still be here when she arrived.
"Melanie, are you listening to me?" Her mother's voice carried across the phone, bringing Melanie out of her musings.
Shit. No, she hadn't been listening. "Sorry mom, I drifted for a second."
"Hmph. Well, I said that your father and I are staying over in town tonight. We decided to go see some of the city tomorrow and have brunch with Albert and Evelyn," her mother said again.
This was a surprise. Plus, she'd just gotten home, and they were already staying out? "Okay, mom. Have fun." Her tone was less than enthusiastic. Not that her parents couldn't stay away from home, but she thought their only focus would be on her. She'd been gone for six years. Well, that wasn't quite true. They came to visit her at least every other month, if not more.
No matter where she was stationed for her job, they would hop on a plane and visit. Her annoyance with her parents wasn't justified and she knew it.
"I just hate to leave you in that house all by yourself, sweetheart."
Melanie could hear her father in the background, but couldn't make out what he was saying. Then she heard Evelyn Quinn laughing in the background. What the hell where they up to?
"It's okay. I'll be fine. See you tomorrow afternoon?" Well, this would give her more time to get used to being home.
"Yes, dear. See you tomorrow. G'night."
"Night, mom," she said as they both hung up the phone.
"Well, damn. Now what?"
After taking a hot shower, she put on a pair of shorts that were a size too small and t-shirt that had seen better days. Twisting her hair, she put it in a messy topknot. There was no reason to try and look cute for anyone. It was just her alone.
She grabbed up her ereader and made her way downstairs to the den. But first, she made a pitstop to the kitchen and grabbed a pint of ice cream. Leave it up to her mom to stock up on all her favorites as soon as she came home.
Given the circumstances, it felt good to be back home. Even if it was only temporary. With her contract complete with the military, she was now on terminal leave and had sixty days of vacation saved up. Once her vacation was over, she'd officially be a civilian again. The feeling hit her hard. The life she'd been living for the past six years was now over.
No more physical fitness training and zero dark thirty. She could sleep in and relax, maybe even wake up at the god-awful time of eight in the morning. Hell, she hadn't been able to do that for years. A smile came over her face. No more cammies and combat boots. Her hair could be let down and worn out, the thick strands flowing over her shoulders. Constantly wearing her hair in tight buns or a single French braid that she tucked in tight was no more.
Luckily, she'd taken her father's advice—it was actually more of a demand—and finished her degree while in the military. Not only had she gotten her bachelor's degree in finance, but had passed the exam for certified public accountant. After that, she'd gone back to school and gotten her master's in public accounting. Since she was able to use military benefits while serving, she still had most of her college fund available.
Not that she hadn't been welcome to use it, but she'd wanted to save it for a rainy day. Things were going to be okay. She had a good feeling about it. Within the next week, she'd start looking for a job, find an apartment close by—but not too close—and begin the second phase of her life.
The doorbell rang, jarring her away from her thoughts. Looking at the clock, she saw that it was just after ten. Who the hell is here this late?
Her parents, smart people that they were, had gotten a security system that allowed them to see who was at the door by tuning the television to a specific channel. When she saw the video of who was standing outside her door, her stomach dropped.
What was he doing here? He wasn't supposed to be here.
Shaky hands placed the pint of melting ice cream on the table. Looking down at herself, she grunted. Her head fell back, and she blew out a deep sight. "Of course, I would be dressed like this tonight. Going job Melanie."
The incessant ringing of the doorbell reverberated throughout the house. Although her feet began moving faster, she refused to concede that she was rushing because of him. She wanted him to stop pressing the doorbell.
After one more peek through the glass pane on the side of the door, she opened it to reveal the one person she hadn't expected.
"I'm tired of you running from me, Melanie. That shit ends tonight." Simon brushed past her and stormed into the house. His hand frantically loosening his bowtie as his long stride took him into the family room.
"Well, hell to you too, Simon. So good to see you. Come on in," she groused.
Closing and relocking the front door, she made her way back to the room. Something told her that it was a dangerous being alone with Simon tonight. On the other hand, the thought of being alone with Simon with no one else around caused butterflies to take flight in her stomach.
"Melanie, I know you're standing behind me fidgeting. It's been six long ass years since we've last seen each other and it's time we got some things cleared up. So, quit hiding and get your ass in here. I want to know why the fuck you left me," his deep voice called out to her.
Melanie took a deep breath. Time to face the music.
4
Simon's eyes tracked Melanie as she took her sweet time walking into the room. Sprawled on the couch, his long legs stretched out in front of him, he held in his frustration with her. As he was on stage for one of the biggest moments of his life, he looked out into the crowd looking for her. But was she there? No.
She'd ran. Again. This time she didn't give him the courtesy of saying goodbye. Even after he'd asked her to stay. To wait for him. She'd left him again.
Rubbing a large hand down his face, he looked up at her as she walked to the chair across from him and sat down. Her smooth brown legs teased him. Growing up, he'd seen her bare legs plenty of times, but that was when he had no real clue about what the sight of her beautiful skin could do to a man.
Damn, why did this have to be so hard?
"Why are you so far away," he asked. Watching her fidget and look everywhere else but at him, raised his ire once again. This wasn't like him. He never got like this with Melanie. She was the one person who'd always calmed him. Just her smile could bring him out of a shitty mood. This thing between them, whatever it was, had taken a toll on their relationship.
After a few seconds of biting her bottom lip, she responded. "I thought it best to sit over here while we talk,"
He caught a glimpse of her white teeth as she bit her plump bottom lip. His cock thickened within his pants. This isn't what he came over for, but now that he was here, and she was in front of him, it was the only thing he could think of.
Over the years, he'd visited this room so many times. This house was like a second home for him and his family. He and his brother had spent so much time here over the years, he could almost recite every scratch or dent or nick of furniture within this house. Seeing Melanie in this home again after so many years, he couldn't believe she was real.
It had taken so much for him to let her have space. Through the bodyguard he and his father had assigned to her, he'd gotten weekly updates letting him know she was doing well. Most of her time was spent working, hanging with her girlfriends, or she stayed at h
ome, having quiet time by herself on the weekends. It wasn't that he was trying to be creepy, but he needed to make sure she was okay. That she was okay. Happy. Living Life.
What no one knew, or could have guessed, was every time one of those reports came back telling him she was doing fine all on her own, his heartache grew just a bit more. She'd left, joined the military and simply left her old life behind. Not all of it though. Only the parts involving him.
He'd drown himself in partying, liquor and women who meant nothing to him. With every drink and condom used, he tried to force her out of his memory. Forget all the things about her he loved. His father and brother would shake their heads at him and tell him to get his shit together. That what he was doing wasn't going to make her come back any sooner.
They didn't know what the hell they were talking about, but he'd slow down for a few weeks, trying to do better. Then he'd get another report and it would send him into a spiral. Until eventually, the women all blurred into the same person. Empty vessels who were there when he needed release, but he couldn't recall the next day.
There'd been quite a few occasions when he'd called out Melanie's name when finding release with these nameless women. That was some fucked up shit and he knew it. Luckily, they'd been willing to accept a diamond necklace or a nice stack of cash "to go shopping" for his loose tongue.
Melanie. His Melanie.
She'd haunted his dreams for six years. Memories of their time together filled his days. Regret about how much time they've wasted would hit him in the gut without warning. He released a deep breath and looked over at her again. She had no clue how much he wanted to bend her over and take her right here in the fucking room.
"Why haven't you contacted me in six years?" The question came out much harsher than he'd wanted it to, but his patience was wearing thin.
Hazel brown eyes looked at him in surprise when he spoke. For a few seconds, she stared at him. Her lips moving in a pantomime of speaking, but no words came out.
"After everything, you just left and never looked back. Why?" His voice was thick with emotion—anger being most prominent—but he was sure she could hear the hurt as well.
"Simon..." she began, but then stopped. Shaking her head, she splayed her hands out in front of her and stared at her palms. As if the answers she looked for could be found there.
"I'm waiting."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I want the truth. Was what I did at the airport so bad that you'd refused to speak to me for years? Six years, Melanie. Never answered a letter. Never responded to an email. You told my parents not to bring me to your graduation in Parris Island, South Carolina. Why Melanie? I think I deserve an answer."
To his dread, tears began falling from her eyes as she sat in front of him, listening to him pour out his hurt to her. He was never this weak and he sure as hell didn't like being this way with her. She alone had the power to rip him apart and he didn't like that shit one bit. The wet streaks of tears cascading down her face almost broke him. But he refused to move and go comfort her. He needed answers and he wasn't moving from this spot until he got them.
"I'm waiting..."
"You never saw me," she blurted out. "Why would it matter if I never spoke with you again after I left? I loved you and you treated me as if I didn't matter," she yelled, bursting up out of the seat.
Simon wisely kept his mouth shut. It seemed there was a lot she had to get off her chest. If this would help them get to the next stage, then he'd give her the floor to say whatever she needed.
"For years I waited for you to see me. To stop going after those girls that I knew meant nothing to you. Every day, I was the one with you. Yours was the first voice I heard in the morning and usually the last one to tell me goodnight before I went to bed. You were everything to me," she said in a low tone.
Looking over at him, her eyes glistened with more tears, but he refused to react.
"Everything I was, everything I knew, revolved around you. From the time I was four years old, all my eyes could see were you. And not once, did you ever look at me the same. So, I ask again. Why would it matter if I talked to you or not? You never saw me in the first place," she finished with a shrug of her shoulders.
Did she really think that bullshit? How blind was she?
Standing up, he walked over to her. Lifting her chin with his finger, he waited until her gaze met his. And then he smiled.
"Melanie, I can't believe you've been holding all this in for so long. Silly girl." Releasing her chin, he took a step back from her put his hands in his pockets. If he touched her, he'd never get this out.
"Don't call me names," she retorted, crossing her arms over her chest.
The motion caused her breasts to raise and swell and his mouth watered at the prospect of getting his lips around one of them. He could only picture her nipples, but knew they'd be at least a few shades darker than her beautiful brown skin.
"I'm not calling you names," he said with a shake of his head. "I'm stating a fact. Tell me something, did you know I asked our parents for permission to marry you?"
Her eyes went wide, and she gasped.
"I did. When you'd left for basic training. I knew, once you graduated, I'd ask you to marry me. Of course, we'd wait until you were a few years older and I'd at least gained by bachelor's degree. It was still important for you to experience life without me hovering. I wanted that for you. But I also wanted you to know that you were mine. That you could see how much I wanted you. That when I saw my future, I saw you by my side."
She seemed at a loss for words, which made him chuckle. Melanie was never at a loss for words, even when she didn't always have all the facts. Once she had a thought in her head, she'd go on forever, never letting another person interrupt.
"That's not true," she tried to counter in a feeble voice.
"Oh yes, it is," he turned his cold gaze to her.
She uncrossed her arms and rested them by her side. "But all those other girls. You never once told me how you felt."
"I didn't think I needed to!" At her flinch, he realized just how his words had come across. In all the years he'd known Melanie, raising his voice was not something he did. Ever. He needed to get the hell out of here. Coming here was a mistake, he knew it seconds after he'd walked through the door.
"Well, you thought wrong," she yelled at him. Her voice traveling throughout the quiet house. "Why are we doing this, Simon? We don't yell at each other." Taking a deep breath, she looked at him with a penetrating gaze. "You've changed."
He wanted to shield himself from her, but knew he was no longer willing to hide. Especially not from her. "No, I haven't. I don't think you ever took the time to know the real me. I thought you did. We were both so young."
"It was only six years ago."
Laughing under his breath, he shook his head and looked over at her. "But it seems like a lifetime ago. We were both so young and misguided. We had no clue how to handle the feelings we had for each other." No, he hadn't changed. This was who he was, only a little older and a lot more cynical.
He'd always been this way, but he'd never felt the need to show this side of himself to her. For some strange reason, he thought she knew him better than he knew himself and acted accordingly. Now he was finding out she didn't know him at all.
"I'm sorry," her soft voice carried across the room.
"For what, exactly?"
"Never writing you back. I was hurt. I let the hurt fester into something ugly. It changed the way I remembered our time together. In my mind, all those years of hanging out, family vacations, and Sunday barbeques became something twisted and one-sided. I felt stupid and naïve. It never occurred to me that you might be hurting."
Don't do it, Simon. Take the gift she's giving you. Don't turn this into something ugly.
"I wasn't hurt. I was pissed. Pissed that I'd let you get under my skin. It took me a few months to realize what was happening, but once I did, I felt like a fool. If I had known thi
ngs would turn out the way they had, I would have never asked your parents for permission to marry you. You weren't ready for me, Melanie and I had to let you go. It was for the best."
Disgusted with himself and the words spewing from his mouth, he forced himself to look at her. He wanted to see if his words hit the target. When he saw that they had, he smirked. Maybe she'd feel a little of what he'd felt when she'd left him and never looked back. Betrayed.
Simon knew, even with the sting of their words floating between them, he still loved her.
Her stance softened, and she opened her mouth several times, as if rethinking what she wanted to say to him. He braced himself for what was coming next.
"Maybe I wasn't ready for you six years ago, but I wanted to be. I wanted to be the only person you thought about. If crying myself to sleep at night was an Olympic sport, I would have won gold. The only thing that saved me was I needed my energy for the next grueling day of running, marching, cleaning my rifle, and all the other fun things in basic training that make you into a different person than when you first arrived."
Releasing a deep sigh, he knew the fight had left him. The words were ripped from his throat before he had time to think about what he was saying. "Why didn't you write? I waited for a letter every day. And it never came. Do you know how that feels? To go from talking to you every day of my life from the time I was five, to absolutely nothing. Pure radio silence. Even if I hadn't felt the way I did for you, we were friends. Why do that to a friend?"
"I don't know...I think—"
Shutting down, he cut her off. Enough of this shit. This wasn't why he came here. "Forget it. None of it matters anymore."
He began making his way to the door. This was a mistake. Raw feelings of need, anger, frustration, and desire for the woman standing in front of him were swirling around inside of him. Was he still angry with her for leaving him? Not really. But understanding why she'd done it was something he'd needed her to say. And now she had.