by Skylar Dawn
"Where do you want to go?" He interrupted my reverie.
"To be honest, I'm not hungry yet," because if I ate anything I would end up feeling sick out of nervousness.
"I have an idea," Noah winked and started the car.
#
We arrived in a hipster game room with versions of giant games scattered everywhere. I ran in the direction of one of them that luckily was still empty and I pulled Noah by the arm.
“Giant jenga!”
He laughed and ran his arm around my waist, "I haven't played that in fifteen years."
"It's a sign you will lose," I took the first piece.
"Not at all!"
Noah bent down and took out a very difficult piece at the left base of the tower. The whole thing shivered a couple of times but didn't fell when he put the piece on top. He did a small victory dance and I found it super cute. I didn't know he was competitive. I was too, but on the other hand I didn't want to to mess with hard pieces when I could avoid knocking down the tower balancing what was right in front of me. A few rounds ahead, he decided to move another piece on the base.
"You're done Emma Woods," he said like a cartoon super-villain.
I was able to pull out one more piece, but by the time I managed to balance the tower, the whole thing was leaning over me and it was about to fall right on my foot. Noah pulled me closer to him to stay away from the pieces that sprawled all over the place. My body glued on his and in the midst of laughter, silence took over. It was a real date. Our mouths were half an inch away from each other and our gazes met. But I didn't feel ready to kiss him right now. I didn't even know if I should actually do that.
"Don't you want something to drink at the bar?" I put my hand on his chest and took a step back.
Noah stroked his hair and smiled, his face still close to mine.
"Let's go. And I said I would win."
"You cheated." I faked irritation.
"It's tactics."
I leaned against the counter and called the bartender, turning my attention to Noah. "What do you want?"
"Water," he chuckled, "I have to take us back home. I'll be right back."
He went out looking for a bathroom and I was in charge of sipping my Margarita. A black-haired guy with a motorcycle jacket and alcohol breath leaned right next to me.
"Don't I know you from somewhere?"
Oh really? In the twentieth century he had the guts to approach me with such a cheap line?! Of course he didn't know me from anywhere, and just because I was in Vegas it didn't mean I was easy, or looking for company. Noah was on the way to the bathroom, not even close to the door and some jerk was after me already. It was a curse. I should have known my jerk-o-meter was working in turbo mode in this town.
"I'm on a date," I signaled him to run away, but he didn't move an inch.
"No, but I do know you from somewhere."
"I've never seen you."
Noah came back to my side and had a serious expression.
"Is everything all right, Emma?"
"Yes, it's this crazy guy who's obsessed with me. He thinks he knows-"
"Emma, that's it!" He stretched his finger like someone who had a revelation. "I watch your vlog. And aren't you The Naked Baker?"
Noah's mouth turned into a line and his expression became serious.
"I am."
"Guys, look," the guy gestured to a crowd at the far end of the bar. "It's Emma and The Naked Baker, from the internet."
Noah bent down and whispered in my ear.
"Do you want to leave?"
I nodded my head in agreement. He held my arm and I waited for the cue to leave."
"Oh, you're leaving?"
"Yes, we gotta go." I said while Noah guided me away in slow steps.
"Hey, are you two together?"
The words vanished from my mouth. I didn't know what to say and I thought I should keep quiet. Noah turned to the guy and answered what I didn't want to hear.
“We’re friends.”
Noah's phrase was echoing in my mind the rest of the night. If we were just friends, it wasn't a date. Also what was I expecting? I had never specified the nature of our not-a-date in the first place, but something inside me wished he had replied that we were together. But why did it seem like he felt something? Why did he pull me so close to him in that stupid game? I didn't want to believe that I had let myself get involved so easily to the point of noticing what wasn't event there. It was better to nail that in my head and don’t forget it. Friends, just friends. I should be focusing on my plan and not on spending time going out on fake dates. And I couldn't forget that Jesse still existed.
"You're very quiet."
Noah stopped by the Bellagio and waited for my answer. I shook my head and looked down at the windshield, putting my hands on my lap.
"It's nothing," I turned my neck to look at him, "It's still early. Don't you want to see the fountain?"
He opened a smile and parked the car in the first space that crossed our path.
"Let's go. It's about to begin." He laughed with warm eyes.“
“Is that Uptown Funk?" I asked when I heard the first notes of a familiar song.
"It seems so," Noah grabbed my hand and led me to the main driveway, "come with me, Emma."
When we found a place in the small crowd that formed, he stood right behind me and put his hands on my waist. A shiver ran through my skin. I was so nervous it took me almost a minute to actually pay attention to the water and the lights that drew shapes to the rhythm of the music.
I couldn't help believing that it was indeed a date, because he was so close to me that I couldn't think straight. I was fantasizing about a hug, a kiss, a touch that lasted a little longer. I know it was Noah, and since now I had admitted to myself that I was feeling something for him, my head was in this crazy spiral of anxiety and insecurity that I didn't even know if it was pertinent. And carried by the sound, I let the wind drive my waist in the rhythm of the melody and his hands warm my soul.
Too bad it ended so fast, I would have stayed there for hours. And the return home was even faster. When I came to my senses he had already parked at the door of our block and it was time to go home. We walked side by side across the lawn and climbed the stairs in slow motion. I didn't want him to go home, I didn't want to go back to reality where I would analyze every second of everything that had happened today and try to label in some way until my heart was comfortable, because nothing happened.
When my fingers touched the doorknob of my apartment, Noah motioned for me to wait. I took a step toward him, but he stepped back and went into his apartment.
"I have something for you." His voice was soft and his eyes flickered. "Wait a second."
Noah disappeared for a moment and came back with a pink box.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Red Velvet Cheesecake," Noah said, looking a little nervous, "I'm still trying to figure out your favorite."
"Thank you," I said in a gentle voice. And before I could do anything that would extrapolate all common sense and break all the barriers, I went into my house.
My mind was dizzy, and I thanked the fact that Mia was already asleep when I walked in. I did my whole night routine without paying attention to anything and let my body sink in the hot tub. It was only when my skin was already reddened that I left and sank under my blanket. Ham asked to climb onto the bed and sank his muzzle into the pillow beside me. I don't know if it was my margarita, the music or Noah's warmth, but my breathing calmed, and contrary to what I expected, I fell asleep.
#
The next morning I was sure Mia was going to ask all the details of the night before, but part of my mind couldn't explain what had been fantasy and what had happened. If I had drunk all the margaritas in Vegas it would be easier, because at least I would have a plausible justification for the lack of coherence in my thoughts. I was at a point of no return, and it frightened me that I didn't know how to react in front of Noah from now on.
<
br /> The day was gray, so I thought I'd better wear something warmer to go to work. I stepped across the room without making a sound, to avoid waking Mia up, who was still lost in her dreams. I noticed the cheesecake box was still on the kitchen counter, so I put it under my arm and went out the door, before the inquisition had a chance to start. With luck Noah would still be sleeping, or would have left for his morning jog, so I wouldn't have to improvise a reaction when I saw him. I needed time to understand last night.
I managed to get on the bus without scares. I took out my ipod and put my headphones on, watching the stormy day and trying not to think about anything, but it was useless. In the first three chords of a song my thoughts flew to where I wanted to be, in Noah's arms, feeling that warmth again, even for a second. It was all I needed, a crush to ruin my whole focus.
If my mother was here, she would say that I went back to high school, where I cultivated at least a couple of these a year, and my grades replied with a note saying I was fucked. Well, first of all she'd think it was absurd for me to come to Vegas if she knew the real reason, and if it was up to me she'd never know. I could manage to get by with my story about changing my atmosphere, but the revenge part and showing my private parts would be enough reason for her to come here and pull me by my hair.
I liked to feel in love. Once Mia had told me that my passion was the passion itself, not the guys I was dating. At the time she was right, and although I would very much like to say that this was the case now, with Noah I felt everything different, stronger. The whole problem is that if I changed my focus, everyone who followed me on the internet would crucify me, and all this effort to drink green stuff, the color of poop or gray (the worst of them), would have gone downhill. Of course I was enjoying being two sizes down, and I still allowed myself some treats sometimes (after having to sweat for four hundred hours on the treadmill), but if it wasn't for the exotic dancer thing, I don't know if I was going to keep all this routine of exercise and diet.
I got off the bus and turned the street of the Caffé with an odd feeling. A premonition kinda thing, sixth sense, that raises the hair on the back of your and you know that shit is about to hit the fan. I looked both ways and saw nothing strange, so I went into Lou's like every day and got today's detox juice that he had left ready for me (today was purple).
I took Noah's cheesecake out of the box and put it with the pies of the day so it wouldn’t spoil. I was going to eat a piece in the middle of the morning after convincing Lou that I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday, and bargain a little more by telling everything that had happened last night.
Lou came out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee twice the size of my juice and I felt envy. I would give my kingdom for a warm coffee on this cloudy day.
"Good morning girl," Lou kissed my forehead, "you're early today. Did you fell off of bed?"
"No," I replied, feigning impatience, "I thought you'd like to know that I went out with Noah yesterday."
Lou's eyes widened and he put a hand on his mouth, startled. I took the cue to cut a slice of cheesecake and sat on one of the stools behind the counter.
"It was not a date," I said, "at least I don't think it was."
“Let me be the judge of that.” He shook his head as if he was sure he always had the perfect diagnosis.
I told him about the near-kiss in the game and the little mess at the bar. Especially the 'just friends' part of it. That was bothering me. Lou frowned and looked up for a few moments, trying to simulate the situation inside his head.
"Of course he was going to say that." Lou concluded. "A crazy guy comes out of nowhere and asks a question like that in the middle of the bar? That's why I don't trust this business of putting my face on the internet, you never know who's watching on the other side."
"Whatever," I retorted, "but nothing happened between the two of us."
"It got a little messy, but he behaved like a boyfriend most of the time."
"I don't know Lou, let's assume that in fact he feels something for me, don't you think getting involved with him can get in the way of my plans?"
Lou crossed his arms over his chest.
"You must be tired of hearing this, sweetheart, and I have to confess that although I find your revenge idea amusing, it doesn't make any sense. Let's get the object of the plan, Brett. Unless you feel something for this guy and you want to look good to rub it in his face, this idea is a waste of time. And let me tell you, if you actually feel anything for him, the plan goes down the drain because he's going to leave you again faster than before."
"Not just that, there are also the women of the world."
"You mean those who follow you online right? It's not a mosquito compared to the world population, and they would understand if a handsome guy has feelings for you. And you love him. And since when do you care about the opinion of people you don't even know?"
I laughed out loud.
"Since always."
I went into the office to do my photo upload routine for all social networks on the planet. Of course I was tired of hearing my plan was crazy, but what I didn't want to admit to anyone is that a lot of it was for me. I wanted to feel beautiful and desired at least once, and I always acted like that, on impulse. All or nothing. Either I became a Sports Illustrated model or I would be the chubby Emma, because I had never been able to find my middle ground, and that's where my mistake was. From an early age, I always had crazy reasons to do everything, even when I took saxophone lessons when I was twelve. I'd read in a magazine that woodwind instruments would get us lips like Angelina Jolie, so I annoyed my parents until they paid for lessons. Shortly after I would get tired of it and change my obsession. This time it had to be different, I had to finish something I started. I owed it to myself.
"Emma?" Lou stuck his head through the crack of the door, interrupting my reverie. "Which bakery sent us that cheesecake you were eating? It's DI-VI-NE! So much so, it's gone. Everybody ordered! I'll add more to our shopping list."
"Hey, that was mine!" I snapped. "Noah baked for me."
Lou opened his mouth in surprise.
"Your Noah? Are you saying your Noah baked the cheesecake?!"
"Yes!" I grunted, "and I only ate a slice!"
"Why didn't you say he cooked so well!" Lou squealed. "It's wonderful!"
"I told you he cooked, and you knew he worked in the kitchen ..." I sighed.
"I thought it was cooking to live, not to charm. Does he take the orders?"
"I don't know, but I know he's still unemployed. The money from our videos is not that good."
Lou squirmed all over in excitement.
"I need this man in my kitchen! It's time for this Caffé to have a chef. You don't mind, do you?"
I rolled my eyes. Of course it didn't bother me. In fact, it would be good to spend more time with him. Too bad he was going to cook dressed, if he accepted the offer, of course. And having him so close could help me figure out what the hell was yesterday's date. On the other hand, seeing Noah every day had the potential to make my crush on him even stronger. At that moment I decided not to care and to think about how he would be happy to have his recipes appreciated by more people, not only by me, and of course, he would be perfect for the Caffé.
I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Noah, he answered on the second time it rang.
"Can you come over to the Caffé today? Lou has a proposal for you."
"Of course." From the way he picked it up, I knew he had smiled, I needed to know if it was because of me, or because of the proposal. I hung up and put my cell phone back on the counter. I only had time to get the orders of a couple of people and my cell phone buzzed again. I answered without paying attention to the caller ID and I was not prepared for the voice on the other end of the line.
"Hi, muppet." Brett's voice echoed on the other side, creeping up the hair of my arms in great terror. I decided I'd better play his game and see where it would go.
"Brett. What do you want? "
&
nbsp; "Why the hostility muppet, I was thinking of you."
"Spit it out." My voice came out in impatient tone.
"I miss you Emma, I want to see you."
I gave a hysterical laugh.
"You miss me? Since when you miss anyone, Brett?! It's too early for you to be this drunk and after someone who wants to end up in your bed."
"Hey," he lowered voice and lost the sarcasm he always had, "Emma I'm serious. This is news for me too, but I've been thinking about you a lot and want to see you."
"Right," I laughed without the slightest humor.
"Don't do that, please, I think..." He stopped the sentence in the middle. "No, I want to talk to you in person. I'll stop by your house."
"It's going to be difficult, I'm not in town."
Brett sighed on the other end of the line.
"And when do you come back?"
"I will not be coming back Brett," I said, "I moved."
"Moved?" He was startled. "Moved where?"
"Las Vegas."
And then I did something I'd never done before and hung up phone on his face. He was different, unarmed. Usually he was always full of sarcasm, full of himself. Not even on his best day he would say he was missed someone, let alone saying something like that to me. The fact that I didn't went after him made him realize that I wasn't a doormat that he could use and abuse whenever he wanted to. I concluded that this period in Vegas, in fact, was very good for me. And of course after that my cell phone buzzed like crazy, and I knew it was him, but I thought I'd better focus on my tasks and wait for Noah to arrive.
I served people on auto pilot, thinking about Brett's call and how much he affected me even though I was miles away. One phone call and I was already wondering whether he had actually changed. At least now he knew I was far away and that if he wanted something with me, he'd have to work a lot harder. Not that I wanted anything to do with him that wasn't related to revenge, but since I didn't established how I was going to do that, it was better to ignore his advances. Especially now with my feelings for Noah, I had to keep Brett in the background, regardless of how many times my cell buzzed in the meantime (at least twenty).