“You should hold back such statements in my presence,” A350 admonishes her strictly. She somehow seems offended. Nevertheless, I am glad that we can now talk to each other openly. Although we do not always agree, she tries to understand me at least.
Just as we reach the cell, Zoe lets go of my hand and looks expectantly at A350.
A350 looks at me with a grin, “Well...”
Confused, I furl my brow. “I do not know the code.”
Amused, she raises her eyebrows. “You think I’m stupid? I know that this is not the first time you’ve been here. Now give me the code already.”
How does she know? I cleared all the footage. Guiltily I type 2105 into the keypad. The door opens with a click.
Maggie is already expectantly in front of it. But when she sees A350, she tenses up in fright. She clasps her hands over her head. “Go away!” She hisses anxiously.
“Mama, she helped us,” Zoe tried to calm her down as she slowly walked toward Maggie. But Maggie is beside herself and bares her teeth in our direction like a wild animal. A growl penetrates from her throat, almost like an animal. I felt that she was animal-like at our first meeting, but yesterday she behaved normal. Like a human.
Even Zoe acts shocked by her mother’s behavior. “Shh...” she whispers and holding her arms outstretched as though she were trying to nurture a wild animal. “All is well. I promise.”
Bobbing, Maggie jumps forward and pulls her daughter in her arms, but without taking her eyes off A350. Zoe doesn’t know she’s a hostage.
“Not so hard,” Zoe asks, but Maggie ignores her. Her eyes are fixed on A350. It is a silent threat.
“You’re hurting me,” Zoe continues to whine and struggles to free herself from her mother’s grip, but the more she resists, the stronger Maggie’s embrace becomes.
“Z318, I command you to release your daughter,” A350 orders in an authoritarian tone, whereupon Maggie’s eyes narrow to tiny slits. “You have no authority to be giving me orders,” she hisses back.
“Mama!” Zoe screams. Her cry is like a slap in the face and abruptly Maggie’s grip loosens. “I did not want to do that,” she sobs, shaking her head.
“It’s okay, everything is good,” Zoe promises and takes her mother in her arms, much gentler this time. This time Maggie is tucked against Zoe’s shoulder. I see how their eyes are closed and Maggie deeply breathes in Zoe’s scent.
That is the moment when A350 touches my hand and closes hers around it. “This is how the relationship between mother and daughter should be,” she whispers softly, more to herself than to me.
Confused, I look at them. Tears glisten in Maggie’s eyes. “A mother loves her child without any ifs, ands, or buts. She would recognize her child among thousands, even without having seen it once. A mother knows.”
Does she speak of her own children? Does she know who they are? Affectionately she strokes her hand over my skin. Is she trying to tell me something? Is she my mother?
Thoughtfully, I look at her. I like A350, but would I like her as much if she were my mother? A mother who was never there for me? A mother who never comforted me when I was sad? Suddenly the room appears much too small for my emotions. In addition, I am missing the presence of an actual person: Finn. He should be here. He should be with his mother, who has never ceased to love him and will always love him, even if his memory never returns.
As I leave the elevator in the Legion Commanders’ sphere, I’m relieved to see Clyde in front of the door to my room. Even though I spent time with him in recent days, I never really had a chance to speak with him. He smiles at me, but when I stand in front of him, his expression changes to concern.
“Is everything okay? You look depressed.”
As so often is the case, I am impressed by his sense. Was it Zoe’s influence on him, or has he always been sensitive and couldn’t show it?
I would love to tell him about the mutants, but I am not allowed to speak of them.
I think of A350 and my fear that she could be my mother, but I do not want to talk about it. Talking about it would be to accept the idea and I cannot do that.
Finn immediately comes to mind. Finn kisses me and then acts frantically when he sees his mother. I was so sure that in that moment he remembered.
“It’s because of Finn,” I confess to Clyde. “I think he remembers, but he denies it.”
“I understand.”
I look blankly at him.
“If he remembers, the Legion will kill him.”
“But I’m not the Legion. He could tell me. Or does he not trust me?”
“This has nothing to do with trust. If you knew that he remembers, you would behave differently around him. There is nothing you could do about that. It would be quite natural.”
I frown. Would I really act differently around Finn if he remembered? It would be easier for me because I could assess him better. I would know what to say to him. But the new Finn, however, surprises me anew every day. At times I feel closer to him than ever before. At the same time he understands me better than the old Finn did, or at least he pretends. Maybe Clyde is right. A350 would notice. But would she betray him?
17. MATING FIGHTS
I stand next to A350 and look down upon the spectators that have filled the arena. The murmur and excitement is unusually palpable. Previously this was never the case. Normally, residents of the safety zone were always silent because they had nothing to say to each other, but that seems to have changed in the meantime. Although we are still far from the roaring atmosphere of the rebels on such a day, at least people are talking to each other.
Mating fights are one of the few traditions of the Legion. We do not celebrate feasts as did the people of old Earth. We have no seasons, though they would be welcome. The only celebrations we have are the mating fights and the farewell ceremony. Not even the birth of a new generation of residents is a cause for celebration. For the first few years of their life, no one knows they exist, and then one day they are just there.
For the first three days, I do nothing more than watch the other fights with the other Legion Commanders and try to learn from the mistakes of others. As a commander, I placed second in my generation. Only A566 ranks above me. He is number one.
The first day is devoted to D-Class fights. Fourth and fifth generation residents partake in these battles. Usually their fights do not take long since their fighting quality is not exactly the best. However, the D-Class is the largest group since fifty percent of each generation becomes a D-Class resident.
As one of the oldest Legion Commanders, A233 opens up the mating battles. She stands at the edge of the grandstand before the microphones.
“Welcome to the opening of the mating season!”
This is followed by a round of applause, although subdued; I can still see some eyes in the audience shine with anticipation. The residents of the safety zone seem to love the mating fights and to deprive them of this would be wrong.
A233 continues, a smile on her lips. “As you already know, this year, not only will the men fight, but the women as well, in order to achieve a more distinct pairing result. In addition, after each group, the matches will be announced. It is the first time in the history of the Legion that we will allow everyone to know who they are paired with. It is a step back to humanity.
The arena is silent. No applause. The people are confused. Previously any contact beyond work was prohibited. Therefore, they do not know how to respond to A233’s words. I rise from my seat so that everyone can see me, and begin to clap. The sound of my hands against each other creates a resounding echo through the silent arena. A350, next to me, also stands and joins in my applause. The other Legion Commanders follow my example. Spurred on by our model, residents near us begin to stand and clap until finally the entire arena stands and applauds. I feel intoxicated. It’s a great feeling to stand here between people whom the rebels accuse to be like robots and celebrate their humanity. None of us are cold or unemotional. We have fee
lings like everyone else. We are people.
The mating battles begin with the first group of the fifth generation D-Class residents. The fight takes just a minute and the male fighter emerges as the winner, not because he was a good worker, but only because he was better than his female opponent. That’s the kind of fights the D-Class have: Short, fast, and without any surprises.
The next pairing is Asha and a boy named D587. Asha’s face is grim and determined. The boy looks into her icy eyes and must gather his courage. Every fiber of her body is aligned for victory. They both stand at the starting mark.
“Three, two, one... Fight!” The computer voice announces. Asha’s laser beam shoots immediately and hits her opponent. Before he is even aware of what has happened, the battle is over. Asha has won.
It takes a few seconds for the audience to realize it as well and then the applause erupts. I feel pride for Asha’s strong will, but also for myself because I helped turn her into the strong woman who stands fearlessly before us today.
The computer announces the next fight’s opponents. “D523 versus D577.”
It feels as though my heart will stop. For a moment the blood drains from my face and everything blurs before my eyes. Zoe and Finn must fight each other right now? Is this really a coincidence or is the Legion playing a mean game? Horrified, I look to A350, but she just shrugs apologetically. Apparently she knew nothing about it. Most likely they will not be paired with each other, but with someone else from their group. But it is certain that one of the two will retire after this fight. It is cruel to make siblings fight against each other. Worse, under normal circumstances, Finn would refuse to harm his little sister. But he does not remember, or at least is pretending not to. I do not believe him; I do not believe he has forgotten everything. His actions have too often proved the contrary.
Both take their starting positions.
“Three, two, one... Fight!”
The battle is on and no shot is fired, so this will definitely last longer than Asha’s battle. Instead, they look at each other. They circle each other like lions and tigers do before they go at each other. The distance between them is much too large to guarantee a hit.
Both have raised their right wrists and their lasers aimed at each other. Finn fires. His lips are pressed together. Zoe evades it, but while evading, Finn fires again, forcing Zoe further back. Finn fires one shot after another, giving Zoe no choice but to flee as though she were an antelope against a lion. It is clear that Finn has the upper hand. While Zoe is not necessarily the fastest runner, Finn is also not the best shot. However, he’s not nearly as bad as it seems. None of his shots are dangerous. Whenever Zoe slows down, it seems as though Finn is at his most inaccurate. His shots hit near her feet or the wall beside her head. In addition, his other shots are in the chest area, so all Zoe has to do is duck to avoid them. It’s almost as though he is giving her a chance. Neither shows the same kind of ambition that was present in Asha. Slowly Zoe reaches her point of exhaustion. She breathes harder and harder and he steps are slower. Finn, who has done little more than to shoot at his sister, lowers his laser arm. While he was full of energy in our training, it seems as though he is completely indifferent as to whether he wins or loses now. Zoe gasps for air and falls to the ground. She does not even have the power to stretch her arms defensively in front of her. She must have bit her tongue during her fall because a narrow trail of blood trickles from her lips down to her chin. She has a hard time breathing, tears well in her eyes. Finn raises his laser toward her. He could have shot her long ago if he had wanted.
His weapon dances up and down. He hesitates for far too long. Everyone notices. This is the proof I have been waiting for. There is no longer any doubt. Finn remembers. The only question is, how much?
He raises his head and looks to the stands. His eyes pass over the faces of the Legion commanders. His gaze lingers on me. I smile at him to let him know that I will support him no matter what he does next. I do not expect him to choose a victory scenario.
His laser fires and echoes through the arena. It has become quiet.
“D577 has won the fight,” the computer announces monotonously. There is no applause.
After the last fight of the day is complete, not only the fighters, but the spectators as well, are exhausted. The ceiling lights dim slightly, but the weak light reminds me of the lush red of the setting sun, though it lacks warmth. A233 takes the microphone to announce the winners of the D- Class and their pairings.
“A successful first day is behind us with many twists, exciting battles, and glorious victories in the next round of mating fights five residents from the fourth and fifth generation have emerged as victors of the D-Class. These residents have achieved a high rank, for the first time in the mating battles; they have the chance to undergo reclassification.”
The residents of the safety zone start applauding. Even if their body language does not express joy, I can recognize it, and above all, curiosity in their faces. A233 recites individually the five winners of the fourth generation and then they line up in a row in the empty arena. Then they announce the pairings. They act neither happy nor sad about the choice of their partner. Although they will have a child together, it won’t be together. There is no physical act of love. Just reproduction in vitro.
The fourth generation D-Class residents leave the arena.
“The winners of the fifth generation are D514, D539, D540, D560, and D577.”
The fifth generation winners stand in the arena. For the first time in her life, Asha raises her head highly. A smile is on her thin lips. Finn looks to the ground. He seems to feel guilty over Zoe’s defeat. He raises his eyes in my direction and I know he is his old self again. Sometimes a brief moment of looking someone in the eye can reveal more than words ever could. It is a silent confession.
Next, are the fifth generation D-Class pairings. Zoe is devastated. Her legs seem hardly able to bear her weight. She is trembling, but otherwise frozen in place, waiting for her name to be called.
“For the first time in the short history of the Legion, the pairings will be officially announced so that the partners may be allowed to talk to each other and get to know each other better. A re-pairing in five years is not ruled out.”
With every word A233 says, Zoe’s shoulders seem to sag increasingly downward. Her chest is heaving as though she can hardly get air. I see how she controls her breaths to prevent tears from welling up.
A233 begins to read the pairs. No one seems to pay attention to who they are paired with. No one exchanges any more than a curt nod. Nobody smiles, no one cries.
“D541 and D523,” A233 announces in a monotone voice that hardly differs from the computer.
Scared, Zoe raises her head and stares up to the podium; as if she could hardly believe her name was announced. A fountain of tears stream from her eyes as she looks at me. It hurts me to see her suffer and not be able to do anything about it. I know she wants my help, but I have no idea what I can do.
When I do nothing, she looks to the other D-Class residents standing with her. One of them comes forward and takes his place at her side. He must be D541. He looks just like everyone else. Not too big and not too small. A bald head, large light blue eyes, a straight nose, well-proportioned lips, and a slim body with light muscles on the upper arms. The perfect man. I can see from the stands nothing that makes him special. But I’m sure there must be something behind the façade.
As Zoe turns to him, her legs tremble. A small gasp penetrates from her throat. Tears stream down her cheeks. She does not look at D541. She presses her lips firmly together so as not to sob. She stares at me, as if to say this was my fault.
Even though I am afraid of the visit, I see it as my duty to attend to Zoe before her fertilization is carried out. The sickbay is more animated than I have ever seen before. Through the corridors, doctors race around in their green suits, followed by D-Class residents in brown and fighters in blue. Gradually the first seeds are being collec
ted and will be implanted into the women.
Zoe is in a large room with other D-Class women who will also be fertilized. When she sees me come through the door, she jumps in relief off her bed and walks toward me in her brown gown. She is barefoot.
“Finally! Here you are, I was afraid that you wouldn’t come. What is your plan?” She says excitedly. The truth is, there is no plan, but I cannot tell her that. I gently put my hand on her bare arm and walk her back to her bed.
“Sit down, please,” I urge her, but Zoe shakes her head uncomprehendingly. “Why? We have no time. The procedure is to take place tomorrow morning. Are you going to hide me somewhere?”
“Please sit down,” I repeat again, this time more sharply than intended. I see the blazing panic in her eyes, but she is powerless to resist and obeys, falling back on the bed, but without letting me out of her sight.
“What are you going to do?” She asks again, her voice trembling. She’s scared and I cannot blame her.
I sighed and sat down beside her. “I want to be honest with you. I do not know what I can do about this,” I confess to her.
Incredulous, Zoe just shakes her head. “You must be able to do something...”
“I cannot just kidnap you and smuggle you out of here. All areas are on high alert right now. The fighters are on high alert. On one hand it’s because it’s the mating season, and secondly, there is the threat of rebel attacks. It has never been harder to escape than it is right now.”
“But it’s not impossible, right?”
I hear hope dying a slow death in her voice. It breaks my heart to answer her.
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”
Her fingers cling firmly to the white fabric of the duvet while her lips begin to tremble again. Her tears glisten in her eyes, but before they can clear a path down her cheek, she pinches her eyes together, shaking her head furiously.
“You are a Legion commander and you are telling me there’s nothing you can do? I do not believe you!”
It is again one of those moments when I hate to have been appointed as a Legion commander. I thought it would be so easy to be one of many.
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