by Hazel Parker
“How dare you,” I said, my voice low but cold and in control. “You knew what the terms of the deal were.”
“Burke, I know, but I didn’t want to take any risks—”
“You should have asked for that in the arrangement,” I said. Fuck, why the hell had I ever agreed to this?
“Burke—”
“No, fuck this, that was not the deal, do whatever the fuck—”
“Burke!”
She yelled. Neighbors surely heard us. I surely didn’t give a fuck. But I did give a fuck about Emily, even with what she’d done, and so I shut up for the moment.
“It’s highly unlikely both will take. I’ll be lucky with everything considered just to have one take. And why are you so angry, anyway? You have nothing to do with the kids anyway. You’re signing away your parental rights.”
“I’m pissed off because you violated…our terms!”
My hesitation came because I knew that wasn’t the real answer. The real answer…the real fucking answer…
Was I liked her, and I couldn’t bear the thought of anything getting between us.
That…
No.
That couldn’t possibly be it.
But a part of me swore…
“We never signed anything,” Emily said, but her words sounded so distant, so far removed. She was right, but her words barely mattered. Nothing mattered except trying to make sense of what the fuck had just popped to mind.
“Fuck it!” I yelled, standing up. “You do whatever the hell you want. I’m out!”
With that, I left the room, feeling even dumber than I had when I’d left without signing anything. Emily yelled out for me, at first in anger, and then in sadness. But it didn’t even have anything to do with her, not at this point.
My head was spinning. I realized I’d blocked off so much of me from myself to do my life’s work. It had worked just fine for the previous several years, but now, with my feelings for Emily bursting through that self-imposed dam, I realized just how much I’d hidden from myself.
And the worst part was, I couldn’t even stop thinking that way. I still had one more mission to do.
And so, I decided, until Snake was gone, I would devote all of my time and energy to him. I’d help subcontractors and Scott and Liam with intel and scouting. When I finished the mission, I knew I’d have a hell of a time facing myself and my own nightmares.
But that didn’t matter. Kill Snake.
And then I could live my life.
I just wasn’t sure which was more frightening and more dangerous.
Chapter 15: Emily
One Week Later
Burke’s departure had made no sense to me.
I could see there was something he wasn’t saying to me. But at the end of the day, if he wasn’t going to say anything, I couldn’t help it. It pained me to say, but I let go of him as much as I could.
Which was to say, in the moment, I felt like I’d released him entirely, but knowing myself, I knew that didn’t really mean he was gone from my mind forever.
But I had something much more important and exciting to be considering.
My pregnancy test.
It was sort of darkly funny how, every time I felt like I’d reached the point where my mind could finally settle, the complete opposite happened. I thought that getting Burke’s sperm would put me at ease…nope. I thought a successful implantation would put me at ease…negative. Now, I thought a pregnancy test would make me feel comfortable.
Would it, though?
Honestly, I figured it would, but I was smart enough to recognize a pattern here. I knew I had to figure out a way to take care of myself.
But for right now, I was willing to let an external indicator hopefully finally be the thing to put me at ease, if for no other reason than this was the moment I had been building toward for months now.
I peed on the stick, gave it a few seconds, and then…I walked away from it. I went outside and took a breath. I was feeling so excited, I was verging on sheer panic. The possibilities that awaited here, the future that I’d suddenly found myself craving…it could all become a reality right here.
That was exciting. But it was also incredibly overwhelming. You’re gonna find out sooner or later. Go check it out.
And so check it out I did. I headed to the bathroom, found the test, and pulled it close.
It was positive.
It was positive!
Holy shit!
I didn’t care if the odds were ninety-nine percent beforehand that I’d get pregnant. This still felt like a damn miracle. Against all odds, against my life situation…I’d done it. I had gotten pregnant.
Pregnant!
With shaking hands, I called my doctor to schedule an ultrasound. My voice was giddy and rushed when I spoke, and I felt elated with even the most mundane of steps. Maybe it was ridiculous and a bit overkill, but I didn’t care. Even things like thinking about lying on the bed and looking at the monitor thrilled me.
And I’d do them all alone.
I still smiled as I talked to the doctor. I still felt joy. But yeah, there was that lingering sadness to be had. He hated my guts now, as evidenced by how poorly that last visit had gone. It had been so good to see him, and yet the meeting could not have gone any more poorly if we had tried.
And on top of that, he still hadn’t signed anything!
My decision to get two embryos made me realize he could come at me and make my life hell too. He could fight for custody, sue for violation of an agreement…
Ugh. I wanted to call Kelly but calling Kelly would just make me avoid the issues at hand. I needed to just be with myself. I needed to accept that yes, I had rushed into things.
I needed to accept that Burke was a good guy.
I needed to accept that my hurry to rush the process had caused a major rift between us.
All I had to do was trust the process, and I hadn’t. What did that say about me? It sure didn’t say anything—
BAM BAM BAM BAM.
Knocks at the door.
Could it be?
I also heard footsteps moving away from the door hurriedly. Maybe Burke was thinking differently of his options. No time to waste.
I hurried to the door, fumbled the lock in my hands, and just barely got it open. There was no one there. I looked to the left, no one. Looked to the right, no one. Had I imagined the damn knock?
No, I realized when I looked down at my feet.
I took the envelope inside, taking extra care to open it very slowly so I didn’t tear anything.
Well, as it turned out, I did not tear anything. And as it turned out, it was not a gift.
It was simply a note:
“Emily, the address for the car. 278 Reddings Street, Bristol, CT. Send a check for $5M to P.O. Box 5555, Hartford, CT. You can also send papers to P.O. Box.”
The note was unsigned. I couldn’t even tell if it came from Burke or a representative of his. But at least he was willing to sign.
At least he was willing to be involved legally, if not personally.
I called my lawyer and had him get everything in order. I felt some measure of relief that everything was set up, legally speaking.
But I sure felt awful that what had seemingly had so much potential for romance and chemistry had merely become a transactional item now.
Chapter 16: Burke
I really hated the idea of giving her a fucking letter.
I wasn’t going to show up and make an emotional pitch on where she could send the car and the money, but still.
I suppose you could say I wanted a second chance at that conversation that had ended so badly just a week or so before. I wanted the chance to process everything, explain what had gone wrong, and provide it to Emily. I just…
Fuck.
Well, this was the bed I had made for myself, and it was time for me to lay on it. If Emily wanted to see me again, she’d leave a note in the car or with the money. It was a huge fucking sign that
I barely gave a shit about the car anymore—not to say I didn’t care at all, just that compared to how it had first felt, I felt remarkably empty.
The car would get shipped to the proper address. The check would hit my bank account. I’d briefly smile at the inflated bank account and sit in awe in the driver’s seat of the ride. And then…
Well, what then?
The answer was nothing sustainable. It would feel cool to be in the car. But it wouldn’t last. I wasn’t a big spender, so the money wouldn’t matter; it would just ensure I never went broke.
But anything beyond that? Anything more than that?
The only thing that would make it possible to not feel like shit was to make amends with Emily. And that would entail me not being emotionally unavailable, not writing a fucking letter, and going to meet her in person in Miami.
But before I could let myself wallow in too much pity, I got a message from Scott.
“Snake’s been sighted. East End Cayman Islands. Let’s roll.”
So we’re going back to the place that made Scott retire. Seems appropriate.
I didn’t have time to wallow in my pity. The one thing that could have pulled me from Emily had done so. Time to go to war.
I didn’t bother responding to Scott. He wouldn’t need me to in order to know I was on the way. I gathered my things, headed to the nearest airport, and found a jet waiting for me. I got on the plane without a moment’s hesitation.
And just like last time, the last thing that came to mind was none other than Emily Lorne.
Leave no trail. You did the right thing. She can’t find you in person no matter how hard she tried.
But boy. What I’d give for one more shot.
When I landed in the Cayman Islands, a storm was just rolling in. Clouds overhead were dark, and in the distance, thunder and lightning could be seen. It hadn’t hit where we were yet, but it was only a matter of time.
It seemed almost poetic. It would be a real tempest working to kill Snake. It would have been almost cinematic, except trying to shoot in the fucking rain and not get struck by lightning on an island like this wasn’t just some amusing stunt I’d have to shoot film of. It was a real fucking situation I had to deal with.
Scott and Liam were already waiting for me. They were fully decked out ready to go and kill the motherfucker.
“Gear up in the truck,” Scott said as we walked over to the armored vehicle. “Liam’s got the sunroof. You’ve got the six.”
“Delightful.”
“Don’t complain, you’ll be fully equipped. We’ve got intel on where Snake is, but he probably knows we are coming. So we need to move before he has the chance to escape. Let’s fucking go!”
No pleasantries. No conversation. No catchup.
Just a mission. I fucking loved it. If this was going to be one of our last runs, I want it to be the most dom of them all.
Our walk soon turned into a jog. I practically leaped into the rear of the truck where, sure enough, Scott had my gear waiting for me. The only thing protecting me from the incoming storm was the lightweight cloth of a canopy over the rear. Suffice to say that Scott was counting on my instincts more than the canopy to protect me.
I’d barely gotten everything into one corner of the trunk when the truck accelerated forward, almost knocking me on my face. Thankfully, honed instincts from years in DOM prevented me from tipping over and I regrouped. Scott could drive like a devil, but we needed to go through a bit of hell to get to Snake.
I got everything on, equipped my rifle, and tried to crawl to the back so that I had a chance to line up some shots. The rain had now hit the island. I was less concerned with that than with this truck going off-balance and rolling. I could handle gunfire, but the Hulk I was not.
As it turned out, I didn’t need to wait for too long for the showdown to begin.
Probably within no more than two minutes, I heard the first eruption of gunfire. Liam, in the front, and Scott, presumably out the window, were laying down fire somewhere. I felt fucking useless in the back, here to defend the rear from an attack that was not yet coming. I would prove invaluable on the escape, but I was fucking pissed that I wasn’t getting to have my shot at Snake.
“On the move!” Liam yelled.
Here we go.
I braced myself, and sure enough, moments later, the truck lurched forward. I kept an eye out on the rear in case anyone decided to follow, if this retreat was meant to be more of a surprise.
And wouldn’t you fucking know it, Snake wasn’t so inclined to just hand over everything and surrender. Three motorcyclists appeared from seemingly nowhere, giving chase and trying to take out Scott and Liam on the side.
Two of them were easy targets. I shot one and then the other before they realized what was coming, but the third reacted accordingly and accelerated ahead. I had to duck under the tarp on the side, lean over the railing, and shoot the bastard in the back.
But my troubles were just getting started.
Two Jeeps pulled out momentarily after. I got down low to the ground and fired my machine gun. The good news was I was as accurate in my firing as I usually was.
The bad news was they had bulletproof glass, which meant little bullets like this weren’t going to work. I needed something heavier.
I glanced back and found what I hoped to see—a grenade launcher. I hurried over, loaded a shell, and took aim at my first target. I fired.
The Jeep went up in the most glorious fireball I had ever seen in my life. Thing was a fucking beauty.
I loaded the second round but quickly had to take cover when the other Jeep opened fire on me. Loading when I was flat to the ground was a giant pain in the ass, and now the question was how I’d fire upon it while having bullets hailed at me.
I waited for a pause in the action. It came about ten seconds later. I hurriedly sat up, took aim, and fired.
And at the very same moment, my truck slammed on the brakes, sending me backward at full throttle. Also at the same time, bullets from the Jeep I was firing upon hit me square in the shoulder and chest. I put a finger up to it.
Blood?
I’d been fucking…hit?
“Burke!”
I started feeling weak. Had I been struck before and missed it? Had being thrown to the back of the truck dislodged the body armor…had…
Fuck…
“Burke! Liam, go check!”
It was the last thing I heard before I went to black.
Beeping.
Distant sounds.
My vision was slowly coming back. Where the hell was I?
I was…nowhere.
It was hard to describe. I could hear the distant echoes of what sounded like a hospital. Heart rate monitors. Blood pressure valves. Doctors talking. I heard something like “needs at least two weeks rest” and “lucky to survive” but I couldn’t actually see anyone around me.
But it wasn’t exactly a cliche white light or anything like that. There was just a foggy outline of a room. I knew I wasn’t dead, or was I? I couldn’t see but my eyes were open.
I also felt extremely light and relaxed. I didn’t know how to describe it either. Maybe I was on a shitload of drugs. It wouldn’t have been the first time that I had fallen into some sort of blissful state. As long as I didn’t die, that would be…
That would be fine.
I closed my eyes.
When I opened them up once again, this time, I wasn’t in the hospital room. The beeping had stopped. Instead, I was…back in Emily’s apartment? I mean, it definitely looked like her place, down to the color of her couch, but how did that make any fucking sense?
“Burke…”
I could hear her voice begging from me on the other side of the door. She sounded like she was fingering herself. There was so much pleasure, erotic tension in her voice.
I’d been in this spot before. The last time, I’d just remained on the couch, figuring it better to remain where I was. But this time…
“Bu
rke…”
But now, that damn voice begged for me, called to me like it was yearning for my presence. Like she had to have me. Had to.
“Burke, please…”
My cock was hard as a rock. Was this real? Did it matter?
“Burke, I need you.”
I couldn’t fucking wait another second. Even if this was all just a dream, I didn’t care. And if it was reality, then this was a hell of a fucking way to wake up.
I pushed open the door. Emily was standing there with a towel on, but one hand was up the towel enough so that I could see her pussy. It was a sight to behold, one that had me practically ready to burst through my pants. Her face looked like she was on the verge of orgasm, of collapsing into a heap of puddled pleasure. God, how I wanted to just take her for myself and do whatever I wanted.
God, how fucking amazing it would have felt to be like a dom again.
“Burke, baby,” she said.
The towel dropped. I’d always known she was curvy and beautiful, but whether because my mind was foggy or just because I’d never seen her naked before, she looked so fucking luscious and sexy. Her breasts had to be at least a letter size larger than I’d thought, and her skin radiated like a golden bronze. Holy fuck, I’d been with some women, but this was unlike anything I’d ever seen before. A goddess.
“Take me and fuck me, Burke.”
Well, who was I to refuse an order like that? I went over to her and took my shirt off as she worked to unbuckle my pants. She slid her body perfectly down mine as my cock burst through my pants. It brushed over her breasts, and she took me in her mouth. Holy fuck, I nearly came from the feeling alone.
I grabbed her head and bobbed her up and down on my cock. She sucked like a fucking pro. I could have let her do this until I came.
But that would go against my very nature. I couldn’t just let her have her way forever.
And so, after a couple of minutes of this, I lifted her up and pulled her face toward mine. I devoured her with a kiss before I tossed her on the bed.