by Gwen Carr
In addition, Nadia made sure that we communicated our message at the event and on our flyers. We had the following printed up to share with attendees:
ERIC: Eliminating Racism and
Inequality Collectively
ERIC, also known as the Garner Way Foundation, was established to empower others with the knowledge and awareness of the ongoing crisis we face continuously, which is racism and injustice. Our goal is to arm those in need with educational tools that will combat these unfortunate situations when necessary.
Our Story
This is in dedication, memory, and protest of the wrongful choking death of Eric Garner, forty-three years old, father of five children, who on July 17, 2014, was put into a chokehold after apparently breaking up a fight outside a local storefront in Staten Island, New York. Five New York police officers surrounded him, and one of the police officers put him in a chokehold, then forced him onto the ground with the chokehold still applied around his neck. Eric Garner shouted out “I can’t breathe” eleven times. As a result, Eric Garner died shortly thereafter. A Staten Island Grand Jury has voted not to indict the New York police officer in the killing of Eric Garner, which emotionally disturbs the nation.
Later that month I was invited to attend the New York Civil Liberties Union (NYCLU) benefit called “Broadway Stands Up for Freedom.” The event is held each year by the NYCLU, which is a group that has been around since 1951 to defend people’s rights as indicated in the U.S. Constitution. The group helps to fight for freedom of speech, equality, and due process of law for all New York citizens. As with all events, I had learned to do my research before agreeing to anything.
According to the NYCLU website:
When the NYCLU was founded, civil liberties were under siege. McCarthyism was in full swing and blacklisting and loyalty oaths were the norm. Government censorship of books and magazines was common, and abortion was a crime. Blacks, Latinos and other people of color were subjected to discrimination in education, housing and employment. Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender New Yorkers lived in fear of exposure. Students were virtually without rights. The NYCLU has led the way and helped to create a more open, just and equitable society. The NYCLU fights for civil liberties and civil rights through a multi-layered program of litigation, advocacy, public education and community organizing. We represent ordinary people who have experienced injustice and have decided to fight back. Our clients are men and women, rich and poor, gay and straight, black, white and brown, young and old, religious and atheist, able-bodied and living with a disability, citizens and immigrants. When we vindicate their rights, all New Yorkers benefit.
The event is a big deal every year in New York, and I thought it would be good exposure. Every time I showed up at something, people would recognize me and my highlighted curls. Then they would remember that I am Eric Garner’s mother, so I thought that any of those high-profile events were a good way to keep his name out in the public’s mind because I know that it’s easy for a news story to fade away. I didn’t want that to happen, so I agreed to attend the event.
Of course, it was star studded, with lots of Broadway performers, local dignitaries, and other important folks. It was a full program where they discussed the importance of fighting for the rights of everyone and how important it is to speak out and get involved. I could honestly say that I was about as involved as anyone could get, and I agreed that it was very empowering.
Nadia and I discussed these opportunities when they came up because while I did want to make sure that I kept Eric’s name out there and in people’s mouths, I started to worry that I might be getting too much exposure. Was there such a thing? I hadn’t thought of that before, but when I saw my pictures online, on the red carpet, I started to wonder whether people were going to get tired of me. Did I have an expiration date, a shelf life for my public appearances? Up to that point, I said “yes” as much as possible, but Nadia pointed out that since I was now helping to represent Hillary’s presidential campaign, I did need to keep that in mind.
We didn’t come up with any hard and fast rules, but we decided that we did need to be cautious and vigilant about future appearances. I had to remember that now it was not just about Eric or me but also about the possible next president. I wanted to make sure that whatever I did, it was keeping in line with the principles and values that I’d heard her share from the road. It was important to me that if I was going to lend my name (and, more important, my time) to something, then I was going to be fully committed to it. I wasn’t going to take my commitment lightly.
At the end of the day, the only thing I really have is my name and my reputation, so they have to be something I protect. I talked before about how there is no activism rulebook that works for everyone, and that goes for being in the public eye as well. Because of the way I was known, I wanted to be careful that I was doing things the right way—I just had to figure out what that was. Having Nadia along for the ride helped me make more informed choices when it came to public appearances and media events.
She was great at evaluating a request, vetting it, and providing me with her thoughts on whether it was something we should pursue. That was important to me because, with all the demands on my time, I had less and less of it to give. I also still wanted to make time for Ben and my family and our get-togethers. That was impossible when I was on the road, so when I had a little bit of downtime I wanted to be careful about what I took on.
After being a part of that campaign, it was easy to get caught up in that momentum and excitement and just immediately agree to do something. I just never imagined in a million years that I would be worrying about which red carpet events to attend and what speaking engagement I should accept. At this stage of my life, it was as much of a surprise to me as anyone else. I guess when you are presented with something like what happened to Eric, you have to decide at that moment how you are going to respond. Lots of family members handled things differently, and that’s OK. We all have to do what feels right for us. I just couldn’t wait until we got to the election and Hillary won the presidency, but first she had to clinch the nomination.
The Democratic National Convention was held from July 25 to 28, 2016, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. It was there that Hillary Clinton, along with her vice presidential running mate Tim Kaine, was chosen as the official Democratic nominee for president. The convention included several days of panels and presentations. Elizabeth Warren was the keynote speaker, and there were countless others in attendance, including Barack and Michelle Obama, Bill Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Cory Booker, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Joe Biden. There were even folks there like Meryl Streep and Angela Bassett.
The party agreed to focus on several key issues, including financial regulations, criminal justice reform, and important programs like social security and welfare benefits. There was also talk about focusing on strengthening the Affordable Care Act, improving education, and expanding workers’ rights. Those all seemed like reasonable, no-nonsense issues, and I couldn’t really see how anyone wouldn’t want to support them.
It was a bit overwhelming meeting the sheer number of people there. I’d met plenty of important people over the last year or so, but this was at a whole different level. There were so many senators and congresspeople and mayors and celebrities. It was a lot to take in. The programs on the second day focused on fighting for children and families, and I found those especially important.
Several of us were there as part of the Mothers of the Movement. On day two of the convention, we were onstage taking part in a panel discussion. In attendance with me was Maria Hamilton, mother of Dontre Hamilton; Annette Nance-Holt, mother of Blair Holt; Geneva Reed-Veal, mother of Sandra Bland; Lucia McBath, mother of Jordan Davis; Sybrina Fulton, mother of Trayvon Martin; Cleopatra Cowley-Pendleton, mother of Hadiya Pendleton; Wanda Johnson, mother of Oscar Grant; and Lezley McSpadden, mother of Michael Brown. As we walked onstage, people in the audience shouted their support with “Black lives matter!”
By that time, we had traveled all over the country and people had gotten used to seeing us together, a band of mothers representing the effects of police brutality and gun violence on the community. It had gotten to the point where we rarely needed an introduction anymore. Just as the audience shouted out that day, people knew who we were and why we were joined together to spread a message of accountability and responsibility for all people.
The entire convention was a beautiful celebration of the six months we had spent together working so hard for the mission that we all believed in so strongly. It was fun seeing performances by people like Boyz II Men, Alicia Keys, Lenny Kravitz, and Snoop Dogg, but that was just icing on the cake. I knew that the focus was on winning the presidency. I was just so excited that I would see a female U.S. president in my lifetime. I had never even dreamed that was a possibility a few years ago. Of course, I never expected a Black man to do it, either, but I was pleasantly surprised by the amazing eight years when Barack Obama ran the country.
Once again, I met so many people that day that I could barely keep them straight. A poised, well-dressed woman stopped me in the hallway. “Aren’t you Gwen Carr?”
“Yes,” I answered.
“Hi, I’m April Ryan, White House correspondent for American Urban Radio Networks.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Well, we actually met before. I saw you at Hillary Clinton’s town hall in Baltimore. I was also at the Prince concert.”
“Oh, that concert was wonderful. I’m sorry I didn’t remember you. I meet a lot of people and sometimes just can’t keep them straight.”
She smiled at me. “Oh, that’s OK, Mrs. Carr. I’m working on my second book, At Mama’s Knee , and I wanted to ask you if I could mention you and your case in the book.”
“Yes, that would be wonderful. We will take all the attention we can get. I’m hoping that once Hillary is in office, things will really change.” I knew that April was becoming more well known as an author and a news commentator, so I was appreciative of anyone who would write about Eric and keep his name out there. When anyone asked a question like that, if they could mention me along with Eric, I was almost emphatic about it. Yes! Talk about me, talk about him, just keep writing and saying Eric’s name until things change.
On July 28, the last day of the convention, the highlight was Hillary Clinton being introduced by her daughter, Chelsea, and officially accepting the Democratic nomination for president of the United States. It felt amazing that all our hard work was paying off. I had learned so much over the past few months about how politics worked and what it took just to get nominated, much less elected. It was truly overwhelming. It was very fulfilling work, but also emotionally draining.
I was excited when I was contacted by a representative from Beyoncé’s team. The album and video had been released a few months back and had taken the country by storm. I knew that she was very popular, and I liked her music, but I just wasn’t prepared for how universal it was. I saw and heard about it everywhere I went. Everyone was talking because of course the whole project had been top secret, so when a complete album came from out of nowhere, people were very surprised.
Not only that, but they were also very surprised by the tone of the album and the subject matter. This was following her very polarizing and inspiring performance during the Super Bowl halftime that year, when she performed her single “Formation.” Some people perceived the images as having an anti–law enforcement message and a tribute to the Black Panthers. A lot of discussion was going on at that time about the Black Lives Matter movement and the hashtag #BlackLivesMatter. Again, people were taking that to mean that other lives didn’t matter, which wasn’t the message at all. But it sure made some folks feel a certain type of way.
Her album continued with the same themes, controversial topics like Hurricane Katrina, the treatment of Blacks in America, and the importance of having pride in your heritage. In the song “Forward,” the four of us mothers (me, Wanda, Sybrina, and Lezley) are featured with the photos we brought of our children. We had no idea what it would look like when it was completed, so it was very interesting to see how her vision had been realized, not only in the album but also in the video. In addition, the entire video was shown on HBO, so that opened it up to a whole new audience.
It was amazing how many people contacted me to tell me they had seen me and Eric in the video. None of them could believe I was in it because I hadn’t said anything. I told them, “I couldn’t! I promised Beyoncé I wouldn’t say anything. I couldn’t disappoint her!” People laughed when I told them that because after it came out there was a lot of talk about how she did that without anyone even knowing it was going on. I guess that is part of the magic of Beyoncé.
Her representative wanted to know whether I could join Beyoncé and some of the other ladies at the 2016 MTV Video Music Awards in New York at Madison Square Garden. Of course, I was excited, and this was yet another event that I got to see through to the end. I had been at the initial filming, and here we were going to an award show. It felt good to follow these opportunities from start to finish. It helped to show that things were happening, and people were talking and questioning things and hopefully thinking about how things could be improved.
I got dressed up for the event and wore a gold gown. Beyoncé was there with a large crew of women from the project, including Sybrina, Wanda, and Lezley, and of course her husband, JAY-Z, and her daughter, Blue Ivy, were there. We walked the red carpet and posed for pictures before being seated in a reserved section with a perfect view of the stage. I couldn’t believe the things I had been fortunate enough to take part in.
Now, if I’m being totally honest, I didn’t know who a lot of the performers were that night. There were some whom I did recognize and some who seemed familiar, but mostly they were for a different generation and not folks whom I had listened to. That didn’t change my excitement level at all, though. I was into the moment and enjoying every minute of it. We were all taking selfies and posing for photos during breaks between the awards and music acts. One thing they don’t tell you is that there is a lot of downtime during those shows.
We cheered loudest when Beyoncé took the stage and performed a medley of songs from her album. Watching her do her thing up close was very exciting, and seeing how much of herself she put into her show was truly something to behold. She took home a bunch of awards that night. I had to look up which ones they were because I didn’t remember them specifically, but she won Best Female Video for the song “Hold Up,” Best Female Video for “Hold Up,” and Video of the Year for “Formation.” Then the Lemonade album won something called the Moonman Award for Breakthrough Long-Form Video.
After the show, Beyoncé came up to me and asked whether we would like to join her and her family for dinner, and of course I said yes! We went down to Little Italy and had the best time. She is such a wonderful human being. Then she continued to bless me by inviting me to join her in Los Angeles, where Quincy Jones was honoring her. It was just amazing how things like that kept happening. I continued to allow those types of gifts to come my way and receive them in the spirit of gratitude and humbleness. I was just so thankful for everything these people did to help keep Eric’s name alive.
I didn’t have a lot of time to think about those things because I had to be back to work. Now that Hillary was the official Democratic candidate, our schedule was more packed than ever before. In September, Maria Hamilton, Geneva Reed-Veal, and I were at the North Carolina Central University School of Law talking to a large audience about our experiences with the criminal justice system. Everyone there was very warm and receptive to our message. There were many students and faculty along with people in the legal field.
October was filled with more appearances and campaigns. A lot of them were focused in the South and in what they called the battleground states. In Durham, North Carolina, we were at a church and stood behind Hillary with our fists in the air to show our support.
There were events in Pennsylvania, Florida, all over the place. In every location in every state, we kept sharing our stories in the hopes of touching people’s hearts and helping them to understand who the best choice was to run this country.
My message was always the same: It was imperative that the criminal justice system experience real reform. Our advocacy needed to turn into action. Things needed to be done. I kept stressing that my son’s death was ruled a homicide; yet no one was held accountable. How does that happen in this day and age? Every time I emphasize that, people are always amazed. They know the video, but they don’t know the whole story. It cuts deep, and it’s not a wound that will ever heal—at least not for me.
The press kept saying that we were there to influence the Black vote and help inspire them to go to the polls. That was partially true. We did want them to go to the polls and vote for Hillary, but I didn’t just want the Black vote. I wanted all votes. One of the problems is that we keep saying this is a Black issue and a Black problem. I was trying to get across to everyone that it’s not a Black problem—it’s an American problem. If I was just trying to reach Black folks, that would be preaching to the choir.
Believe me when I tell you that Black folks are very familiar with the problems we face daily in society. Dealing with law enforcement and prejudice and inequality and poor treatment is just another day for us. We don’t need someone to tell us there is an issue. What we need is to reach other people, those who do not have the same experiences that we do. They likely have no idea what we go through just to shop in a department store without feeling uncomfortable.