by M. L. Rio
Here I must also acknowledge that I have ransacked Shakespeare’s entire oeuvre with giddy abandon. The fourth-year thespians speak a kind of Pidgin English so saturated with Shakespearean words and quotes and turns of phrase that it could almost be classified as a new (and, there is no denying, exceptionally pretentious) dialect. Because it is a natural and unregulated phenomenon, in some instances quotes borrowed from the Bard—which for the sake of clarity have been italicized, regardless of whether they are verse or prose—are not borrowed word for word. This is the creative liberty of language. For the purposes of this particular story, the texts of Shakespeare and his collaborators (whomsoever they may have been) are always filtered either through the characters’ mouths and/or Oliver’s brain, and so are subject to small transformations. The vagaries of early modern orthography have been regularized for the contemporary reader, and I have punctuated the text in whatever manner best serves the speaker or the scene. As James remarks in Act V, “Commas belong to the compositors.” But whatever small discrepancies there may be, every line of If We Were Villains is written with the intention of paying homage to William Shakespeare—who has had more than enough defamers, detractors, and deniers. (Lord, what fools these mortals be.)
Acknowledgments
I am indebted to Arielle Datz, who took a very big chance on a very young writer, talked her off various ledges, and walked her through the process of publication with unfailing patience and unflagging enthusiasm. To Christine Kopprasch, who laughed at my most terrible jokes and worked magic on my mess of a manuscript with remarkable instinct and insight about the art of storytelling. To everyone at Flatiron Books, whose dedication, creativity, and love of good books are nothing less than inspiring. To Chris Parris-Lamb, without whose guidance this book never would have made it past the query stage. To my fellow MA students at King’s College, who vindicated my conviction that, yes, some people really are obsessed enough to have entire conversations in Shakespearean quotations. To Margaret, for giving ear to my every complaint. To my early readers (Madison, Crissy, and Sophie), all of whom were bribed with wine and offered invaluable input in return. To my friends in Chapel Hill (Bailey, Cary, and the Simpson family), whose goodwill never wavered, even in the face of my crippling artistic anxiety. To the teachers, directors, and professors (Natalie Dekle, Brooke Linefsky, Greg Kable, Ray Dooley, Jeff Cornell, and Farah Karim-Cooper), who have encouraged and enabled my infatuation with Shakespeare. To my grandmother, who fostered my love of literature from an early age and let me drink up all her tea and most of her liquor while I worked on my manuscript in the corner of her library. And to my parents, who drove me to and from countless rehearsals, sat through a number of truly atrocious plays, read a stack of similarly hideous first drafts, and never once decried my impractical passions. Let me give humble thanks for all at once.
Recommend If We Were Villains for your next book club!
Reading Group Guide available at
www.readinggroupgold.com
About the Author
M. L. Rio has worked in bookstores and theaters for years, and she holds a master’s in Shakespeare studies from King’s College London. If We Were Villains is her first novel. Visit her online at MLRio.com, or sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Act I
Prologue
Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Scene 5
Scene 6
Scene 7
Scene 8
Scene 9
Scene 10
Scene 11
Scene 12
Act II
Prologue
Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Scene 5
Scene 6
Scene 7
Scene 8
Scene 9
Scene 10
Act III
Prologue
Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Scene 5
Scene 6
Scene 7
Scene 8
Scene 9
Scene 10
Scene 11
Scene 12
Scene 13
Scene 14
Scene 15
Scene 16
Scene 17
Scene 18
Act IV
Prologue
Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Scene 5
Scene 6
Scene 7
Scene 8
Scene 9
Scene 10
Act V
Prologue
Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Scene 5
Scene 6
Scene 7
Epilogue
Author’s Note
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
IF WE WERE VILLAINS. Copyright © 2017 by M. L. Rio. All rights reserved. For information, address Flatiron Books, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.flatironbooks.com
Cover design by Alex Merto
Cover photography © Greg Gerla / Stockimo / Alamy Stock Photo
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-1-250-09528-2 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-250-15495-8 (international, sold outside the U.S., subject to rights availability)
ISBN 978-1-250-09530-5 (e-book)
e-ISBN 9781250095305
Our e-books may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact your local bookseller or the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by e-mail at [email protected].
First U.S. Edition: April 2017
First International Edition: April 2017