by Sam Destiny
It worried her that he didn’t ask what was going on, or had been going on, since police presence in itself didn’t tell a whole story.
“I went to the pharmacy to get something for John, and when I came back I saw the door standing open. I knew Jesse wouldn’t have done that, knew he would never leave any door open after what he went through, and so I left John in the car. It’s not hot, and I figured he was saver in there than in my arms. I approached the door and heard grunts and threats. Someone shouted about killing Jazz and I called the police.” Not running inside had been the hardest thing she’d ever done, but she no longer could be selfish. She had a son who needed her, and attacking a madman certainly wouldn’t keep her safe.
“They were here fast, but so far only people went in. No one came back out. Someone called an ambulance, but…” Just that moment the EMTs arrived, jumping out. Ryan hesitated only a second, then he joined them.
“I’m his doctor,” he announced and they didn’t question him. Even the police let him through while Tessa had to stay back with Mister Wiggle-Pig. He came closer again, his uniform stretching around his belly like glaze over a cinnamon roll… only less tempting. His belt had vanished somewhere under his belly fat and he took a position next to her, either crossing his arms in front of his chest or resting them on top of his belly. Tessa couldn’t decide, but at least that momentarily distracted her from the worry until a loud bang drew her focus. Four officers were dragging out a kicking and screaming soldier, his eyes wild in the half torn-up face.
Her world tilted on its axis as she realized this had to be Caleb, the first guy Jazz had seen die. Only he wasn’t dead. Oh no, the guy was very much alive, and filled to the brim with hatred and obscenities. He cursed at the officers and struggled until they had him safely tugged away in a police car. Two of the guys were rubbing their sides as if Caleb had punched them, while a third one already had a bruise blooming on his jaw.
Since the danger was eliminated, she charged forward, but Wiggle-Pig grabbed her arm, his fat fingers closing around her wrist.
She shook him off, stepping close until they were nearly nose-to-nose. “Look, Sir, your colleagues there seem to hurt. Maybe you should check on them while I’m going to enter this house and find the man I love. Touch me again and I promise, you’ll have assault charges in your file before you can blink.” She knew threatening him it wasn’t the smartest move, but she couldn’t care less, not even if he’d make her pay a fine or stay inside a cell for a night for it.
She’d deal with all of that as soon as she knew how Jesse was. Before she got a chance to step foot inside though, EMTs appeared, carrying a stretcher.
“Are you Tessa?” one of the guys asked, and the two paused.
“Yes.”
“Doctor inside thinks it would help our guy here if you could tell him you’re okay.”
Fact was, Tessa didn’t even want to step close because she worried that their guy wouldn’t even be awake to realize she was talking to him. They had bundled him up, a drip at his side, and she was terrified to see what was hidden under the covers.Yet she moved forward, one foot in front of the other, and took Jesse’s side, leaning over.
His blue eyes were open, searching for something, and she could see panic in them. So much so, it made her wonder why he wasn’t struggling like she’d have expected it.
“He’s sedated. We gave him something against the pain, but he can still hear you fine,” Ryan assured her as he joined her outside of the house. Blood spatters decorated his former white coat that seemed to be a prop from a horror movie now.
Jazz’s face had already started swelling, his cheeks looking puffier than she’d ever seen it, and it made tears come to her eyes. They’d pulled a blanket up to his chin, not letting her see more, but his eyes finally settled on her, and emotions raced through his gaze, too fast to catch them all. Tessa recognized regret, pain, anger, and infinite sadness. The last one she worried about most.
“Tell me, Jazz,” she demanded, leaning over to brush a kiss to his jaw because it seemed to be the only unhurt place. It was only there, when she was that close, that she noticed how ragged his breathing was.
“He cannot answer, Tess. Sedated, remember?” Ryan pointed out and she focused on him.
“He’s not that deep under, he was looking at me just a second ago, seeing me, too,” she insisted. It didn’t really matter how deep under he was, rationally she knew that, but for her it was vital he’d recognized her.
“Yes. I needed him to see you were fine. He was putting up a fight inside when he could barely move. And his larynx… I mean his voice box was damaged again, making it hard for him to speak or breathe. We need to put him under to set up a breathing aid, but again…” He just shrugged and pointed at Jazz, reminding her of what mattered. The EMTs were already tapping their feet, impatient.
“Hey, Jazz,” she tried again, this time giving him a smile as his eyes sluggishly found hers. “John and I are going to come and see you in the hospital soon, okay? It’ll be fine. You’ll be okay. The police took the guy away. Caleb, wasn’t it? Everything’s okay, we’re not hurt,” she assured him and relief passed his features. He lowered his lashes, and for a second Tessa waited for him to focus on her again, but he didn’t.
The stretcher moved and she stepped back, hugging herself. Ryan entered her field of vision, grabbing her chin as she tried to look around him.
“He’ll be sedated until we determined all damage. Do not come to the hospital before that. They won’t let you in because… well, actually, maybe they would. I guess it all depends on the way he is. However, stay here. I’ll call you as soon as I have news, okay? Even though… you need to contact his mother. You’re not his wife, so technically I shouldn’t have—”
“You shouldn’t have called me when he had nightmares and yet you did. You shouldn’t have given me any info, and yet you always did. You know as well as I do that this is not normal, and I don’t give a damn as long as I’ll know he’ll be okay.”
The ambulance left, and though Tessa knew there were more doctors at the hospital, she wondered why Ryan was lingering.
Dread flooded her system. “What? He’s not going to die, is he?”
“Definitely not, and I think he’ll be up and running again rather soon.However, this could throw him back months. He’d come so far with therapy and you, but this… this is a new trauma, inflicted by the old one. The soldier they took away kept screaming about Jesse being a murderer. Until he’s awake and talking again we won’t know, but I need you to be prepared. You two might have to do it all over again.”
It took everything Tessa had to not just sink down and weep. Instead, she nodded, deciding to get her son, clean up the house, and then leave to go back to her home. She needed Hilary, and she needed chocolate as well as a girls’ night.
As long as there wasn’t anything she’d be able to do at the hospital, she’d try to calm herself down and collect all the strength she could find.
It was half past ten when the doorbell rang and Hilary jumped up from the sofa. “Damn motherfuckers who have no respect for time and privacy. Whoever is in front of the damn door will now get the ass-kicking of their life,” she grumbled all the way to open and Tessa smiled to herself while listening for any baby sounds. Johnny didn’t even stir it seemed.
“You damn… Tank.” All heat left Hilary’s voice and Tessa stood as well, following her friend into the hallway. Leaned against the doorway she found a very drunk Tank, and didn’t even need to walk closer to smell that.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Hils placed her hands on her hips, shielding the way inside.
“Need to see Tessa.” It came out slurred, almost sounding as if he was asking for something lesser.
“What for?” Hilary inquired while Tessa gently nudged her friend aside.
“What’s up, big boy?” she asked and Tank’s eyes found hers, much slower than she was used to. So close up she almost started swaying from the stron
g smell of alcohol. “Jesus, have you showered with vodka?”
“Nemma gonna getim back,” Tank muttered and Tessa sighed, feeling her heart break for Tank.
“You will. Jazz is ready to return to base soon. He wants to work. I’m sure he misses your idiot remarks and stupid comments.” She tried her hand at humor, even though she had to admit she didn’t know because Jazz hadn’t talked much about anyone but his mother and his sister.
To that Tank muttered something intangible that ended with ‘broken’.
“Why in the world did you come here, and how?” It struck her only then he might have driven, and she pushed out on the street.Luckily, there was nothing to worry about.
“Tab… cab,” Tank stated and she nodded in relief. Jazz would never forgive her if she’d allowed something to happen to his best friend.
“Fine. What do you want, Tank?” The air outside was cold, nipping on her arms where the short shirt didn’t reach. She hugged herself, refusing to go back inside when the night seemed to clear her mind of worry webs that had formed. Things weren’t better out here, but at least it gave her the feeling they could be.
“Get inside, Tess. No need catching anything for his drunken ass,” Hilary commented, but Tessa just gave her a small smile.
“Just a few minutes. I need a breather.”
“Nothin’ worth it,” Tank muttered and reached for something to hold onto, finding only Hilary. The brunette steadied him, rolling her eyes at Tessa.
“What’s not worth it?” she wanted to know and Tank lifted his bloodshot eyes.
“Tessas wouldn’t love me,” he replied and the girls stared at each other, not sure they had heard right.
“You’re an ass, so no, I wouldn’t love you,” Tessa agreed. “Besides… you would do that to Jazz?” She couldn’t believe it. Tank was an idiot most of the time, but she had a feeling he’d be loyal to Jazz no matter what, and hitting on your best friend’s girl definitely was way out of bro-code.
“Not Tessa, Tessas,” he insisted, nodding so vigorously he nearly toppled over because Hilary had a hard time holding onto him. Tessa was by his side in two steps, figuring that maybe going inside and planting him on a sofa wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
Nodding at Hilary, she felt the other woman grab onto Tank stronger again, wrapping one slender arm around his back. He jumped and Tessa had a suspicion Hilary poked him in his ribs a little too hard on purpose.
“Stop being so jumpy. Let’s get you inside, big boy.”
“Dunno deserve nice girls ever,” he announced, trying to shake them both off, but in his state they managed to wrestle him down onto the sofa.
“I’ll get him some water and then we’ll make sure he stretches out and sleeps this off. He reeks of hard alcohol and sorry ass,” Hilary grumbled, but there was something in the other woman’s eyes that made Tessa decide to ask about it before they separated for bed.
She knelt in front of Tank, touching his knees until he looked at her. She’d seen him a lot during the first time she’d been there, and she’d also seen more than enough of him the first few weeks after Johnny’s birth.Although he’d still sprouted a million vile and unnecessary comments, his actions had spoken so much louder. He’d helped her as much as he could, supporting her all the time, and getting her to the hospital when he thought nothing else helped.
“Thomas, what is going on?”
His lips curled into a tiny smirk. “Thomas. Must be serious,” he slurred and she sighed.
“We’re not friends. We just happen to care about Jazz a whole damn lot, meaning we’ll actually take care of each other like you did with me for a long while there. So now I’m paying you back. I don’t like owing people anyway.” That wasn’t her reason to help him though, no matter what. Something about him screamed broken heart, and as much as she wished she could ignore that he’d shown up on their doorstep, it was impossible.
“He won’t ever base back. Be back at base. He’ll keep his home. I’ll be alone. Always. He’s happy. A happy fucker. Lucky, too. For you,” Tank stated, his thoughts clearly jumping from topic to topic because she couldn’t quite follow. Especially not when he kept bringing her up and she never, in a million years, would’ve pecked him for someone who’d like a girl like her.
“Sexy and sassy, talking back and drinking… head over heels in love with you. Hugging all of the soldiers like you did… selfless… desperate for you, so much he forgets me. Only you… his only help,” he went on and she sat back on her heels, staring up at him.
“Yes, she is sassy and talking back to you, and he is head over heels in love with her, Tank, but what does that have to do with you? And sometimes soldiers with PTSD need army unrelated things to ground them, which is why Tessa works best for him. She’s the eye of his storm, the center of calm when his world is falling apart. You should’ve known that, Tank, and you should know him enough to realize he’ll be by your side one day soon again. He’s loyal,” Hilary injected, jumping into the conversation as if Tank had made perfect sense.
“To Tessa.”
“And to you, big boy. Now, here, drink up.”
To Tessa’s surprise Tank did exactly that, emptying the glass of water her friend had handed him in less than ten seconds.
“Now stretch out,” Hilary ordered.
“Damn bossy,” Tank muttered, the words only understandable for Tessa because he glowered at Hilary while scooting over on the couch, lifting his feet to rest on the side. Hils untied his shoes, dropping them to the floor while Tank crossed his arms on his chest, jacket and all, and mumbled something about not falling asleep while he drifted off.
Tessa stood, deciding to check on her son while her friend finished up down here. She had to smirk though as Hils set down two pills next to another glass she hadn’t even noticed, and added a note telling Tank to get out of the house after taking the pills and having the water, because they all knew he’d regret his appearance as soon as the alcohol stopped working.
Climbing the stairs, she listened to the silence that descended over the house, and marveled in the calming properties it had. She left John’s door open while leaning over the crib, finding him asleep just as she’d hoped. His head was warm as she cupped it with her hand, then slipped out again.
“What was that down there? That look on your face?” Tessa questioned, catching Hilary just before she slipped into her room.
“Easy. You didn’t see it, did you? Well, you probably wouldn’t recognize it. You don’t feel that way. And how should you with a son and a guy as amazing as Jazz?”
Speaking in riddles, thanks, Hils, Tessa thought, leaning against the wall while sighing. “Saw what?”
“Why do you think he came here? To us, of all people?”
“Because of you.” It honestly had been her first thought after he’d shown. After all, how did that saying go? Teasing is a sign of affection? And those two traded insults unlike anyone she knew.
“No, not because of me. Because he was lonely. In his drunken stage we were the only people he could think of besides Jazz he could go to. And Jazz he can’t visit because… duh, hospital.”
“He has friends at his base. I saw them.” She had, but she suddenly wasn’t sure anymore if she’d call them his friends really. Thinking back, she realized that Jazz always had spoken about Tank and him, and no one else.
“Did you? I mean, you saw them hang out together and—”
“No, I didn’t. You’re right. But us? We are even less friendly with him than his guys.”
“Exactly. No reason to worry that we’ll go around and blabber to all people that he’s looking for a nice girl like you. That he thinks he’ll never deserve one like you.”
Tessa blinked, taken aback.
“That’s what you made out of his garbled mess? That he wants someone like me?” She almost laughed, but Hilary didn’t even crack a smile.
“Yes. I’ve been there. I’ve been the drunken mess knocking on people’s doors and waking up
in the morning, slipping out. I’ve been in his shoes more often than I’d like to admit, but yeah. It takes one to know one, Tess. You’re too good a girl to have been there. In your sadness you travel and read. I wasn’t that innocent. And neither is Tank. His asshole attitude? It screams hurt boy. I just hadn’t seen him drink yet, hadn’t seen him so out of it or I would’ve known before.
“First time you were here, he was always sober around us, responsible and taking care of Evangeline, so I figured he really was just a macho jerk. Or rather the jerk of the century, but now? It all fits. The way he looked after you. He did this so Jazz wouldn’t go off the rails completely, but instead return to base.”
Tessa’s mind was reeling and she wished she could sit down. She definitely needed a moment to process. “He should’ve known that chances were good Jazz wouldn’t live on the base any longer with me in the picture.”
“When sober he probably thinks it’s the best idea ever, just having Jazz around during the day,” Hilary shrugged, “but when he’s in a state like that? It all comes crashing down. All the lies you surrounded yourself with to make you feel good, all the loneliness you’ve been trying to ignore… you can’t hide from your heart when you’re drunk. It was bad for a few months there with me, and then fate made you move in. You’re my friend. A real one. And I can always count on you to talk to me. I don’t need to fear you vanishing from my side because you work here, and you will live close by. And from here on I can pick up the rest of the pieces that have crumbled around me. But he? He has a broken best friend, and nothing else.”
Inside of these walls, this house, there was a world of pain hidden Hilary never had wanted anyone to see, and yet had felt. Tessa knew neither of them was to blame because online you could present what you wanted. However, here, now, she could hug her friend and knew she’d look out for her. It was what friends did.
“You’re the strongest woman out there, Hils,” she whispered, not knowing what else to say when she spotted the tears welling in Hils’ eyes.