She wiped her cheeks. “I can’t help it.”
“Then visit his victims, cos you won’t mourn the scum after that.”
“No, I don’t wanna go anywhere near them.”
“Stop being ignorant, Juliet.”
“Don’t insult me.”
“But you are, and I don’t want cha gettin’ hurt, you’re too precious to me.”
Her angry expression wavered on his last words. “You still make me mad.”
A sad smile played across his lips. “What? Is my insanity catching?”
“Don’t say that, you’re not insane.”
“I feel like it sometimes.”
“Well, you’re not.”
He shrugged. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t, he didn’t know. His phone started ringing in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the number. He swore under his breath then answered it, readying himself for an attack.
Deano Jones’s gruff voice came over the line. “My wife better not be at your house or I’ll rip Dante’s head off!”
“He’s not interested in your woman, he’s fuckin’ my one.”
The line went quiet for a moment, then a loud bark of laughter travelled over it. “That made my day.” Deano’s laughter continued, punctuated by snorts.
“Shut the fuck up, you cunt!”
The laughing stopped. “What the fuck didja you just call me?”
“A cunt, like your fat bastard of a cousin. He knocked me out yesterday.”
“You’re responsible for his room?!”
“No, your wife is.”
“Bullshit! Tell me what you did to him or I’m gonna wipe out your whole family!”
“You keep away from them! I didn’t cause this shit, Len did. He wuz bashing Carly so she shot him.”
“How the fuck can she do that without a bloody gun?”
“I tried to stop Len, but he knocked me out. When I came too, Carly told me she took my gun—” He moved the phone away from his ear, then put it back. “He ain’t dead, she only got him in the arm and shoulder.”
“Only?!” Deano yelled. “He can still bleed to death!”
“Craven’s men are looking after him, so stop bloody yelling at me.”
“Why did he attack her?”
“She wouldn’t leave me alone cos she thought I wuz Dante. She reeked of meth.”
Deano grunted, his breathing still sounding like a bull ready to attack. “Dammit, I told Len he could reel her in if she overstepped the mark, but not to go whole hog on her.”
“Which means he’s pro’bly avoiding you on purpose.”
“The bastard still could’ve told his daughter what wuz happening. She was in tears after seeing his room.”
Poor kid having a father like that, Ash thought. He hoped people didn’t view him in the same way as he did with Len. “Is that enough from me?”
“For now, but if I find out you’re lying, expect a visit.” Deano hung up.
Ash clicked off the phone. “Bastard.”
“Who wuz that?” Juliet asked.
“Deano Jones.”
She pulled a face. “I don’t understand why you’re still delivering to the Joneses.”
“I don’t have a choice; they’re also under Craven’s hand.”
“Still, you should report them to the police after what they did to you.”
“Nah, it’ll only make things worse involving those blue bastards, and the boss’s men will make sure Len and Deano stick to the status quo. Anyway, enough of them, I wanna go visit my li’l boy.”
***
Ash knocked on Tiana’s door, still surprised that she’d visited him in hospital, and even more at the invitation to come see Angelo. He didn’t know what to make of that, because she usually tried her best to keep him away from their son.
He knocked again, hoping she hadn’t changed her mind—like all the other times, leaving him banging on the door like an idiot while she was someplace else. Christ! Please, someone—anyone, answer the fucking door. He started pounding it harder, ignoring Juliet as she told him to be patient. He’d been far too patient already, not something he was willing to do anymore. He exhaled when he heard approaching footsteps. The lock scraped open, then the door flung inwards to reveal Angelo.
Smiling wide, Ash bobbed down and held open his arms. “Kia Ora, Son,” he said, using the Māori greeting for hello.
“Dad!” Angelo bowled into him, almost knocking him into Juliet.
Ash righted himself then picked up Angelo, giving him a little shake he was so happy. His gaze moved down the passage as Tiana appeared. She leaned against the wall, watching them, her expression unreadable. Feeling self-conscious, Ash put Angelo down. It felt almost like she was waiting for him to make a mistake, so she could have an excuse for him not to see Angelo again. Maybe that was why she’d invited him. No, he needed to stop being paranoid and enjoy the visit. He was here to play with Angelo, not to lose his cool over Tiana.
Angelo grabbed his hand. “Come see my room, Dad.”
Ash nodded a hello at Tiana as he was tugged into Angelo’s bedroom. Like SpongeBob, the walls were yellow with posters of the characters from the program along with a few pictures of teenage girls tacked up on the wall.
Ash pointed at the pictures. “Last time I saw you, you hated girls.”
“He loves Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato,” Tiana said.
Ash stared at her blankly, because he had no idea who they were.
“They’re actresses as well as singers,” she added.
“I love Selena the best,” Angelo said, grinning wide, and reminding Ash of how Dante used to look at the same age, his brother’s interest in girls also starting early. God, his li’l boy was growing up far too fast. Although Angelo’s room was a picture of innocence now, Ash knew within a few years it would look a lot different. And that scared him. He wished he could freeze this moment in time before everything changed, and before he lost his sweet little boy completely.
Angelo picked up a rugby ball and threw it at Ash, cutting off his line of thought.
“No throwing balls in the house, Angelo,” Tiana said.
Ash indicated with his head for Angelo to follow him. He took off past Tiana and Juliet, heading through the house with Angelo racing after him. Ash cut through the sunroom, jumped down the back stairs and ran across the backyard, yelling at Angelo to catch him. He dodged his son easily, laughing as Angelo stopped and stomped his foot on the ground. Ash held the ball out, then whipped it back when Angelo went to take it. Grinning, he held it out again, this time letting Angelo have it before his son threw a major tantrum. Angelo ran off with the ball, heading for the long clothesline.
“You’re too fast for me, son,” Ash said, pretending he couldn’t catch him.
“Slow coach, slow coach—” Angelo squealed as Ash ran at him again. “No!”
Ash grabbed him and lifted him over his shoulder, spinning him in a circle. Angelo squealed louder, the ball flying out of his hands. Ash put him down, watching as Angelo picked up the ball and flung himself under the clothesline, like he was making a try.
Tiana called out, asking if he wanted a drink. Ash turned and shaded his eyes with a hand, the sunlight coming over the rooftop too bright. “Coffee. Make sure it’s—”
“Black, I know. You two play a bit longer, then come inside for food.”
Transfixed by the moment, Ash watched her disappear inside the house. Her standing there like that, calling out to him while he played with their son ... it hurt. He missed this, wanted to do it every day, but he never got what he wanted, just had to live. Christ, when did he give up?
Angelo ran at him, ploughing into his knees. Taken by surprise, Ash fell down with Angelo landing on top of him. Before Angelo could scamper away, he grabbed his son and gave him a hug. Angelo wiggled about, shouting at him to let go; probably thinking it was all part of the game. Ash released him and sat up, watching as his son ran off with the ball again, happy that the boy was so carefree, th
e opposite of what he’d been like at nine. He’d had to contend with his father’s violent temper, something that had eventually ruined his parents’ marriage.
Tiana called out for them to come inside. Ash got to his feet and wiped the grass off his jeans, then followed Angelo into the house. They entered the lounge, where Juliet and Tiana were sitting with biscuits and hot drinks in hand. Angelo grabbed a handful of biscuits off the coffee table then turned on the TV, getting a scolding from Tiana. He ignored her and sat down, flicking through the channels until he found a cartoon he liked.
Tiana shook her head, then focused on Ash. “Juliet told me ’bout that creature escaping.”
Ash picked up his coffee, wishing she didn’t have to bring his stepfather up.
“Juliet also tells me you’re goin’ back home. That’s not a good idea, that’s the second place he’d go to.” She left the first place unsaid, Ash’s childhood home having been sold a long time ago.
“I’ll be fine,” Ash said.
“No, it’s not safe. Please be sensible.”
“Like Beth said, I’m not a kid anymore; and I can take Chaz on—that’s if he shows. And anyway, the cops said they would be patrolling my street.” Which was unfortunate since it was going to make business damn hard. He just hoped they weren’t there all of the time.
Tiana’s face darkened. “You should report Beth for hitting you.”
“Eh?” He wondered how she knew about that, because he’d only told... He glanced at Juliet, who looked down, her expression guilty, which meant that Tiana probably also knew about Dante and Beth. Bloody great!
He put his mug on the table and grabbed a biscuit. “It wuz only one slap,” he mumbled, before stuffing it into his mouth.
“You still can’t let her get away with it. That’s domestic violence.”
“Talk about an overreaction.” He went silent, clicking onto why she’d gotten upset. Her mother used to slap her, which had stopped Tiana from even smacking Angelo’s hand. “She didn’t hit me that hard,” he finally added, hoping it would satisfy her.
“You’re too forgiving,” Tiana said.
He snorted. “Me forgiving? You must be thinking of your other ex.”
Tiana’s face darkened. “You damn well know I’ve only been with you.”
“How would I know, people tell me shi...” He glanced over at Angelo, “stuff all the time that isn’t true.”
“I don’t lie.”
Oh, yes, you do, like all the times you said I could visit Angelo, then reneged. “Look, I didn’t come here to argue. And how would I know what you do now? It’s not like I’m part of your life anymore, I’m barely part of Angelo’s, which you need to fix, cos I’m not putting up with it anymore.”
“I’m letting you see him now.”
“Letting me?” Ash shook his head, thinking it was bloody rich of her. “Well, I guess I should thank you for letting me see my own son.”
Juliet stood up. “Angelo, you wanna play with me outside?”
“Nah, Ben 10’s on.”
“I’ll give you five bucks if you can catch me.” Juliet took off through the kitchen.
Angelo jumped up and ran after her, shouting for her to slow down.
Ash watched them as they left, too angry to look at Tiana.
“I’m sorry, Ash,” she said. “Everything’s coming out wrong. You just wind me up.”
“Me?” He turned back to her. “What did I do?”
She appeared uncomfortable, her cheeks rosier than normal. “I get flustered around you.”
“I don’t see why. Not like you care about me.”
“Don’t say that, of course I care.”
“Yeah, right.” He folded his arms, wishing she was telling the truth, and that she didn’t look so damn hot. She even had makeup on, not something she tended to wear much of. Plus, her blouse was showing off her tits. He could see the space between her bra, the mounds on either side... His eyes snapped up to her face, realising what he was doing—and what she was doing. She’d hardly ever got dressed up. His eyes narrowed. “Who’re you dolling up for? Have you got a guy coming round?”
Her mouth fell open.
He grimaced. “Yeah, you do, don’t you. Didja bring me here to rub it in my face? Well, you can think again, cos no jumped-up wannabe father is allowed anywhere near my boy.”
“I told you I’m not goin’ out with anyone.”
“Then why the hell are your tits hanging out?”
“My breasts are not hanging out! And why’re you being such an arse?”
“Can’t take that title from you, darling.”
“Ash! You’re unbelievable. I’m trying to be nice to you and all you’re doin’ is insulting me.”
“Then don’t lie to me! Who are you goin’ out with? Cos it’s stopping right now.”
“I’m not lying, and you have a damn nerve. I never came over to your place and demanded you leave Beth.”
“Cos you don’t care about me.”
“I do so, I love you!”
“People tell me they love me all the time, but it doesn’t mean it’s true.”
“God, you frustrate me! There is no other man, for goodness sakes, I’m dressing up for you, you blind fool.”
Ash went to retort, then stopped, her words finally filtering through.
Looking embarrassed, she dropped her gaze. “You’re the only one I’ve ever dressed up for.”
“But why?” he said, not understanding any of this. She’d left him, usually avoided him, it didn’t make sense.
“After Juliet told me what happened with Beth, I’ve been thinking that maybe, if you want... um... we could possibly start dating.”
“You wanna date me?” Ash said in disbelief. “But you hate me.”
“I’ve already told you that I love you,” she said, looking annoyed again. “So, stop questioning me.”
“But, you left me, and you hardly ever lemme see Angelo.”
She moved closer, making him nervous, even more so when she placed a hand on his leg. “I never wanted to leave you, I told you that.”
“But, you still did, and if you really loved me you would’ve stayed.”
“You know I have issues with you dealing. You were putting all of us in danger.”
“Then why’re you even speaking to me, cos I can’t give it up; you know I’ve tried. Craven’s got me by the balls.”
“Cos being away from you is driving me crazy. I thought I could cope, but I can’t, it hurts too much, which is why I ran every time you came over. It wasn’t about you seeing Angelo, it was about me seeing you and knowing I couldn’t have you. But, I can’t take it any longer and when I heard you’d left Beth I thought... God, I want you so much, Ash.”
Ash stared at her stunned, then reached out to wipe a runaway tear cutting a path down her cheek, but retracted his hand at the last second. He didn’t want to jump head first into a relationship, giving his all when she would probably leave him again. But he wanted her so badly, needed her, because their separation had driven him into a depression. God, he should never have gotten into another relationship after Tiana had walked out, because in all truth, he had cheated on Beth, not physically, but emotionally, because Tiana had been a shadow in the back of his mind, something that had been more damaging than Beth sleeping with Dante.
“Ash?” Tiana said, her voice cracking. “Please say sumpthin’.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“That you’re willing to gimme another chance.”
God, why the hell wasn’t he shouting yes?
She started fidgeting with her skirt. “You could even stay here while the police search for that creature. I know Angelo would love it, and I ... I would too.”
This was what he wanted, what he’d dreamed of, yet he found it hard to answer her. He knew she would never come to his place, but right now he wasn’t sure he cared.
“Ash, please answer me.”
“Okay,” he said, barely getti
ng it out.
“Okay, as in you’ll gimme another chance?” she said, looking hopeful.
“Yes.”
A huge smile instantly washed away her worried expression. She moved up close, her face only a kiss away. “I meant it when I said I love you. And there’s been no one else.”
Thinking he was definitely dreaming, his eyes lowered to her mouth. She bit her bottom lip, making him forget why they’d argued.
She placed a hand on his chest, saying “I love you” in Tongan, then leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips.
All thought went out of his head. His mind was clear for the first time in ages, but his body went into overdrive. He grabbed her head and kissed her back roughly, because it had been far too long.
18
Juliet
Juliet re-entered the house, surprised, yet extremely happy to see Ash and Tiana kissing. She grabbed Angelo before her nephew could ruin the moment, quickly directing him back out the door. Ash deserved happiness, and that was to have his family back and to be done with Beth, because the Connors were nothing but users... Okay, maybe not Naf, especially after he’d defended her against Sledge. Apart from Ash, no guy had ever done something like that. She frowned, still annoyed with Aroha for saying those things about Naf. He wasn’t unattractive, just a bit messy at times, and maybe he shouldn’t eat so much, but if it made him happy, why not? He still had a nice face and he was usually easy to talk to, and he was never stingy with sharing his stuff...
“Aunty J.” Angelo tugged on her arm, snapping her thoughts away from Naf. “Why can’t we go back in?”
She ruffled his hair. He had the same messy black waves as his father, the type that made you want to mess it up even more. “Cos your mum and dad are kissing.”
He pulled a face. “Ewww.”
She laughed. “Maybe, but it’s still a good thing.”
He wrinkled his nose. “Why? It’s gross.”
“Cos it means they might get back together.”
His face brightened. “Really?”
“Yup. Would you like that?”
“Yeah! And Dad can come live with us.”
“Um, I’m not sure ’bout that, he has his own home.”
Behind the Tears (Behind the Lives) Page 16