Behind the Tears (Behind the Lives)

by Hansen, Marita A.

“But he should live with me.”

  “I agree, but we’ll see what he says first, okay?”

  “Nah ah, I’m gonna tell him now.”

  Juliet grabbed him as he went to run past her. “No, you don’t, you’ll see them kissing.”

  He wiggled free. “But I wanna tell him.”

  “Wait until they finish.”

  He scrunched up his face, like he was about to throw a tantrum, then planted his butt on the grass.

  Juliet sat next to him, watching as he started pulling out grass. “Whatcha doin’?”

  “Making confetti for when they get married.”

  Smiling, Juliet started pulling out grass too. Although she didn’t think Ash would ever get married, it didn’t stop her from hoping that he would eventually ask Tiana. She liked Tiana, always had, and was annoyed when she’d left Ash. And when Beth had come along, it had annoyed her even more, because she could see that Beth wasn’t right for him.

  Her phone went off. She pulled it out of her jeans’ pocket, checking who it was before answering. “W’sup, Aroha?”

  “Not much, where are you?”

  “At Tiana’s. Guess what?” Juliet said, excited to tell someone the news, then barrelled ahead before Aroha could reply. “Ash and Tiana are kissing. I think they might get back together.”

  “But what about Beth?”

  “He’s broken up with her; she cheated on him with Dante.”

  “Yeah, I can believe that, Dante’s a horndog.”

  “Don’t call him that,” Juliet said, not sure why she was defending him when Aroha was right.

  “Well, it’s true. He causes so much trouble. Ash does too. Those two are right arseholes.”

  “Don’t you dare insult Ash!”

  “Dante not worth defending?”

  “Not at the moment.” Juliet glanced down at Angelo. He looked up at her with a quizzical expression. “And Ash is a sweetheart,” she said, pointing at the ground for Angelo to continue what he was doing.

  “Don’t make me laugh, he’s a...” Aroha stopped.

  “He’s a what?” Juliet said, trying to control her voice, although she wanted to yell.

  “Nuthin’, I don’t really know him that well.”

  “Yes, cos if you did you’d know he wuz lovely.”

  “Yeah, I’m sorry,” Aroha said, sounding anything but.

  “And so you should be, and why’re you calling me anyway, is Corey okay?”

  “Yeah, Naf told me all about the fight, shame I missed it. I would’ve loved to see your bro’s face when Corey came out. It would’ve been classic.”

  “Why’re you being so horrible?” Juliet ground out.

  “Sheesh, you’re a bit touchy today. And Corey’s fine, he’s just got bruised ribs. Hardly sumpthin’ I’d take him to the hospital for. Though, you’re a right love to be concerned ’bout that li’l bugger...” She started sniggering. “Shouldn’t have said bugger with Corey. I wonder whether he’s a top or a bottom.”

  “Aroha!”

  “If he’s after Sledge then I’d say a bottom, and a very sore one if he succeeds, cos your bro looks like he’s got a third leg down there, it’s so fucking huge. Got an eyeful once when I walked in on him while he wuz showering.”

  “Don’t talk ’bout Sledge like that.”

  Aroha started laughing. “Sorry, can’t help making a right arse of myself, but gotta say he has the biggest slong I’ve seen hanging free. Wonder what it looks like hard?”

  Juliet hung up. She went to pocket the phone, then grunted as it started ringing. She answered. “What do you want now?”

  “Don’t hang up again,” Aroha answered. “I rang for a reason.”

  “Then stop grossing me out.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I’ll watch my dirty mouth. I just needa know where Ash and Dante are staying.”

  “Why?”

  “The cops wanna know.”

  “They can get stuffed, and why would they ask you?”

  “They rang Sledge, but, as you know, he isn’t home. Plus, I still needa know, cos I hafta give sumpthin’ to Ash.”

  “Well, I don’t know where Dante is, but I overheard Tiana ask Ash to stay with her. My guess is, with the way those two are kissing, he’ll say yes.”

  “What’s her address so I can bring this shit over?” Aroha laughed, then the phone went silent.

  “Aroha? You still there?”

  Sniggering was heard again. “Sorry.”

  “What’re you laughing at? And what do ya have for Ash?”

  “You’re a curious li’l birdie, but I can’t tell you, cos it’s not my place to go ruining surprises.”

  “Is it for his birthday?” Juliet asked, intensely curious. She loved birthday presents, and had spent ages looking for the perfect one for Ash.

  “Yeah,” Aroha said. “Look, I’ve got stuff to do, so can I just have the address? I’ve gotta get back to Naf. He gets so frickin’ jealous when I don’t pay him attention.”

  “Sure, it’s 8 Stanley Road. It’s not far from Sylvia Park.”

  “Ta, hun, and I’ll see ya at dinner. Make sure you’re not late cos I’m shouting pizza. Actually, turn up early otherwise Naf will bloody eat it all. He’s a right pig.”

  “Don’t call him that, he treats you with respect,” even though you don’t deserve it, “So, you should treat him the same way.” Yeah, Ash was right, she did look for the good in people, but maybe some of them, like Aroha, didn’t have enough. “And I’m not taking you to see...” Juliet stopped, realising she couldn’t take Aroha to see Tama anyway.

  “To see Tama?” Aroha said, her voice going soft, like she was upset.

  “You know what happened to him?”

  “No! He’s not dead; I don’t care what anyone says, he’s too hot to die. So, you shut it now.” Someone yelled behind Aroha. “And you shut the fuck up too!”

  “Aroha! What has gotten into you?”

  “Just don’t mention Tama again. And you too, you arsehole, or I’ll rip you a new one,” Aroha spat at whoever was on the other side, most likely Naf. God, the poor guy didn’t deserve to be treated like that, especially since Tama was actually his friend and not Aroha’s. Aroha should be supporting, not upsetting him. Now, all Juliet wanted to do was to get home to make sure that Naf was alright, because it must be tearing him apart.

  “Stop yelling at Naf!” Juliet shouted.

  “Eh? I’m not yelling at—” Aroha hung up.

  Juliet stared at the phone speechless, then re-pocketed it, doing her best to push the horrible woman out of her mind, because Aroha wasn’t going to ruin her day after seeing Ash and Tiana together again. She got to her feet. “I’ll get a bag for all that confetti you’re making,” she said to Angelo, who was also making a right mess, his hands covered in mud and grass, along with his trackpants.

  He jumped up and grabbed his crotch. “I needa go for a mimi,” he said, using the Māori word for pee.

  “Lemme check if your mum and dad have stopped kissing first.”

  He started jogging on the spot. “But I needa go. Now!”

  “Just wait a mo.” Juliet headed inside, and peered through the space in between the cupboards and the glass cabinet. Ash had Tiana pinned to the couch as he basically mauled the poor woman.

  Juliet cleared her throat.

  Ash shot upright. He looked over his shoulder, his worried expression turning into a cheeky grin when he spotted Juliet. She hadn’t seen him smile like that in ages, the expression more associated with Dante.

  “Needa make it PG,” Juliet said. “The li’l boy has to go for a mimi.”

  Next second Angelo flashed past, squealing for the toilet.

  Ash laughed, his happy expression making Juliet smile. She walked into the lounge. “So, what’s new, pussycat?” she asked him.

  He continued to grin, his eyes sparkling.

  Looking flustered, Tiana smoothed down her top and skirt. “Ash is moving in until they catch that creature.”

&
nbsp; Juliet nodded, thinking that Ash wasn’t as unforgiving as he thought he was. “Cool, Angelo will be happy, and by the way, he’s making confetti out of grass for your wedding.”

  Ash’s smile dropped. “That ain’t ever gonna happen.”

  Tiana made a huffing sound.

  Ash turned back to her. “You know my views on marriage.”

  “It doesn’t mean I agree with them.”

  “For chrissake, we’ve only just gotten back together, and marriage is being brought up? For all I know you could dump my sorry arse tomorrow.”

  She exhaled. “Look who’s jumping the shotgun. I didn’t mention marriage; I just disagree with the way you look at it like a death knell.”

  “It wuz for my mum with both her marriages, the second one literally.” He slumped back into the couch, his spark of happiness gone.

  “You’re not your mother, Ash, so you needa stop relating her life to yours and live your own.”

  “I am, which is why marriage is not for me.”

  “What would change your mind ’bout marrying someone then? Cos obviously love doesn’t come into the equation with you.”

  “Just cos I didn’t marry you doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it’s cos I love you so much that I don’t want to.”

  Tiana’s face went still. “You really mean that?”

  Ash fidgeted, looking intensely uncomfortable. “Yeah, though fuck knows why after the way you treated me.”

  Juliet kicked Ash’s leg. “Don’t ruin the moment, you sod.”

  He pulled a face at her, then looked back at Tiana. “And I don’t see what a ring would do to change how I feel.”

  “Exactly. Marriage wouldn’t change my feelings towards you either.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that; I meant there’s no point in marriage.”

  “What about your son? Doesn’t he deserve us to be married?”

  “You’re wheedling me into a corner, twisting everything. Didja put Juliet up to mentioning marriage?”

  “No.”

  “Then stop harping on ’bout it then. Only yesterday I wuz with Beth, and I still don’t know where you and me are with things. For all I know you could pack up and leave me hanging again. You haven’t exactly earned my trust.”

  “Sorry, it’s just a sore point when you get all defensive over marriage.”

  “With me too.”

  Tiana took his hand. “I won’t talk about it again; I’m just happy... No, ecstatic we’re dating.”

  “Ecstatic?” His smile resurfaced. “And dating sounds teenagerous.”

  “Teenagerous isn’t even a word.”

  “What? You saying I don’t speak good England?”

  “You always say that!” She pounced on him, making him laugh and squirm as she tickled him.

  “You two are like teenagers,” Juliet said. “Mad one second, happy the next. Anyway, I hafta go to work soon. You need a lift to get any clothes, Ash?”

  Ash grabbed Tiana’s arms and pushed her flat on the couch. “Don’t need my PJs, that’s for sure.”

  Tiana laughed. “You don’t wear PJs.”

  He grinned. “Oh yeah.”

  Juliet rolled her eyes. “PG, people, PG. The boy could walk in and be scarred for life. Hell, you’re scarring me.”

  “Guess I should go back and grab some stuff,” Ash said, getting to his feet. “I’ll just say bye to Angelo and then we can take off, cos I wanna get back quick. Tiana’s promised me a full roast dinner along with Pavlova and sex.”

  “I did not, you rude man,” Tiana said.

  He smirked. “Okay, but I still want the Pavlova and sex.”

  Tiana stood up, a shy smile now on her face. “If you put Angelo to bed tonight we’ll see.”

  Juliet covered her ears. “Stoppit, my ears are bleeding.”

  Ash gave Tiana a kiss, then walked towards the door as Angelo came out. “He grabbed his son and lifted him up, his nose wrinkling. “Boy, do you even know what toilet-paper’s for?”

  Angelo squealed. “Lemme down!”

  Ash put him down and gave him a hug. “I’m gonna go get some stuff, then I’ll be back. Okay?”

  “Can I come?”

  Ash glanced over at Tiana, who shook her head. He grimaced.

  “Sorry, Ash, let’s take it one step at a time, aye? Plus, he really does stink.” Tiana steered Angelo towards the bathroom. “Righto, Skidmarks, bath-time.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Bye, Juliet. And see ya soon, Ash. Lock the door on the way out,” she shouted as she disappeared into the bathroom with Angelo.

  Juliet patted Ash’s back. “Looks like things might work out.”

  “We’ll see.”

  19

  Beth

  Beth drove towards her old home in a daze. She couldn’t believe what had happened, all because she’d been stupid enough to tell Josie. She should never have taken that damned photo in the first place, not only because it was wrong, but because she’d violated Dante’s trust. God, the look on his face when he realised what she’d done broke her. She wiped a stray tear as she turned onto Pleasant Parade, knowing she was an idiot for approaching him so soon, but she had to make things right straight away, because she had a bad feeling he was going to skip town.

  A white van pulled away from the kerb as she neared the house, driving off in the opposite direction. She parked a few properties down, working up the courage to go inside. But then again, he might not even be home, because once she’d scraped herself together, she’d driven straight over while he had to walk.

  Her gaze brushed over Ash’s green Chevy, then flicked back to it. Oh, hell no! She couldn’t face him too. With everything that had happened with Dante she’d completely forgotten Ash was getting out of hospital today.

  She lowered her forehead onto the steering wheel, breathing in and out to stop from hyperventilating. She didn’t know how long she stayed like that for, but a car driving past made her look up. The vehicle stopped in Dante’s driveway, letting him out, then reversed and drove off, the driver one of his mates who lived not far from Josie. Dante stood for a while, staring up the road at her car. She wanted to go to him, but knew it was a bad idea to do so in public, especially with their busybody neighbour mowing his front lawn two doors down.

  Beth gripped the steering wheel as Dante disappeared inside the house. “You can do this,” she muttered. No, you can’t, her mind countered. She put her forehead back onto the steering wheel, fighting with herself, then jumped when someone rapped on the car bonnet. She looked up to see old man Murphy and his wrinkles staring at her through the window. She wound it down and forced a smile. “Hello, Mr. Murphy.”

  “You alright, dear?” he said, looking concerned.

  “Yes, I’m just tired.”

  “Then why did you park all the way down here?”

  She shrugged, not knowing what to say.

  “You can tell me, dear,” he said. “Because I’ve been rather concerned over what’s been happening at your place lately, especially with that ambulance turning up last night.”

  “Ash hurt his head, but he’s alright now.”

  “Did he have a fight with his brothers again?”

  “No, they didn’t cause it.”

  “Well, you really should consider finding someone else, because those Rata boys are ruffians. You’re far too sweet to be associating with the likes of them.”

  Beth smiled. The man may be overly nosey, but he was a sweetheart. “I should go in now. I need to speak to Dante.”

  “Okay, then you take care and pop in for a visit anytime you want a chat.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Murphy.”

  “My pleasure.” With a wave, he was off. Although he was an old fella, he was a very active one, the type she couldn’t imagine ever going into a retirement home.

  She got out of the car and willed herself forward, waving at Mr. Murphy as he restarted his lawnmower. She entered the Rata property through the driveway, then came to a standstill at the front door, fea
r again making her hesitate. “Do it,” she said, now getting annoyed with herself. She unlocked the door and slipped inside.

  Shaking, she headed for hers and Ash’s bedroom, relieved that at least he wasn’t there, then moved onto Dante’s. She poked her head through the doorway, taken aback by the state of the room. It was like a tornado had ripped through it, scattering CDs and clothes all over the place, along with cardboard boxes. And in the middle of the mess stood Dante. He had his back to her, swearing as he picked up a suitcase, which he threw at the wall.

  “Dante!” she blurted out.

  He jolted, then slowly turned around. He looked like a wild man with his bare chest, tattoos, messy hair and dark eyes. She wondered whether he’d shot up on cocaine, because he didn’t look completely sane.

  “Get out!” he hollered.

  His words ran through her like a bolt of electricity, making her muscles jump and twitch with fear. “P-Please lemme explain.”

  “No!”

  He started advancing on her. She stumbled out of the room and down the passage, his body language screaming at her to get the hell out of there, because he looked like he wanted to wrap his hands around her neck and snap it. She squealed as he reached out, but his hand moved past, pulling the passage door shut behind her.

  Her back hit the door. “I-I didn’t mean f-for this to happen,” she said, her words broken by crying.

  “Don’t you dare cry.” He hit the door behind her, the reverberations running down her spine.

  “You’re scaring me.”

  “Then fuck off!”

  “B-But, you’re holding the door shut.”

  His lips twitched, then he took a step backwards. When she didn’t make a move, he narrowed his eyes. “What’re you waiting for?”

  “I wanna make things right.”

  “You can’t.”

  “But I have to. I love you.”

  “No, you fuckin’ don’t!” He spun around and headed back into his room, slamming the door behind him.

  Beth stood rooted to the spot, both wanting and not wanting to leave, because if she did, she knew there wouldn’t be a way back into his life. She was right: he was going to take off, because he’d been packing.

  She jumped at the sound of a crash. Loud swearing followed. He had a right to be angry, and to chew her up and spit her out; she just wished he didn’t look so scary while doing it.