“What kind of a life is it?” he asks softly. “A single mother living paycheck to paycheck, with a rebellious daughter and a disabled mom. You could have told me about Lex earlier, and I could have helped, could have—”
“I’m not going down that road again,” I say. “You have to accept the past if you expect to have any kind of a future.”
“And do we have a future?” he asks. “Are you going to let me be a part of my daughter’s life?”
“It’s up to her,” I say. “I’m not heartless. If Lex wants to meet you, wants to talk to you, then she can.” It’s hard to say those words. I’m pissed at Ax and his stubbornness, still stung by his accusation, despite his apology. Still, I won’t deprive either of them of the other, even if my natural urge is to hide my daughter away and keep her safe from the heartache Ax can cause.
Lord knows he’s broken my heart more than once.
“Do you mean it, Mom?”
I turn my head to find Lex standing at the screen door. I scrub my hands over my face, wondering how long she’s been there, and how much she heard.
“I mean it,” I say after a pause, and Lex opens the screen door and steps outside. She seems to be moving in slow motion, and I realize my baby girl is nervous.
“Hello, Alexa,” Ax says as she comes to a stop in front of him. “I’m Ax. And I’m sorry for the way I behaved last time I was here. I shouldn’t have left like that.”
Alexa leans her head back to look up at her towering father. “It’s okay. I think we were both surprised,” she says, shooting an anxious look in my direction.
“You can say that again.” Ax laughs.
“What are you doing here?”
“Brought back your mom’s car. Jim finished fixing it so I thought I’d drive it up here and drop it off.”
Lex stares at him for a moment, then looks back at me. “Can I invite him in for supper?”
I take a deep breath. The thought of spending the evening meal staring across the table at Ax is bordering on nightmare territory. But I can’t say no, now that I’ve started down this path.
“Sure,” I say, putting my arm around her shoulder.
“Would you like to stay for supper?” she asks.
Ax nods. “If you got room for one more.”
“Let’s go inside,” she says, holding her hand out to him.
I watch as he looks at her, hesitating. Then a wide smile covers his face, and he pulls her little hand into his much larger one. “Lead the way.”
I follow as my daughter and her father enter the house together. I’m filled with anxiety, unsure how the interaction will go. Lex has decided to talk to me again, and Ax has decided I’m not the slut he thought I was. But when something is too good to be true, it usually is.
The tacos are still warm when we reach the kitchen. Lex points Ax to the seldom-used fourth chair, and my mother’s eyes are wide as saucers when she sees him take his seat.
“Mom, Lex invited Ax to join us for supper tonight.”
My mom swallows, then nods and tries on a small smile. “Nice to have you,” she says, remembering her manners. At heart, my mother is a good Southern woman, and politeness is a requirement not easily shed, even though she advised me to sever my connection with Ax.
“Looks good,” Ax says, rubbing his hands together.
“Mom’s a good cook,” Lex says, and my heart expands a little. I watch as my daughter starts filling up his plate, stacking tacos on it, then scooping out some of the potato dish. “These are fiesta tots,” she says with pride. “They’re delicious.”
“I bet they are,” he says, then pops one in his mouth. “Mmmm.”
Lex smiles and my chest feels like it is being squeezed in a press. I want Lex to get to know her father, as I realize how important it is to her. But I can’t help but be afraid at the consequences of an attachment to Ax.
He’s not the type to stick around, is he? And once my little girl falls in love with him, how hard will it be when he eventually leaves Cape Craven for parts unknown, or worse, for the penitentiary?
I try to ignore the fear that chokes me and pick up my own taco. There is a silence around the table that ratchets up my tension. I chew, my eyes flicking to my daughter. She hasn’t touched her plate, instead keeping her eyes trained on her father. Ax, for his part, is tucking into his food like a starved man. I remember that home-cooked meals were probably few and far between in his recent past. Even my meager Mexican offerings must seem like a feast after prison food.
“Where have you been?” Lex says suddenly, and I drop my taco as I flinch. “You’ve been gone for a long, long time.”
Ax puts down his taco and pats his mouth with his paper napkin. “You’re right. I have been.”
“So where were you?” My daughter isn’t the type to give up easily.
“Several places,” Ax replies after a short delay. “I was in the military for a while, and they sent me far away.”
“You were fighting bad guys?” Lex says, and I hear the note of wonder in her voice. I remember the oral report when she said that her father was a spy hunting America’s enemies overseas. I can almost see her building the pedestal beneath her prodigal father.
“Something like that,” he says, looking away. “Then I came back here for a bit, but I was accused of a crime I didn’t commit and sent to prison.”
Lex nods. “The kids at school told me that. You’re a convict.”
Ax lets out a breath. “I did my time. But I didn’t do what they accused me of.”
“It doesn’t matter, does it?” Lex says. “Once they say you did it, it sticks.”
I fight back the tears. Lex is identifying with Ax’s story. She’s faced enough adversity from her bullies to find a kindred soul.
I pray to God that Ax doesn’t pull his usual disappearing act. Even if he and I can’t be together, Lex clearly needs him in her life. If he takes off again or gets dragged back to prison, she’s likely to be permanently traumatized.
I push my plate of tacos away, my appetite fading. Please God, please don’t let him hurt my baby. He can hurt me all he wants, and I’ll survive, but please don’t let him hurt her. That’s one thing I can’t bear.
35
Ax
The dinner is both more and less awkward than I expect. Sure, it’s awkward, sharing a table with Sabrina’s mother, who I’m fairly certain isn’t rushing to give me her seal of approval, and our daughter, who has a knack for asking sensitive questions with no guile.
And then there’s Sabrina herself. Her face is pale, her hands trembling. I know this can’t be easy on her. But it’s the first step in the right direction, a step toward healing the breach between us.
A step toward coming together as a family.
When I believed the Sitwell bitch’s lies, the chance of that family faded away to almost nothing. But that spark of hope inside me has been rekindled, brought back from the edge of death. Seeing Lex smile at me makes it burn brighter.
Still, Sabrina’s reaction doesn’t bode well. I know she’s upset, and that she isn’t eager to encourage a connection between Lex and myself. I can’t really blame her. I’ve been a complete asshole lately.
I can’t believe what I did to Sabrina. What I said. I’m pretty sure I’ll never get over the shame of those false accusations. But I have to push past it if I’m ever going to get what I want. And I want Sabrina and our daughter. I want the family I’ve dreamed about.
It’s going to be an uphill battle, but I’m not the type to give up. Not when I need something this bad.
We finish up dinner and Lex asks if I’d like a creamsicle for dessert. I shake my head but thank her for the offer.
Sabrina reminds Lex that it’s getting late and she hasn’t finished her math homework yet. Lex rolls her eyes and opens her mouth to complain, but Sabrina wags a finger at her. “You will do your homework, and then you’ll finish up your chores.”
Lex’s gaze flicks to mine, and I nod, smiling. The li
ttle girl sighs, admitting defeat. I move closer to her, ruffling her hair. “Thanks for inviting me to dinner, kiddo. Those fiesta tots are something special.”
“I know, right?” She smiles, but a fragile look flashes in her eyes. “You won’t be a stranger, will you?”
I shake my head. “No, honey, I won’t. You’ll see me around.”
“Good,” she says with a quick nod. “Then I’ll see you later. Multiplication waits for no one.” With that, my daughter jogs off down the hallway.
I let out a laugh and see that Sabrina’s mother is laughing with me. “She’s quite a kid,” I say to the beaming grandmother.
“Lil Devil is a handful,” she says, then moves to stand, a look of strain crossing her face. Her hip must be bothering her. It reminds me of the pressure this family is under. They could use another pair of hands, that’s clear. But will they welcome one, I wonder.
“I’m going to take Ax home,” Sabrina says. “He brought back the old bitch.”
My mother frowns at my language. “I’ll assume you mean your car.”
I nod. “Yeah. The least I can do is give him a lift home.”
“Sounds good,” her mother replies. “I’ll make sure Lil Devil gets her homework done, and her chores finished up. Take your time.”
I follow Sabrina as she leads me through the house. It’s small, old, and with plenty of places that could use a little fixing up. She’s brought our daughter up here, facing poverty and overwork with no safety net. Guilt rises inside me.
Sabrina unlocks the car, and we climb inside. She smiles when it turns over right away. I’m relieved that at least I could do one thing to help her. It might not make up for ten years of abandonment, but it’s better than nothing.
The ride is quiet, the tension as thick as fleas on a dog’s back. I have to do something to diffuse it if I can.
“Thank you for letting me stay. I know it wasn’t easy.”
Sabrina nods, taking a deep breath. “If Lex wants you in her life, I won’t deny her. But I will warn you, if you hurt her in any way, I’ll come for you.”
Her words warm my insides. I like the protective momma bear vibe from her. I know she’ll always do right by our daughter, which makes it even more ludicrous that I’d accused her of what I had. She wouldn’t take up with a string of guys with a young daughter at home. Sabrina isn’t like that, and I shouldn’t have believed she is, even for a second.
“I’m sorry, Sabrina,” I say, pulling her hand into mine. “I don’t know how I let that shit get to me. I should have known better. There is no excuse for what I did.”
Sabrina doesn’t answer me, just stares at the road. My anxiety rises. I can’t let this stand between us, or it will always be there.
“Can you forgive me?” I ask softly. “Maybe not right away, but someday?”
Her sigh is heavy. “I don’t know what to do,” she replies, her voice small. “Everything in my life is upside down. I won’t keep Lex from you, but I won’t admit to being happy about this development. As I told you before, being tied to the Cravens isn’t easy in this town. Case in point, someone filled your ears with lies about me, lies that pushed us both to do things we didn’t want to do.”
Pushed us both. What had it forced Sabrina to do?
Admit that she belonged to me?
I ignore the embarrassment and anxiety and strive to show her how serious I am. “I’m sorry. That Sitwell woman played me like an instrument. I should have realized she was full of shit, but I didn’t know she was Lex’s teacher until Jim helped me put the pieces together.”
“Samantha Sitwell told you I slept around?” Her tone is neutral, but her face looks like a piece of fine china falling toward a concrete floor. She is seconds away from shattering into a million pieces.
“Yes. That day you saw us together. She was filling my head with lies about you.”
“Which is why you almost ran me down on your bike and carried me back to your lair to punish me. It all makes sense now.”
“There is no excuse for my behavior.” I run my hand through my hair, taking a deep breath. “I’m having a hard time figuring out who I can trust. This week has been challenging, to put it mildly.”
I explain about the pills I took from my father’s house and the pharmacist’s explanations. Then I mention my accident, and I tell her how I went to the Hampstead house to observe the guys living there.
“They’re mercenaries, likely hired by my brother,” I inform her. “They ran me off the road, at best as a warning, and at worst as attempted murder.”
Her eyes widen. “You think your brother is trying to kill you.”
“I can’t prove it,” I reply, “but this isn’t the first time I’ve suspected him. In prison, I fucked up enough guys who came at me to rate a solo bunk. I have a feeling my brother might have sent those guys in my direction.”
“And he paid the guys in the SUV to try and run you over?”
I nod. “That’s my theory, yes.”
“So you think Brent is trying to have you killed, while at the same time drugging your father to keep him out of the business?”
“It looks like it.”
Sabrina remains silent as she pulls down the long driveway to my cabin. The car stops, but she doesn’t turn it off. I assume she wants me to get out. I consider inviting her in, but I’m afraid of her answer.
Instead, I try to end on a positive note. “I had fun tonight with Lex. I’m looking forward to spending more time with her.”
Sabrina’s face goes from icy to heated in a flash. A sudden look of fury appears. “You fucking Cravens,” she spits out. “You drag the whole town into your melodrama. So busy fighting over your billions, you don’t care who you hurt along the way.”
Her rage seems to bubble up from nowhere, and I’m blindsided. I lift my hands defensively. “I don’t give a shit about the billions. My brother is the one who wants me out of the way.”
“Which makes you just as dangerous to be around. You just told me he’s trying to kill you, and you want me to let you hang out with my daughter? What if Brent’s assassins decide to come after you when you’re with Lex?”
I shake my head, sliding across the seat to try and hold her. “I’m not going to let that happen, Sabrina.”
She pulls away. “You can’t promise that!” She’s on the verge of hysterical, but she won’t let me touch her. “You have no control over other people’s actions. And they almost killed you once already. They’re definitely going to try again!”
“Sabrina, I swear to you, I—”
“Enough!” she shouts, then leans across the seat to open my car door. “Get out of my car. And I don’t want you coming around my daughter.”
“Our daughter,” I growl, my temper flaring. “And you just said you wouldn’t keep me out of her life.”
“That was before you told me your brother is hell-bent on executing you. Why in the hell do you think I’d let my daughter around you now?”
“Sabrina,” I say, my tone holding a warning, but she shoves my shoulder.
“I said get out.” Her tone is like broken glass. “I mean it, so help me God.”
My head drops and I let out a ragged breath. “This isn’t over,” I say, sliding out of the car.
Her face tightens, and I can see her bottom lip start to tremble. “Damn you, Ax. You had to stay for dinner. Now I’ve got to tell our daughter that she can’t—” She shakes her head, blinking back tears. “She just started talking to me again, and now this.”
“This isn’t something I asked for. I—”
“Stay away from Lex,” she snarls, her face pinched. “I won’t have you putting my daughter in danger.”
“Sabrina, I’m not—” My words are cut off as she reverses the car, almost knocking me over with the open car door. I scuttle out of the way as she roars down the driveway, backing out onto the street and leaning over to shut the door. Then the car is gone, speeding off down the highway back to town.
&
nbsp; Fuck.
My legs feel wobbly, and I drop onto the cabin steps, trying to catch my breath. What the fuck just happened? I wasn’t sure how Sabrina would react to seeing me, and honestly, if I wasn’t returning her car, I don’t think she would have answered the door if I knocked.
I deserve her anger, that’s true. I’m a fucking idiot for letting that Sitwell bitch manipulate me. Jealousy blinded me to reason, and to Sabrina’s true character.
I was an asshole, and I can’t blame her if she doesn’t forgive me. Tonight had been a ray of hope in an otherwise dark night. Goddamn, it felt good being there with them. With my girls.
I cover my face with my hands and focus on my breathing. Sabrina’s peel out knocked my emotions for a loop, and I need to get a handle on things before I spin out. When my heart stops hammering against my ribs, I realize that disappointment has a terrible sting.
I rub my chest absentmindedly, wondering if there is any way out of the mess I’m in. Sure, I fucked up plenty, but it isn’t entirely my fault. But that doesn’t matter.
While I deserve Sabrina’s anger for my actions, I resent being blamed for others people’s actions against me. Namely, Brent and his nefarious plans. My family melodrama, as she called it.
Today has been one like no other, a roller coaster ride of emotion. I’d gone from a guest invited to stay for supper to being as welcome as an outhouse breeze.
I can’t blame Sabrina for her overprotectiveness, and she’s got a point about Brent. He isn’t likely to stop without getting what he wants. But I won’t be taken by surprise again, and I’m a force to be reckoned with. Brent isn’t going to fuck me over again like he did five years ago.
I’ve got to deal with this shit with my brother before I can regain Sabrina’s confidence. It won’t be easy, but I’m not going to let him stand in the way of the family I want now more than I want revenge against my brother.
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