Looking up at me with shining eyes, Sabrina shakes her head. “They had my baby in their vehicle. If you had been one minute later, she could have been gone and—”
“But I wasn’t one minute later. We got her, and she’s safe at home now.”
“How do I know she’s safe?” Sabrina screeches, leaping up from the couch. “How do I know those guys aren’t at my house right now?”
“Okay,” I say. “Okay. Calm down.” I stand, putting my hands on her shoulders. “I know you’re scared. But you have to have a little faith in me. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you or your family.”
“I’m sorry,” Sabrina says, fat teardrops starting to roll down her face, “but you can’t guarantee that.”
She moves toward the door, and I have to stop her. “Wait, Sabrina. Just give me a second. I’ve been fighting for the last decade. I know I can handle this. You’ve got to trust me.”
She pulls away, her expression frantic. “No, Ax. I don’t.” She waves her hands around, her eyes wild. “They almost had my baby today. She’s a target. That’s all you have to say. Whatever comes after that doesn’t matter. I’m going home to make sure my family is alright, and tomorrow we’re getting the hell out of town.”
“You’re leaving Cape Craven?”
“You’re goddamn right I’m leaving Cape Craven. And I hope I never even hear that name again!”
I understand how upset she is, but this is worse than I thought. “Sabrina, you don’t need to leave. I can protect you. I can deal with this.”
“I can’t risk it, Ax. Brent got rid of you before, and he’s not afraid to play dirty to do it again. I’m leaving, and you’re staying the hell away from us.”
I can feel my world falling apart around me. I pull her into my arms and hold her tight, ignoring her struggles. “You said you love me. Doesn’t that mean anything?”
Sabrina bites her lip. “Sometimes loving someone isn’t enough. Sometimes things aren’t meant to be, no matter how much we want them to be.”
She pulls away, her face a mask of sorrow. “I’m sorry, Ax, but I have to put Lex first. I’ve never said differently. That little girl is my world, and I won’t put her in danger, not even for you.”
“I want a chance to make her my world as well,” I argue. “I’m telling you right now, I’ll fight for you. Don’t leave. Let’s figure this out together. For once. Please.”
She shakes her head, her tousled hair swaying around her pale face. “I’m sorry. When we get together, things don’t get better. They get worse.”
My arms drop, and Sabrina takes a few steps toward the door. She pauses, her hand on the doorknob. “I used to dream about you coming back. About you finding out who Lex was and falling in love with her, with both of us. We’d be a family, living life together. Happy.”
When her gaze meets mine, I can see the pain in her eyes. “But when you come back, it’s less like a dream than it is a nightmare. My life falls apart, and yours is always tangled in some web of drama. Maybe we aren’t good for each other, Ax.”
“You can’t say that.” I’m gutted like my insides are on display. “You’re the only thing that’s good in my life. You and Alexa.”
“I’m sorry,” she says, then pulls the door open. The sound of it closing behind her is more somber than a funeral drum.
I stand there, awash in agony. I’ve lost everything. What’s worse, I never really had it to begin with. Sabrina was never mine. Even tonight, when she’d whispered her love for me, it had all been part of some dream. A fantasy that didn’t come true.
The emptiness inside me is dreadful. Worse than any panic attack. Worse than any physical pain I’ve been forced to endure. The woman I never stopped loving told me she loved me, right before she vanished from my life permanently.
The family I want, I’ll never have. I’ll never be complete.
I’ll never be whole.
Before I realize it, I’m slamming my fist repeatedly into the wooden walls of my cabin. Over and over I punch the unforgiving wood until my knuckles are bleeding. But when I stop, all I can see is Sabrina, so I lose it again.
Lose it completely.
I pick up the coffee table and toss it across the room, watching the legs crack off it. The lamp that stands between the armchairs is swung around until its glass top shatters. Then I wander into the kitchen and proceed to smash every dish in the house. Every glass. Every plate. Every bowl.
Shards surround me but I ignore them, walking across them to the bathroom where I punch out the mirror. The sound of breaking glass resonates inside me. I imagine it’s what my heart must have sounded like when it was breaking.
In the bedroom, the bedside lamp is thrown against the wall where it shatters. Then I pick up my nightstand and throw it through the window. I systematically destroy every piece of furniture I own.
An hour later, I’m crouching in a pile of broken objects, my breath sawing in and out of me. There are cuts and bruises all over my body, but I feel nothing. I’m numb.
Nothing can banish the emptiness inside me, not even releasing the rage that allowed me to destroy the last vestiges of my life. Why not? My emotional life is in pieces. Why not ravage my physical environment to match?
I stare unseeing at the floor, wondering what comes next. I could end this all now, head to the estate, track Brent down, and stab him in his black heart. I would be justified, at least in my mind if not in a court of law. I’d spend the rest of my days in Tabor Correctional until they decided to stick a needle in me and end it.
Still, it feels like giving up. If I were a real man, I’d solve this shit with Brent and be able to return to my family to rebuild. But the chances of that conclusion get smaller and smaller as the days pass.
Guess I’m not a real man.
I consider how much of my life has been spent trying to prove that I am a man. That I’m deserving of respect. And it all seems to mean so little now since the woman I love doesn’t trust me to protect her.
I’m less than nothing.
I realize that my eyes have locked onto an object in the midst of the mess strewn before me. It’s a little white circle, and when I look closer, I can see that one end is metallic, a screen with tiny holes.
I pick up the object, turning it over, and instantly release what it is. A listening device. A fucking bug.
Someone bugged my cabin. That means someone knows my every move before I make it.
This is how they’ve been keeping tabs on my movements. And Sabrina’s, I realize now. Fuck. Someone’s been spying on me. And I have a good idea who’s behind it.
I pick up a piece of wood from a destroyed dresser and smash it down on the device, over and over again until it’s completely obliterated.
Just like I’m going to obliterate the person who’s caused all of this pain.
40
Sabrina
I’m awake before dawn. Actually, that’s a bit misleading. I didn’t sleep at all last night, so technically I was awake the whole night, not just before dawn.
I spent much of that time watching over Lex as she slept in her bed, oblivious to what’s about to befall her. My mother finally pulled me away, insisting that we talk about what’s going on.
I sit at the kitchen table, revealing the events of the past few days. Mom’s face turns white as a sheet. “They were going to kidnap Lex?”
“I don’t know, Mom. But I can’t take the risk. I have to get out of Cape Craven.”
“For how long?”
“I don’t know,” I say, sliding my head down to rest on my crossed arms. “I don’t have any answers. But if people are coming after us, we can’t stay here.”
“So you and Lex are leaving town?”
“And you,” I reply. “I was thinking we could go visit Aunt Barbara’s farm for a while, a month or two to start.”
“What about your job?” Mom asks, eyes wide.
“I don’t know, Mom. I’ll figure it out.”
“Isn’t
there any way you could stay here? Maybe call the police, or—”
“Mom, Brent had Ax thrown in prison last time on the scantest of evidence. If he wants to, he can pay off the police and the judges. Hell, he might not even have to pay them. They might consider serving a Craven one of their civic duties.”
My mom’s mouth is open, her head shaking reflexively back and forth. “This can’t be happening.”
“It is, Mom,” I say, putting my hand on hers. “We need to pack. So figure out what things you want to take with you and let me know. You can take it easy while I put things in your case.” “Oh, I’m not going.”
“What?” Doesn’t she hear the words that are coming out of my mouth? “We’re in danger, Mom!”
“I’m not so certain we are. Ax might be, and maybe you and his daughter, but who’s going to care about his baby mother’s grandmother?”
“Mom, stop being silly. You’re coming.”
“I’m sorry, honey, but I’m not.” Her expression is serious. “I’ve made this place my home, and I don’t intend to leave it. I’m too old to be driven out. My place is here in Cape Craven.”
“Come on, Mom. You can visit your sister for a while, enjoy a change of scenery.”
“You’re not going to convince me, Sabrina girl, so don’t waste your breath.”
Just like that, the last support I have disappears. My mother has been my rock for most of my life. I couldn’t have raised Lex alone without her. And now she just expects me to leave her here?
“Why?” I ask, my eyes dry. I cried for hours, on and off, and it seems I can’t summon any more tears for this most recent tragedy.
Mom sighs. “I won’t let the Cravens drive me out of town. I think you should go. In fact, I’ll call your Aunt Barbara just as soon as this conversation is over. But I need to stand my ground.”
“And what if these assholes come after you? What then?”
Mom shakes her head. “I don’t think they care about me. And if they do, I think Ax will take care of things.”
I feel my stomach drop. My mother believes Ax can save her when I’d told him to his face that I didn’t think he could save Lex and me. I’ve never felt more like a traitor in my life.
“It’s not only that, Sabrina,” she says, giving my arm a light pat. “It’s time for you and Lex to take a journey on your own. There’s a lot between the two of you that needs working out. A trip that’s just the two of you might help that. You’ll have plenty of time to talk about the things you’ve never discussed before.”
I have to admit, her words are persuasive. I’ve never gone anywhere, just Lex and me before. Probably because I haven’t gone anywhere period. And now I have a chance to get out of Cape Craven with my daughter. No matter the reason, there was a freedom there that gave me just a tiny thrill of excitement. I focus on that excitement, treasure it, trying to ignore the other feelings that flood me.
I head to my room and start packing. Hours later, the sun is about to come up, and I’m in Lex’s room, packing enough clothes for an extended stay at Aunt Barbara’s place. Lex sits up in her bed, rubbing her eyes.
“What are you doing, Mom?”
“We’re going on a little trip today,” I tell her. “Out to Aunt Barbara’s place.”
“Aunt Barbara?”
“Yeah. Your grandma’s sister, remember. You met her once or twice when she’s come to visit.”
“The one with the pigs.”
I laugh. “That’s right. Pigs and chickens and a couple of cows. We’re going to stay on her farm for a little while.”
“But school’s not out yet,” Lex says, swinging her legs over the side of her bed. “Won’t I get in trouble?”
“Let’s not worry about school right now,” I say, mentally kicking myself. Why did my nine-year-old have to remind me about school? What kind of a parent am I?
“How long will we be gone?” she asks, climbing out of bed and heading to her dresser.
“Um, for a little while, sweetie. I’m not sure yet.”
She turns to me, her little brow wrinkled. “Why are we going to Aunt Barbara’s now? What’s going on?”
I sigh. “It’s time we had a little adventure in our lives, don’t you think?”
Lex looks at me like she’s not buying it. I force a smile onto my face and press forward. “It’s time that you and I set out on our own and try to work through some of the issues between us. I think it’s best if we get out of town for a bit, get a fresh perspective, you know. Don’t you think we’ve earned a break?”
Her little eyebrow shoots up, and I know she thinks I’m not telling her the whole truth. But she turns back to her dresser, pulling open a drawer and starting to select a few choice outfits. “An adventure,” she mutters. “How do you pack for something like that?”
I dissolve into laughter and pull my daughter into my lap on the floor. “You know what? I love you. And I know things have been not so great lately, but I want you to know I’m committed to making things better.”
Lex looks at me, brushing back a few strands of hair from my face. “What about Ax, Momma? Can we invite him on this adventure?”
“Not this time,” I say, trying to keep the mood light, but I’m afraid my face shows a few cracks. I kiss her on the cheek and set her back on her feet. “Now let’s get packed so we can hit the road, Jack.”
I roll our suitcases to a spot next to the door, stopping in the kitchen to say goodbye to my mother. She packed a cooler full of food and drinks for us, and I give her a hug, thanking her. “You sure you don’t want to come along?”
“I’m sure. Besides, you know I hate the smell of pig shit.”
I laugh. “Guess I can’t argue with that.”
Mom pats my cheek. “Take care of our Lil Devil.”
“I will,” I smile, a wave of melancholy washing over me.
“And you,” she says to Lex as she walks into the kitchen, her voice a little hoarse. “You take care of your mom.”
“I always do.”
My mother scoops Lex up into a hug, and I know it must be hard on her, letting us both go. I’ll miss her too. But she gently reminds me that she’ll be here when I get back. Then she kisses me on the tip of my nose and walks me to the door.
“You girls have fun now,” she says, waving to us from the screen door like we’re heading off on vacation instead of running away from the threat of kidnapping or worse.
“We will,” Lex says with a smile, then tosses her bag in the backseat of the car. After I fill the trunk with our belongings, I make sure Lex is secured in the seat behind me and then slide into the driver seat.
I take a deep breath before I start up the car. And we’re off.
The miles start to pass, and I try to focus on the road before us instead of the events behind us. I feel afraid for what might happen to Ax, but I can’t be wrapped up in his family drama. It’s not good for me, and it’s not good for our daughter.
That doesn’t make it any easier to leave him behind.
“How long is it until we get to Aunt Barbara’s house?” Lex asks from the back seat, already bored in the way of children.
“Several hours, so you might want to read a book. Or we can sing along to the radio. I know you love that.”
“You love that. I only sing because you make me.”
I laugh. “How could I deprive the world of your beautiful singing voice?”
Lex rolls her eyes and I smile, some of the clouds from the last few days finally starting to lift. And then I see something down the road.
A black SUV.
As I come around a curve, it pulls out from the side of the road to block it entirely.
“What is that, Momma?”
“I’m not sure, sweetie,” I say, although I have a pretty good idea. My heart is banging away against my ribs, and I can feel my hands begin to shake.
“That looks like the car from yesterday. Maybe that nice man is there.”
“Maybe,” I mutter. I do
n’t think any of these assholes are “nice men,” despite my daughter’s assessment. There’s only one reason they’d be doing what they are now.
I reach for my purse, pulling out my cell phone. I dial 9-1-1, holding the phone up to my ear. It begins to ring.
I slow down, getting close to the SUV now, knowing I can’t get through. I hit the brakes, then throw the car into reverse to try and turn around. I’ve got the car headed in the other direction when I hear a voice on the other end of the phone line.
“9-1-1. What’s your emergency?”
“I’m on Old Cove Road, just out of Cape Craven,” I say as fast as I can. “Someone’s got a car pulled across the road here. It’s a black SUV. I can’t read the license plate. It might be the same car that followed my daughter yesterday.” I don’t know how to say that a member of the town’s billionaire family is paying to have me kidnapped in his plot of revenge against his brother.
“Is that you, Sabrina?”
“Yes! Who’s this? Did you get what I said?”
The voice on the other end laughs. “This is Tommy. Tonya’s cousin?”
“Tommy, listen to me. Send help!”
“Good to hear from you,” he says, and I clench my teeth. Only Tommy would make small talk during a 9-1-1 call.
“Look, Tommy, you have to—”
The SUV comes roaring past me on the wrong side of the road, then screeches in front of me, forcing me to slam on my brakes. The phone flies out of my hand, bouncing off the windshield, then hitting the floor of the passenger seat.
A man with a gun jumps out of the SUV stopped in front of us and hustles back to us, pointing his weapon at me.
“Don’t shoot!” I scream. “I’ve got a child in here!”
“Momma, what’s happening?” Lex asks, her voice high and tight.
“I don’t know, baby. Just don’t move, and everything’s going to be all right.”
As the man with the gun rips my door open, I pray to God that my words turn out to be true.
41
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