“I’ll bet it was,” I say, letting my jealousy claw its way to the surface. “Did you guys share a hotel room maybe?”
Shrugging, he replies. “I guess you could say so.”
I’m literally counting to ten in my mind while I try to unball my fists. They’re itching to slam themselves into the piece of shit in front of me. “I guess it’s no surprise that you didn’t tell me you were heading out of town with my woman and daughter. Since it’s clear you wanted them all to yourself.”
Luke shakes his head. “You’re coming at this all wrong, buddy. I was there because you hired me to be there.”
“I didn’t hire you to fuck Sabrina behind my back.”
“Good, because that would have been money I didn’t earn.”
I look into his face, wondering if I can trust what he’s saying. “I saw that little exchange you had in the hallway earlier. You guys seem to be closer now.”
“That’s because I actually got to know her. And since you’re a guy who seems to know her too, you should know better than accusing her of what you’re saying. Does Sabrina really seem like the type to fuck a guy she barely knows on a business trip with her daughter there? Come on, man, get your head on straight.”
I frown, and at last unclench my fists. “It’s not Sabrina I don’t trust.”
“Yeah, I get it man, but you don’t have to worry about me. I’m not crazy enough to try and steal your woman. And I only took this gig for the money.”
I slap Luke on the back. “Apologies.” My voice is gruff, and I feel like an asshole. “She just drives me crazy, you know?”
“Yeah. I get the feeling that it’s mutual.” Luke tries on a smile, and I acknowledge it, even if I can’t return it. “She said you walked away from her before and it didn’t seem to hurt you. I think she’s wrong, but one thing I can tell you for sure is, it hurt the hell out of her.”
He puts a hand on my shoulder. “You got a lot to make up for with that one, and she isn’t going to make it easy. But you can’t force her to accept you. You can’t bully her. You need to show her how much she means to you. Put in the time and effort. She deserves it.”
“You’re right. She does.”
Luke nods once, then continues down the hallway toward the dining room. Not unexpectedly, I’ve entirely lost my appetite. I consider heading up to my room and turning in early. The fight with Sabrina, and then Luke’s lecture, they haven’t exactly made me feel good about myself. But instead of heading up the stairs, I make my way to the dining room.
Why? Because I want to see Sabrina again.
She comes to dinner late, after my father and Leigh are already seated. Lex is with her, and my daughter turns into a chatterbox, telling us all about their trip to Boston and the pros and cons of each of the fundraiser venues from her wise nine-year-old perspective.
My gaze shoots to my father who seems both confused and fascinated by my little girl. He doesn’t say much, but he spends the whole dinner watching her, his face relaxing paragraph by paragraph as if he’s slowly realizing that this pint-sized pixie is a Craven through and through.
It feels good to see my father accepting my daughter as one of our own. Now if only I could convince her mother to accept it too. Sabrina and Lex will be Cravens. They already are, in my heart. They belong to me, my family, the only blessing the Lord ever bestowed on me. The only one that counts, anyway.
I vow to show Sabrina how much she means to me, that she’s a part of me, and that I want to be a part of her. And there’s no time like tonight to start.
54
Sabrina
I’m expecting my little chatterbox to keep me up for hours talking about her trip and her plans to spend the entire summer in the Craven swimming pool, but after dinner she starts winding down. Through a yawn, Lex asks about returning to school, and I tell her that next week is soon enough to get back to class.
I want to have my daughter to myself for a little while longer. Being kidnapped was terrifying, especially so because I felt powerless to help my daughter, to protect her. As a result, my mommy instincts are currently in overdrive.
We watch some TV in the suite, but it’s not long before her head is drooping. She’s asleep by the time she hits the mattress on the big bed we’re sharing, and I shake my head since it’s barely dark.
Wandering back out to the sitting room, I wonder what to do with myself. It’s too early to try and force sleep to come, especially with my brain fixated on worrying subjects that aren’t easily ignored. Questions about my future besiege me. Like how long will I be forced to camp out at the Craven’s? What happens when Lex goes back to school now that the truth is out? How do we move forward from this and put the past behind us?
The one that weighs on me the most, though, is this: How long can I stay in Ax’s orbit and not give into him?
He says he wants to be a part of things, but for how long? Ax has never stuck around before. What assurances do I have that he’ll stay in Cape Craven this time?
And if he does stay, what will that mean for us? Could a relationship between us really work? What would a relationship with Ax even look like?
Back in school, we hung out most evenings and weekends, sneaking away to pretend to study but mostly to make out. We never had an adult relationship, and frankly, I’m not sure that Ax is cut out for one. He’s a loner, more now than ever after his time spent in Tabor Correctional Prison. It can’t be an easy transition from a jail cell to rumpus room. So why bother to make it at all?
Because he wants to.
That’s the only thing that stops me from picking up my child and leaving town right now. Ax wants to be a part of his daughter’s life. And maybe he’s given me plenty of reasons to leave, but I keep hanging on for that reason to stay.
Alexander Craven wants to be a father.
Something about that makes me weak. I guess it’s all those nights spent dreaming about our perfect little family. Daddy comes home every night to a hot meal and a warm and loving family gathered around the dinner table. Mommy kisses him on the cheek, and he listens to the children talk about their days at school. Mommy and Daddy tuck everyone into bed and retire for the evening, where things move from G-rated to X-rated.
After wanting something for so long, I’m not sure if I can let it go, even if I know it’s doomed. There’s too much pain, too much sorrow, for things to end like an American-made fairy tale.
I don’t like feeling like this—as if everything in my life is up in the air and nothing is certain. I need to know what happens next. I’m tired of waiting for the Cravens to sort their shit out while they keep me on hold. Fuck that.
I need to talk to Ax, find out what his plans are moving forward. Too much time has been wasted already. Ten years of wasted time. I have to know if he’s serious about being in his daughter’s life.
Sure, it may not be the happy family fairy tale, but he deserves time to get to know his daughter. I don’t think Ax and I would work out long-term, but I won’t say the same for Ax and Lex. I won’t keep them from each other, not unless I absolutely have to.
I’m feeling antsy, driven to confront the issue head-on. Seizing the opportunity, I make my way out of our suite and head down the hallway. I know Ax’s room is likely somewhere around here, even if I’m not certain which door is his.
I pause. Knocking on a row of doors won’t do. Maybe one of the household staff can help. Turning back to the main stairway, I bustle down and head for the back of the house.
I hear voices before I spot their owners, and my steps slow as I start to make out their words.
“Since when do you take your orders from anyone else but me?”
It’s Leigh, and she’s madder than I’ve ever heard her.
“He’s a Craven too. He deserves a say.” The down-country voice belongs to Chuck. I guess he’s like some kind of butler. Not that I’m familiar with the serving-class hierarchy of manor estates like this one.
“Since when did you grow a ba
ckbone, moron? Ax has been the black sheep of this family for a decade. He’s a goddamn convict for Christ’s sake. He’s not in the will, and he doesn’t have any authority here. So I recommend you remember who’ll be signing your checks for a long time to come.”
I consider turning around before they realize that I’ve heard the tongue lashing, but before I can, Chuck comes around the corner, his face red and his breath huffy. He looks me straight in the eyes, then shakes his head and scurries off down the hallway.
I count to ten, scared as hell that Leigh’s going to come around the corner and catch me, but she doesn’t. Pasting a smile onto my face, I head into the kitchen to find Mrs. Craven uncorking a bottle of wine.
“Hey there, house guest,” she says in a pleasant voice that sounds nothing like the screeching she reserved for Chuck. Leigh reaches up into the cabinet to pull down two glasses. “How are you enjoying your stay?”
“You have a lovely home. Thank you for having us.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Don’t mention it.” She hands me a wine glass full nearly to the top. “How did things go in Boston?”
I smile, thanking her for the opportunity to travel, then tell her I think the ballroom of the hotel she booked us in would make a nice venue for her fundraiser. Leigh shrugs. “It’s a little small. I’m a fan of the Four Seasons. It should be perfect for our needs.”
I nod, all the while wondering why she sent me on the trip if she already had her mind made up. I doubt it was a goodness-of-her-own-heart thing because I’m beginning to wonder if she has a heart.
Leigh leans over the large kitchen island toward me, exposing her perfect cleavage and the diamonds that hang around her neck. “So, did anything interesting happen with that beefcake of a bodyguard of yours?”
Eyes wide, I shake my head. “Luke? No.” Why the hell would she think I’d be into Luke. Has she totally missed the whole Ax-is-my-baby-daddy thing?
“Too bad,” she says with a wink. “He looks like a lot of fun. And so your type. You’d be great together.”
My type? What the fuck?
I realize that the awkward quotient of this conversation has surpassed maximum and decide to bail as soon as possible. After a pause she doesn’t bother to fill, I blurt out my question. “Well, I just came down to see if anyone could tell me which room is Ax’s.”
Leigh’s eyes narrow. “Any particular reason you want to know?”
“I wanted to talk to him. About our daughter.”
One corner of her mouth curls. “How novel. And I was under the impression you were on your way out.”
“What do you mean?”
“Out of the relationship. Or am I mistaken? Ax as much as said so while you were gone.”
Huh. Ax is suddenly confiding in his sexy stepmother. That doesn’t seem in character for him. The biggest reaction to Leigh I’d seen him show was annoyance. “That so?”
“Yes, I’m afraid to say it is.” She straightens and takes a slow sip of wine. “We had some very nice talks while you were gone. Long, intimate talks. I think we know each other a lot better now if you know what I mean.”
I can feel my cheeks heating, and I hate knowing she can see the faint blush rising on my skin. “I’m sure I don’t.”
Leigh laughs, a throaty laugh that implies all the things her words left unsaid. She was suggesting that she and Ax had, well—
“Let’s just say Ax and I understand each other, probably better than the two of you ever will. We’re alike, born into wealthy families but in rebellion. We both have daddy issues. And we both refuse to pay retail.” She giggles at that last bit, clearly making a joke about Ax’s arrest for robbery.
I close my eyes for a couple seconds and focus on my breathing. It’s clear she intends to provoke an emotional reaction. Leigh is a master manipulator, a fitting addition to the Craven household. “Do you know which room is his?”
“Of course I do. Third door down on the left.” She drains her wine glass then turns to pour another. I see this as my chance to flee, and I take it, barely stopping myself from breaking out into a run as I head for the stairs.
Leigh was trying to upset me. She was basically hinting that she’s having an affair with Ax. Her own stepson. Gross.
But can I believe her? Leigh hasn’t seemed completely consistent and doesn’t strike me as the George Washington type, unless you count her bragging about chopping down the cherry tree and turning it into designer firewood.
Ax wouldn’t do that, would he?
She is beautiful, and he was locked away in prison for a long time.
Shut up, I say to the inner voice filling me with poison. I refuse to believe that Ax would go behind his father’s back to fuck his trophy wife.
Standing in front of the third door on the left, I hesitate to knock. All my inertia is gone now, whittled away by Leigh and her bipolar conversations in the kitchen. Maybe I should just go back to my room and try to get some sleep.
Right before I turn to go, the door opens, and there’s Ax, looking all dark and foreboding. Did he sense me standing out here?
“Sabrina.”
God, even the way he says my name gives me shivers. What is it about this man that I can’t let go of? Even though my mind knows he’s wrong for me, my body just wants another chance to prove that he’s right.
“Uh, hi.”
After all the times I’ve rehearsed this conversation, right now I’m a bundle of nerves who can’t remember how to speak.
He looks at me for a moment, then steps aside to let me into his room. It’s smaller than I expected and still littered with the evidence of the boy Alexander Craven used to be. He seems somewhat out of place here, even though it should be the epitome of his place.
There’s a small bed, a dresser, a doorway that leads to the bathroom, and a nice sized desk. I pull out the chair from the desk and sit, mostly to avoid sitting on the bed next to him. I know where that will lead. My body is practically screaming for it already.
“Is Lex asleep?”
I nod. “The trip tired her out. She was so adorable. Makes me feel bad for not taking her away from Cape Craven more often.”
His mouth flattens into a line. “It only took two sentences before you mentioned leaving town again.”
I sigh, realizing that this needs to come to a head, but suddenly uncertain about how to deal with the issue. “It’s been rough around here, Ax, and I think things will only get rougher. Especially if Craven Industries crashes and burns. The town was built on your family’s industry and vice versa. If one dies, the other one will wither too.”
As I’m saying the words, I realize how true they are. “I’ve never considered Cape Craven to be a hive of opportunities, but at least most folks can find a job and make a life for themselves. If Craven Industries shutters, most of the other businesses will follow suit and lots of people will be out of a job, myself included.”
“Maybe it’s time to look for other opportunities. Lex is old enough, and you know the trouble she’s been having at school. She could get a clean slate somewhere else. We both could. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about the shit people say behind my back.”
Ax listens, his face carved from stone. When my words peter out, he stares at me. His eyes shine golden in the glow of the bedside lamp. “When you leave, what happens to me?”
“What do you mean?” I hold my breath, waiting for an answer.
“I want to come with you. Get to know my daughter. Fix whatever’s between us.”
“Ax,” I say, my tone soft. “I’m not sure we can fix what’s between us.”
His looks at me with eyes blazing. “Don’t fucking say that, Sabrina.”
“It’s true. So much has happened. So much—”
He’s across the room in a heartbeat, yanking me out of my chair and holding me to his chest. “You’re always talking about the past. Why are you so scared to talk about our future?”
“Because I’m not sure we have one tog
ether.”
He looks like he’s been slapped. I see anger descend on his features. “Like hell.”
When his lips seize mine, it’s with all the force of a hurricane. He’s demanding absolute surrender, and it’s hard to hold on through his onslaught.
“I refuse to let you go, do you hear me,” he says when we have to come up for air. “What’s between us is once in a lifetime. You know it, and I do too. And I’ll make you admit it if it’s the last thing I do.”
Picking me up, he tosses me on his bed, then covers me with his body. There’s very little room to maneuver. Ax is much larger than he was as a boy.
“Ax, this isn’t a good idea. We need to talk, to figure out—”
Kissing me into silence, he makes my head spin with the skill of his tongue. “There’s nothing to figure out. You belong to me. And even if you refuse to promise me forever, you will give me the opportunity to prove myself to you and to my daughter.
God, I want to give in to those commands, even if just to get to the part where he makes me come harder than ever before. But I refuse to allow him to bully me into accepting him. If I take Ax back, it’s going to be on my own terms.
“Ax, you can’t win me over by bossing me.”
He’s nuzzling my neck, making my eyes roll back in my head. “Then how can I convince you?”
“For one, we need to talk and not have you tossing me in the sack like a caveman.”
He freezes, then lifts himself up to peer into my face. “Are you saying I can’t fuck you until you beg me for mercy right now?”
His words send a pulse of electricity through me that goes straight to my core. “That’s not—I mean—” Why can’t I say no to him? Why do I want him so damn bad, even when I know I shouldn’t?
“That doesn’t sound like a refusal to me.”
Kissing me again, I realize that we’ll never be able to talk with all the sexual tension between us. Better, perhaps, to give in, get off, and try the conversation again when we’re basking in the afterglow.
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