The Kairos Prison Ministry International, Inc. (KPMI)(141) chose its name appropriately. KPMI provides a four-day “walk” (retreat) for prison inmates. Although we do not get to leave the prison for a walk, we enjoy some home-cooked meals, brought by volunteers, in the rec room. We spend most of the day there and get to hear various talks from the volunteers, sing, participate in activities, and join in discussions; it’s just a real love-based program. When you have been in there for four days, you don’t even feel like you are locked up; you are in a place where agape love surrounds you in another realm. It is open to all faiths and to those who don’t even believe in God. At the conclusion, each inmate may talk about what the program meant to her. Many give themselves to Christ. After the four-day walk, you become a member of Kairos. Every Wednesday night, we go to the chapel and break into groups that are called “Prayer and Share,” where we discuss difficult situations in our Christian walk and enjoy fellowship with each other. Kairos also has a three-day walk for those on the outside called “Walk to Emmaus.”(142) We also have different Bible study groups. They have services for Jehovah’s Witnesses, Native Americans, Catholics, Muslims, Buddhists, and other faiths. They also offer classes such as Anger Management, Support for the Sexually Abused, and many other self-help programs.
***
Shortly after I returned to the general-population dorm, I was called into the major’s office. Some people from the Discovery Channel wanted to do an interview with another girl and me who had gotten off Death Row. They said it was for their Faces of Evil series. I declined. My face and my soul are no longer evil. I later learned that they did the show anyway, Episode 1, Series 60, titled “Hunting Humans,” on August 17, 2012.(143) Although I haven’t seen it, I have heard that it appears to emphasize non-factual sensationalism—the very reason I have avoided media interviews.
In June 2013, the state executed the third female following Karla Faye Tucker, bringing the total to date at four. Kimberly McCarthy received the dubious honor of being the 500th prisoner executed in Texas since the Supreme Court of the United States reinstated the death penalty in 1976. Kimberly was black, bringing the four women executed at this point to two whites and two blacks.
I remember Kimberly from Death Row. She entered right before I left. She was very sweet and had a precious laugh just like that of a little girl. Those here in Lane Murray, where I live now, did not know her, and most were not even familiar with her case.
I share her last words here so that she may be remembered:
“I just wanted to say thanks to all who have supported me over the years: Reverend Campbell, for my spiritual guidance; Aaron, the father of Darrian, my son; and Maurie, my attorney. Thank you, everybody. This is not a loss; this is a win. You know where I am going. I am going home to be with Jesus. Keep the faith. I love y’all. Thank you, Chaplain.”
Kimberly’s execution on a Wednesday at 6 p.m. went largely unnoticed in our dorm…in Texas…in the world. The glass ceiling for killing women had been broken.
CHAPTER 26
Every family has a skeleton in its closet. Such a fact is, as they say, “a given.” Shh…don’t ever tell anyone that Uncle Joe died of cirrhosis from drinking too much, or that Aunt Sue left her husband and became a woman of the street. It happens. And man in his vast wisdom continues to volley this truism between genetics and environment, where genetics corresponds to DNA and environment corresponds to a learned action. The argument is often referred to as nature vs. nurture, respectively. Regardless of which side of the net you choose, God has already spoken on the matter in Exodus 20:5 (KJV), Exodus 34:7 (KJV), Numbers 14:18 (KJV), and Deuteronomy 5:9 (KJV). In these passages, one finds this repeated phrase: “…visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation…”
So what we accept as a fact of life, we learned its cause long before we tried to impart our wisdom (genetics or environment). It is noteworthy that God tells us about this several times. As noted earlier in this book, iniquity in these passages is often accepted by many theologians(144, 145, 146) as corresponding to an inclination, a propensity, and a tendency. Although these passages lead to considerable religious debate, many feel that we should not interpret the term iniquity as sin, per se, nor visit it as a curse upon future generations. There are just too many Biblical passages regarding God’s mercy and grace, and that He would not punish the children for the sins of the fathers. Alcoholism or drug abuse in a family, as it passes down from generation to generation, is possibly the clearest example of this iniquity or “human condition.” The tendency, whether genetic or environmental, toward addiction is, as noted, already there. When it does become an addiction, then there are problems. And how does one break this pattern? I know, and I am seeing the answer unfold in my family’s life.
***
The last time I had seen any of my family was during my second trial. From then, I had no contact, just an occasional letter, not even a visit when my father died in 1987.
Randy wrote to me after I was out of Death Row in mid-2012 and came to visit shortly thereafter. We had a wonderful, emotionally charged reunion. He had changed so much from the little boy who took his anger out on innocent animals. Randy had come to Christ through his second wife and was working as a youth minister in California. Both he and his wife take an active part in the ministry for their church. One of his missions is to minister to the youth on the streets. Randy spoke about my father.
“Do you know anything about how Dad died?” he asked.
“No, you’re the first contact I have had with any of the family since my second trial—gosh, that’s been twenty-something years ago.”
“Dad had been fishing and somehow broke his leg.”
“How?” I asked.
“I don’t know; maybe he twisted it getting out of the boat. But it was pretty bad. He went to the ER where they put pins in it. When they opened his leg, they found bone cancer. It spread fast after that. We took him in at our house and cared for him. Before he went into a coma, he found salvation and asked for our forgiveness, each of us. I know we’ll see him again where there will be no pain and suffering. In the end, he was covered in bed sores; I turned him regularly and dried them best I could. He died in my arms, Pam.”
Through the film of tears in my eyes, I could see the same pooling in Randy’s. It had been a long, arduous journey to this special intersection in time. What a precious gift Randy had brought me: not only had he found salvation, but so had my Dad as well. This news, together with my son, Joseph, being a Christian, made me think my heart would burst. I also heard from Ronnie, who had found salvation and is currently in prison. We still correspond. Whatever iniquity had been visited upon the Walker family, God no longer remembered it against these.
As for the rest of my family, I know very little. My biological mother’s “pill-popping” and Dad’s alcoholism after Mom left had passed down to me and was, as best I know, still with my older sister, Joanne. I don’t know where she is, but the last I heard was that she was an alcoholic, and I know she has been married at least nine times. Almost all of her husbands, as I understand, were abusive. Of course, I am quite familiar with the last one I knew of, the ninth one, the one who ran us off the road and caused my premature delivery of twins. Joanne’s selection of spouses seems to come from neighborhood bars. I pray that Joanne reaches her personal bottom soon and turns upward toward salvation.
My stepmother, Helen, if she is still living, is in California. My half-sister, Donna, also lives there. My brother David is in prison in Nevada, and my brother Dale, who has never been in trouble, has a child and is living in Oklahoma. I continue to pray for all of my family.
EPILOGUE
At a certain stage in life, I suppose we all reflect on what we have done and how we wish we had done some things differently. Whether we compare our past to a journey, a book, or a tapestry, there are paths, chapters
, and threads that we wish were not there. Mine are ever before me. Like the gray weather that I was born in, I look out every day upon the gray concrete that surrounds me. And I remember. With reflection comes the quest for reason. Why? Was it all because of external problems: a dysfunctional home—I should say a house rather than a home, a small wood box of which I was ashamed; peer pressure, to run with older youngsters and do cool drugs; unloving parents, a mother who abandoned me and a father who molested me? Were drugs the root cause?
Collateral causes for sure, but no, the problems were internal. Me, a child of God, given free will, and, most regretfully, I chose drugs. I committed a brutal crime. During thirty-six years of incarceration, I pray daily for forgiveness from the families I hurt.
Have I paid my dues in prison? Is anyone able to pay on earth for what they do on earth? At least my spiritual dues were paid some 2,000 years ago on Calvary. With God’s forgiveness and mercy, I hope to live out my days free from these walls.
In January 2016, I learned from my most recent review that my release had been denied. After thirty-five years in prison, I was disheartened. But most devastating was learning that it will be January 2019 before I receive another review. This will mean, when I get out then—thinking and praying on the positive—that I will have been incarcerated almost thirty-nine years.
When I do get out, the first thing on my list is to join the Calvary Commission Refuge Program(147) near Palestine, Texas. They have a Christian respite, a transitional program, where I can learn how to function and adjust to a world I haven’t seen in over three and a half decades. We are able to notice some changes in the world while in prison. We can touch the electronic age and receive e-mails. We can read magazines and see the new styles. We can read newspapers and follow current events. But no, it can never be the same as being free. Freedom, I want to experience it gradually and under instruction from a Christian perspective.
I want to have a home church and to feel like a normal human being. After that, I would like to continue training dogs for the disabled. Yes, I would still like to do what I am doing now. I feel that this is something for which Providence divinely molded me through life and a means whereby I can give back to the world some of so much I have taken. I know we are all given a purpose, and I joy and rest in knowing mine.
Thank you for reading my story. Thank you for your understanding. Thank you for allowing me to express in writing my thanks to my Savior, to Christina, and to Joseph for my very life. Thank you for your prayers and support.
Lord Bless,
Pam Perillo, 2017
Pamela Lynn Perillo, 2013
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thanks to Pam Perillo for allowing an inexperienced writer to tell her story, a story of encouragement and faith, and special thanks for allowing literary license when her memory was sketchy. Also, thanks to Pam for permitting my innate cynicism to bubble forth on occasion wherein it did not necessarily portray her character.
Thanks to Barbara Thorngren for many hours spent in content editing, correcting misspelled words and malaprops. But mostly, thanks for all of her encouragement to complete this project.
Thanks to Julie Webb, professional freelance editor and proofreader, Ajijic, Jalisco, Mexico, for her microscopic thoroughness in ferreting out a legion of grammatical errors.
Thanks to editor and writer Erin Wood of Little Rock, Arkansas-based Wood Writing and Editing (woodwritingandediting.com) for the final touch of excellence in content revision and proofing.
***
A special thanks to the following in first-name alphabetical order for their communications and help:
Andy Horne, former assistant U.S. attorney and an assistant district attorney for Harris County before entering private practice. Andy is now retired and lives in Galveston, Texas, where he enjoys being the noted author of the Decent Men series.
Evan Greenspan, owner of Greenspan’s, 3405 Tweedy Boulevard, South Gate, CA 90280, est. 1928, “specializing in hard to find classic items from the ’30s, ’40s, ’50s, and ’60s.”
James (Jim) Willett, former warden of the Walls Unit in Huntsville, Texas, where lethal injections are administered. Jim entered employment with the Texas Department of Criminal Justice while in college at Huntsville. Like many of us in our careers, he stayed in the same place where he felt needed. For three years as the warden, he had the hardest job in America—a job he initially turned down—that of officiating at the execution of those convicted and condemned by the state. Jim is a confessed Christian. To gain an insight into his character, one should read Warden: Prison Life and Death from the Inside Out, written by Jim and his close friend, Ron Rozelle. Jim is now director of the Texas Prison Museum in Huntsville.
Joseph Margulies, a visiting professor of law and government at Cornell University and a well-known civil rights proponent.
Linda Strom, author of Karla Faye Tucker Set Free: Life and Faith on Death Row, and a prison minister of immense encouragement to all who know her.
Mark White, former attorney general for the State of Texas and then the governor of Texas, for comments on the Ruíz decision. Mark passed away on August 5, 2017, prior to this publication. He will be deeply missed.
Paul Carlin, D.D., pastor of Shady Grove Baptist Church, Crockett, Texas.
***
I am indebted to all who allowed me to freely paraphrase or quote from their published works in the interest of journalism.
APPENDIX A
General References
The Holy Bible, King James Version (KJV), Regency Publishing House, Nashville, Tennessee, 1964.
The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV), Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1984.
Atkins v. Virginia, No. 00-8452 (2002), Supreme Court of the United States.
Betty Lou Beets, Petitioner-appelle, Cross-appellant v. James A. Collins, Director of Criminal Justice, Institutional Division, Respondent-appellant, Cross-appelle, United States Court of Appeals, Fifth Circuit, No. 91-4606. 986F.2d 1478, March 18, 1993.
Briddle v. Caldwell, No. 80SA374 (1981), Supreme Court of Colorado.
Burnett v. State, 754 S.W.2d 437 (1988), Court of Criminal Appeals of Texas, San Antonio.
Burnett v. State, 642S.W.2d 765 (1982), Court of Criminal Appeals of Texas, en banc.
David Owen Brooks v. State of Texas (05/16/79), Court of Criminal Appeals of Texas, Harris County.
Frances Elaine Newton, Appellant v. The STATE of Texas, Appelle, 263rd, Judicial District, Harris County, 1992 WL 175742, No. 70770, June 17, 1992.
Frances Elaine Newton, Petitioner-appellant, v. Doug Dretke, Director, Texas Department of Criminal Justice, Correctional Institutions Division, Respondent-appelle, United States Court of Appeals, Fifth Circuit. 371 F.3d 250, May 20, 2004.
Perkinson, Robert, Texas Tough, The Rise of America’s Prison Empire, Picador, Henry Holt & Company, New York, NY, 2010.
James Michael Briddle, Petitioner-appellant v. Wayne Scott, Director Texas Department of Criminal Justice, Institutional Division, Respondent-appelle, United States Court of Appeals, Fifth Circuit, 63 F.3d 364, Aug 23, 1995.
Karla Faye Tucker, Petitioner-appellant, v. Gary L Johnson, Director of Criminal Justice, Institutional Division, Respondent-appelle, United States Court of Appeals, Fifth Circuit. – 115F.3d 276.
Karla Faye Tucker, Petitioner-appellant, v. Gary L Johnson, Director of Criminal Justice, Institutional Division, Respondent-appelle, United States Court of Appeals, Fifth Circuit. – 115F.3d 276.
Pamela Lynn Perillo vs. State of Texas (09/14/88), Appeal from Harris County.
Pamela Lynn Perillo, Petitioner-appellant v. Gary L. Johnson, Director Texas Department of Criminal Justice, Institutional Division, Respondent-appelle, United States Court of Appeals, Fifth Circuit - 79F.3d 441.
Pamela Lynn Perillo, Petitioner-appellant v. Gary L. Johns
on, Director Texas Department of Criminal Justice, Institutional Division, Respondent-appelle, United States Court of Appeals, Fifth Circuit, 205 F.3d 775, March 2, 2000.
Pamela Lynn Perillo, Petitioner-appellant v. Gary L. Johnson, Director Texas Department of Criminal Justice, Institutional Division, Respondent-appelle, United States Court of Appeals, Fifth Circuit – 94-20759, March 21, 1996.
Pamela Lynn Perillo, Petitioner-appellant v. Gary L. Johnson, Director Texas Department of Criminal Justice, Institutional Division, Respondent-appelle, United States Court of Appeals, Fifth Circuit – 98-20653, March 2, 2000.
Penry v. Johnson, No. 00-6677 (2001), Supreme Court of the United States.
Penry v. Lynaugh, No. 87-6177 (1989), Syllabus, Supreme Court of the United States.
Perillo v. State, 656 S.W.2d 78 (1983), No. 68872, Court of Criminal Appeals of Texas.
State Bar of Texas, Criminal Justice Section, The Texas Criminal Justice Process – a Citizen’s Guide, July 9, 2012.
Atkins v. Virginia, No. 00-8452 (2002), Supreme Court of the United States.
Karla Faye Tucker, Petitioner-appellant, v. Gary L Johnson, Director of Criminal Justice, Institutional Division, Respondent-appelle, United States Court of Appeals, Fifth Circuit. – 115F.3d 276.
APPENDIX B
LET THE RECORD SHOW
JANE WAS HANGED FIRST
The Dallas Morning News
Date: December 13, 1987
Column: “KENT BIFFLE’S TEXANA”
Author: Kent Biffle
Edition: HOME FINAL
Section: TEXAS & SOUTHWEST
Page: 41A
Reprinted by request and with permission of The Dallas Morning News
Chipita, move over.
Generations of Texans have grown up believing that Chipita Rodriguez, a convicted killer who was launched into legend from a South Texas tree limb on November 13, 1863, was the only woman legally hanged in Texas. No way, Jose.
Salvation on Death Row Page 18