by Chloe Lang
“What’s this?” Emmett said, returning from brushing down his horse.
“I’m tired of just wringing my hands and waiting. I need to get out and see more than these cabin walls. I made us a picnic lunch.”
“And what makes you think I am willing to take you away from here, missy?”
She laughed. He’d been pacing the floor ever since the big discussion around the kitchen table yesterday. “You’re as stir-crazy as I am.”
“What about the roads? Did you think of that?”
“We don’t have to go far, cowboy. Surely there’s some place on this ranch we can get to without much trouble.”
His manly lips turned up into the sexiest smile. “I can think of one, Amber. I would love to show it to you, too. I think you’d like the view.”
She’d thought it would be more difficult to convince him to take her out for lunch. “Let’s go.”
“I’ll have to saddle up Bullet first. I’ll be back in a flash.”
“Sounds terrific.”
The big, muscled cowboy walked back out the door, heading to the barn.
Learning Emmett was truly interested in her had lifted her spirits some. Still, until more was known about her past, her worries remained. His demeanor had softened much since the big discussion, but he still kept himself reticent around her. He’d made it clear that the right thing to do was wait.
She knew he was right but hated it. She still couldn’t believe that behind the wall in her mind was a man who was the love of her life. It just wasn’t possible. Love wasn’t a stranger to her any longer. She’d fallen for Bryant, Cody, and yes, even Emmett.
She set the picnic basket down on the kitchen table and walked to the shelf where she’d placed the wedding photo of her cowboys’ parents. Gazing at Mrs. Stone and her two grooms had become a frequent practice for her whenever she was alone. She’d studied the woman’s face and could almost feel her utter joy and overwhelming contentment. The dads, too, were totally in love with her.
She closed her eyes and dreamed of a future with the Stone brothers, her cowboys. How would such an arrangement work? What would be the everyday ins and outs of a poly family? She wasn’t certain. Still, if the three in the photo could figure out how to live and be happy, she and her three cowboys could do the same.
An image of her standing in a white gown with Cody, Bryant, and Emmett surrounding her floated in her mind’s eye. Her heart leapt up in her chest. This was real. This was her life. This was her future. She loved her three rescuers. Real love. Total and unfaltering.
No. There could be no man in her past. It just wasn’t possible.
Emmett returned. “Ready?”
She picked up the basket. “I am.”
* * * *
Emmett finished another of Amber’s sandwiches. Who would’ve thought to put sliced bananas in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Not him. Not the twins.
He couldn’t stop staring at her, lit by the late-afternoon sun. She glowed like an angel. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail. Though she looked ravishing no matter how she wore it, he preferred her locks down, falling past her shoulders.
“This is a beautiful place.” Amber’s voice was as warm and fresh as the breeze they were enjoying. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
“I’ve loved this spot since I was a kid.” He pointed to Blue Arrow Peak. “I can stare at that mountain for hours and never tire of it.”
“Does it always have snow on it?”
He nodded. “I remember convincing Cody and Bryant when they were little that Bigfoot lived up there. Cody, to this very day, still vows that he’s actually seen footprints of the beast.”
“I can imagine he does. He’s a real believer in a lot of things.” A sad looked crossed her face. He knew she was thinking about Cody and Bryant and what they might find.
So was he. “I know how worried you are. I can see it in your eyes. We are going to take care of you, Amber. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir. I’m green, Sir.” She snapped out the safe word like a challenge. “Very green, Sir.”
He knew she wasn’t, of course.
God, how had it come to this? His heart was on the line, and so were his brothers’. Hers, too.
He wanted to believe in Cody’s truth, that Amber had come to them as a part of providence, a part of fate. If he had his brother’s same conviction, Emmett would’ve suggested they leave well enough alone and forget trying to find out more about Amber’s past. They could’ve kept Amber’s presence secret for quite some time should they have chosen that path. But he didn’t have Cody’s faith. He’d convinced his brothers and Amber to head down the path of his making. A path that was certain to end badly for all of them. But it was the right thing to do, and he, like always, would do what needed to be done.
She sighed and leaned back on her elbows, causing her ample breasts to be even more pronounced in her shirt. His cock stiffened in his jeans at the sight.
“Cowboy, you have no idea how much I needed this outing.” A long, lingering sigh left her mouth. “I don’t want this to end, Emmett.”
His gut tightened as she voiced the fears that mirrored his. “Maybe it won’t, sweetheart.”
“You don’t believe that. I can hear it in your voice. I see it in your face every time you look at me. You still think there’s a husband or a boyfriend looking for me, don’t you?”
“It’s one possibility.” He hated where this discussion was headed. “We need to start back. It will be dark soon. If Cody and Bryant couldn’t get past the blockage, they’ll already be back at the cabin.”
“They’ll get past it. It hasn’t rained in two days, so the conditions have surely improved. You made your case to them, and they are hell bent on finding more about my past. They might’ve found my car by now. Besides, they said they were going to make it to town no matter what. They want to talk to the sheriff.” She rolled over to her side and faced him. “The person they find won’t be me, Emmett. Married or not, I’m not her.”
He cupped her chin. “You are. You just don’t remember, Amber. But you will. You’ll see.”
“I want to be here. I want Cody and Bryant. I want you. I want to have what your parents had. Whatever I left behind could take that away from all of us. Can’t you see that?”
He stood up, knowing if he remained next to her on the blanket, his willpower would crumble. “Yes, I do.”
He gazed down at the beauty that was undoing all he’d built. His life was a house of cards, ready to fall to the floor, but it was all he knew. His parents were dead. His brothers had suffered so much. Amber was suffering. He would not add to everyone’s pain even if it meant he had to suffer alone. God, he wanted to touch her, to take her, to kiss her, and yes, to fuck her. But he couldn’t, God help him. “What do you want me to do? You might be another’s woman. I have a code I live by, Amber. You might not understand that, but it means something to me. We’ve told you about Phase Four. We’ve told you about our playroom and the kind of sex we practice, right?”
She nodded, looking even more tempting than ever before.
“It’s so much more than sex for me. Our lifestyle isn’t for everyone, but it probably saved the twins’ life and mine. Their grief was crushing after our parents died. The state came in and tried to take them away from me. I was only eighteen at the time. They were fifteen. My parents were sending me off to college. They wanted me to pursue bigger dreams than ranching.”
“But you love ranching.” Her words came out like breathy puffs.
“I do love ranching, but I wanted to learn about the world, about business, about everything. My mother encouraged me the most in that regard. She always said that ranching was in my blood but I needed to go out and find myself first. Once done, she believed I would return. But I never got to go. Once they died, I had one focus, one goal—keeping my brothers together with me.”
“So you never went to college.”
“I got my degree online just last year. Busin
ess.”
“It’s not the same though, is it?”
How could she read him so easily?
“No. But that’s what I’m trying to tell you, sweetheart. Life sucks sometimes. We have to do things we don’t want to sometimes. My brothers mattered more to me than college, than traveling the world. Did I have some resentment? Of course, I’m human. But then Mr. Gold took us under his wing. I was the youngest Dom at the club. Once Cody and Bryant came of age, they, too, followed me into the life. It centered all of us. Now, it is part of our DNA.”
“Are you afraid I won’t fit into your world, Emmett? Cody has told me about BDSM in length. It’s clearly about the bond of trust between submissive and Dom. I trust you. I trust Cody and Bryant. Truthfully, I am more than a little curious about your locked-up playroom. I want to have my own discovery about the lifestyle. Does that make a difference to you?’
Fuck, it did. More than a little. In fact, his cock and balls were standing up and cheering. He gazed down at this woman who inhabited his every waking thought and every nightly dream. How easy it would be to strip her of her clothes and take her on an introduction into BDSM. He closed his eyes and tried to steady himself. The whiskey in his veins was softening his resolve.
Once Cody and Bryant returned, the truth would be known and this dream would be over. Amber would go back to the life she’d forgotten and he and his brothers would go on without her. But how could he let that happen? He couldn’t imagine a single day without seeing her, without talking to her, without touching her.
“Let’s table this discussion for later, Amber. We need to head back.”
“God, you are so infuriating.” She stood up and pointed her tiny index finger into the center of his chest. “I didn’t take you for a coward, but that is exactly what you are, Emmett Stone. A coward.”
“Be careful, missy. Be very careful.” She was pushing it.
“Chicken. Fraidycat. Quitter. Weakling. Call yourself whatever you want, cowboy. I see you for who you are—hiding behind your made-up ethics to keep from taking a real chance on a real woman who is standing right in front of you, ready to give herself fully to you.”
He’d learned Amber could be a brat, sassy, and full of fire, but that was just part of her allure. How she was acting now was over the line—way over. She was trying to push his buttons, and she was succeeding.
He grabbed both her wrists, holding her in place. “Enough. Understand?”
She spat out her words like machine gun fire. “You’re not my Dom, mister. You don’t want to be my Dom. You don’t want to be my lover. You have no hold on me, cowboy.”
More than anything, he wanted to bend her over his knee and paddle her sweet, round ass until her common sense returned. But he didn’t, knowing slapping her bare bottom until it was hot and pink with his handprints would crumble his resolve. Once begun, he would not be able to stop until his dick was inside her tight pussy. I have to do the right thing. I must.
Filling up his lungs to the max, he used his most commanding tone. “No. More. Talking. Missy. Do. You. Understand?”
Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She didn’t answer with words but did nod.
His cock was aching and his balls were heavy. He lifted her up in his arms and then placed her on Bullet’s back. He gathered up their picnic items—basket, leftovers, blanket—and handed them to Amber. “Hold these.”
“Okay,” she squeaked sweetly, better than any woman he’d ever been with.
His pulse was hard and hot in his veins. He wanted her, wanted all of her. I have to do the right thing. She deserves at least that.
He tugged on Bullet’s reins. “Come on, boy.”
“You’re not riding up here like we did to get to our picnic?” she asked timidly.
“No. I’m on foot.” He couldn’t risk being behind her in the saddle, holding her against his body. He just might be able to contain his hunger on the ground, but no way could he keep it at bay if he could inhale her sweet scent and touch her soft skin.
He was only human.
Chapter Ten
Emmett sat in the chair of his parents’ bedroom, mesmerized by Amber’s chest rising and falling with every deep inhalation and exhalation from her lips. She’d crawled into bed and conked out right after they’d gotten back to the cabin. Five hours later, she was still asleep, and he was still watching her.
His mind wouldn’t settle back enough for him to catch any zees.
The twins had to be in town by now. They might even know the full truth about who Amber really was. He didn’t envy them for that knowledge. The rainstorm had made it possible for them to stay clear of Amber’s real past. A week of heaven with her had created a dream that somehow there was a chance she could be his, be all of theirs. It wasn’t true or possible. He knew it. Fantasies faded away. Time wouldn’t heal the wound to come after she was gone. Nothing would heal that kind of heartbreak.
She was everything he’d ever dreamed of—a woman of strength and courage, a woman not afraid to challenge or to surrender, a woman of kindness and passion, and a woman so beautiful, inside and out, who could fill every day with wonder and joy for the rest of his life. Amber was that woman in every way.
He’d never believed what his parents had had together was possible for him. Now, he knew it was.
He was falling in love with Amber. He had been since he’d picked her up off the ground that first day.
Amber screamed. “No. God, no.”
He leapt from the chair and pulled her into his arms. She was having a nightmare. Her eyes remained closed and she began muttering those words he’d heard the day he’d found her. “Right. Bliss. Bliss. No. Stop.”
“Wake up, Amber. It’s only a dream.” He shook her slightly.
Her eyes fluttered open and he saw the river of tears flowing down her cheeks. “What’s going on?”
“You were having a nightmare. You screamed.”
“I don’t remember,” she cried. “Why can’t I remember anything?”
He rocked her in his arms, hating the pain she was feeling. “I’m here, sweetheart. It’s okay.”
“No. It’s not. The only thing I remember is the boy. His face. Nothing more. I know this is over.” Her body shook from violent sobbing.
“Amber, you have to believe.” He held her close, hoping to take away her torment.
“You don’t believe in us. Whatever chance we might’ve had is over. I can’t do this any longer. I have to face facts. You and me never had a chance. Cody and Bryant are over. I’m lost, Emmett. So very lost.”
“Baby, I’m here.” Her suffering was ripping her apart and killing him. He stroked her hair and rocked her trembling body.
“It’s too much. I can’t bear this anymore. Forgive me, but I want you. I want you, Emmett. I need you. Don’t hate me for it, please.”
He cradled her chin in his hand. “Look at me, Amber.”
She blinked and more tears fell down her gorgeous face.
“I can never hate you. You want to know the truth? I want you. I want you forever, God help me. If some man comes through that door to claim you as his own, I’m not sure I would be able to let you go.”
“Oh, Emmett.” Her voice cracked and the cutest smile he’d ever seen spread out over her face, enhancing her already-too-beautiful looks.
Her sweet mouth continued to quiver, tempting him beyond reason, beyond his capacity to resist. Licking his own lips, he placed the tip of his finger on her lush lips. “Shh, baby. Fuck, I’ve tried to hold myself back, deny myself what I’ve craved. I should wait. You and I both know I should, but I can’t. Not any longer.” He cupped her breasts through her shirt. “Right or wrong, I’ve wanted to touch you here.” He used his thumbs to tease both her nipples.
She closed her eyes and whimpered her approval.
He cast aside his decency for something more demanding, a deep, unrelenting need. He needed to kiss her, to feel her mouth surrender to his, to enjoy her whimpers of ecstasy in his
ears.
He leaned in to capture her mouth with his, feeling the very last ounce of his willpower evaporate inside him. As their lips pressed together, his hunger exploded inside him. Her soft lips tasted sweet, like warm honey. He stroked her bottom lip with his tongue until she parted her mouth ever so slightly—an invitation for a deeper kiss. Her breaths came faster and faster into his mouth as he massaged her breasts. He sank into her, tasting utter rapture. Having her in his arms might be a misstep, but the only thing he could feel was so overwhelming, so staggering, he had to sample more of Amber, much more.
* * * *
Amber couldn’t get her bearings.
Emmett’s kiss was melting her into a puddle. This cowboy sure knew how to undo a woman. He cradled her hips in his broad hands, and her temperature shot up several degrees.
Her mind whirled like a top. Being in his arms had been what she wanted. Wasn’t it? She broke free of his kiss.
His hot gaze made her tremble. “You knock my socks off, sweetheart.”
God, how good his words sounded to her.
She’d been asleep and awoke in his arms. According to him, she’d been having a nightmare, though she couldn’t remember a thing about it except the face of the sweet boy.
Emmett leaned back into her, kissing her eyes closed.
How she’d dreamed of this moment, of him making love to her until dawn. He’d been a true gentleman, the most logical of all of them, the one who insisted they all do the suitable thing and keep their desires under control—until now. She knew they would regret it later, but she couldn’t stop him. She opened her eyes and gazed into his. “I’m okay now. Whatever I was dreaming is gone. You don’t have to try to comfort me.”
“Is that so?” His eyelids narrowed, making him look sexier and more dangerous. “I’m in control here, baby, not you. Time for you to learn what it really means to submit to a Dom.”