Tears filled her eyes. “Oh, Flynn.”
“When I met you, I lost something important.”
She watched his now dark eyes. “What?”
“My heart.”
With that, Jolie’s wall crumbled.
* * * H a r c o u r t e * * *
Yes, he was hiding.
Jacques was having a really difficult time with what Jolie had said to the younger vampyres in Mathew’s room. Just knowing what she had lived through, broke him deep down inside. All he could feel now was fury.
When Flynn and Jolie went off together, he was glad to have time alone. Jacques only hoped that by the time she returned, he would be calmer. When they exited the den, Flynn patted him on his back on the way to the garage.
He was jealous.
Not of the sex they had just had, but because he couldn’t let her words go. Someone had broken his Jolie. Why couldn’t he be more like Flynn and less like him?
There was so much fury.
She was his to protect, and Jacques felt like he failed.
While she stood in the kitchen with him, he made them some tea. It wasn’t that he wanted any, but it kept his hands and mind busy.
“What do you want to do while Flynn is out with the ‘children’ shopping?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he stated.
Jolie stared at his back. His tone didn't bode well.
“Are you okay, Jacques?” Jolie asked.
He didn't reply.
Now Jolie was getting that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Are you mad at me?”
Jacques turned and placed a mug of tea in front of her. “No.”
When he turned back toward the counter, he heard her move. It was the last thing he wanted. Jacques was in a really bad place. He began praying that she didn't touch him.
It was the only way he’d get through this.
Jolie wrapped her arms around his waist as she rested her cheek against his shoulder.
He tensed, cursing the universe for doing exactly what he didn't want.
“Do you think we should talk about it?”
Jacques didn’t reply. Maybe if he kept his mouth shut...
“My love?”
“Oui?”
Jolie could tell by the thickness of his voice, and that he’d slipped back into French, that he wasn’t fine. It was a sure sign that there was a storm brewing. He was definitely upset about something--the cold in his voice said it all.
“Are you angry, Jacques?”
“Oui, I am.”
“Is it because I went off with Flynn, without you?” Could that be it? He was excluded from their spontaneous romp and feeling left out?
She was shocked at the possibility.
“This has nothing to do with Flynn!” Anger punctuated each word like a knife point.
“Oh, well, then I guess I’ll leave you alone until you’re feeling less hostile toward me. If it’s not about our other mate, then it has to be about me,” she admitted, feeling herself becoming angry now too.
“Wait!”
“What, Jacques?” she asked, pausing with her back toward him.
He slowly crossed to Jolie, his body stiff with control. “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t around to protect you back then. I wish I could turn back time and save you.”
Jolie was confused. “So, you're mad at me because you weren’t there, and because I had to save myself?”
He almost wanted to pull his own hair out. “I should have been by your side. I feel so helpless knowing what you had to live through for those one hundred fifty years.”
“Jacques! When my family died, you were four years old. You never even knew that I existed. When we met, you immediately became my guardian. You did all you could to keep me safe. For six centuries, you did the job. You're not to blame any more than I am.”
He needed to put space between them. Crossing the kitchen, he stood staring at his mug of unwanted tea.
“I feel so damn helpless,” he hissed. Then, lost in the anger and to Jolie’s surprise, he did something very un-Jacques-like.
He grabbed the mug and threw it across the room.
It slammed into the wall just above her head.
Jolie jumped.
“I failed you. You could have had a good life, not the hell you lived through!”
Jolie watched in shock as he did the same thing with the second mug. Jagged shards of mug flew all over the kitchen.
She was at a loss for words.
The storm wasn’t over.
Jacques slammed his fists against the kitchen butcher board, leaving large dents right across the top. When that didn't help him, he picked it up and whipped it across the room.
It stuck sickly out of the wall.
Jolie stepped back. This was something she’d never seen before. Jacques was the king of control.
Now, he had none.
The storm raged. If he was going to find satisfaction in destruction, he might as well do it right. Sweeping his arms down the counter, he scattered everything onto the floor.
When his energy pulsed around him, Jolie moved as far from him as possible. He was scaring her.
This was all new.
She was the one with the temper, not her Jacques. When the storm raged, he was the calm one in the room. He was the one who kept everyone safe.
Now, he was wild.
The look on his face was feral.
Knives flew from the floor, embedding themselves in the walls. One flew by Jolie, nearly cutting her face.
Unsure of what to do, she had two choices. She could call for Flynn and beg him to come home, but that would be dangerous. The two men would definitely fight, and he would be no match for an angry vampyre.
She couldn’t risk him.
Wouldn’t.
That left one option. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, Jolie approached him. Once behind Jacques, she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Jacques, there was nothing you could do. Please don’t let this eat away at you.”
“Jolie,” he said pulling away from her. “Right now, I’m afraid I’ll break you more,” he said, trying to put space between them. “Please, don’t touch me…”
His words cut at her heart.
Here was what she feared.
“Oh, Jacques, that was the worst thing you could ever do to me.”
Jolie backed away from him, her eyes filling with tears.
He stared at her, fear filling him.
“This is why I never told you. The last thing I wanted was to feel like I was dirty, broken, or defiled. I survived, and now you’re going to make me pay all over again by making me feel unclean and unworthy.”
He couldn’t speak.
What had he done?
Jolie’s eyes filled with pain. At least one of her mates got it. Thankfully, Flynn didn't see her as damaged goods. Spinning, she needed to put space between them. While she was angry, Jolie wouldn’t stay and fight.
There was no point.
He said all he could.
She was damaged. Why did she think she wasn’t? Jolie had been nothing but a fool.
Jacques felt the tendrils touch his mind.
‘What did you do?’ asked Flynn. ‘I can feel her pain from here. Why is Jolie crying? She was fine when I left.’
‘I didn’t know what to say to her.’
‘Do you want me to come home?’ asked Flynn.
What was the point?
‘No. She’s walked away from me. Jolie wouldn’t even fight. I’ve lost her.’
‘You didn’t treat her like a crippled, broken bird, did you?’
Silence.
‘Shit, Jacques! You better fix this! We don’t need this right now.’
‘I don’t know how to fix this. I’ve really screwed up and hurt her.’
‘She’ll forgive you once you apologize. Here’s what you need to do.’
Flynn gave him step by step instructions, and then broke off the connection. He felt bad for the man.
“Ladies,” he said to Clariel and Trina, “make your choices. We have to get home. Something has come up.”
“Is the mistress okay?” asked Mathew.
He didn't know.
Jolie had blocked him from her mind now too.
CHAPTER eleven
She raced out of the rental to escape into the night. Jolie couldn’t stand to be locked inside any longer. If she stayed, she’d weep bitter tears.
While she raced into the night, Jolie was so damn hurt. Her fears had been right, and now they were staring her in the face.
Jacques was ashamed.
She was broken.
Nothing could heal her now.
Out in the dark, Jolie found a duck pond. The feathered fowl were gone for the winter, but this place would give her some peace. There were light ripples on the water and they mesmerized her.
Jolie could feel Flynn trying to speak to her in her mind, but she just couldn’t face him right now either. He did nothing wrong to deserve her chilliness, and that made her feel guilty.
If anything, Flynn did everything right.
He’d loved her when she needed it, but Jolie knew that wouldn’t last forever. One day, he’d see her as broken too.
‘Never,’ came the reply into her mind.
Somehow, he was inside her head and trying to heal her heart.
‘I love you. I told you--you’re my treasure. I’m broken without you.’
The tears fell.
His words brought them on.
‘I’m on my way home,’ he whispered.
‘Flynn,’ she began. ‘I’m defiled.’
‘I’ll fix this, baby. I promise.’
Then, he was gone.
Jolie didn’t know how long she sat there, staring off into the water. It was when she felt Jacques approach that the anger returned.
Her heart hurt.
Jacques stood in the shadows, holding a blanket and a thermos of tea in his hand. He watched his mate weep in pain, and Jacques knew that Flynn was right.
He needed to fix this.
Bravely, he took a step into the clearing. All he could hope was Jolie would forgive him.
“What do you want, Jacques?” Her icy tone froze him in his spot. There was no doubt that he deserved it. After all, that was the same tone he’d used with her.
Okay, so much for this being easily solved with an apology. “I want to be near you, Jolie. Right now, I need to be near you.”
Jolie just stared at him.
“Please forgive me,” he begged quietly. He would crawl if she asked. All he wanted was for her to love and forgive him for his stupidity.
Jolie turned her head to stare into the water. The ripples were getting bigger and bigger--an indication of her mood.
“Go away, Jacques. I want you to go far away from me.”
His heart was breaking in his chest.
She couldn’t mean it.
He took a step closer. “Please don’t push me from your life, Jolie. I had a moment of weakness, and that’s all. My strength only faltered.”
“Fine,” she said, turning to face him. “Then I’ll leave.”
Jacques stood with his mouth open as he watched for the second time in five centuries as she walked away from him. Only this time, he doubted the outcome would be good.
She had to still love him.
He’d only made a mistake.
“Jolie!” he called, as she slipped into the darkness.
Panic swept over him. He felt the familiar touch to his mind, and immediately, Jacques opened for it.
‘Are you okay?’ asked Flynn, sensing Jacques’s pain.
‘She walked away and told me to leave,’ he said, completely shocked by what he’d lost.
‘She’s pissed. I told you to give her time.’
‘What should I do? She’s never been this angry with me,’ he whispered helplessly. ‘I need you, Flynn. I can’t do this alone,’ he admitted. He needed his friend now more than ever.
Flynn was his last chance.
‘Leave her alone for now. I’m on my way home, and I’ll see what I can do to fix this. Oh, and for future reference…’
‘I know… don’t treat her like a wounded baby bird.’
Yeah, someone could have told him that before.
It would have saved him a lot of pain, and his heart.
Flynn pulled into the garage, and then helped the women remove the ball garb from the cargo space. They were excited and laughing over the costumes that they had picked for Jolie and Jacques.
When they offered to pick a third costume to match, he’d said no way. Flynn already knew what he was going to be. He was having a good time until he got sucked into the mess between his mates.
“Mathew, can you put these away for me? I need to find Jolie.”
The young vampyre nodded. “Yes, Master.”
“Flynn. Please.”
“Yes, Master Flynn.”
He sighed. When would he learn?
Heading to their room, he could feel the sorrow and anger reverberating from inside. This didn't bode well at all.
“Not any better?” he asked, as he entered the room.
“No. She hates me.”
“No, she doesn’t, Jacques. Give me a few minutes to work my magic.”
Jacques stared at him. “You could destroy me right now. You could walk in there and make her hate me.”
He stared at the man incredulously.
“What? Where the hell did that come from?”
Jacques was ashamed. Flynn had told him to bring her the tea and follow her. It didn't work. Now he was rushing in to save the day. The anger and jealousy unfurled deep within his gut.
“Now she’s all yours. I screwed up.”
Flynn approached him. While Jacques was taller, older, and could kick his ass, Flynn didn't care. “Do you really believe I’d screw you over like that?” he asked. “After the last few months, do you honestly believe I’d betray you?”
Jacques shook.
He was a human, and they were far from trustworthy.
“You’re part of me,” Flynn said. “I love you both. I would never betray either of you. If you even think that’s possible, then you don’t know me, Jacques. You don’t know that what we have is the most important thing in my life.”
The man stared down at his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so scared. If I lose her…”
Flynn took a chance. Throwing his arms around Jacques, he offered him a hug. While it was risky, since the man was beside his neck, he had to have faith. He trusted the vampyre.
Even if the feeling wasn’t mutual.
Jacques was shocked. Flynn was offering him something so valuable. “Thank you,” he whispered.
He patted him on the back. “I’ll go talk to her.” He didn’t like seeing his happy family torn apart. Definitely not over something that was a giant misunderstanding. This truth had damaged them both.
“I don’t know what you can do. Jolie won’t even speak to me anymore. She’s locked herself in the bathroom. I keep trying to get her to hear me, but she hates me, Flynn.”
“Okay, let me try. I’m telling you that she’s just mad. I’ll get her to talk to you.”
He wished he believed that. “I’m going to head out. Since you’re home, I can leave. Please keep her safe. Tell her…I’m sorry.”
With that, Jacques closed the door.
Flynn sighed.
This was one hell of a mess.
Well, it was time to face Jolie. Heading into the bathroom, he wasn’t quite sure what he was going to find. Then, inside, he knew it was bad. Jolie was sitting in a tub full of bubbles, listening to music.
Taking a seat beside the tub, he waited for her to feel him there. It didn’t take long, but when she opened her eyes, it was with an angry lavender gaze. Then, she focused, realizing it was the wrong mate.
&nbs
p; “Hello, handsome. Welcome home,” she said softly, pulling the ear buds out. Gone was all the anger, and in its place was warmth and love.
“Hey there, beautiful,” he answered, playing with a clump of bubbles. Leaning down he kissed her squarely on her mouth. “I really missed you too. It was hell being away, especially since I smelled like you. I swear, Mathew was staring at me the entire time. I think he was confused.”
She laughed. When he went to pull away, she grabbed him by the front of the shirt. “I think I need another kiss. I’ve been miserable without you.”
Who was he to argue with that?
“Mmmmm…,” she purred, enjoying the way he tasted. It gave her heart a little comfort. At least she still had him. “How was shopping? Did you need your guns?” Jolie teased.
“If I say that it was excruciating and painful, will you feel sorry for me and give me another kiss?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows lecherously. He smiled more when laughter broke from her lips.
“Thank you, Flynn. You always know what I need.”
He shrugged. “I just wanted some lip action. That’s how I roll,” he teased.
Jolie kissed him again. When she broke away, he had a hard time focusing, “Yeah, that’s my job,” he admitted. Then he went in for the kill. “So, how long is he on the shit list?”
He caught her off guard.
Jolie stopped smiling, and her face went carefully blank as if she was waiting for her other mate to push her away too.
“Hey, baby, it’s me. You don’t have to hide your feelings. We’re a couple. You can talk to me.”
He took her hand in his as she wrinkled her brow in contemplation.
“Trust me,” he whispered, staring into her eyes.
She absolutely did. “He hurt me, Flynn, when he wouldn’t touch me. It was as if I was defiled and unclean.” Jolie felt sick again and wanted to weep.
It was time to fix this.
“Baby, he didn’t mean it like that. Jacques is used to kicking ass to keep his babe safe. Right now, he’s scared shitless because he doesn’t know how to fix your heart.”
“You did.”
He touched her cheek. “I’m a cop. You know how many families I deal with in a week when they lose someone. I’m the king of grief counseling. Jacques is a guardian to his core. What scares him is that he can’t take the pain away. He’s a fixer, and for the life of him, he doesn’t know how to rewind time and kill Goethe.”
Dangerous Misery (The Harcourte Vampyre Society Book 3) Page 20