by Jude Ouvrard
And the day after.
I should’ve come back sooner. I hate dealing with regrets.
VAL
The itchy burning from my latest tattoo mixed with the emotions from letting go of the last memories of John had me overwhelmed. Kyle had covered the ‘J’ with a cross, and I loved it. If only I didn’t feel so bittersweet about the reason for the new ink, it would make my life a lot easier.
Mom called me yesterday with news about John. Our parents had remained friends, and his mother thought it would be a good idea to tell mine that John had the worst broken heart in the history of broken hearts. Like that helped! Considering maybe two weeks had elapsed, I thought it was normal we were still struggling with the split. Odds were, it’d been harder on him since I hadn’t given him a choice. The selfish way I’d left him continued to weigh on my mind, so I’d left him yet another message saying I was sorry about the way I’d acted. In all honesty, I didn’t expect him to ever call or write to me again, but I had to tell him. I owed it to him, and would never forgive myself for how I’d handled things between us. It would ease my mind if I heard from him again, though.
My main goal now, was to move on. Each day seemed better than the one before. I had to remain positive and keep my mind busy so it was a good thing my shift at the club was about to start. Since returning there hadn’t had a chance to buy a car yet, so I walked a lot. The daily walk to the club was starting to make me feel better about myself. Exercising felt good. I also had a routine every morning with sit-ups, push-ups, and squats. They were small changes, but they marked the beginning of the new me. Single Valerie. I hadn’t been single since I was fourteen years old. Being single was alien to me.
While walking, I reached into my pocket for my phone to see if I had any new messages. I hadn’t heard from cowboy guy in two days. Guess he got bored with me. I laughed to myself then texted him.
Hey, stranger, why are you so quiet? Are you okay?
People around me probably thought I’d lost it, but I didn’t care. Whatever made me happy was how I rolled now.
Hey. I’m okay. What are you up to?
I smiled at his short message. I hadn’t expected him to tell me his life story, but maybe a little more than that would’ve been nice.
I’m on my way to work.
Don’t text and drive.
Oh my god, really? Is he my father now?
I’m walking. I don’t even own a car, so I can text as much as I want.
It was a childish hit, almost like sticking my tongue out at him.
You need a nice man to give you a ride.
I’m not there yet. Too soon. Besides, I’m good with walking. I can free my mind before work.
Work was loud and demanding. This was my time to relax and breathe.
I hope someone is driving you home at the end of your shift.
I rolled my eyes.
Are you always like this?
Like what? If I weren’t just a stranger, I would give you a ride. Someone needs to look after you.
That made me laugh aloud. Taking care of me had never been so easy. My life had become low maintenance. I didn’t need much to be happy, and walking sure as hell wasn’t an issue.
You’re making me laugh. Thank you for that.
I hoped he didn’t take it as an insult. He wasn’t like the other men in my life. Not at all like John.
I’m glad you think I’m funny. Text me when you’re home tonight.
It could be early morning. I live a crazy life, cowboy.
Be careful.
That sounded like an order.
Always am. Good night!
What must have been our longest exchange yet, turned out to be fun. Miles seemed like an old school type of guy. I wondered if I would ever see him again. Probably not, I thought. He lives far from Seattle.
The club’s music seemed louder than loud. Bekka and Tiff danced together behind the bar while I was still getting my place set up. I’d gotten out of the habit of organizing everything to be ready for opening. The lemons, olives, liquor bottles, and all the other stuff I needed to remember.
“Are you okay, girl? You seem off.” I hadn’t seen Tyler coming so he startled me when he spoke behind me.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks, though.”
No lies were necessary, I was okay. I was curious why he asked, though. It was soon forgotten as I drank a shot of vodka—a toast to a great night ahead—before joining the girls.
“About time, Val!” Nix teased.
“Tyler told me it’s going be a big night. There’s a big group of people coming in for a birthday. They reserved the section on the right.”
“Awesome. I love busy nights.” Not to mention, I loved the tips, too.
People started to arrive little by little. The regulars were already sitting in their preferred spots. Some things never changed, not even after a year. I knew I could get a real job, in an office, but for now, this job pleased me and was making me happy again. In addition, I loved getting to catch up with Nix and Bekka, so the job had its extra bonuses, too.
“Hey, girls, I have a favor to ask,” Bekka blurted as she uncapped a beer bottle.
I looked in Nix’s direction. “Okay, we’re listening. What’s up?”
“It’s Tyler’s birthday next week, and I was thinking about a big party. Karaoke, a band or something. I want to surprise him, but I’m going to need your help.”
“I’m in. I could sing a few songs if you want,” Nix offered, and I went straight over to her to give her a hug. I hadn’t heard her sing in a long time and missed it. A lot.
“I could, um, sing, too, but I doubt it would please him.” I laughed at my own joke. “I don’t know what I can do to make it special, but I’m in and will help you any way I can.”
“Awesome, I’ll talk with Levi and Kyle. They’ll have to distract him.” Bekka seemed to have it all planned already. This didn’t surprise me.
“Of course, my man will take care of business.” Nix squealed. “This is going to be so much fun, and I’m sure Tyler won’t see it coming.”
For months, I’d wanted to enjoy a night like this with them, and trust me, I would enjoy every single second of it. Dancing, drinking, and having a blast were all things I missed. Back in Boston, I studied a lot and worked as much, so I didn’t have an active social life. Perhaps that hadn’t helped with my impression of the city.
The night kept getting busier. At one point, Tyler let us know the club had reached maximum capacity. Bekka got sick right before midnight, so Tiff joined us behind the counter. Most of the time, she took orders in the sitting area.
“I’ve never seen a bar as busy as this, not here anyway. In London, it could get bloody crazy like this.” She chuckled before spanking my behind. “Let’s go, girl. We’re going to have our biggest night ever.”
We had to empty the tip pot a few times, which was unheard of, and I lost count of the drinks I served. The chaos didn’t stop for three hours straight.
Toward the end of the night, I was envying Bekka’s early departure. While she was in bed, sleeping, I was shattered. My phone vibrated in my back pocket so I excused myself to go to the bathroom to check it. It was a lame excuse but I wondered who was trying to reach me so late. Even though I knew it wouldn’t be, I was hoping it was John.
The second I saw cowboy’s name on my screen, a small smile appeared on my lips. What does he want?
How’s your night? Busy?
I liked how curious he was. It was flattering, in a way.
Yes, very. I barely have time to breathe. I’m currently hiding in the bathroom. What are you up to?
I’m watching a movie. Boring for a Saturday night.
Most times I wished for a nice Saturday night at home watching movies. I loved my job, but taking life easy on a Saturday had always been my favorite thing to do.
You should go out, it would cheer you up.
Maybe next week.
I wondered if he were still on the East
Coast. My curiosity didn’t get the better of me because it might be too personal to ask, though.
I have to head back to work. Goodnight.
Putting the phone into my back pocket, I tried not to think too much about Miles. What were the odds that we’d ever see each other again anyway? I did still text him one last time before passing out on the couch.
Just when I reached the deepest point of sleep, someone banged on my door. Who the hell is that? A glance at the clock revealed it was 4:40 a.m. What the hell? Without making any noise, I went to the door and looked through the peephole.
Unlocking the door as fast as I could, I started talking to her before the door was even opened. “Oh my god, Bekka, what are you doing here at this time? Does Tyler know you’re here? Did you guys have a fight?”
“I told Tyler you needed me. I lied.” Bekka hated lies so I knew something bad must have happened.
“Why? What’s wrong?” She had me worried. “Tell me now because it’s killing me.”
Bekka started crying. “I’ve had some symptoms lately. For a while, I was able to ignore them, but I’m twelve days late.”
“What? Oh my god, you’re pregnant!” I wrapped my arms around her.
“According to the ten tests I did over the last few hours, I am.” She sobbed into my arms.
“Why are you crying? Don’t you want to be pregnant?” So many questions popped into my head. What was she going to do?
“I want this baby more than anything. It’s mine, and I love him or her already. It’s Tyler. I don’t think he wants kids, Val. He told Levi weeks ago he wasn’t father material and that he had no plans for kids. We were having dinner together, and Nix and I were discussing babies, growing families, and he didn’t seem interested at all.” Bekka started crying louder.
“We’ll figure it out, Bekka. Do you want to stay here, so you can think about everything?”
Nodding, she declared, “I’m keeping the baby, Val. There is no way I’m getting an abortion.”
“Then don’t.” With my arm around her shoulder, I directed her to my bedroom. “Let’s get some more sleep, okay?” A few more hours would help us think, right? I gave her some pajamas to put on, and then we got into bed without saying more, which I didn’t like. “Are you okay, Bekka?”
She rolled on her side, facing me. “Deep down I am, but it makes me nervous. I’m afraid of what he might do. What if he leaves me, Val?”
“He would never leave you. It will probably be a shock, but he will never leave you. The man loves you way too much.” I started to giggle and Bekka looked at me awkwardly. “I mean, think about it. Nix would punch his throat. She’ll never let him walk away.”
Hearing her soft laughter reassured me. “You’re right. She would kick his ass until it turns blue.”
We laughed some more and then Bekka fell asleep curled on her side. She seemed so small.
All week long we worked on the birthday surprise for Tyler. We bought a load of decorations for the club, and we were able to find a couple of artists in town willing to put on a small concert. It was going to be a hell of a fun time. Nix prepared a couple of songs, too, which I got the chance to hear during rehearsals. That girl could have an international career if she wanted.
As planned, Levi concocted a story recruiting Tyler to help move furniture around at the shop. He and Kyle really were planning a new look for the parlor, and were thrilled to jump at the opportunity to get an extra pair of hands involved. The whole time the guys kept Tyler busy we girls had the club to ourselves.
Bekka had ordered way too many balloons, and it’d taken forever to blow them up and put them in place. Red and black latex covered the wall behind the bar. For the finishing touch, she had a big Happy Birthday sign, along with some garlands, to hang above the small stage.
“You don’t think it’s too much?” I asked, curious.
“It is too much. But he always goes above and beyond for me.” She laughed. “It’s my turn to go overboard.”
Nix laughed behind us. “Well, don’t be surprised if he has a heart attack tonight. This all feels like a set up for a seven-year-old’s birthday party.”
“One more hour before they show up. Tiff should be here soon, and the extra staff, too.”
“Levi invited a couple of friends from Lucky13. It should be fun.”
The barmaids for the night showed up fifteen minutes late, but they eased the weight off Bekka’s shoulders once they got going. With time, everything fell into place. Tonight was going to be great. We all knew it. While the music played at a lower volume than usual, Nix sang over almost all the songs. Her voice had gained more power and assurance while I’d been in Boston. For about ten minutes all I could do was watch her in awe. Someday, the right person in the music industry would get to hear her voice, and then she’d be a star. Of course, my opinion was biased, but it was my belief she could sing as well as any of the singers out there.
Tiff came up to me with a cold beer. “Here, this one is for you. My treat.”
“Thanks.”
“You don’t know how glad I am that you’re back. Everyone missed you a lot, and wouldn’t shut up about you,” she said, laughing. I liked her honesty.
“You’re only glad because now you don’t have to hear them talk about me,” I kidded with her.
“No, I’m serious. They’re family to me, and now, so are you. If you need anything, I’m your girl.”
“Thank you, that’s sort of nice. I got your back, too.”
She smiled before drinking half her beer. “The guys are supposed to show up any minute now. Kyle sent me a text.”
The excitement started building. “Does Bekka know?”
She nodded.
As the guests started arriving, the music got louder. There was already a line forming at the bar; it felt strange not being behind it. To some people, it might’ve seemed like a less than stellar job, but I really enjoyed it. Nix stood on the stage with the microphone in her hand, ready to welcome the birthday boy into his own club, and I had a huge smile on my face. One that reflected my life as it was now. The one you get when you do everything you can to please a friend. I hadn’t gotten to know him as much as Nix and Bekka, but what I did know of him, Tyler was a good man. At Nix and Levi’s wedding, I’d seen another side to him, beyond the boss I worked for.
Kyle entered and signaled that Tyler was coming. Bekka waited for him by the door, Nix waited on the stage, and I, well, I waited by the bar with a beer in my hand. Did I feel useless? Yes.
Levi and Tyler were first through the door. Tyler stopped mid-track while Levi laughed and elbowed him in the ribs playfully.
“What the hell, guys?” he said holding his head in both hands.
Bekka ran and jumped into his arms while Nix started singing “Happy Birthday”. Watching everything happen had to be the best present for me. I loved them all so much, and this moment overflowed with happiness.
While Nix sang a couple of songs to soothe Ty, I suspected Bekka was announcing the big news to him. The shock on his face scared me. He’d frozen, and his face had turned white. Both of Bekka’s hands were curled into fists as she waited for him to say something. Depending on his reaction, this party could turn into a disaster.
His lips never moved. Instead, he cupped her cheeks in his hands. He looked at her with a tear rolling down his cheek and then kissed her with everything he had. Pure love, I thought. After a few days of restless nights, Bekka now had her answer. A few months down the road they would be a big, happy family of three. I couldn’t stop smiling for them.
Kyle, Levi, and his friend Presley had vowed to make me drink past my limit, and I did. At one point I was singing Marky Mark’s “Good Vibrations” while standing on the bar and moving my hips in every direction. I’d looked like a fool, but in that moment, I hadn’t cared. My night with the guys left me feeling fearless.
Until I saw him.
What is he doing here?
MILES
Walk
ing around Pike Place Market released childhood memories in my mind. Lisa and Mom had always loved the florist booths, whereas I’d liked talking with the fishermen. The fish throwers were still as impressive and entertaining as they’d been when I was a kid. Before leaving, I stopped by a chocolate booth and got a couple to eat on the way back to my hotel.
Yes, I was glad to be here, even if my first day sucked. Too many emotions had been kept prisoner, and letting them go made me feel lighter.
After spending some time refamiliarizing myself with the area, I found myself standing in front of a club that caught my attention. Something about the place pulled me in; I’d heard the name before. And then it hit me.
“As soon as the cab drops me, I’ll go to Black Shakers, where I used to work, and beg my old boss to take me back. After that, I have to find a place to crash for a few days.”
Unbelievable! How could I have forgotten? Of course, clubbing had never been my scene so I didn’t keep clubs on my radar. Women dressed to impress and the men eying them like pieces of meat, that wasn’t my thing.
There were hours to go before opening, and I was in desperate need of a shower and some food, so I headed back to my hotel, grabbing burgers on the way. I would be back later, though. Knowing she might be inside made me nervous. We’d been texting more in the past few days, and each exchange was becoming friendlier.
Would I see her tonight? I hoped so. In my mind, I tried to think of what I would say to her. My being here could be creepy to her, which I didn’t want. We liked texting, and I wanted to see her again. There was something between us… friendship, or some sort of bond. I could feel it.
Spending an entire day in a city that used to be my home had left feeling lonesome. Music often helped shake the emotions away, but a nap seemed like the way to go today. I laid down on the queen size bed and relaxed. Something told me I would need it.
My nap lasted longer than planned, leaving me short on time when I woke. In a jiffy, I took my shower and got dressed. As soon as I parked my pickup truck at the club and cut the ignition, I could hear the loud music playing. This so wasn’t my scene at all, but I had to do it. Now. They were playing an old song by Marky Mark. It was surprising that I remembered it.