“I told Ricardo what I was looking for. This was one of the choices. Do you like it?”
“It’s perfect.”
She set her purse on the desk and walked further into the room. The bed was a luscious king with an array of soft pillows placed against the sloped wooden headboard. Plush leather seating and exquisite artwork and sculptures adorned the lounge area. A small fire crackled in the stainless steel and polished stone fireplace. Straight ahead were expansive sliding glass doors leading to a private sundeck with lounge chairs and a full sized bubbling hot tub.
A circular structural support beam-perhaps six inches in diameter—anchored the edge of the desk near the bed. Leaning with her back against it, she raised her hands overhead gripping and gyrating against it.
“We might have some fun with this,” she said grinning broadly.
“Promises, promises.”
Walking out to the deck Michael followed close behind her. She stood against the glass railing looking out towards the ocean. He loved seeing her this happy. Coming in close behind her, he hugged her tightly.
“Look at this. It’s absolutely gorgeous.” Turning to face him she kissed him softly. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Dinner’s in two hours. What do you want to do until then?”
Tilting her head, she looked up at him with a wicked little grin. Stepping back just enough, she slipped out of her slacks, blouse and shoes, standing before him in matching white lace demi-bra and thongs. Goosebumps rose on her flesh making it difficult to determine if her desire or the cool ocean breeze was causing it. Regardless, she walked towards the hot tub seductively dropping the underwear on the ground.
“Join me?” She asked as she eased into the bubbling water.
“Absolutely. Let me get the champagne.”
Resting her head against the tub’s edge, she closed her eyes concentrating on the pulsing warmth engulfing her. Sensing his return, she opened her eyes finding his beautiful, toned and naked body standing in front of her. Holding two flutes and the bottle in one hand with the tray of strawberries in the other, he sat on the opposite edge. Carefully placing them down, he filled the glasses before climbing into the warm water. Slowly moving towards her, he reached for her legs wrapping them around his waist as he settled on his knees between them.
“Tell me what you want,” he whispered.
Pulling him closer, she kissed him deeply. “I want you to fuck me until every part of me aches and I feel like I can’t breath.”
“Be careful what you ask for, Baby,” he toyed.
“I know exactly what I’m asking for. The question is…will you give it to me?”
“Why do you want it?”
“I want to unleash that part of you.”
The intensity of her gaze was intoxicating. Rather than answer right away, he reached for the champagne glass taking a long sip to steady himself. His thoughts were racing with all the things he could do with her, being ever mindful of her limits. But she was offering, almost daring, him to take her far beyond anything she’d experienced before. If he accepted her challenge, he’d have to be methodical and very careful with her. She had no idea what he was fully capable of doing with her.
When he first introduced her to BDSM, he’d only been involved with it for five years, but he was already very skilled. Their explorations together began with Dominance and Submission. He soon eased her into Bondage and Discipline showing her how enticing it could be. For the most part they still enjoyed those elements together as her physical and emotional tolerances increased. But during their time apart, his skills manifested in different ways.
When he was with Nikita, the boundaries of his play expanded to include elements that were far darker. Nikita loved intense pain to the point of severe bruising, welting and humiliation. She constantly pushed leading him into full exploration of Sadomasochism. She was the only woman who ever caused him to use his own safe word to stop the play. But the most unnerving aspect of his time with her was realizing and finally accepting he liked this darker side as well.
The issue haunting him now was uncertainty about Janine seeing that side of him. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten her by the intensity of such an experience. When he was like that, he was less controlled and ravenous but ever-present. Yet even in that state, the rules still applied—it had to be safe and sane. But he couldn’t bear the thought of her rejection because of pushing her too far, too soon.
The truth was, he’d already tested her. Shortly after reconnecting during their Belize trip, he took her to Club Spectra. Mortified by the more extreme dungeon play she witnessed, she literally begged him to leave. Even though they talked at length afterwards, he knew it was too much for her to accept. He seriously doubted she ever could.
Handing her the other glass, he finally said, “I love you, but you’re not ready for that.”
“I’m a big girl.”
“You’re also my wife.”
“So you’re going to treat me with kid gloves now?”
“That’s not it. You unleash something else in me far more powerful. That belongs to you and no one else.”
With a simple statement he made her feel as if she were the most important person in the world. Drinking the champagne in one gulp, she set the glass back down draping her arms over his shoulders.
“You unleash something in me too.”
There it was, the feeling that overwhelmed him anytime she said things like that. Her words seemed to shoot throughout his body while piercing his heart and brain with the exquisitely sublime. Resuming her kisses, her legs tightened around his waist drawing him closer still. Lifting her hips off the seat, she pressed her vagina against his penis under the water. Setting his glass down, he gently gripped her ass spreading her cheeks letting his fingers tickle and toy with her anus. Carefully inserting his middle finger, she writhed in the water with her eyes growing hazier with each skillful stroke.
With her legs still wrapped around him, she could feel his penis becoming more erect as he watched her. Removing his finger, he lifted her out of the water and placed her on the tub’s edge. The stark difference between the warm water and the cool evening air caused her body to shiver. He quickly moved in closer placing her legs over his shoulders and began vigorously feeding from her vagina. Her entire body quivered and shook from all the sensations she felt until she came. Placing her hands on the sides of his face, she tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t stop. She was losing focus as new waves of pleasure washed over her.
He finally pulled her back into the water mid orgasm, turned her around and entered her. Pinning her against the tub, he became ravenous. Water splashed over her back and out of the hot tub with each powerful thrust of his hips against hers. As good as the warm water felt, it was also a bit drying creating greater friction as he moved in and out of her. When he grabbed the back of her hair, she welcomed what came next. With greater force he moved in and out of her bringing her to her peak again. He was going to cum soon and likely harder than she had…assuming that was even possible. As he did, he let out a loud growl that seemed to echo in the night air.
CHAPTER 17
After sleeping in, they enjoyed a scrumptious breakfast on the deck before heading out for the day to Carmel and Monterey. With no particular plan, they simply strolled through galleries and boutiques nestled in quaint shopping villages. The air was crisp and their mood light as they causally perused shop after shop talking about quirky things that happened during the wedding festivities. Selecting a few choice bottles of wine, they didn’t buy much. Mostly it was a day full of laughter and discovery.
Rather than rush back to the resort, they chose to have an early dinner at a small bistro overlooking the ocean. As the sun began to set, they walked along the beach finding a spot to sit snuggling one another. In the distance, they saw sail boats moving across the calm waters as gulls flew overhead. There was no question the area had a calming effect on them both. The cares and pressures of fami
ly, friends and work were left far behind.
As the breeze picked up, she shivered.
“You getting cold?” he asked.
“Yeah, a little.”
“Why don’t we head back? We can curl up in front of that fireplace and enjoy the wine.”
“That sounds good. Maybe another dip in the hot tub?”
“Hmmm…I have something else in mind.”
“Really?”
“It’s tradition for the groom to present his bride with a gift.”
“I can only imagine, freaky man!”
He let out a hearty laugh. It had been a very long time since she called him that. He kissed her on the forehead before standing and helped her to her feet. They walked back to the car taking the hour plus drive south.
Arriving a little before nine, Janine uncorked the wine filling the glasses while he retrieved the gift. The rectangular box was beautifully wrapped with a lovely silver bow on top.
“You really didn’t have to do this. This honeymoon is already perfect.”
“I wanted to, now open it.”
Inside was a lovely teardrop necklace with a stunning diamond in its center.
“Michael, this is beautiful.”
“Here, let me put it on you.”
She turned with her back to him as he delicately draped it around her neck. It sat comfortably at the base of her neck with the diamond ornament nestling between her collarbones.
“How does it look?”
Taking her hand, he led her to the bathroom mirror and stood beside her as she admired it.
“What do you think?”
“It’s beautiful, but I’m surprised you bought this. You know I don’t usually wear things around my neck.”
“Actually…”
“You’re silly! You know what I mean!”
“This is special. Wear it for me.”
Watching his reflection in the mirror, she understood. Turning to face him, she said, “This is my collar.”
“Yes.”
She came in close slowly moving her hands across his chest and towards his back as she hugged him. Then whispering in his ear she asked, “And how should I mark you?”
“It marks us both.”
“How’s that?”
“No one but us will know its meaning.”
“I understand…Sir.”
Kissing him she nibbled at his ears before entwining her fingers to his walking towards the bed. Stopping short of it, she took off her clothes with wanting eyes fixed on his. Once naked, she began unbuttoning his shirt sliding it off his strong shoulders. Taking hold of his buckle, she pulled him to her as she sat on the bed. Slowly removing the belt, she handed it to him making clear what she wanted him to do as she rolled onto her stomach with her behind facing him.
His heart sank holding the belt in his hand. Since learning about what happened to her at the hands of her ex, he couldn’t bring himself to play with her that way.
“Baby, I can’t.”
Turning to face him, she saw the pained look on his face.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t do it.” He dropped the belt on the floor.
“You know.”
“I understand why you didn’t tell me…or anyone else for that matter.”
“I can’t believe my cousins told you. You should’ve heard it from me. Not them. I’m so sorry.”
“I’ll never ask you about it, if that’s what you want.”
“Michael, I need you to understand I couldn’t talk to anybody about it…not even Kelly and Monica. I told people at work I was in a car accident. It worked, so I said the same thing when they called to check on me.”
As she said it, he remembered hearing about an accident from Dave. The word was she was fine, but got banged up pretty badly.
“Why didn’t you report it?”
“At the time I was afraid it would come out.”
“What would come out?”
“Remember when you asked me why I never shared that side of myself-the play-with my ex-husband?”
“Yes.”
“I tried and things didn’t go as planned. He beat me because I tried to play with him.”
“What?”
It was bad enough to learn she’d been the victim of domestic violence. It was more incredulous to hear this.
“I picked up a little outfit and a few toys from a sex shop in the city…nothing too exotic. He was sleeping on the couch. I put it on, got the cuffs and…”
“Baby, you don’t have to…” He was becoming increasingly uncomfortable watching her struggling with the memory. Her eyes grew distant as she recalled the event.
“I put the cuffs on him and started touching him. But he woke up…screaming and yelling. Calling me everything but a child of God. So, of course I unfastened them but the berating didn’t stop. It escalated.”
“Did he ever display that kind of behavior towards you before?”
“No. I mean, he had a temper but up to that point it was never directed at me. There were so many other things that were really great about him. I had no reason to think he’d…do what he did.”
“But the son of a bitch did.”
She nodded continuing, “I didn’t say a word because I was so stunned. I finally went to the bedroom to take off the outfit. He followed me, looking at me as if I was the filthiest thing he’d ever seen. That’s when he grabbed me by my hair and threw me on the floor. He got a belt and he said, “You like that kinky shit, huh? I got something for your ass” and then he whipped me across my back with it.
I tried to get away from him, but every time I moved, he kicked me in my ribs, or punched and slapped me. And then he said, “Is this what you want bitch! You like this shit?” He just kept hitting me. The more he hit, I started thinking God was punishing me because of what I did…with you.”
“Janine, it’s not the same!” he implored mortified at the suggestion.
“I know that, but we both know there are people who don’t see it that way. They can’t see what it really is. The truth is, when you’re going through something traumatic, none of your thoughts are rational. You have to believe you did something to deserve what’s happening to you. You’re trying desperately to make sense of the nightmare.”
“Abusive fucks always want you to believe it’s your fault.”
“I know that, but at the time I took the blame and all his rage begging him to stop. When it was finally over, he got in bed and went to sleep like nothing happened. I slept on the floor. The next morning, he didn’t say a word to me but looked at me with the same contempt. When he went to work, I could barely move but I got up, took a shower and got dressed. Then I saw myself in the mirror and remembered what my mother told me. If a man ever put his hands on me, get out because if he does it once, he’ll do it again. He could kill me.
So I packed my things and called my office. I told them I’d be out because I’d been in an accident. I drove myself to the airport and got a ticket home. I sat in that Charlotte airport for hours because I was too ashamed to go home. It took every bit of strength I had to finally get in a cab.
When Mom came home from work, she found me curled up in bed. She screamed like I’ve never heard before. After calming down, she sat beside me and called the others. I didn’t have to tell her who did it or what happened. She’d seen enough of it at the hospital to know. I didn’t talk for days, but one by one, they took turns taking care of me. They saved my life and helped me feel whole again.” Tears streamed down her face as she finished her story.
Michael’s heart was breaking all over again. All he wanted to do was envelop her in his love. But strangely guilt began washing over him and he couldn’t contain it. Intellectually he understood the difference between their play and the violence she experienced. But he’d sworn to himself when her cousins first told him about the abuse he’d never use a belt with her again.
“Baby, I don’t even know what to say. I can’t even imagine you going thr
ough that.”
“Funny thing is, part of the shame was thinking this kind of thing doesn’t happen to women like me. We’re supposed to be smarter, more independent. But it does happen. Money or status doesn’t make a damn bit of difference.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
For the first time since she starting her story, she looked at him. All the pain she’d shared ebbed away. “I’m sorry I never told.”
“Don’t be. I understand.”
“I used to be embarrassed and ashamed, but I’m not anymore. I survived it.”
“You’re one the strongest people I’ve ever known. It’s one of the many reasons why I love you so much. And you know I’d never…”
“Don’t even say it. I know you’d never do anything like that to me. All you’ve ever wanted was to love me.”
“The belts are a hard limit, you know that right?”
“Why would you say that?”
“I can’t use it to play with you again.”
She lovingly touched the side of his pained face and said, “You remember our first night together at the hotel when I came to D.C. for the conference?”
“Yes.” The memory of that night was vivid.
“You had me facing the mirror and you struck me with your belt.”
He couldn’t answer her. Recalling what happened he was feeling sick to his stomach knowing the details he now knew. He’d shared a darker side of himself, a side she’d never seen or experienced before or since.
“It was amazing because I do understand the difference. I knew-even with the pain-what was happening between us was love, desire and testing new limits. It reminded me of just how much you loved me. How I always had a choice in everything that happened. How you’d always take care of me. How you’d never let anything or anyone hurt me. I truly felt safe and more loved than I can put words to.”
“I hear you, but Baby…I can’t ever use it again. I won’t.”
“Okay. But more important, I’m okay. I need you to understand that.”
He sighed deeply, gazing into eyes confirming her words. It was difficult for him to let go of images of her cowering in some corner as she was beaten so savagely. He held her tighter wishing he’d been there to protect her. As much as he tried, he simply couldn’t let it go even as she began kissing his neck and rubbing his chest moving her hands lower.
Their Now and Forever (Book III) (The Allen Trilogy 3) Page 12