by Lucy Rinaldi
I giggle as he taps my nose with his fingertip. “I love you so much more than I ever thought possible”
“Oh. My. God, will you two get a room!” When did she come in?
“Yeah, funny, Sam. We’re just talking”
“That makes a change. Have you upset her?” I really wish she wouldn’t be so harsh with him all the time; it really makes me angry inside. I know she worries, but not everyone is like Elijah.
“No, Sam, he hasn’t. Well, not in a bad way” I shoot her a wide smile, because if I don’t she’ll just go on and on like she does.
“Okay, good. But are you okay, you know after?” She motions with her head as if to say after-what-happened-with-your-son. God, she’s gonna go on and on about it!
“I’m fine” I say with a smile. I’m not fine but I don’t want to think on what happened at Roberto’s and what he did to my baby, not yet at least. I watch as Sam grabs Alex’s hand and pulls him toward her. Both of them seem giddy, like a pair of teenagers who just lost their virginity to each other. “You two seem happy”
“We are” She giggles. I can imagine what they’ve been up to. Filthy fuckers! She smiles at Alex, they look so happy together, it’s touching she deserves to be happy and I’m glad it’s with Alex they really are perfect for each other.
~ ~ ~
Chapter Seventeen.
After some chit chat about contraception and the facts of life, which Blake is so sarcastically enforcing upon Alex, why I don’t know. The realization hits me that he’s never once used contraception with me, or even asked if I’m on the pill, and he doesn’t seem to have a problem emptying himself into me quite freely! The thoughts... Hmm, even though I am on the pill, which is a good thing but still! Mind you I can hardly talk, it’s not like I’ve ever asked him to use a condom. God, I’m a whore! I mentally kick myself. I finally got Sam alone in the kitchen, we don’t talk enough anymore. “I’m so happy for you” I pull her into a tight Mercedes Moretti hug and kiss her cheek. Pulling her at arm’s length I smile at her. “It’s so nice to see you with a man that treats you like Alex does”
“He’s great”
“Hey, what’s this? Why the tears?” I whisper softly. She shrugs and wipes a tear from her eye.
“I’m just a little overwhelmed; I’ve never been with a man like Alex before”
“A man like Alex?” I laugh. “Alex is sweet, kind, loving. You’re very lucky”
“Lucky” She snickers.
“Look, stop thinking about things going wrong. He loves you that much is obvious, and if you keep thinking something will go wrong, it will, but only because you’ll drive him away. Don’t be stupid, Sam, think positive. Everything will be wonderful, trust me” Yes, I’m well aware I should take my own advice. But this kind of advice is hard for me take, even though I willingly enforce it on my best friend, it somehow seems fitting for her.
“You know, I think you’ve seen too many shrinks, you’ve started to sound like one” She laughs through her tears, like I just told her the most amazing joke.
“Don’t laugh, you cow. But seriously, it’s true, I just want you to know you’re not alone. I’m here for you, just like always. You remember how we once were?” I smile to myself, because I know she remembers, she remembers all those times we’ve been together, all those times we needed each other. I shouldn’t be thinking about that now, not now I have Blake, but sometimes it’s hard not to think about it.
“I know we were good together. I think about it sometimes, you and me and the things you did to me”
“You loved it” I smile to myself.
“I did, you’re the only one who can make me come like that”
“Doesn’t Alex make you come like that?”
“No” She shakes her head. “He makes me come so good, but I don’t know, Sadie, even with Alex I can’t seem to let myself go like I did with you”
“You will” I wink at her. Sam and I we had a strange friendship all the way from childhood until she met Alex. I do miss the connection we had, we were in no way lesbians, we were just close and I liked fucking her, and she loved the things I did to her. In some ways she was very much submissive for me, and I for her, even though I’ve never let her touch me like I did her. I guess we loved each other in some strange kind of way.
“So” She says changing the subject.
“So, what?” I don’t know if she’s asking me to tell her something or if she wants to tell me something, but she’s got that look on her face again.
“So, how is it really going with Dr. Wonderful?” I look down at my feet; trying to hide the fact my face has gone bright red, and the smile that’s spread across threatening to split my cheeks apart.
“What?” she giggles.
“Sam” I look up to meet her gaze, so full of joy and wonder. “Sam, he’s just, I don’t know. He’s just so wonderful. He makes me feel like I can do anything. I feel beautiful and sexy all the time when he’s around me. I don’t have to pretend I’m something I’m not, I can just be me and that’s enough for him. I can and have told him things about me, things I never wanted him to know, yet he still stays and loves me like he promised he would”
“He really makes you feel all of that?”
“And more” I nod; her face suddenly breaks out into a huge smile. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
“Sam I... I think I am”
“No, Sadie, you are. The way you talk about him, the way you look at him, watching his every move like you’re drinking him in, etching the sight of him into your brain. And the way your eyes light up whenever he walks into the room. Jeez, Sadie, I could go on and on because there’s so much. And it’s so obvious that he’s madly in love with you” Madly In love with me? She brushes my bangs to the side of my face, out of my eyes with her index and middle fingers and smiles. I roll my eyes at her because I know she wants me to say it.
“Gah, fine. I’m in love with him. Okay? I’m so in love with him it stifles me sometimes to the point I can’t breathe. I love him like I didn’t know I could love another person. I didn’t know it was possible to fall for someone so soon, but I have. I watched him talking to Alex just now, the same way I watch him when he sits next to me, because I’m so afraid that he’ll wake up one day and realize I’m not worth it and leave me. I can’t bear it, Sam, it hurts so badly” I don’t know where all that came from, it just tripped out and kept coming.
“Is that how you really feel?” Shit! What? I jump out of my skin and turn to see Blake leaning against the kitchen door frame, his arms folded and one foot over the other, looking sexy as fuck still in sweats and T-shirt.
“Blake, I um” He walks toward me and strokes my face with the back of his hand tenderly before tucking my hair behind my ear.
“Samantha, could you give us a minute?”
“Sure, Blake. Love you, Sadie”
“Love you, too, babe” I watch her leave the room and close the door behind her. My hearts pounding in my ears, and I feel scared, even though I’ve done nothing wrong.
“Do I make you feel like that?” I nod because I’m scared the if I try and speak my voice will be so small nothing will come out. “I’m not going to leave you, Mercy. I don’t know just how to prove it to you yet, but I will, you can count on it” He kisses my forehead and pulls me into his arms. “You really love me, huh?” I can sense his smile as he says it, that and the sound of his contented heartbeat soothes me.
“Yes,” I lift my head off his chest and look into his beautiful blue eyes. “I really, really love you,” I say it with such feeling, because I need him to know how much I love him; I don’t want him to ever doubt it. I just don’t know why I feel this pang of guilt? I always thought what I had with Elijah had been love, but now I know it can’t have been because I never felt like this for him. I shiver at the thought of Elijah and his idea of love.
“Cold, baby?”
“A little. Come on let’s go” Taking his hand in mine, I pull him towa
rd the door, but he pulls me back against him, so we’re chest to chest and nose to nose. I wrap my arms around his neck as his snake warmly around my waist, he pulls me so close I can feel his erection through his sweats pressing against my stomach. Whenever he’s near me he’s hard! Makes me smile to think I have that kind of effect on him. His left hand travels down the small of my back and over my ass, grabbing me, pulling me hard against him. “Blake, what are you doing? Sam and Alex are right next door, they could hear us or come in any second!” I cannot believe he wants to do this, and here of all places.
“You better not scream, then” His lips connect with mine and instantly I feel it in my groin, the sweet burning tingle that’s now traveling through my body, as his tongue assaults my mouth. He kisses me so deeply and so passionately, his need and desperation for me taking over him. His hands travel up and down my back; he grabs my ass so tightly it makes me moan against his mouth. His erection is now so hard against me, and the fact we could be caught at any minute not only scares me but thrills me. I’m so turned on it’s unreal; I’m throbbing already from the pressure of his massive erection pressing against me in just the right spot. My thighs start shaking, as he starts kissing my neck. His hands lock around my waist and I have to grab his upper arms to keep myself steady, I know my legs are going to give way on me. My body’s like Jell-O. His lips, damn his lips skim my jaw, making me pant and moan like crazy. Every muscle in my body tenses, working overtime to keep up with my desperate need for his touch, and his command for my release. Every touch of his lips against my skin feels like silk. It feels to me as though he’s gently marking my skin, marking me as his. Nothing could feel more perfect than that. My nipples tighten painfully against the fabric of my top as kisses the hollow of my neck.
“Mmm, Blake, don’t tease me, please” My voice is barely a whisper on the last word, and my minds on nothing other than him inside me, claiming me, making me his. I’m so turned on by the thought of him taking me here like this that I think I might explode. “Ah! Blake, please” He pulls away from me, and then lifts me off the ground, my legs automatically wrapping themselves around his waist while my arms snake around his neck. My eyes roll to the back of my head as he sucks and kisses my neck, and my clit throbs something wonderful.
“These are the times I wish you wore skirts” He breathes against my neck. I haven’t worn a skirt in a long time, Elijah would never allow me to wear one. I was only allowed to wear dresses that touched the floor for parties, and only if they were long sleeved and he said it was okay to do so. But, I would wear one for Blake, hell I would do anything he asked of me. I want him so badly right now I’d do anything. He lays me down on the kitchen counter. I’m twinging and shaking with desire, I’m breathing so heavily I’m sure they can hear it in Canada! “Ssshh, baby, we don’t want an audience” Fuck! I didn’t realize I was moaning so loudly! But an audience is just what I like. I watch him closely as he lifts me by my hips and grabs the waistband of my pajamas, yanking them down taking my panties with them. He grabs my thighs and pulls me down toward him and hard onto his cock making me cry out. He leans over me so his chests against mine, he clasps his hand over my mouth silencing me. “Ssshh, baby. Ssshh, that’s my good girl” Holy Fucking Hell! I tilt my hips up to meet his hard assaulting thrusts; and I’m screaming inside, but I’m stifled by his hand still over my mouth. God, I love this feeling of being restrained in some way. “You belong to me now” He whispered in my ear. I shuddered as my eyes rolled. “Don’t you?” Again he whispered. I nodded my head as best I could. “Say it” He lifted his hand slightly from my mouth, allowing me to answer him.
“I belong to you”
“Yes, you do. Mine!” He hissed as he places his hand over my mouth again. He has no idea how what he’s just said has made me feel. I have to belong to someone, it’s just who I am. Belonging to him is all I’ve dreamed about since I first met him, and now here he is demanding that I belong to him. He thrusts so hard into me that the sound of his thighs hitting the backs of mine vibrates off the walls. He thrusts harder and faster, the air escaping from between his clenched teeth. Fuck! “Please let me come, please” I scream inside my head because my body’s so high, I don’t know how much longer I can stand his punishing thrusts. I dig my fingernails into his shoulders, making him moan, and my eyes close on me involuntarily at the sound of his moans, and the fact I’m so high I can’t take anymore. “Come for me, baby. Come quickly” Holy Fuck! I hear that and I’m gone, I’m on the roller coaster down, down, round and round. Fuck! I have the most amazing orgasms with this man! He grabs my hips with both hands and thrusts hard into me one last time then stills himself. I feel his cock throb and pulsate as he comes hard and so deep inside me. He leans down and kisses me, both of us breathing heavily.
“You are so bad!”
“Is that so? Well, Mercy” He pulls out of me so sharply it makes me gasp. I watch him bend down and pull his sweats up. I sit up on the edge of the counter, still only half dressed as he hands me pajama bottoms and panties. I take them and get to my feet, pulling them on. I wince a little because I’m kind of sore after that hard fuck. “You make me bad” He pulls me into his arms and kisses me.
“How do I? I do nothing!” I can’t help but laugh.
“You make me bad in a good way; you make me believe in myself. You make me believe I’m more than I ever thought I could be” Oh, Wow! I don’t know what to say to that. “Now come, our friends are probably wondering where we are” He takes my hand, turns me around and swots me on my behind making me jump. My heads spinning, it just accrued to me that my man’s a little insecure...
~ ~ ~
Chapter Eighteen.
For the past few days I’ve hardly slept; and eating has become a big problem, because whenever I eat, I throw up giving me terrible headaches, which in turn makes me snappy. Mostly with Blake which I hate, I don’t like snapping at him I feel awful afterward. He just takes it all in his stride and gives me space to calm down. Which is weird when I’m not used to it. I don’t understand how he doesn’t flip and hit me! But he doesn’t, and even though I get scared that he might, my confidence in him is growing, as is my courage to be my old self once more. “Can no one in this damned house, put things away after themselves? Why the fuck is it always left to me?!”
“Sadie, jeez, calm down. I’ll do it now,” Sam and I are the only ones home, it’s Friday and both Alex and Blake are at work. Alex works at B.T.B, I don’t know what he does there, and to be honest I don’t give a fuck! I’m in the foulest mood today, banging cupboard doors and slamming things down as I go. I think my medication may need reviewing. I only feel this angry when it does.
“I can do it my fucking self. I’m used to it”
“Sadie, what the fuck, is wrong with you?”
“I don’t fucking know, do I?!” There’s seriously, no need for me to speak to her that way, she hasn’t done anything wrong.
“Okay, jeez, I’m sorry” She holds her hands up in a mock I-surrender kind of way. Her eyes scan me as if to find an answer as to why I’m so hostile. I look at her standing there in her bright blue jeans and white camisole, her hair tied in a ponytail and I think to myself, how can she look so hot all the damn time without even trying?! “Have you taken your medication?” I huff and roll my eyes. “I’m just wondering. I’m not trying to upset you” I fold my arms around myself. “Look, I don’t know what’s wrong, but I wish you’d tell me what’s bothering you so that I can help you feel better”
“Nothings wrong, okay? Just leave it. Yeah? The boys will be home soon and I don’t want loads of questions from Blake today. I’m just not in the mood”
“Yeah, that much is obvious. I wish you’d talk to me, you used to tell me everything”
“Yeah, till you went and blabbed my life to Alex!” I can feel myself boiling again. Is this it, is this what’s wrong with me? The fact she broke my trust by breaking her promises? I mean, how I can ever trust her now I know that she’ll tel
l Alex everything? The truth is, I just don’t feel comfortable telling her anything anymore. Ugh! I just hate myself right now, I hate everything about myself, my scars, legs, hair, stomach, hell, even my own face makes me angry. “Shake it off, Mercedes” Of course she’s right, the voice in my head, there’s no point hashing this out with myself it won’t get me anywhere. I wish Clyde was around, I miss him so much, and right now I know he’s the only one who can make me feel better about things. But he’s not around, he’s traveling with his cousin. God, why do my friends always have to leave when I need them the most? Jesus Christ, how selfish did that sound? Poor Sam the look on her face makes my stomach flip, she looks so hurt.
“I was worried, and he asked me what was wrong. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to tell him it just came out”
“Yeah, well, what’s done is done. I have to get out of here for a while, I feel like I’m suffocating” I grab my black leather jacket and pull it on over my black camisole, releasing my overly long ponytail from the back of it. I take a quick glance at myself in the mirror, I look younger somehow, I’m guessing the makeup I’m wearing helps, that and I’m wearing black skinny jeans and black flats. I really should try wearing more color. I grab my cell and my purse from the dinner table and give Sam a quick hug.
“Where are you going?”
“Don’t look so worried. I just need to take a walk. I’ll be back in time for when the boys get here. I just need some space to clear my head” I smile at her, kiss her cheek, then leave before she gets a chance to say anything else. I don’t know where I’m going, my minds gone blank but this is what I need after three months of Sam, Alex and Blake.