by Lucy Rinaldi
“I obliged because I could see how turned on you were, and it turned me on like I’ve never felt before. And I’d do it again, but I will never hurt you like he did, no matter what you do. I’d rather die, Mercy” Oh, erm, wow!
I pull his arms around my chest and kiss the muscle on his right upper arm. “I know” I smile, because he makes me feel so loved and cherished. How does he do that?
~ ~ ~
Chapter Twenty Three.
“Where are we going?” I whine at my brother as he drives along what he calls the motorway, although to me it’s the freeway! My brother looks good in his black jeans and white shirt. But I believe my brother should always be in fine clothing, he’s too posh and handsome for jeans!
“Dude, your sister moans too much, man”
Cheeky Bastard!
Noel sits next to my brother in the passenger seat, dressed in his usual black jeans and black shirt. I wonder if that man owns any other clothes! “Hey, you cheeky fuck!” I kick the back of his seat with considerable force, sending him forward, making not only him but my brother and Blake laugh loudly.
“God, she’s still violent. Blake, man, how do you put up with her?” I look at Blake with a, you-better-not-even-try-me-today-mister kind of look.
He smiles at me and winks. “Easy. I don’t piss her off” My brother and Noel burst out laughing. Like this is fucking funny?
“Did she tell you about her violent attack on Robbie’s ex?” Oh My God! What the hell? The utter prick!
“No. What attack?” Blake looks at me in wonder, scanning me as Noel goes all out telling Blake all about how I beat and threatened Tina, and how great it was.
“She beat his girlfriend so badly she broke her nose, it was fucking class” Blake does not look impressed with me, which makes my stomach turn horribly. “It was great I swear you should have seen her go” I fold my arms across my body and turn away from Blake’s gaze.
Noel seems to have finished his story, and turns up the radio to the sound of Katy Perry’s California Girls. Both he and my brother start singing out loud, directing the lyrics at me. “Do you two wankers think you’re funny? I swear to God! Fuck off or else!” I don’t know where all this anger has come from, but it’s like a fire within me, a fire that burns for all to see.
Robbie turns down the Radio and shoots Noel a look of Oh-Dear. “Jesus, Sadie. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or what?”
“Nah, man, it’s P.M.S”
“Noel, I swear to fucking God!” I just wanna scream, they’re all really getting to me today. Everything they say or do makes me want to stab them to death!
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”
“Just leave me the hell alone, Blake!” He looks at me and arches his eyebrow and all I want to do is smack him in the face. But I’m scared of what he’d do to me if I did, and so I just turn away from him again. He takes my hand, but I snatch it from his grasp. I don’t want him to touch me; I want to scream and hit something!
“Wow, you really are in a bad mood”
“You have no idea!”
No one spoke for the rest of the journey, and if I’m honest it was borderline uncomfortable. We finally reach our destination, and even though I have no clue where I am, I get out of the car, slam the door, and storm off across the car park away from them. I feel so damn angry I could burst. Jesus, I want to scream! “Mercy, wait” Oh god, can’t he just fucking leave me alone?! He grabs my arm, swinging me around to face him.
“What?! What the fuck do you want?!”
“Mercy, what the fuck? Jesus, calm down. Talk to me”
“I don’t want to talk to you, Blake. Just leave me alone! Why the fuck did you even come here, huh? I was fine before you stormed back into my life like some damn... Stalker!” Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever felt this angry toward another person before!
“I came because I wanted to make sure you were okay. To tell you I missed you. That I love you” He puts his hand out to touch me, but I move back from him. I can’t bear it right now.
“Well, I don’t love you, and I don’t want you touching me. So just go, yeah? Just go home; go back to your nice life and your nice family and friends, and just leave me alone to get on with my pathetic life!” My self-hate is at an all-time high today!
“Why are you saying this, Mercy?” God, I wish he wouldn’t look at me like that, like I just ripped his heart out with my bare hands. “I know you love me; I feel it every time you’re near me”
“You’re stupid. All you feel is my need to fuck and be fucked by you, nothing more”
“Don’t do this. Don’t pretend not to love me, because I don’t believe you” God, he’s so frustrating! I rub my forehead, why the hell am I doing this? I know if he walks away from me now I’ll die! “Jesus, Mercedes, stop! Calm down or you’ll lose him, you stupid bitch!” God, I know she’s right, the voice in my head, but my heads pounding with anger, and all I want to do is scream my lungs out. “You can push and push all you want, Mercedes, but I’m not leaving you” He walks over to me and stands stock still in front of me, his fingertips tucked inside his jeans pockets so as not to touch me. “I love you, Mercedes. Why won’t you let me love you?”
“Because I’m not worth it, Blake. When will you understand, I have never been worth it? I’m a whore, a plaything for men, nothing more. You would have been better off with your ex or whatever the hell she was to you” His eyes widen, staring at me like a caged animal at the zoo. My heart jumps into my throat, I’m so scared that he’ll do something to hurt me, even though I know he never would. But I still don’t know how to trust him fully, and I don’t know what I can and can’t do around him yet.
“Mercedes, what am I going to do with you?”
“Leave me alone?”
He smiles and shakes his head. I don’t understand why he won’t go? I mean I know he says he loves me, but I just think he’s crazy. Or am I? His hand finds my face, caressing me so gently. My eyes close at his touch. “I love you. Please believe me. I will spend my life loving you, no matter what. I will always be here to tell you every day how beautiful you are, and how much I love you. Because I do, more than anything. Please don’t lock your heart away from me, Mercy. I gave you the key to mine now give me the key to yours” I feel a tear fall from my eye. He’s so damn sweet to me, even when I’m a total bitch to him.
I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him so tightly against me. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I do love you; I really do, you are everything to me. I’d die without you” I don’t feel so angry anymore, I just feel sad and stupid. These mood swings are getting really bad; I can’t keep up with them anymore. Christ, I need to see my doctor, I need to have my pills reviewed. I can feel an episode coming on, and I would literally die if he saw that!
“I know, baby girl. I know” He kisses my head softly, and just holds me close for a few moments. “Your brother and his very English friend are waiting for us. Are you ready for your surprise now?”
“My surprise?” I lift my head to look at him. I’m a little confused not to mention embarrassed. I didn’t know he planned a surprise, and here I am ruining the whole day for everyone with my bitch moods.
“Yes, baby, Robbie organized it all for me this morning” I take his outstretched hand and follow him with a confused smile on my face.
“Better now?” My brother asks with a smile on his face. He’s so used to me behaving like this that it stopped bothering him many years ago. Kind of funny really because I used to behave this way a lot when I was a little girl around my brothers. None of them could cope, well, all but Robbie. Robbie knew just how to calm me. Angelo would try, but he’d get frustrated with me, slap me for being a brat and walk away.
“Yes. I’m sorry I’m a basket case”
“It’s quite alright, I still love you”
“Even though I’m a bitch?”
“Even though you’re a bitch” He smile
s at me and winks then hugs me. I do love him, he never takes my mood swings to heart.
~ ~ ~
The three of them led me toward an old fashioned Victorian style house made of wood slats, white and cream in color with two small windows above a sign reading “A Victorian experience day- The Kent and east Sussex railway” What the hell?! He’s brought me to see the steam trains! I can’t believe it; I’m so excited, I feel like a little girl at the fun fair! My eyes light up when I hear the whistle of the steam train departing the railway, and I can’t wait to get in there and see them for myself. I squeeze Blake’s arm and smile up at him. “Excited?”
“How did you know I wanted to see this?”
“I know a lot about you. That and your brother told me” He winks at me. I look over at my brother and Noel, who are both smiling at me. I can’t wipe the smile off my face as we walk through old buildings and hay barns filled with Victorian steam engines, no longer in use. I snap pictures on my phone so I can show Sam, she’ll love it. I watch people walking passed dressed in real Victorian dress wear, and I’m lost in wonder. This is fantastic! We finally stand on the railway, they’re taking me on the train; I’m actually going to ride a steam train! I stare in wonder at the massive five carriage red and black steam train that sits next to the platform ready for passengers to board. The noise of its engine is deafening, but I don’t care I’m loving every minute of this day. We get into what Robbie tells me is the main cabin, which only lords and ladies of old would have traveled in. The cabin is absolutely beautiful. Everything is shrouded in pale blue velvet, a couch on the left, a wooden table and two chairs that match the couch, sit on the right of the cabin, beneath two windows. Even the curtains and drapes are blue velvet. Four oil lamps sit within the ceiling. I can’t believe my eyes; this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I look at Blake, my face beaming with a, I’m-in-total-shock kind of smile. “Good surprise?”
“Yes. The best. It’s beautiful”
“Like you” I lean up and kiss him. This is just beyond anything I ever imagined.
“Thank you”
“You’re welcome, my baby. Come take a seat next to me” Excitedly, I sit on the long blue velvet couch next to Blake, his hand in mine as his thumb stroking my knuckles rhythmically, as I stare at Robbie and Noel who have taken a seat opposite us on the chairs beneath the window. The train pulls out of the station, and it’s so exhilarating watching the trees go by and seeing the steam blow past the window. I stare in wonder with a smile on my face. This is the best day of my life!
“Good surprise, sis?”
“Oh, yes the best!” Robbie smiles at me; I can tell this meant a lot to him too. He’s just as amazing as my man. They really do love me, and I feel it all around me, warming me like a blanket on a cold winters day.
The train ride lasted about thirty minutes and we spent the whole journey laughing and joking together, all four of us really letting go. It’s so good seeing Blake laugh, he looks so carefree and young. I watched him for a while, drinking in the sight of him laughing, it made me forget all the bad things that have happened to me, and it felt so good. I caught my brother looking at me smiling, it made me smile because he seems so happy that Blake’s the reason I’m smiling. “Shall we eat?”
“Noel, my dear friend, is that all you think about?”
“Yes. Come on, I’m wasting away. Some best friend you are” They sound like Sam and me; it makes me miss her so much. I hope she’s okay.
Robbie drove us to a restaurant near where he lives. I think he got a bit sick of listening to Noel moan on about food, even though he didn’t want to eat yet because of us having to go to a function tonight. The hospital he works for is holding a charity dinner to raise money for sick children. I couldn’t say no to going because to be honest I’d like to meet my brother’s colleagues. I’m very proud of him. He works as a pediatrician at Great Ormond street hospital, which is quite a few miles from where Robbie lives, but he loves his job, he’s very good at what he does, and works just as hard. “What would you like to eat, sis?” We sit in a small booth made for four people. It’s 2.15pm and I could really do with a nap, I feel so tired all of a sudden. Which, if I’m honest is nothing new when I need my medication reevaluating. I take my seat next to Blake and I can’t seem to take my eyes off him. He looks so sexy dressed in black jeans, white T-shirt and a black leather jacket. God, I could eat him, he looks that good! “Sis?”
“Hmm, what? Oh, salad please”
“Salad? Man, you’re such a girl!”
“Fuck you, Noel!” He’s such a pig, but he makes me laugh as he sticks out his tongue to me in jest. I don’t think this trip would have been as much fun without him around. The boys all ordered the steak with baby potatoes and vegetables. I doubt they’ll eat anything much later on after this.
“You need to eat some meat”
“Meat? What are you talking about, Blake? You know I don’t eat meat” I’m not a vegetarian, I just don’t like the taste of meat.
He leans into me so his foreheads against my temple. “You seem to enjoy eating my meat” His voice is a low, seductive whisper in my ear and it sends tingles to my groin, and makes my eyes roll momentarily.
I look up at him smirking at me. “Blake! Shut up,” I swot his arm. I can’t believe he can be so damn dirty! Actually, I can after last night’s escapades. He winks at me making me smile shyly. I don’t embarrass easily, but I can feel the heat in my cheeks. He squeezes my thigh gently and leaves his hand there throughout the whole meal, only moving it every now and again to cut his steak.
~ ~ ~
Chapter Twenty Four.
“How do I look?” It’s 7.30pm and I’m standing in front of my brother and Blake, dressed in a floor length silk over the shoulder pale blue cocktail dress. I chose this dress last week. I liked it because my back is totally covered so no scars are visible, but it shows cleavage making me feel sexy. My hair is clipped up on both sides, but cascading down my back, letting my natural curls loose. My brother is dressed in a dark gray suit and white shirt; his hairs slicked back showing his stunning smile. Blake, my gorgeous Blake is dressed in a navy blue dress suit with a white shirt and pale blue tie, one that matches my dress. His hair is still long, but neat, and he looks so handsome! The blue of his suit makes his eyes seem even bluer.
“You look beautiful, little sister” I smile at my brother, then look at Blake. I need his opinion; his eyes scan me up and down. I watch as his lips curl into a wide smile.
“You look breathtakingly beautiful” I smile shyly as he holds out his hand to me. He leads me outside to the car that awaits us. Tonight we’re being driven by a chauffeur, in a white limousine. I feel like a movie star on my way to a premier!
~ ~ ~
We walk into the function room at the Holendell Hotel, and I’m overcome by the beauty of the room, decorated with flowers of all kinds, round tables with six chairs around each one. The tables are decorated with a single white rose in a small vase, while candles rest in beautiful brass holders. The lighting is just breathtaking. The room is packed with people dressed in stunning cocktail dresses and suits, jeez so many people! Robbie told me that a lot of the people here are rich, famous, or celebrities of some kind. I don’t recognize anyone famous, though. Then again, I’m not looking! We’re seated on one of the larger tables near the center of the room. Although we haven’t taken our seats yet Robbie told me that we’d be seated with a few of his colleagues and their partners. “Dr. Hamilton-Forbes, how nice to see you” A young woman dressed in a short black cocktail dress with her short bob style blonde hair, shakes my brother’s hand while smiling at him. She’s actually quite pretty. I envy my brother not having Roberto’s surname. But then again, if I knew who my real father was I’d use his surname and call him dad, just to get away from the horror that is Roberto Moretti!
“Veronica, how nice to see you” My brother snakes, one arm around her waist and kisses her cheek. “Veronica, I’d like you to
meet my little sister, Mercedes, and her partner Dr. Blake Benedict. Mercedes, Blake, this is Dr. Veronica Bailey. She works alongside me in the pediatric wards” She smiles politely and shakes my hand then Blake’s.
“It’s very nice to meet you both,” She’s all smiles and pearly white teeth, and so obviously smitten with my brother. I can’t say as I blame her, he is quite a catch. I watch him watching her. Oh, he likes her too, the thought makes me smile. “It’s very nice to meet you in person” I narrow my eyes as she addresses Blake. It makes me laugh inwardly at his obvious discomfort. She seems to sense it. She smiles knowingly at him. She obviously recognized him, but then most people have already. “So, you’re a Doctor?” She asks Blake with a smile.
“Yes. I’m a surgeon”
“A surgeon? Wow, a noble profession. Any particular kind of surgery?”
“I’m a heart surgeon. But as you know surgeries vary depending on what day it is” Blake smiles. She smiles at Blake and then looks at me.
“How wonderful. You must be proud of him”
“I am, I’m very proud of him” I smile up at him, and then kiss his cheek. I am proud of him, he’s very good at what he does. “I’m proud of both of them” I say with a wider smile.
“It shows” She smiles sweetly at me. I like her already, she has a sweet nature.
The night goes by smoothly, people bidding on things, and buying things, making quite a lot of money for the hospital. Veronica politely asked about Robbie’s and my background, and if we had different fathers and would that be the reason we speak with different accents. Robbie smiled at her and then told her how we have different mothers, who are in fact sisters. He then told her that we don’t actually have the same father, which means we are only in fact cousins, but as we were brought up as brother and sister that’s what we shall remain. She was so kind about it and didn’t force any opinion upon us, other than how she would do exactly the same if she were in our position. I really do like her, I could be real friends with her given the chance. I watch my brother as he mingles with his friends and colleagues; he’s so polite and well mannered. He spent time introducing both myself and Blake to everyone, and explaining how Blake’s a top surgeon in Los Angeles, and how if ever they need to consult a Doctor in America they should give him a call. Blake seemed so at home amongst all those Doctors, and I loved seeing him so relaxed. Ninety nine percent of the people here seemed to recognize him, but each time someone did, he would usher me away from them like he didn’t want anybody telling me who he really was. Is he actually crazy enough to think I wouldn’t know who he really is? Or maybe he just likes feeling normal around me.