Damaged (Bound & Tied Book 1)

by Lucy Rinaldi

  “Oi!” I giggle.

  “Alex is wearing the same, but with a navy blue tie, and my man combed his hair”

  “Have they dressed to match us?”

  “Yes, I made them” I can’t help but laugh at her controlling ways. “Come on, Sadie, we’ll be late” She struts off and I hear Alex say. “Oh baby, you look amazing”

  I breathe deeply and walk nervously out of my bedroom as best I can without tripping in these heels. “Wow!” The look on my man’s face says it all, he likes it. Phew! Now I feel pretty, sexy even. Pretty sexy for my man. I twirl around to show him the full effect. He takes my hand and motions me to twirl once more for him, making me giggle as I do so. “You look, wow. Just, wow!”

  “That good?”

  “Oh baby, you have no idea. You take my breath away” He bends and kisses my lips. “How am I supposed to keep my hands off you when you look like this?” That actually makes me blush. “I’ve got a hardon just looking at you” He whispers against my lips.

  “Well, Dr., who said I want you keeping your hands to yourself?” He smiles his I’m-gonna-fuck-you-so-good smile.

  “If you two are quite finished whispering” Oh, Alex has an impatient side. Which only makes me think he is the dominant type. God, Sam is so lucky!

  Blake decided he wanted to drive us in his new car. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m dying to! “Which one’s yours, bro?” I’m guessing Alex hasn’t seen it either. But then it did only arrive today!

  “The red one” Blake points at a gorgeous red convertible parked on the left side of the parking lot.

  “Are you kidding me, bro?” What the heck is so funny?

  “You think my car’s funny, dick weed?”

  “No” I’m intrigued as to what the hell Sam and Alex think is so funny, even as we’re driving down the road they laugh. I don’t get it.

  “What the hell are you both laughing at? Anyone would think you’d never seen a red car before”

  “Sadie, it’s not the color, it’s the make. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed?” Sam doesn’t seem to be able to stop laughing as she says this to me. I turn in my seat to look at her and shake my head.

  “Bro, tell your girl what make this car is” I don’t get why they’re laughing at him, it’s really starting to piss me off! And Sam should know never to piss me off! I may have been abused by men most of my life thanks to Roberto, but before Elijah I was quite a bad tempered madam. And she above everyone else should know what happens when I lose my temper. Elijah soon beat that out of me! But being with Blake I seem to be getting a little off my old self back, and it feels so good!

  I put my hand on his thigh and squeeze it gently and smile sweetly at him. His facial expression doesn’t change, as he casually tells me... “It’s a Mercedes” What the Fuck?!

  “Are you kidding?”

  “No baby, I am not kidding. This is indeed a Mercedes-Benz” He looks at me and smiles his Got-a-problem-with-it smile.

  “I can’t believe you brought a car with your girlfriends name on it,” Alex is in fits of hysterics and Sam’s not far behind.

  “And I can’t believe you’ve suddenly become so stupid as to think I won’t break your fucking neck with my bare hands! So, shut the fuck up before I shut you up!”

  “For Christ sakes, Blake, it was a joke. Why do you always have to be so highly strung?”

  “Shut the fuck up, Alex! You should know better than to fuck with me!”

  “Calm down, baby. I think it’s wonderful” I don’t call him baby often, but I love the look on his face when I do.

  “You do, huh?”

  “Yes, baby, I do” He smiles at me, contended with the fact I like his new toy. It’s actually really sweet that he’d buy a car with my name sprawled all over it. Sweet, yet weird...

  We arrived at Sam’s favorite restaurant, Fargo’s! The place is beautiful; the tables are all dressed as if for royalty, dark green table cloths with a small vase holding one red rose in each. Beautiful crystal Chandeliers hang from the ceiling. It’s beautiful! The dim lighting gives the whole place that romantic feeling. We’re ushered to a table near a window on the left of the restaurant. I’m sure Blake booked this table because of the view outside. I love LA at night, it’s just magical. “Are you ready to order, Sir?” A young dark haired woman dressed in a black and white waitress outfit stands beside me, but directing her question at Blake. It’s plainly obvious to both me and Sam that she likes him. Sam looks at me and raises her eyebrow. I can tell she’s thinking the same as me, this bitch is drooling over my man and Blake doesn’t seem to mind! I see it’s okay for whores to ogle him, but not for men to ogle me! That is a fucking no-no. Not going to happen! What’s good for me is good for him. Plus, I am one extremely jealous bitch where Blake’s concerned. It may have something to do with the fact I know he can do far better than me!

  “Bro?”

  “I want steak with fries and onions, please. Baby, what do you want?” Alex is so sweet in the way he talks to Sam, even when he’s asking her what she wants to eat. It makes me smile.

  “I would like the same please, but make mine medium rare and I want onion rings instead of onions, please” I look at her and smile. God, I envy her appetite “What?” I just smile at her and she sticks her tongue out at me making me laugh; I do love her, crazy cow.

  “I’ll have the gammon steak with pineapple and, whatever else it comes with, please. Mercy?”

  “I’ll have the salad, please. No dressing. Thank you”

  “Salad?”

  “Yes, Sam. Salad”

  “Sadie, eat something else. Please, it’s my birthday. Eat a proper meal”

  “Sam, I want salad. I don’t eat meat you know that. And nothing else on the menu takes my fancy. Salads fine. Thank you” The waitress takes our order and menus and winks at Blake, and he smiles at her. “What the fuck, was that?!”

  “What?”

  “That! You know what. Miss. I-wanna-fuck-your-brains-out”

  “Mercy, don’t be silly, she was just being nice”

  “So, eying up MY boyfriend, winking at him, and you smiling back like a fool is me being silly?”

  “Guys, please don’t argue”

  “We’re not arguing. Are we, Mercedes?”

  “Oh, so now I’m Mercedes, am I? You know what fuck it! Whatever!” He tuts at me and turns to talk to Alex.

  Fucking Bastard!

  I’m so angry, how dare he speak to me that way! He likes her, I know he does, if he didn’t he would have agreed with me! But no! I’m fucking silly, apparently. I grab my wine glass that she filled before leaving and drink the whole thing in one, and then pour myself another and drink that too. It’s so cool and crisp and I do love white wine, it tastes so good. Although, I know I shouldn’t be drinking on medication, it’s highly irresponsible of me yet again. I could cause myself all sorts of damage, or even push myself into an episode! But then I haven’t taken my meds for a couple of days, so in my mind I’ll be fine! “Do you wanna slow down on that stuff?”

  “Who are you my fucking father?” I watch as he narrows his eyes at me, I can see he’s getting angry with me, but I don’t care the wines making me brave and I’ll drink as much as I damn well please! I don’t think I should have spoken to him that way, but the fact I haven’t taken my medication is making me even more brave. The real reason I haven’t taken my meds is because I feel they’ve stopped working and I haven’t had a chance to see my doctor yet to get new ones.

  I think Sam and Alex are relieved when our meals arrive. I know I’m spoiling her night, but I can’t help it, I’ve never felt jealousy like this in my life. But I am, I’m so jealous that I want to smash her face in! If she flirts with him once more I swear I will! “This steak is amazing!” I envy Sam, how she’s always herself and doesn’t care too hoot who sees her eat, she’s so carefree and happy. I watch her and Alex feed each other than plant soft kisses on each others lips, it makes me happy because I can see she’s
finally met the one for her, her soul mate.

  I look at Blake through the corner of my eye, as I take another large sip of my sixth glass of wine. He’s really pissed me off so fuck it, I’ll drink myself stupid! “Are you going to eat something?”

  I pick up a small piece of lettuce and take a tiny bite, then drop it back onto my plate sarcastically. “There. I’ve eaten” The truth is, I’m just not hungry anymore. I feel ridiculous dressed like this, I’m pissed at that woman for ogling my man and I’m half way to being drunk out of my mind!

  I feel his lips next to my ear. “Don’t be so fucking childish; you’re spoiling Sam’s night!” I grind my teeth together. His voice has sent chills down my spine!

  “Please excuse me guys, I have to use the restroom”

  “Oh, wait for me, I need to go to” I wait as she kisses Alex. I don’t bother kissing Blake, even though he’s looking at me. Fuck him! Right now I hate him, but I have no idea why. “Babes, what’s wrong? You seem so angry” Sam asks as we walk out of the restroom.

  “I am and I don’t know why. I hate feeling like this, Sam”

  “Did you take your medication?”

  “Do you wanna say it any louder?!” I say through gritted teeth. Jesus, I don’t think they heard her next door!

  “You have to tell him sometime, you know”

  “I’m well aware of that, but I don’t want him to fucking hate me just yet. So, if it’s okay with you I’ll keep it to myself a little while longer”

  “Okay. But don’t you think you should slow down on the alcohol, you know how dangerous it is to drink...”

  “Please, Sam” I say while cutting her off. “I just want to feel normal, just for once. Please”

  “I know, but it worries me when you drink like this. It always ends badly, Sadie”

  “I just don’t want to be the freak anymore. I’m sick of it, Sam”

  “Oh, babes, it’s okay. Let’s just calm down and enjoy the rest of the night. Okay?”

  “Sure” I give her a halfhearted smile.

  As we walk past the waitress station, I hear that bitch waitress talking to one of her colleagues, a not so young or pretty woman. I stop dead in my tracks right behind her, they’re talking about Blake! What the actual Fuck?!! I fold my arms across my chest and listen. “Look at him, Rose. Just look at him, he’s gorgeous. He’s got eyes to die for. God, what I wouldn’t give for a piece of that”

  “He’s married to that girl; don’t mess with married men, Jenna”

  “He’s not married to her; neither of them are wearing wedding rings. The other ones engaged to the other girl I think. But he’s Blake Benedict for Christ sakes, the whole world would know if he was married. And I’m sure that’s his brother. From what I know neither of them are married” Great! This is all I’m to expect now that I’m with him. Bitches recognizing him, flirting with him, wanting him to take them home! “I don’t even think she’s his type. Okay, she’s pretty, but I thought he liked blondes?” She shrugs to herself. “I don’t think he likes her, he’s not so much as held her hand the whole time they’ve been here. They both look like they’d rather be anywhere but here. She’s probably some whore he agreed to go on a date with to keep the other two happy. I mean she looks like a high class hooker I’ll give her that, but a hooker nonetheless”

  What the hell?!

  Oh my god, do I really look like a hooker? I look at Sam who’s now looking at me with a face full of anger. “I’m gonna kill her!”

  “No, Sadie, please!” But it’s too late, I’ve got the bitch by the hair, dragging her backward into the restroom, while she’s screaming for me to let go. I don’t know where Sam went but she didn’t follow me. I throw the waitress against the wall. She’s looking right at me then at the door, I know she’s going to try and bolt but the bitch is going nowhere!

  “Some whore, huh? A high class hooker?!”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t mean...”

  “Didn’t mean what, huh? You’re flirting with my man, bitch! MY MAN! Did you think you’d turn his head, that he’d want you? Fuck you even?” Jesus, I’m so angry I could burst!

  “I didn’t know you were together”

  “Are you fucking retarded? We arrived together! Hand in hand, you fucking idiot!” I want to rip her fucking eyes out of her head!

  “I’m sorry. It’s just that he’s Blake Benedict, and it’s well documented that he doesn’t have relationships with anyone. Nor does he parade his dates around in public” My chest is heaving! I don’t give a fuck what is documented, he’s with me, we’re in a relationship! Why the fuck am I a secret? Why the fuck hasn’t he told people he’s with me, that he loves me?! I launch myself at her I want to kill her! She screams, just as I’m about to punch her, but I feel someone’s arm around my waist, lifting me off the floor.

  “Oh, no you don’t”

  “Blake! Get your fucking hands off me!” I’m kicking him and punching at his arm and screaming at her all at the same time. I want him to let go, but he won’t, he pulls me back against his chest harder.

  “Calm the fuck down! You. Leave. Now” I scream at him as she runs out of the restroom crying. Fuck it all to hell! Bastard saved her from what she deserved. “What the hell is wrong with you, Mercy?” He asks as he sets me on my feet, turning me to face him, and I can see just how angry he is at me for this.

  “Don’t you fucking dare, Blake! Don’t you stand there all high and mighty with me. You want the bitch, go have her! I’m done being your fucking secret!” Fuck this! I turn to leave, but he grabs my arm hard. Ow! This actually hurts.

  “I don’t fucking want her. Don’t be ridiculous”

  “Well, she certainly wanted you!”

  “I don’t give a fuck what she wanted. Are you angry about her or the fact you all of a sudden think you’re my secret?”

  “Why the fuck shouldn’t I be angry, Blake?” He looks at me for a second, his chest heaving in frustration. “I heard every damn word she said about you and why would a man like you be with a whore like me, that this is a pity date, that I’m a fucking secret. After all, why would a man like you tell the world he loves a slut like me! Well, fuck it, I am so sick of being the whore. It’s all other women see me as, because in all honesty why would a man like you be with a woman like me if not for the things I can do sexually?”

  “What the fuck, is that what you think? That I’m with you for, sex?” I nod. “Fuck, Mercy, how many times am I gonna have to tell you? I love you for you, not for what you can or can’t do, but for who you are. I don’t want or need anybody else. It doesn’t bother me that they flirt because it means nothing to me. You’re my everything, no one else will ever come close” He strokes my face with the back of his hand.

  “It bothers me! Just as it bothers you if men flirt with me. I fucking hate it, Blake! It makes me feel like shit, like I’m not good enough”

  “Mercy, stop this. I get your point. Okay? I understand I do, but it means nothing because I’m yours, all of me, always and forever, and you’re mine. And women flirting with me is quite different from men flirting with you” For fuck sakes I’m fighting a losing battle, he says he understands but he so obviously doesn’t! “You’re not my secret, Mercy. I’m so proud to call you mine” Of course he is, that’s why the whole world still thinks he’s single, and that’s why he still hasn’t mentioned his business to me. He’s not stupid he knows that I know, so why can’t he talk to me about it?

  “I am your secret, Blake. You know it, I know it, pity the world doesn’t” He narrows his eyes in confusion. I sigh to myself. I’m done, I’m just not in the mood for this anymore. “I just wanna dance” I say with a shrug. I do right now; all I want to do is dance till I can’t dance anymore!

  “Dance?” Why is he smiling at me? I’m still angry and in no mood for his smiles, his sexy eyes or his hot body! God, his body! Dammit, why do my thoughts always trail off to that? Maybe I am just a whore. “Why didn’t you just say so?”

 
“I dunno” I shrug.

  “Okay, we can, go dancing under one condition”

  “Oh?”

  “No more jealous attacks on people”

  “Jealous?” He can smirk all he likes, right now all I want to do is stab him to death, then bring him back to life and stab him to death all over again. Jesus, Mercedes, chill out! “Look, can we go or not?” He looks at me for a second, scanning me, trying to read my thoughts by the look of him. But I’m in no mood to let him into my head. He holds his hand out to me, but I just roll my eyes and walk away from him. Now, I’m fully aware he hasn’t actually done anything wrong other than stop me beating the crap out of someone and getting myself arrested, so I’m at a loss as to why I’m treating him like he’s my enemy. I storm over to our table, my foods still there, still untouched and Blake’s is only half eaten. Sam and Alex are deep in conversation.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yes, Alex, but are you guys done? It’s time for some dancing” I can feel Blake’s body heat on my back, and I feel sick. It’s probably all the booze I’m not sure.

  “Yay dancing!” Sam grabs my hand, making me laugh. “I’m so glad because this music is driving me nuts!”

  “And me, Sam. There’s a time and a place for classical music and this just isn’t it” I can’t deal with classical music right now, normally I’d just sit and listen to it, but it arouses me something awful and right now I’m too angry to let it get to me.

  “I totally agree, bestie”

  We laugh and chit chat all the way back to the car. “Can I have my fiancée back, please?”

  “No, you can’t. You can sit up front with your pig of a brother” I don’t know why I just said that, it was out of my mouth before I could stop it! Sam and Alex look at each other, embarrassed and probably wishing they weren’t here. God, what’s wrong with me, I would never have dared to behave this way in front of Elijah. But then I can’t deny that I have acted like this in front of Elijah a few times, but only when my medication stopped working and my mind wasn’t my own. Because I would never have dared behave like this when medicated, he would have killed me! Not that he didn’t beat the crap out of me when I acted like this, because he did. For all I know that’s what Blake’s about to do! I climb into the back seat waiting for Sam to join me, but she doesn’t she gets into the passenger seat. “Ugh! Why aren’t you driving your precious car?” I ask as Blake climbs into the back seat with me.